Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 307 Days and 72018 Haikus later...

Which do you prefer:
Hungarian, kielbasa,
Or plain Jimmy Dean?

Andouille, bratwurst,
chorizo, or Italian?
Eat them all right now.

I sense heart attack.
I'm buying life insurance
on you my good friend.
Haiku # 70153, February 25, 2021 12:21 am ET
by Please send your personal info of so that I can profit from your cholesterol addiction.
The results are in
Nothing in the world compares
Personal sausage
Haiku # 70152, February 24, 2021 11:40 pm ET
by Personally Yours of Meat Aisle
My word is sausage
Now you know what you must do.
Good luck and Godspeed
Haiku # 70150, February 24, 2021 11:13 pm ET
by .
Beneath the surface,
But always in tow, my friend,
I await your word.
Haiku # 70149, February 24, 2021 9:20 pm ET
by fellownarrator of The abyss
After all this time.
Which of these haiku is worst.
Shall we take a vote?
Haiku # 70148, February 24, 2021 8:27 pm ET
by Bernie's left mitton. of Bernie does horrible things to me... horrible, I tell you!
My "Majestic Flow"
I'm not sure can be trusted.
You might get pregnant.
Haiku # 70147, February 24, 2021 7:50 pm ET
by Ron Jeremy of Prison for life.
Speaking of Music,
Jimi Hendrix was Satan.
And thank God for that!
Haiku # 70145, February 24, 2021 11:38 am ET
by Over the Rainbow of Along the Watchtower
Led Zeppelin crotch bulge.
It's not about the music.
Sex, drugs, rock & roll.
Haiku # 70144, February 24, 2021 11:34 am ET
by A good time was had by all... of Backstage.
Rehearse the worse verse.
Dog hog bog log pollywog.
Handjob in the hearse.
Haiku # 70143, February 24, 2021 11:31 am ET
by Giving God handjob in limo hearse. of Blowing Satan after the FUNeral.
That's your vagina?!
Or Arby's roast beef sandwich?
Have some horsey sauce.
Haiku # 70142, February 24, 2021 10:38 am ET
by Fine dining. of Hell's Kitchen employee break room.
Sophistication,
All the croissants and red wine
Will not give to you.
Haiku # 70141, February 24, 2021 6:28 am ET
by A little death never killed anyone.
It just won't flush down
Your seventeen syllables
and kernels of corn
Haiku # 70140, February 24, 2021 4:39 am ET
by Stinxy of Sphinxter
Haiku en Francais:
Alors, qu'est-ce qu ca vous dit...
Vous, les vrais idiots?
Haiku # 70138, February 23, 2021 8:14 am ET
by Un Pet Dans l'Eau of Sans Accent, bien sur
Darth, il est le pire.
Vraiment, il me fait vomir
Et je dois le dire.
Haiku # 70137, February 23, 2021 7:56 am ET
by La Comptesse de Cul
Vous n'etes que des cons.
Vous etes tellement ennuyeux.
Ca me fait chier.
Haiku # 70136, February 23, 2021 7:53 am ET
by Cherchez La Femme
All is vanity . . .
(Easy for King Sol to say
between concubines)
Haiku # 70135, February 23, 2021 7:50 am ET
by Le Compte de Chie-en-lit of A La Carte menu
nothing much to say
so why not say it in verse
say too much nothing
Haiku # 70134, February 23, 2021 6:52 am ET
by ash of see what i did there ?
savor the saviour
and flavor your behaviour
golden road paver
Haiku # 70133, February 22, 2021 9:13 pm ET
by Sheriff Taylor shot a man
Fuck me in the ass.
Do my Deliverance style.
I'll be your piggy. SKWWEEEEEEE
Haiku # 70131, February 22, 2021 9:41 am ET
by Banjos dueling in the background.
C U N T.
I think that spells cunt.
Deal with it.
Haiku # 70130, February 22, 2021 9:35 am ET
by Cunt Face Predator of not very sexual.
If you aint HAIKU
Get the hell off of here NOW.
It's haiku verse, boy.
Haiku # 70129, February 22, 2021 5:52 am ET
by Syllabic Orthodoxy of Epoxy
Does this time machine
have a functional latrine?
Cause I gotta go
Haiku # 70128, February 22, 2021 3:53 am ET
by 2 Late of Stained Drawers throughout Time
Does this time machine
have a functional latrine?
Cause I gotta go
Haiku # 70127, February 22, 2021 3:53 am ET
by 2 Late of Stained Drawers throughout Time
Build a time machine.
I built one -- haven't looked back.
... oh... wait a minute.
Haiku # 70126, February 21, 2021 1:51 am ET
by George Orwell's last fart.
i long for the past
as a widower grieves his wife
my heart aches
for long tomorrow
spirit i have loved
love i have lost who left
haunted, the scent of lavender
tear drop equilibrium: pain
Haiku # 70125, February 20, 2021 7:44 pm ET
by assumed miscreant of full broken heart
Feces manure
ca-ca dung shit poop crap grunt
doo-doo sewage stool.
Haiku # 70124, February 20, 2021 1:15 am ET
by that's why I excrement to say.
Eight Six Seven Five,
Followed by Three Zero Nine
Tommy Tutone Rules
Haiku # 70122, February 19, 2021 10:05 pm ET
by Big Rick of Tennessee
Life is a highway
And I'm going to ride it
All night long (solo)
Haiku # 70121, February 19, 2021 10:00 pm ET
by Big Rick of Tennessee
Patrick Swayze dead
Because Demi Moore killed him
You can look it up
Haiku # 70120, February 19, 2021 8:43 pm ET
by Factual fractals and pterodactyls
Penis ghost pecker
Chase it down with ice cold milk
The burn will haunt you
Haiku # 70119, February 19, 2021 6:52 pm ET
by Demi of Pottery wheel
Poop poop poop poop poop.
Dull excrementality:
That's Darth Figpucker.
Haiku # 70118, February 19, 2021 12:39 pm ET
by Puckered Fig of Yawn
Bad Haiku News

