Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 107 Days and 70170 Haikus later...

The amount of cats
is only approximate.
Schrodinger's grandma.
Haiku # 70090, February 14, 2021 6:21 pm ET
by Check out my huge equation!
This Valentine’s Day
Get her what she really wants
Kittens! Kittens! Cats!
Haiku # 70089, February 14, 2021 4:01 am ET
by You Know of It’s True
It's good to be home.
But it's better to be in
the local brothel.
Haiku # 70088, February 13, 2021 12:14 pm ET
by Valentines Day and Venereal Disease of Like chocolate and peanut butter. Extra crunchy.
Not all that funny.
Not boner inspiring.
Not worth watching it.
Haiku # 70087, February 13, 2021 12:11 pm ET
by Mr. Negativity w/ slow internet.
i had to share this
because it is just so good
trust me, you'll love it


https://youtu.be/BZlRt05RY9Y
Haiku # 70086, February 13, 2021 4:08 am ET
by ash
Sylvester Stallone
Sweaty underwear. Skid marks.
Raw egg in tall glass
Haiku # 70085, February 12, 2021 11:08 pm ET
by Noticer of Details
Chair Aerobics Class
Lift, lift, lift the left butt cheek
Fart! Fart! Feel the Burn!
Haiku # 70084, February 12, 2021 7:15 pm ET
by Funtcart of Roast Beef Explosion
New dance routine
First, remove all of your clothes
(release the fire ants)
Haiku # 70083, February 12, 2021 5:28 pm ET
by Juh Juh Juh Jitterbug of Wham! UK
Under the covers
you will find the dutch oven
It's your wake up call
Haiku # 70082, February 12, 2021 4:54 pm ET
by Methane Windmill of Worst Case, Ontario
Under the covers
doesn't matter how you look
we are all the same
Haiku # 70081, February 12, 2021 11:26 am ET
by Ellen Urowitz of Toronto Ontario
Golden yellow leaves
spotted in middle winter
in Toronto
Haiku # 70080, February 12, 2021 11:22 am ET
by Ellen Urowitz of Toronto Ontario
Pednecrozoophile.
Dead baby anilmal sex.
Stinky puppet show.
Haiku # 70079, February 12, 2021 4:33 am ET
by Nuclear war will cleanse the planet of the filth we have become.
Pednecrozoophile.
Dead baby anilmal sex.
Stinky puppet show.
Haiku # 70078, February 12, 2021 4:33 am ET
by Nuclear war will cleanse the planet of the filth we have become.
They forgot my fave
crunchy poop lovers dot org
asm dot org
Haiku # 70077, February 12, 2021 12:39 am ET
by blahblah
http://wifexx.xyz - foot job
http://virginities.xyz - nymphomania
http://xxxed.xyz - fuck
http://xxxcum.xyz - lingerie
http://nymphomania.xyz - lingerie
http://sissysexwife.xyz - tranny
http://didlo.xyz - pissing
http://vaginals.xyz - anorgasmic
http://didlo.xyz - eros
http://cyber-sex.xyz - wet dream
Haiku # 70076, February 11, 2021 10:40 pm ET
by GabrielHep of Malta
Call it sleepy seeds
Sandman filling the sand bag
Wake up with a smile
Haiku # 70075, February 11, 2021 6:16 pm ET
by Serta Sheep of Hiding
Orgasm on her
when awake if you love her,
asleep if it's hate.

Dot ru, of course.
R U a honey old man?
Come visit Russia.
Haiku # 70074, February 11, 2021 3:20 pm ET
by Borat of Very nice!
orgasm on loveawake.ru
Haiku # 70073, February 11, 2021 1:23 pm ET
by SandraNoitE of Spain
Don't trust lesbians.
They all have daddy issues.
And they want revenge.
Haiku # 70072, February 11, 2021 8:51 am ET
by Truth!
You can freeze to death.
I will take malaria
to that any day!
Haiku # 70071, February 11, 2021 12:57 am ET
by The only thing I need cold is beer. of And maybe pina colada. And ice cream.
A lot of cocaine
in the midwest nowadays.
Oh, no, that's just snow.

Ha ha ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Haiku # 70070, February 11, 2021 12:55 am ET
by Better you than me!
An itch I can’t scratch
Feeling of euphoria
I do wish to catch

