Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
26 Years, 323 Days and 76717 Haiku later...

Police tape on door
Murder in the bathroom stall
Asshole blown apart
Haiku # 70053, February 9, 2021 6:39 pm ET
by Law and Odor of Crime Scene
japan to
self interest vs collect
...ive thinking right here???
Haiku # 70052, February 9, 2021 10:21 am ET
by moxie
Here's something to not try.
Just try giving a shit
when you don't have a leg.
Haiku # 70051, February 9, 2021 8:09 am ET
by To stand on.
What if I don't have legs?
Should I stand with my dink?
I can do it, I think.
Haiku # 70050, February 9, 2021 7:09 am ET
by Dick Ramrod
Here’s something to try
See if you can take a shit
standing on one leg
Haiku # 70049, February 8, 2021 10:00 pm ET
by Jack Lalanne’s ghoul
Domestic terror:
The neighborly thang to do.
Apple pie and God.
Haiku # 70048, February 8, 2021 4:51 pm ET
by Amen, Bless You Sister of Hickry Holler
Everyone on a Earth
Release a synchronized fart
In unity’s name
Haiku # 70047, February 8, 2021 12:24 pm ET
by All together now of Pffffffffffffft International
Down the toilet, "weeeee".
A water slide made of pee.
Goes Sir Hankey Poo.

He knows what to do.
Sliding down with Christmas glee.
(A haikuerlick.)
Haiku # 70046, February 8, 2021 3:24 am ET
by Eucalyptus?!?! of You can lick this!!
I've lost you my dear
I take up the notes of which
I remember you

You aren’t here and yet
I search for you. I need you
My email password
Haiku # 70045, February 7, 2021 11:37 pm ET
by Line of lines
Pooo, downgrade, waterslide
i actually peed butt
i boast surf ride my pee.
Haiku # 70044, February 7, 2021 11:04 pm ET
by Sewage water park. Serious business!
ooo, upgrade, surprise
i can actually read what
i post, survived me
Haiku # 70043, February 7, 2021 9:44 pm ET
by mox
That sounds sensible
but don't people think you might
be a detective?
Haiku # 70042, February 7, 2021 9:33 pm ET
by That must be Columbo of and his gun is size Jumbo
You have to hide your dink.
So I wear a trench coat.
When I'm out splatting spooge.

My fave is the ceiling.
Relax and watch it drip.
Sipping a hot coffee.

Five points arms and shoulders.
Ten points for hair or face.
Twenty if in their drink.
Haiku # 70041, February 7, 2021 6:52 pm ET
by And drink rhymes with dink! of You're welcome!
Invisible ink
coming from visible dink
You’ll land in the clink
Haiku # 70040, February 7, 2021 6:28 pm ET
by Your pen is leaking of Ha ha ha penis
That's what I've been saying!
Throw your spooge on the wall.
It's a pencil drawing.
Haiku # 70039, February 7, 2021 5:44 pm ET
by But if I do that in Starbucks they try to arrest me! of No appreciation of public art.
Let’s get to the point
A man has to have some lead
in the old pencil
Haiku # 70038, February 7, 2021 3:42 pm ET
by #2 of Ticonderoga
What can a man not do
with a head full of lead?
Chinese toy paint poison.

It hasn't stopped me yet.
Melt me down and sell me.
Absolutely wacky.
Haiku # 70037, February 7, 2021 2:34 pm ET
by Depleted uranium of uranium for yer anus
Well he can’t do it
With a bullet in his head
That should slow him down
Haiku # 70036, February 7, 2021 2:19 pm ET
by Go ballistic of Awesome
I'm inappropriate.
Twats taste better sans pierced.
Strange that I'm always hard.
Haiku # 70034, February 7, 2021 9:27 am ET
by You wouldn't believe what I noticed! of You better get out the way of that train... on 2nd thought...
i'm disappointed
fonts are better sans serif
change is always hard
Haiku # 70033, February 7, 2021 7:44 am ET
by ash
Pick me; I'm a booger!
Me teacher! Me! Me! Me! Me!
I want a big gold star!
Haiku # 70032, February 7, 2021 5:05 am ET
by Boner inspiring. of Hot for teacher.
Ash is so sexy.
Have you seen his nude pictures?
A total heart throb.
Haiku # 70031, February 7, 2021 4:48 am ET
by I'm not even gay and he turns me on!
Ash is the winner
Your prize is a free haiku
Pick any topic
Haiku # 70030, February 6, 2021 3:57 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker will create of a poem just for you
pick me, yes, pick me
i am a lucky poet
very deserving
Haiku # 70029, February 6, 2021 6:54 am ET
by ash
The lucky poet
who submits the next haiku
will win a fun prize
Haiku # 70028, February 6, 2021 1:40 am ET
by The Management of Under Old Willow

