Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 182 Days and 70642 Haikus later...

Evil penis ghost
It starts out small but grows big
Then it spits at you
Haiku # 70101, February 16, 2021 2:02 am ET
by Dinky Doo of Phantom Phallus Investigative Research Foundation
Angle of dangle
Proportional to meat heat
You can’t argue that
Haiku # 70100, February 16, 2021 1:59 am ET
by Slim Jim of Hanging low
Angling is fishing
I’ve got a pole. So do you.
And you have a worm
Haiku # 70099, February 15, 2021 10:31 pm ET
by Catfish Net of Stalkings
Fuck TikTok.
I'll say it again.
Fuck TikTok.
Haiku # 70098, February 15, 2021 10:05 am ET
by No equation could be this true!
The angle of the dangle is proportional to the heat of the meat.
Haiku # 70097, February 15, 2021 10:01 am ET
by blahblahblah
I don't know "wokeness".
But I do know "Wookieness".
Just bang drunk Ewoks.
Haiku # 70096, February 15, 2021 9:57 am ET
by DARTH Whorendous is the name.
For math tutoring
I just need lots of money
or some LSD.

The drugs are for you.
Then you'll think that you learned math.
When you're just trippin'.
Haiku # 70095, February 15, 2021 9:54 am ET
by Think I give away my secrets for peanuts?!?!
is df on here?
i want to have some advice
on fixing wokeness
Haiku # 70094, February 14, 2021 11:25 pm ET
by moxie
How do I sign up
for math tutoring, Darth?
I need extra help
Haiku # 70092, February 14, 2021 6:58 pm ET
by G.E.
Schrodinger's dinger;
It is both erect and not.
First you must observe!
Haiku # 70091, February 14, 2021 6:25 pm ET
by You get what you get, don't throw a fit.
The amount of cats
is only approximate.
Schrodinger's grandma.
Haiku # 70090, February 14, 2021 6:21 pm ET
by Check out my huge equation!
This Valentine’s Day
Get her what she really wants
Kittens! Kittens! Cats!
Haiku # 70089, February 14, 2021 4:01 am ET
by You Know of It’s True
It's good to be home.
But it's better to be in
the local brothel.
Haiku # 70088, February 13, 2021 12:14 pm ET
by Valentines Day and Venereal Disease of Like chocolate and peanut butter. Extra crunchy.
Not all that funny.
Not boner inspiring.
Not worth watching it.
Haiku # 70087, February 13, 2021 12:11 pm ET
by Mr. Negativity w/ slow internet.
i had to share this
because it is just so good
trust me, you'll love it


https://youtu.be/BZlRt05RY9Y
Haiku # 70086, February 13, 2021 4:08 am ET
by ash
Sylvester Stallone
Sweaty underwear. Skid marks.
Raw egg in tall glass
Haiku # 70085, February 12, 2021 11:08 pm ET
by Noticer of Details
Chair Aerobics Class
Lift, lift, lift the left butt cheek
Fart! Fart! Feel the Burn!
Haiku # 70084, February 12, 2021 7:15 pm ET
by Funtcart of Roast Beef Explosion
New dance routine
First, remove all of your clothes
(release the fire ants)
Haiku # 70083, February 12, 2021 5:28 pm ET
by Juh Juh Juh Jitterbug of Wham! UK
Under the covers
you will find the dutch oven
It's your wake up call
Haiku # 70082, February 12, 2021 4:54 pm ET
by Methane Windmill of Worst Case, Ontario
Under the covers
doesn't matter how you look
we are all the same
Haiku # 70081, February 12, 2021 11:26 am ET
by Ellen Urowitz of Toronto Ontario
Golden yellow leaves
spotted in middle winter
in Toronto
Haiku # 70080, February 12, 2021 11:22 am ET
by Ellen Urowitz of Toronto Ontario
Pednecrozoophile.
Dead baby anilmal sex.
Stinky puppet show.
Haiku # 70079, February 12, 2021 4:33 am ET
by Nuclear war will cleanse the planet of the filth we have become.
Pednecrozoophile.
Dead baby anilmal sex.
Stinky puppet show.
Haiku # 70078, February 12, 2021 4:33 am ET
by Nuclear war will cleanse the planet of the filth we have become.
They forgot my fave
crunchy poop lovers dot org
asm dot org
Haiku # 70077, February 12, 2021 12:39 am ET
by blahblah
Call it sleepy seeds
Sandman filling the sand bag
Wake up with a smile
Haiku # 70075, February 11, 2021 6:16 pm ET
by Serta Sheep of Hiding
Orgasm on her
when awake if you love her,
asleep if it's hate.

