Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 212 Days and 70746 Haikus later...

My battering ram
Sometimes it gets in the food
Sometimes in your mouth
Haiku # 70220, March 7, 2021 5:25 am ET
by Gordon Fucking Ramsey of Kitchen
We need a Gordons'
Schlong Appeciation Day.
All Gordons go nude.
Haiku # 70219, March 7, 2021 2:15 am ET
by Am I right or what?! of Make it into a law.
Incarcerated.
Then after that it will be
incenerated.
Haiku # 70218, March 7, 2021 1:39 am ET
by A dolphin shitler.
Inmate, you are blessed.
You are free through haiku verse.
We are imprisoned.
Haiku # 70217, March 6, 2021 10:51 pm ET
by Unincarcerated
Incarcerated
But at least they let me write
haiku poetry
Haiku # 70216, March 6, 2021 9:18 pm ET
by Inmate of Correctional Facility
Should have had it bronzed
Hope they got diarrhea
You’re right about Gord
Haiku # 70215, March 6, 2021 8:33 pm ET
by All guys named Gord are hung like horses of Feed Bag
That Japanese "chef".
Had doctors chop off his junk.
Served it as a meal.

Two hundred dollars.
Would have bought you a sample.
Bet it tasted bad.

Hardly a meal.
One-sixth of a nipper's dork.
Give it to the cat.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2149879/Japanese-man-22-cooks-genitals-serves-paying-dinner-party-guests.html
Haiku # 70214, March 6, 2021 4:46 pm ET
by I'm thinking Gordon Ramsay of The balls alone would be a meal.
Eat rotten haiku!
Fuck the Buddha in his ass!
This is holy truth..
Haiku # 70213, March 6, 2021 1:39 pm ET
by Satori Inc.
Items you will need
Parmesan for cannibals
Cheese grater, fresh scalp
Haiku # 70212, March 6, 2021 11:40 am ET
by Page 22 of Williams-Sonomnoms
we are pakled, the
haiku wont go, can you make
the haiku go? teeth
Haiku # 70211, March 6, 2021 9:49 am ET
by moxie of teeth, are for chewing
Gown with a tent pole
The valedinktorian
made an impression
Haiku # 70210, March 6, 2021 5:52 am ET
by Class of 2021 of Shut ins
Came back for seconds
Darth Figpucker. The Fragrance.
What sexy smells like.
Haiku # 70209, March 6, 2021 3:20 am ET
by Notes of snobby coffee and expensive stolen cheese of Fine Department Stores
Those weren't vestiges.
Those were my Whorrible farts.
Wait... what's a "vestige".
Haiku # 70208, March 6, 2021 2:52 am ET
by We are pirates--we don't even know what that means! of Hondo Ohnaka
I enter the room.
I smell vestiges of Darth.
I leave quite quickly.
Haiku # 70207, March 5, 2021 10:43 pm ET
by Haiku is Dead of Flatline Ward
Hand job in a hearse
Pale hand reaches from coffin
with surprising reach
Haiku # 70206, March 5, 2021 10:30 pm ET
by Smiling of Front Seat
Inhale with gusto
World’s Oldest Living Person
farting in your face
Haiku # 70205, March 5, 2021 6:15 pm ET
by World’s Oldest Living Person of In Your Face
The ever-blasting
dreaming Lee's clever spending
Pure protein jizz float.
Haiku # 70204, March 5, 2021 5:49 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Did they battle with
the Jesus and Mary toast?
Live on Pay-Per-View?

I think for breakfast
I'll have a Bloody Mary
or maybe seven.
Haiku # 70203, March 5, 2021 5:42 pm ET
by In honor of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson
In the breakfast nook
Scrambled egg monster
and burnt toast demon
Haiku # 70202, March 5, 2021 1:20 pm ET
by Morning Nerd of Food Fight
The everlasting
Seemingly never ending
Pure methane jazz note
Haiku # 70201, March 4, 2021 10:18 pm ET
by Toot of vout
The everlasting
Seemingly never ending
Pure methane jazz note
Haiku # 70200, March 4, 2021 10:17 pm ET
by Toot of vout
The everlasting
Seemingly never ending
Pure methane jazz note
Haiku # 70199, March 4, 2021 10:17 pm ET
by Toot of vout
May all the atoms
of your disgusting body
be liberated.
Haiku # 70198, March 4, 2021 7:39 pm ET
by Jimmy Dean's Crematory Services of And Sausage Plant.
Number one life rule:
Don't be a vagina-face.
That's for predator.
Haiku # 70197, March 4, 2021 1:44 pm ET
by The film, not the sex-crime.
Fart Philosophy
Put the Cart before the Funt
Cuntfart Cuntfart Cunt
Haiku # 70196, March 4, 2021 10:47 am ET
by That "Guy" of Fart Philosophy 101
Once upon a time
this guy named Funt owned a cart.
What happened to him?

