Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 243 Days and 77168 Haiku later...

Haiku hookup
Let’s meet behind the old Mall
Wear your Pink Floyd shirt
Haiku # 70013, February 4, 2021 10:24 pm ET
by Valentine of Getting 2 milkshakes
Why aren't foot fetishists
instead called pedophiles
and pedos called shark food?
Haiku # 70012, February 4, 2021 9:13 pm ET
by Makes more sense that way, yeah?
What's with the pigeon poo?
Pooping on your statues?
Birds' statutory rape?
Haiku # 70011, February 4, 2021 9:09 pm ET
by budda boom budda bing
Have a sperm donation.
There might be seventeen.
That's more than you deserve.

I might have given more
if I was seventeen.
Like seventeen billion.
Haiku # 70010, February 4, 2021 9:06 pm ET
by 666 -- Deal with it! of It's really not all that evil. Not that I can tell.
Help Wanted/Part Time
Seeking reliable help
with pigeon droppings
Haiku # 70009, February 4, 2021 8:24 pm ET
by Ker Splat of Sidewalk
We appreciate
your seventeen syllable
donation. Thank you.
Haiku # 70008, February 4, 2021 8:18 pm ET
by The Management of Under old willow
I once wrote a haiku.
It was about sudoku.
It was boring as hell.
I threw it down a well.
Play with my Dragonballz, Goku.
Haiku # 70007, February 4, 2021 4:49 pm ET
by Great balls of fire!
The canine gymnast
applies resin to toenails
Stands straight. Licks his ass.
Haiku # 70006, February 4, 2021 3:47 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of Sporting Event
Haiku # 70005, February 4, 2021 2:55 pm ET
by Lucy of ok
Hey! Old Confucian --
Yeah, YOU with the stupid hat . . .
What are you, Chinese ?
Haiku # 70004, February 4, 2021 9:08 am ET
by Venerable Ancestor of Prosperous Son
Haiku 70000 refers to haiku 69849
Haiku # 70003, February 4, 2021 6:26 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Guac Watch
Tonight's Assignment
If God made you a racehorse
what would your name be?
Haiku # 70001, February 4, 2021 4:22 am ET
by Endless Thunder Hallucination of Paddock
Guacamole, sir?
Freshly made at your table

Vegetable discharge
Goodyear blimp floats overhead
Now the halftime show

Beyonce upchucks
in the mouth of Bruno Mars!
No deflated balls
Haiku # 70000, February 4, 2021 4:11 am ET
by Howard Cosell of Ghoul Form
Who's in the Super Bowl?
What's in the toilet bowl.
Fritoes in the chip bowl.
Haiku # 69999, February 4, 2021 3:20 am ET
by Let's go bowling.
Refering to South Park.
You've really won my heart.
Turpentine Valentine.
Haiku # 69998, February 4, 2021 3:16 am ET
by Go Broncos! of or whoever. I don't care.
Get your fried assholes!
Hot Beer Battered Fried Assholes!
Come on you Assholes!
Haiku # 69997, February 4, 2021 3:02 am ET
by D. jected of Haiku Stadium
It's incredible
I think I just conjured you
to write a poem
Haiku # 69996, February 4, 2021 2:29 am ET
by R. U. Agenie? of Holding Bottle
Haiku Stadium
Stands filled with cardboard cutouts
That's what this is like
Haiku # 69995, February 4, 2021 2:26 am ET
by D. jected
Sounds like calamari.
Battered, fried, serve with beer.
Assholes eating assjoles.
Haiku # 69994, February 4, 2021 2:19 am ET
by Sphincter cannibals from outer space!
A bag of assholes
They look like elastic bands
but they are assholes
Haiku # 69993, February 3, 2021 11:32 pm ET
by Baked not Fried of As seen on Shark Tank
I saw your beaver
yesterday at Gobbler’s Knob
Where was the groundhog?
Haiku # 69992, February 3, 2021 11:28 pm ET
by Gobbler of Knob
Cats in outer space
will need specialized helmets
for their pointy ears
Haiku # 69991, February 3, 2021 11:12 pm ET
by gatita estrella of Tuna fish Rocket
I want to order
some of those buckets for you
So you’ll be prepared
Haiku # 69989, February 3, 2021 8:44 pm ET
by Going to Hell in a bucket of Enjoying the ride
You only need a smidgen
Here, sit in this chair
Haiku # 69988, February 3, 2021 8:42 pm ET
by Reddy Kilowatt of Bzzzzzzzzt Bzzzzzzzt Zap
Do you wanna "finish"
in the Finnish sauna
with flora and fauna?
Haiku # 69986, February 3, 2021 5:46 pm ET
by Thank you. Come again!
I prefer the cheaper
Ho Hos 'cause my hose knows.
For ho's it grows and grows.

Dead prostitute in trunk?
Just run over a skunk
to well disguise the smell.

But bleach not useful.
You need experience.
Maybe muriatic.

