Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
26 Years, 128 Days and 76378 Haiku later...

Smells like Darth in here.
I need air freshener, quick.
Or else a gas-mask.
Haiku # 70258, March 13, 2021 10:00 pm ET
by Stench of Fig of Pucker
Make art with boogers.
A self portrait can take years.
Keep you occupied.

Beats molesting kids.
GPS ankle device.
Noticed that detail.

You don't need Tinder.
Sex offender registry.
Where pervs can hook up.
Haiku # 70256, March 12, 2021 4:29 am ET
by It's a sick sick world. of Thank God for bullets.
Swiping left and right
No, I'm not on a dating site
Just picking boogers
Haiku # 70255, March 12, 2021 12:21 am ET
by For a good time call... of Booger Wall
If you play the harp
to Black Sabbath's sheet music
Randy Rhoads will come.
Haiku # 70254, March 11, 2021 5:22 pm ET
by In his pants. of Or maybe in your pants and then blame you.
Sandy's a fag hag.
Sponge Bob pretends to be gay
so he can get some.
Haiku # 70253, March 11, 2021 5:12 pm ET
by Pooparazzi with Proof
By eating pussy
you'll destroy the universe
one squirell at a time.
Haiku # 70252, March 11, 2021 5:10 pm ET
by Sandy's Scuba Gear of Bikini Bottom
You just inspired
Enema Vending Machine
See me on Shart Tank
Haiku # 70250, March 11, 2021 12:46 pm ET
by Enema of The People
I once sucked a dick.
I also wrote a poem.
Which one is more gay?
Haiku # 70249, March 11, 2021 10:32 am ET
by Asking for an enema.
I just did suck dick
The dick was not very big
Mine not bigger tho
Haiku # 70248, March 11, 2021 8:54 am ET
by smolDicc
Did I touch a nerve?
Was it in your clitoris?
Cutting of the Rose!
Haiku # 70247, March 10, 2021 9:10 pm ET
by I should have been an Arab. of Seems like their culture is more sane than ours.
New Reserved Beating
FOR MEN WITH large penises
and no bank accounts.

To be specific
African Americans
pulled over by cops.
Haiku # 70246, March 10, 2021 6:37 am ET
by Snowflake Hippie Feminist Poet
New Reserved Seating
FOR MEN WITH small penises
and large bank accounts
Haiku # 70245, March 10, 2021 2:45 am ET
by And of Vice Versa
Food conveyor belt
Delectable selections
followed by rank farts

Glutinous rice balls
Dangle fromunda loin cloth
The heat of the meat
Haiku # 70244, March 10, 2021 1:39 am ET
by Pop Up Restaurant of In Your Pants
Have you ever had
a wasabi enema?
Then you haven't lived!
Haiku # 70243, March 10, 2021 12:37 am ET
by Dr. Snotbegone's Wasabi Nasal Spray. of As Seen on TV!
Oh that soft tuna.
Snuggled in rice and seaweed.
Dipped in wasabi.
Haiku # 70242, March 10, 2021 12:35 am ET
by I shoyu! of Complicated sushi is for ladyboys... But they say we're all a little gay.
Oh, great Sushi Train.
Your mouth becomes the tunnel.
Your ass the exit.

Can you see the light?
Well then you must be a poo.
Wasabi train tracks.
Haiku # 70241, March 9, 2021 10:52 pm ET
by Conveyor belted and strapped in. of Strapped in strap-on... because, you know... it's Japan.
Asian Jesus turns
teenage urine to sake
at the sushi bar.

Angers businessmen.
They'd rather have the urine.
To give them long life.

But they are happy
when he turns one sushi roll
into three hundred.
Haiku # 70240, March 9, 2021 10:46 pm ET
by Chojin, so Zen. So it is written. So it must be. of Urotsukodoji -- Legend of the Overfiend
Samurai sperm cells
have quite high motility
and glow in the dark.

Phosphorescent spooge
has the tang of whale blubber
and young prostitutes.
Haiku # 70239, March 9, 2021 10:39 pm ET
by Ninjas also, but not as much. of E = (6.626*10^-34 J*s)v (that's supposed to be a Greek "nu")
Fukushima jizz
Secret sake recipe
For Christ’s sake have some
Haiku # 70238, March 9, 2021 10:28 pm ET
by True Sake of Radiation
In Adam’s Garden
Turns out it wasn’t a snake
Just a garden hose
Haiku # 70236, March 9, 2021 12:43 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Wayback
In Adam’s garden
Winter gives way to spring, buds.
Snap, crackle, chirp
Haiku # 70235, March 8, 2021 11:39 pm ET
by Cliff Dancer of lives in a tent
Winter crab fishing
Will they make it home alive?
Ask the Bering Sea
Haiku # 70234, March 8, 2021 10:25 pm ET
by King Crab of Lurking
It's always schlong day.
I put it on your pancakes.
And took a picture.
Haiku # 70233, March 8, 2021 8:48 pm ET
by FigPucker in a Blanket. of LOL Although I gave up pork.
What do you call it
Deadhead gets a paper cut
Just a Phil Lesh wound
Haiku # 70232, March 8, 2021 2:03 pm ET
by Rain of Box
Nope, it's not schlong day
Not today or any day
Please put that away
Haiku # 70231, March 8, 2021 7:02 am ET
by Phil Lesh
Is today Schlong Day?
Worried about the hot stove
but I’ve got it out
Haiku # 70230, March 8, 2021 4:58 am ET
by Gordon Ramsay of Nude in kitchen
Vagina poems.
They're so good they suck you in,
birthing new ideas.
Haiku # 70228, March 7, 2021 4:56 pm ET
by DW
Haiku are so cute.
They look so much like dongs with
balls on either side.

