Once upon a time
there was this one millipede
with a foot fetish
by P. Bunion of Undisclosed
Have you tried swimming?
Dolphins and whales do it.
Don't be a tortoise!
by There is always a way. of But it might kill you.
Cannot part, and the
Cable's indestructible:
Accepting of this
by skepticaloptimist of Sea level
Au gratin verses.
The dogs enjoy eating cheese.
Fromage fromunda.
by Kibbles and Bits. of Nibble my Bits. Nipples and Tits.
Otters eat raw fish.
So that makes them Japanese.
And they write haiku.
by Nippers with flippers. of Well, flipper-like tails.
In the mirror
I sit on your face
Humpty Dumpty.
by 13 years bad luck
On the mirror
I am see my face
Only empty
by Otteri Selva Kumar of The Open International Haiku University, Otteri , Chennai
Super Absorbent
Unscented Haiku Tampons
for your monthly flow
by Lou Minol of Under Old Willow
Under umbrella
Rain water droping
Dew mood
by Otteri Selva Kumar of The Open International Haiku University, Otteri , Chennai
Day-Glo Easter Eggs
Jesus in the Time Tunnel
with the X-Ray Eyes
by Donnie Darko of Mirror
Left me just say this
You have impeccable taste
and no after taste
Aftertaste’s Restaurant
Like licking yesterday’s beard
with your dry forked tongue
by Your Fart of Is the finest compliment
Time to go shopping.
Milk, eggs, bacon, sandwich meat,
wheat bread, cheddar cheese.
Butter, Nutella,
orange soda, chips, fruits, veggies,
off switch for children.
by LSD overdose. of In the corner, drooling, eating my boogers, for eternity.
To go back in time,
kidnap Jesus to our time,
quantum tunneling.
by Dinosaur Train Time Tunnel. of Why not?!
Back in the good days:
Willy Wonka chocolate bars.
Chocolate crunchy bliss.
by Set time machine to 1980.
Grandpa Walton said
When you shit your overalls
no one is your friend
by Alone of Porch
Haiku Hillbilly
Swigging moonshine from a jug
Pissing syllables
by Haiku Hillbilly of Haiku Holler
God and the Bible
and Jesus and the Spirit
And, yes, all of that.
by St. Apostate of Coffee-Mate
Uninstalled the game
Not going to waste the time
On to better things
by thongs for squirrels
Hey, Pompeii Wanker
Your chariot awaits, sir
(Hand Job in a hearse)
by Archie O’logical of Dig this, Daddy-O!!
Here's the down payment
on the sweet smell of a fart
Payment by ShitCoin
by Anal Musk of Trunk of sibling's car
I'll fart in your face
for only fifty dollars.
Your private tooter.
by Toot toot tugboat
I'll divide the dink,
then throw it out the window,
and then it will stink.
by Lorena Bobbit Worm of Bobbing Dinks Since 1993.
The heat of the meat
Divided by the angle
of the dink’s dangle
by Meatmatician of Private Tutoring Session
"If I say it's safe to surf this beach, Captain, then it's safe to surf this beach!"
by I love the smell of napalm in the morning. It smells like... victory. of Ghosts of Baler Bay
The Sunday Dinner
Father spent the whole weekend
“Basting the chicken”
by Norman Rockwell of Vault of Pornography
i hate to return
here to see everywhere else
torn apart ...spoiled brats
by moxie
i like the new set
up on here, irony is
keen to return here
by moxie
i see the censors
are trying to destroy stuff
before self destroy
by vhs
Charlie, you don’t surf
Well, maybe the internet
and the tuna tides
by Tiny Hair of In between teeth
You had to say that.
I'm about to go surfing.
Will it get on me?
by Ewwwwww
The Hager Brothers
jerking off in unison
Twin sea monkey spooj
by Beauregard of Floor
Hand job in the hearse
Embalming fluid. Watch out!
A stiff one to go!
by As seen of At a traffic light
You mean Cock Magic?
Like Randy Marsh on South Park?
So original!!!
by Open your mouth. of Watch the disappearing cock.
Table levitates
Darth's Rise and Shine Breakfast Show
Magician or perv?
by Lady Marmalade of Spreadable
Eggs over easy.
Wheat toast with strawberry jam.
And a strong coffee.
by Maybe two. of Here's a schlong waffle for you.
Jodido gringo
Ju aluays talk abaut sheet.
Que tu problema?
by Juan Cabrales of Huichoctilapanantlamixotl
Two black crows
Sit and talking on the tree
Third world war
by Otteri Selva Kumar of Tomorrow Haiku magazine, Otteri, Chennai
What is end
About with wind
Search again
by Otteri Selva Kumar of Otteri, Chennai
i found my mojo
it was in the bottom drawer
near my underpants
by ash
The man with no dink
shoplifting hard salami
leads a pack of dogs
by Slim Jim of On the run
Which do you prefer:
Hungarian, kielbasa,
Or plain Jimmy Dean?
Andouille, bratwurst,
chorizo, or Italian?
Eat them all right now.
I sense heart attack.
I'm buying life insurance
on you my good friend.
by Please send your personal info of so that I can profit from your cholesterol addiction.
The results are in
Nothing in the world compares
Personal sausage
by Personally Yours of Meat Aisle
My word is sausage
Now you know what you must do.
Good luck and Godspeed
by .
Beneath the surface,
But always in tow, my friend,
I await your word.
by fellownarrator of The abyss
After all this time.
Which of these haiku is worst.
Shall we take a vote?
by Bernie's left mitton. of Bernie does horrible things to me... horrible, I tell you!
My "Majestic Flow"
I'm not sure can be trusted.
You might get pregnant.
by Ron Jeremy of Prison for life.
Speaking of Music,
Jimi Hendrix was Satan.
And thank God for that!
by Over the Rainbow of Along the Watchtower
Led Zeppelin crotch bulge.
It's not about the music.
Sex, drugs, rock & roll.
by A good time was had by all... of Backstage.
Rehearse the worse verse.
Dog hog bog log pollywog.
Handjob in the hearse.
by Giving God handjob in limo hearse. of Blowing Satan after the FUNeral.
That's your vagina?!
Or Arby's roast beef sandwich?
Have some horsey sauce.
by Fine dining. of Hell's Kitchen employee break room.