And a large plastic drum
with a tight fitting lid.
Speaking of tight, she did.
Haiku # 69985, February 3, 2021 5:43 pm ET
by If you need someone to manage your CIA torture chamber of course, just let me know.
The Finnish sauna
You may see wrinkled ding dongs
You might enjoy it
Haiku # 69984, February 3, 2021 5:23 pm ET
by Come to Finland of Sauna
Found your To Do List
Zip ties, bleach, shovel
You’re so organized
Haiku # 69983, February 3, 2021 5:19 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of Nearby
Checking under hens
to see if they laid an egg
gave him a boner

Adjusting his pants
The farmer contemplated
the age old question
Haiku # 69982, February 3, 2021 5:09 pm ET
by The Farmer (Al Bumen) came first of All cooped up
Jim Bakker’s End Times Buckets
for Food and Feces
Haiku # 69980, February 3, 2021 4:38 pm ET
by A. Pocalypse of Right Here Right Now
Running my fingers
over your nearly bald head
and Frankenstein bolts
Haiku # 69979, February 3, 2021 4:25 pm ET
by I love the Monster of this website made you
"If I say it's safe to
surf this beach, Captain, then
it's safe to surf this beach!"
Haiku # 69978, February 3, 2021 3:52 pm ET
by Lieutenant Colonel Kilgore
Never been to Luzon.
Let me just say "Charlie
don't surf!" You get me now?
Haiku # 69977, February 3, 2021 3:44 pm ET
by Great movie.
Sometimes I hold my breath.
But only when I fart.
Or maybe muff diving.
Haiku # 69976, February 3, 2021 3:40 pm ET
by Is that a piece of balot?!
Will six six six haiku
summon up a demon
or open a wormhole?
Haiku # 69975, February 3, 2021 3:35 pm ET
by We'll see... but I'm not holding my breath.
Hold on a minute now...
I am damn nearly bald.
Hair dresser my fat ass.
Haiku # 69974, February 3, 2021 3:29 pm ET
by darth's angry head
Bad Haiku News.

Pink Floyd has new member.
Gets rid of Syd Barrett.
Some guy name Dave Gilmour.

check it out here:
Haiku # 69973, February 3, 2021 3:26 pm ET
by In other news, my farts often smell bad.
It's supposed to be bad.
Maybe a nice puke green.
And old dot matrix font.

Maybe some pop-up ads.
Like maybe for sex chat.
Or malware installers.

It can always be worse.
But I'm happy right now.
Listening to Pink Floyd.
Haiku # 69972, February 3, 2021 3:23 pm ET
by Laughing like a madman but I can't tell you why.
Will this site ever be good again like it was?
Does Janice like it better now?
Haiku # 69971, February 3, 2021 12:08 pm ET
by Darth's Hairdresser's Boyfriend of Luzon
Ozzyman's my hero.
Boob, butts, animal fights,
and destination F.
Haiku # 69970, February 3, 2021 7:40 am ET
by What more could you want?
I have to be evil.
Sorry, that's my new rule.
Brimstone and demons wait.
Haiku # 69969, February 3, 2021 7:34 am ET
by We gonna smoke a fat blunt.
How many licks does
it take take to get to the center
of my asshole?
Haiku # 69968, February 3, 2021 7:30 am ET
by one... two... three (crunch) of Watch the peanuts.
How long would it take
you to fill up a bucket
with your own feces?
Haiku # 69967, February 3, 2021 4:22 am ET
by Fly of Fly Strip
Tonight’s Assignment
The Absolute Very Best
of Rev. Jim Bakker
Haiku # 69966, February 3, 2021 1:46 am ET
by Look up on YouTube of By Vic Berger
I just got some info.
It made me poop myself.
My laugh heard down the block.
Haiku # 69965, February 3, 2021 12:40 am ET
by I love criminals. They are soooo funny.
Caffeine seizures are fun.
But not the cramps they cause.
I'm just a gramps with cramps.
Haiku # 69964, February 2, 2021 8:02 pm ET
by Eff it, time to work. of Y'all be some lazy mo fos.
After weeks of potty training my toilet was able to roll over, speak, and jump through hoops.
Haiku # 69963, February 2, 2021 7:15 pm ET
by Am I doing it right?
Empaths on the other hand have a heightened sense of smell as well as taste. Hannibal Lecter was a sociopath, not a psychopath. There is a great difference between the two. Sociopaths are more "made into monsters" while pscychopaths are born into their role, are very greedy and self-centered, as well as manipulative. But they also often have lower than average IQ.
They also tend to be mediocre at best in everything they do. Such as baking.
The only thing they do well is huring others. Destroying them emotionally or physically. The world is better off without such individuals.
Haiku # 69962, February 2, 2021 7:12 pm ET
by How many psychos do you know. Approximately only 1% of the population falls in this category. of Two percent are sociopaths. They should go to war with each other.
I don't like to submit
unless being kinky.
Why are you so evil?
What made you a monster?
Was it your mom or dad?
Your cousin that raped you?
And that's okay for you?
It need not be like this.
Haiku # 69961, February 2, 2021 7:02 pm ET
by Psychopaths often have poor sense of smell. of That's a true fact! Now you know.
More than oxygen,
Bad haiku necessary.
I will die without.
Haiku # 69960, February 2, 2021 6:57 pm ET
by I'm serious!
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