Haiku # 70227, March 7, 2021 4:55 pm ET
by Know what I mean.
Streaking through backyards
with the purloined lingerie
Say, let’s follow him
Haiku # 70224, March 7, 2021 2:12 pm ET
by Noticer of Details
Huge girdles and bras
strung out on the old clothesline
Here comes Figpucker!
Haiku # 70223, March 7, 2021 2:06 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of Neighborhood
Hey Darth Figpucker:
You never revile Islam.
Why don't you do that?
Haiku # 70221, March 7, 2021 7:09 am ET
by Imam Ibn Al Waq Al Baqra
My battering ram
Sometimes it gets in the food
Sometimes in your mouth
Haiku # 70220, March 7, 2021 5:25 am ET
by Gordon Fucking Ramsey of Kitchen
We need a Gordons'
Schlong Appeciation Day.
All Gordons go nude.
Haiku # 70219, March 7, 2021 2:15 am ET
by Am I right or what?! of Make it into a law.
Then after that it will be
Haiku # 70218, March 7, 2021 1:39 am ET
by A dolphin shitler.
Inmate, you are blessed.
You are free through haiku verse.
We are imprisoned.
Haiku # 70217, March 6, 2021 10:51 pm ET
by Unincarcerated
But at least they let me write
haiku poetry
Haiku # 70216, March 6, 2021 9:18 pm ET
by Inmate of Correctional Facility
Should have had it bronzed
Hope they got diarrhea
You’re right about Gord
Haiku # 70215, March 6, 2021 8:33 pm ET
by All guys named Gord are hung like horses of Feed Bag
That Japanese "chef".
Had doctors chop off his junk.
Served it as a meal.

Two hundred dollars.
Would have bought you a sample.
Bet it tasted bad.

Hardly a meal.
One-sixth of a nipper's dork.
Give it to the cat.
Haiku # 70214, March 6, 2021 4:46 pm ET
by I'm thinking Gordon Ramsay of The balls alone would be a meal.
Eat rotten haiku!
Fuck the Buddha in his ass!
This is holy truth..
Haiku # 70213, March 6, 2021 1:39 pm ET
by Satori Inc.
Items you will need
Parmesan for cannibals
Cheese grater, fresh scalp
Haiku # 70212, March 6, 2021 11:40 am ET
by Page 22 of Williams-Sonomnoms
we are pakled, the
haiku wont go, can you make
the haiku go? teeth
Haiku # 70211, March 6, 2021 9:49 am ET
by moxie of teeth, are for chewing
Gown with a tent pole
The valedinktorian
made an impression
Haiku # 70210, March 6, 2021 5:52 am ET
by Class of 2021 of Shut ins
Came back for seconds
Darth Figpucker. The Fragrance.
What sexy smells like.
Haiku # 70209, March 6, 2021 3:20 am ET
by Notes of snobby coffee and expensive stolen cheese of Fine Department Stores
Those weren't vestiges.
Those were my Whorrible farts.
Wait... what's a "vestige".
Haiku # 70208, March 6, 2021 2:52 am ET
by We are pirates--we don't even know what that means! of Hondo Ohnaka
I enter the room.
I smell vestiges of Darth.
I leave quite quickly.
Haiku # 70207, March 5, 2021 10:43 pm ET
by Haiku is Dead of Flatline Ward
Hand job in a hearse
Pale hand reaches from coffin
with surprising reach
Haiku # 70206, March 5, 2021 10:30 pm ET
by Smiling of Front Seat
Inhale with gusto
World’s Oldest Living Person
farting in your face
Haiku # 70205, March 5, 2021 6:15 pm ET
by World’s Oldest Living Person of In Your Face
The ever-blasting
dreaming Lee's clever spending
Pure protein jizz float.
Haiku # 70204, March 5, 2021 5:49 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Did they battle with
the Jesus and Mary toast?
Live on Pay-Per-View?

I think for breakfast
I'll have a Bloody Mary
or maybe seven.
Haiku # 70203, March 5, 2021 5:42 pm ET
by In honor of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson
In the breakfast nook
Scrambled egg monster
and burnt toast demon
Haiku # 70202, March 5, 2021 1:20 pm ET
by Morning Nerd of Food Fight
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