Dot ru, of course.
R U a honey old man?
Come visit Russia.
Haiku # 70074, February 11, 2021 3:20 pm ET
by Borat of Very nice!
orgasm on loveawake.ru
Haiku # 70073, February 11, 2021 1:23 pm ET
by SandraNoitE of Spain
Don't trust lesbians.
They all have daddy issues.
And they want revenge.
Haiku # 70072, February 11, 2021 8:51 am ET
by Truth!
You can freeze to death.
I will take malaria
to that any day!
Haiku # 70071, February 11, 2021 12:57 am ET
by The only thing I need cold is beer. of And maybe pina colada. And ice cream.
A lot of cocaine
in the midwest nowadays.
Oh, no, that's just snow.

Ha ha ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Haiku # 70070, February 11, 2021 12:55 am ET
by Better you than me!
An itch I can’t scratch
Feeling of euphoria
I do wish to catch

Please open your door
That baggy that contains it
Oh the sweet snow coke
Haiku # 70069, February 11, 2021 12:18 am ET
by Line of lines
Can you imagine
getting a ride on his back?
He looks so friendly
Haiku # 70068, February 11, 2021 12:03 am ET
by Undisclosed of Purveyors of Haggis
A word to the wise
The Loch Ness Monster is NOT
a cephalopod
Haiku # 70067, February 10, 2021 11:58 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of Here for you
But I must confess
My first thought was that I saw
the Loch Ness Monster
Haiku # 70066, February 10, 2021 11:55 pm ET
by Lass of Slightly Used Bagpipe Shoppe
Your outboard motor
did certainly catch my eye
that day at the lake
Haiku # 70065, February 10, 2021 11:51 pm ET
by Nude Enthusiast behind the bush of Outdoors
I don't need to flash
at a nudist colony
with hot surfer chix.
Haiku # 70064, February 10, 2021 10:35 pm ET
by Surfing with dink out. of Sort of like paddle boarding.
How I picture you
Cool trench coat like Robert Stack
but flashing your dink
Haiku # 70063, February 10, 2021 8:38 pm ET
by Noticer of details of Solved Mystery
Quarantine Royale
Charles’ face, Camilla’s crumpet
Out comes marmalade
Haiku # 70062, February 10, 2021 8:26 pm ET
by Reptilian with blue balls of Fox Run (portable latrine)
Rare roast beef curtains
Horseradish makes you horny
Sam the Butcher’s load
Haiku # 70061, February 10, 2021 7:31 pm ET
by Alice (maid) of Meandering snailtrail
There once was a time
everyone tossed their urine
out of the window
Haiku # 70060, February 10, 2021 7:27 pm ET
by I. P. Frehley of Piss Jug Mountain
Don't visit much now.
Too much excremental filth.
Give the site to Darth.
Haiku # 70059, February 10, 2021 6:08 pm ET
by The New Look is Depressing
Bang that choco cup
into a whore's asshole with
a wooden paddle.

After which you may
suck out the peanut butter.
Post pics on Facebook.
Haiku # 70058, February 10, 2021 5:47 pm ET
by The Real Donald Trump
If there's no wrong way
to eat a Reese's Peanut
Butter Cup, you're lame.

You have not tried to
use your immagination.
There's lots of wrong ways.
Haiku # 70057, February 10, 2021 11:23 am ET
by DW
When you get married
Pee in your spouse's coffee
and watch them drink it
Haiku # 70056, February 10, 2021 12:58 am ET
by Happily Divorced
That wasn't a murder.
Suicide by Ex-Lax.
Unfortunate toilet.
Haiku # 70055, February 10, 2021 12:22 am ET
by It would be funny if someone poisoned their Ex with Ex-Lax.
It’s my first time here
I hope you like my poem
Did I do it right?
Haiku # 70054, February 9, 2021 11:06 pm ET
by The New Poet of Bad Haiku
Police tape on door
Murder in the bathroom stall
Asshole blown apart
Haiku # 70053, February 9, 2021 6:39 pm ET
by Law and Odor of Crime Scene
japan to chy....na
self interest vs collect
...ive thinking right here???
Haiku # 70052, February 9, 2021 10:21 am ET
by moxie
Here's something to not try.
Just try giving a shit
when you don't have a leg.
Haiku # 70051, February 9, 2021 8:09 am ET
by To stand on.
What if I don't have legs?
Should I stand with my dink?
I can do it, I think.
Haiku # 70050, February 9, 2021 7:09 am ET
by Dick Ramrod
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