Rush Limbaugh is dead
Perseverance lands on Mars
US Covid strains
Haiku # 70117, February 19, 2021 10:14 am ET
by Crimson Mind of Phoenix, AZ
Bad Haiku New

Cruz goes to Cancun
Cuomo Covid death count low
Texas in deep freeze
Haiku # 70116, February 19, 2021 10:13 am ET
by Crimson Mind of Phoenix, AZ
Bad Haiku News

Trump is acquitted
57 to 43
Trump celebration
Haiku # 70115, February 19, 2021 10:12 am ET
by Crimson Mind of Phoenix, AZ
I like watermelon.
But it gives me the runs.
Damn, I wish I was black.
Haiku # 70114, February 18, 2021 4:04 pm ET
by Yet another reason.
Did Ozzy Osbourne
swallow the head of the bat
then poop out its skull.
Haiku # 70113, February 18, 2021 5:00 am ET
by The public deserves answers!
By the same lady
that did Bernie's cute mittons
and my underwear.
Haiku # 70112, February 18, 2021 4:52 am ET
by Piece of history. of Piece of ass.
Mutton chop sideburns
Knitted from the pubic hair
of Elvis Presley
Haiku # 70111, February 18, 2021 1:42 am ET
by Reabsorbed Twin of Elvis, Entrepreneur of On the Other Side but still hustling
Let's talk religion
philosophy, and science.
Fart jokes are now banned.
Haiku # 70110, February 17, 2021 8:36 pm ET
by Farcebook Police Dept. of Not enough censorship in day job.
Which is more pervy,
Woman likes child molesters
or gramps with hot babes?
Haiku # 70109, February 17, 2021 11:17 am ET
by It's a sick, sick world.
Using the word "chop"
and "penis" in one haiku.
Loraina Bobbit?
Haiku # 70108, February 17, 2021 11:08 am ET
by John Wayne. of Better circle the wagons, pilgram.
When robots make poop
It comes out as a long string
Letters and numbers
Haiku # 70107, February 17, 2021 3:02 am ET
by Robot of Lit
Remember the jokes
with Johnny Fuckerfaster
He was trying to...
Haiku # 70105, February 16, 2021 7:44 pm ET
by Can't remember of Joke nor punchline
Not all are bad here
Most haikus just need more work
Need... motivation.
Haiku # 70104, February 16, 2021 6:53 pm ET
by Warflarglbargl of Barglarglwarfl
Elvis penis ghost
It has mutton chop sideburns
Hunk of burning love
Haiku # 70103, February 16, 2021 2:34 pm ET
by I will not grow up you bossy poo face
Just grow the fuck up
Its like junior high school here
Immaturity
Haiku # 70102, February 16, 2021 11:11 am ET
by Bossy McFucky
Evil penis ghost
It starts out small but grows big
Then it spits at you
Haiku # 70101, February 16, 2021 2:02 am ET
by Dinky Doo of Phantom Phallus Investigative Research Foundation
Angle of dangle
Proportional to meat heat
You can’t argue that
Haiku # 70100, February 16, 2021 1:59 am ET
by Slim Jim of Hanging low
Angling is fishing
I’ve got a pole. So do you.
And you have a worm
Haiku # 70099, February 15, 2021 10:31 pm ET
by Catfish Net of Stalkings
Fuck TikTok.
I'll say it again.
Fuck TikTok.
Haiku # 70098, February 15, 2021 10:05 am ET
by No equation could be this true!
< 50 Less Recent Haiku 50 More Recent Haiku >