Please open your door
That baggy that contains it
Oh the sweet snow coke
Haiku # 70069, February 11, 2021 12:18 am ET
by Line of lines
Can you imagine
getting a ride on his back?
He looks so friendly
Haiku # 70068, February 11, 2021 12:03 am ET
by Undisclosed of Purveyors of Haggis
A word to the wise
The Loch Ness Monster is NOT
a cephalopod
Haiku # 70067, February 10, 2021 11:58 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of Here for you
But I must confess
My first thought was that I saw
the Loch Ness Monster
Haiku # 70066, February 10, 2021 11:55 pm ET
by Lass of Slightly Used Bagpipe Shoppe
Your outboard motor
did certainly catch my eye
that day at the lake
Haiku # 70065, February 10, 2021 11:51 pm ET
by Nude Enthusiast behind the bush of Outdoors
I don't need to flash
at a nudist colony
with hot surfer chix.
Haiku # 70064, February 10, 2021 10:35 pm ET
by Surfing with dink out. of Sort of like paddle boarding.
How I picture you
Cool trench coat like Robert Stack
but flashing your dink
Haiku # 70063, February 10, 2021 8:38 pm ET
by Noticer of details of Solved Mystery
Quarantine Royale
Charles’ face, Camilla’s crumpet
Out comes marmalade
Haiku # 70062, February 10, 2021 8:26 pm ET
by Reptilian with blue balls of Fox Run (portable latrine)
Rare roast beef curtains
Horseradish makes you horny
Sam the Butcher’s load
Haiku # 70061, February 10, 2021 7:31 pm ET
by Alice (maid) of Meandering snailtrail
There once was a time
everyone tossed their urine
out of the window
Haiku # 70060, February 10, 2021 7:27 pm ET
by I. P. Frehley of Piss Jug Mountain
Don't visit much now.
Too much excremental filth.
Give the site to Darth.
Haiku # 70059, February 10, 2021 6:08 pm ET
by The New Look is Depressing
Bang that choco cup
into a whore's asshole with
a wooden paddle.

After which you may
suck out the peanut butter.
Post pics on Facebook.
Haiku # 70058, February 10, 2021 5:47 pm ET
by The Real Donald Trump
If there's no wrong way
to eat a Reese's Peanut
Butter Cup, you're lame.

You have not tried to
use your immagination.
There's lots of wrong ways.
Haiku # 70057, February 10, 2021 11:23 am ET
by DW
When you get married
Pee in your spouse's coffee
and watch them drink it
Haiku # 70056, February 10, 2021 12:58 am ET
by Happily Divorced
That wasn't a murder.
Suicide by Ex-Lax.
Unfortunate toilet.
Haiku # 70055, February 10, 2021 12:22 am ET
by It would be funny if someone poisoned their Ex with Ex-Lax.
It’s my first time here
I hope you like my poem
Did I do it right?
Haiku # 70054, February 9, 2021 11:06 pm ET
by The New Poet of Bad Haiku
Police tape on door
Murder in the bathroom stall
Asshole blown apart
Haiku # 70053, February 9, 2021 6:39 pm ET
by Law and Odor of Crime Scene
japan to chy....na
self interest vs collect
...ive thinking right here???
Haiku # 70052, February 9, 2021 10:21 am ET
by moxie
Here's something to not try.
Just try giving a shit
when you don't have a leg.
Haiku # 70051, February 9, 2021 8:09 am ET
by To stand on.
What if I don't have legs?
Should I stand with my dink?
I can do it, I think.
Haiku # 70050, February 9, 2021 7:09 am ET
by Dick Ramrod
Here’s something to try
See if you can take a shit
standing on one leg
Haiku # 70049, February 8, 2021 10:00 pm ET
by Jack Lalanne’s ghoul
Domestic terror:
The neighborly thang to do.
Apple pie and God.
Haiku # 70048, February 8, 2021 4:51 pm ET
by Amen, Bless You Sister of Hickry Holler
Everyone on a Earth
Release a synchronized fart
In unity’s name
Haiku # 70047, February 8, 2021 12:24 pm ET
by All together now of Pffffffffffffft International
Down the toilet, "weeeee".
A water slide made of pee.
Goes Sir Hankey Poo.

He knows what to do.
Sliding down with Christmas glee.
(A haikuerlick.)
Haiku # 70046, February 8, 2021 3:24 am ET
by Eucalyptus?!?! of You can lick this!!
I've lost you my dear
I take up the notes of which
I remember you

You aren’t here and yet
I search for you. I need you
My email password
Haiku # 70045, February 7, 2021 11:37 pm ET
by Line of lines
Pooo, downgrade, waterslide
i actually peed butt
i boast surf ride my pee.
Haiku # 70044, February 7, 2021 11:04 pm ET
by Sewage water park. Serious business!
ooo, upgrade, surprise
i can actually read what
i post, survived me
Haiku # 70043, February 7, 2021 9:44 pm ET
by mox
That sounds sensible
but don't people think you might
be a detective?
Haiku # 70042, February 7, 2021 9:33 pm ET
by That must be Columbo of and his gun is size Jumbo
You have to hide your dink.
So I wear a trench coat.
When I'm out splatting spooge.

My fave is the ceiling.
Relax and watch it drip.
Sipping a hot coffee.

Five points arms and shoulders.
Ten points for hair or face.
Twenty if in their drink.
Haiku # 70041, February 7, 2021 6:52 pm ET
by And drink rhymes with dink! of You're welcome!
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