Haiku # 70027, February 6, 2021 1:14 am ET
by Mostly Invisible Poet
An odorless gas
emanating from an ass
flying in First Class
Haiku # 70026, February 5, 2021 11:10 pm ET
by Al Titude of High
When Ted Bundy
drives up in his Volkswagen
don’t wave back at him
Haiku # 70025, February 5, 2021 10:47 pm ET
by (Puget) Sound Advice of Undisclosed
Unsolved Mysteries
I can’t get through the theme song
Cue bowel movement
Haiku # 70024, February 5, 2021 10:37 pm ET
by Pavlov’s Log of Freshly cut
Try this dewormer
Must be taken rectally
Wait. It will crawl out.
Haiku # 70023, February 5, 2021 8:40 pm ET
by Free Pet Worm of with Certificate of Adoption
I would never shit you;
You're my favorite turd.
Eternally full of shit.

That's a new medical condition I just made up.
Watch the Social Security checks roll in.
Haiku # 70022, February 5, 2021 6:49 pm ET
by Don't you love parasites.
I'd like to kill some folks.
I know some deserve it.
But you know how it goes.
Haiku # 70021, February 5, 2021 5:34 am ET
by I just kill beers.
Jelly fish jizz fest
Cephalopod circle jerk
Where sea foam comes from
Haiku # 70020, February 5, 2021 2:43 am ET
by Jacques Itch Cousteau of talking fish fart molecule
It’s like you’re my friend
who just might also be a
serial killer
Even if you are
I don’t think you would kill me
So that means we’re friends
Haiku # 70019, February 5, 2021 2:30 am ET
by Your friend of Under old willow
Cross marijuana with
Venus fly traps and make
cannibal cannabis.
Haiku # 70018, February 5, 2021 2:27 am ET
by Go eat yourself. of Feed me, Seymour!
Hot Dog Ministry
The preacher was a midget
He got arrested

Unless I dreamed this
To the best of my knowledge
It’s a true story
Haiku # 70017, February 5, 2021 2:22 am ET
by Frank of Undisclosed
Pink Floyd and cannibals.
It's just like you know me.
But I'm not sure you do.
Haiku # 70016, February 5, 2021 2:22 am ET
by Another life, another death. of Where will it all end.
Hall and Oates for President
In another dimension
Yes, they are conjoined
Haiku # 70015, February 5, 2021 1:07 am ET
by John Boy Walton’s Mole of Admiring a certain moustache
Whoa-oh here she comes,
Watch out boy she'll chew you up,
She's a Maneater.
Haiku # 70014, February 5, 2021 12:30 am ET
by Cayman of Illinois
Haiku hookup
Let’s meet behind the old Mall
Wear your Pink Floyd shirt
Haiku # 70013, February 4, 2021 10:24 pm ET
by Valentine of Getting 2 milkshakes
Why aren't foot fetishists
instead called pedophiles
and pedos called shark food?
Haiku # 70012, February 4, 2021 9:13 pm ET
by Makes more sense that way, yeah?
What's with the pigeon poo?
Pooping on your statues?
Birds' statutory rape?
Haiku # 70011, February 4, 2021 9:09 pm ET
by budda boom budda bing
Have a sperm donation.
There might be seventeen.
That's more than you deserve.

I might have given more
if I was seventeen.
Like seventeen billion.
Haiku # 70010, February 4, 2021 9:06 pm ET
by 666 -- Deal with it! of It's really not all that evil. Not that I can tell.
Help Wanted/Part Time
Seeking reliable help
with pigeon droppings
Haiku # 70009, February 4, 2021 8:24 pm ET
by Ker Splat of Sidewalk
We appreciate
your seventeen syllable
donation. Thank you.
Haiku # 70008, February 4, 2021 8:18 pm ET
by The Management of Under old willow
I once wrote a haiku.
It was about sudoku.
It was boring as hell.
I threw it down a well.
Play with my Dragonballz, Goku.
Haiku # 70007, February 4, 2021 4:49 pm ET
by Great balls of fire!
The canine gymnast
applies resin to toenails
Stands straight. Licks his ass.
Haiku # 70006, February 4, 2021 3:47 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of Sporting Event
Haiku # 70005, February 4, 2021 2:55 pm ET
by Lucy of ok
Hey! Old Confucian --
Yeah, YOU with the stupid hat . . .
What are you, Chinese ?
Haiku # 70004, February 4, 2021 9:08 am ET
by Venerable Ancestor of Prosperous Son
Haiku 70000 refers to haiku 69849
Haiku # 70003, February 4, 2021 6:26 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Guac Watch
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