Did the dogs eat him
and all his rotten verses?
Would be no surprise.
Haiku # 70195, March 4, 2021 3:03 am ET
by We need more filth! of There is not enough on Facebook.
Once upon a time
there was this one millipede
with a foot fetish
Haiku # 70194, March 3, 2021 11:36 pm ET
by P. Bunion of Undisclosed
Have you tried swimming?
Dolphins and whales do it.
Don't be a tortoise!
Haiku # 70193, March 3, 2021 8:28 pm ET
by There is always a way. of But it might kill you.
Cannot part, and the
Cable's indestructible:
Accepting of this
Haiku # 70192, March 3, 2021 7:13 am ET
by skepticaloptimist of Sea level
Au gratin verses.
The dogs enjoy eating cheese.
Fromage fromunda.
Haiku # 70191, March 2, 2021 7:31 pm ET
by Kibbles and Bits. of Nibble my Bits. Nipples and Tits.
Otters eat raw fish.
So that makes them Japanese.
And they write haiku.
Haiku # 70190, March 2, 2021 7:26 pm ET
by Nippers with flippers. of Well, flipper-like tails.
In the mirror
I sit on your face
Humpty Dumpty.
Haiku # 70189, March 2, 2021 6:24 pm ET
by 13 years bad luck
On the mirror
I am see my face
Only empty
Haiku # 70188, March 2, 2021 3:01 pm ET
by Otteri Selva Kumar of The Open International Haiku University, Otteri , Chennai
Super Absorbent
Unscented Haiku Tampons
for your monthly flow
Haiku # 70186, March 2, 2021 4:23 am ET
by Lou Minol of Under Old Willow
Under umbrella
Rain water droping
Dew mood
Haiku # 70185, March 2, 2021 3:15 am ET
by Otteri Selva Kumar of The Open International Haiku University, Otteri , Chennai
Day-Glo Easter Eggs
Jesus in the Time Tunnel
with the X-Ray Eyes
Haiku # 70184, March 1, 2021 8:49 pm ET
by Donnie Darko of Mirror
Left me just say this
You have impeccable taste
and no after taste

Aftertaste’s Restaurant
Like licking yesterday’s beard
with your dry forked tongue
Haiku # 70183, March 1, 2021 8:42 pm ET
by Your Fart of Is the finest compliment
Time to go shopping.
Milk, eggs, bacon, sandwich meat,
wheat bread, cheddar cheese.

Butter, Nutella,
orange soda, chips, fruits, veggies,
off switch for children.
Haiku # 70182, March 1, 2021 8:07 pm ET
by LSD overdose. of In the corner, drooling, eating my boogers, for eternity.
To go back in time,
kidnap Jesus to our time,
quantum tunneling.
Haiku # 70181, March 1, 2021 8:02 pm ET
by Dinosaur Train Time Tunnel. of Why not?!
Back in the good days:
Willy Wonka chocolate bars.
Chocolate crunchy bliss.
Haiku # 70180, March 1, 2021 7:59 pm ET
by Set time machine to 1980.
Grandpa Walton said
When you shit your overalls
no one is your friend
Haiku # 70179, March 1, 2021 7:33 am ET
by Alone of Porch
Haiku Hillbilly
Swigging moonshine from a jug
Pissing syllables
Haiku # 70178, February 28, 2021 10:58 pm ET
by Haiku Hillbilly of Haiku Holler
God and the Bible
and Jesus and the Spirit
And, yes, all of that.
Haiku # 70177, February 28, 2021 4:21 pm ET
by St. Apostate of Coffee-Mate
Uninstalled the game
Not going to waste the time
On to better things
Haiku # 70176, February 28, 2021 3:00 pm ET
by thongs for squirrels
Hey, Pompeii Wanker
Your chariot awaits, sir
(Hand Job in a hearse)
Haiku # 70175, February 28, 2021 1:27 pm ET
by Archie O’logical of Dig this, Daddy-O!!
Here's the down payment
on the sweet smell of a fart
Payment by ShitCoin
Haiku # 70174, February 28, 2021 11:47 am ET
by Anal Musk of Trunk of sibling's car
I'll fart in your face
for only fifty dollars.
Your private tooter.
Haiku # 70173, February 28, 2021 10:32 am ET
by Toot toot tugboat
I'll divide the dink,
then throw it out the window,
and then it will stink.
Haiku # 70172, February 28, 2021 10:30 am ET
by Lorena Bobbit Worm of Bobbing Dinks Since 1993.
The heat of the meat
Divided by the angle
of the dink’s dangle
Haiku # 70171, February 28, 2021 1:23 am ET
by Meatmatician of Private Tutoring Session
"If I say it's safe to surf this beach, Captain, then it's safe to surf this beach!"
Haiku # 70170, February 27, 2021 8:57 pm ET
by I love the smell of napalm in the morning. It smells like... victory. of Ghosts of Baler Bay
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