Bashō says something unhelpful
Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
29 Years, 56 Days and 78008 Haiku later...
Will this site ever be good again like it was?
Does Janice like it better now?
Haiku # 69971 February 3, 2021 12:08 pm ET
by Darth's Hairdresser's Boyfriend of Luzon
Ozzyman's my hero.
Boob, butts, animal fights,
and destination F.
Haiku # 69970 February 3, 2021 7:40 am ET
by What more could you want?
I have to be evil.
Sorry, that's my new rule.
Brimstone and demons wait.
Haiku # 69969 February 3, 2021 7:34 am ET
by We gonna smoke a fat blunt.
How many licks does
it take take to get to the center
of my asshole?
Haiku # 69968 February 3, 2021 7:30 am ET
by one... two... three (crunch) of Watch the peanuts.
How long would it take
you to fill up a bucket
with your own feces?
Haiku # 69967 February 3, 2021 4:22 am ET
by Fly of Fly Strip
Tonight’s Assignment
The Absolute Very Best
of Rev. Jim Bakker
Haiku # 69966 February 3, 2021 1:46 am ET
by Look up on YouTube of By Vic Berger
I just got some info.
It made me poop myself.
My laugh heard down the block.
Haiku # 69965 February 3, 2021 12:40 am ET
by I love criminals. They are soooo funny.
Caffeine seizures are fun.
But not the cramps they cause.
I'm just a gramps with cramps.
Haiku # 69964 February 2, 2021 8:02 pm ET
by Eff it, time to work. of Y'all be some lazy mo fos.
After weeks of potty training my toilet was able to roll over, speak, and jump through hoops.
Haiku # 69963 February 2, 2021 7:15 pm ET
by Am I doing it right?
Empaths on the other hand have a heightened sense of smell as well as taste. Hannibal Lecter was a sociopath, not a psychopath. There is a great difference between the two. Sociopaths are more "made into monsters" while pscychopaths are born into their role, are very greedy and self-centered, as well as manipulative. But they also often have lower than average IQ.
They also tend to be mediocre at best in everything they do. Such as baking.
The only thing they do well is huring others. Destroying them emotionally or physically. The world is better off without such individuals.
Haiku # 69962 February 2, 2021 7:12 pm ET
by How many psychos do you know. Approximately only 1% of the population falls in this category. of Two percent are sociopaths. They should go to war with each other.
I don't like to submit
unless being kinky.
Why are you so evil?
What made you a monster?
Was it your mom or dad?
Your cousin that raped you?
And that's okay for you?
It need not be like this.
Haiku # 69961 February 2, 2021 7:02 pm ET
by Psychopaths often have poor sense of smell. of That's a true fact! Now you know.
More than oxygen,
Bad haiku necessary.
I will die without.
Haiku # 69960 February 2, 2021 6:57 pm ET
by I'm serious!
Here's my hand, now shake it.
Don't give me a "man hug".
Don't say "Love you, brother."
Haiku # 69959 February 2, 2021 6:45 pm ET
by Manly manners.
I farted on the bus.
Complete satisfaction.
Watching them suck it in.
Haiku # 69958 February 2, 2021 6:41 pm ET
by Bubbas Gas and Welding Supplies.
Flavored coffee is gay.
I'm having a cup of
"the men I did last spring".
Haiku # 69957 February 2, 2021 6:38 pm ET
by Tastes like cheap caramel apples. of Eff it -- wakes me up and that's what counts.
We need some nude haiku.
So you can see my ass.
Tell me how fat it is.
Haiku # 69956 February 2, 2021 6:35 pm ET
by No denying it.
Jesus sends his regards.
He enjoys his holy hands.
Great for doing magic tricks.
Haiku # 69955 February 2, 2021 6:33 pm ET
by He won't be back any time soon. Too busy with the rest of the universe. of Book your tickets ahead of time, just to be safe.
Racism's here to stay.
Better get used to it.
You can thank Donald Trump.
Haiku # 69954 February 2, 2021 2:36 pm ET
by God, I hate Eskimoes! of And Pygmies!
Do you have a stiffie??
Just 'cause I said hentai?
You are such a pervert!
Haiku # 69953 February 2, 2021 1:52 pm ET
by Octopus demon. of Come see my garden in the shade.
Molecularity.
Shit, that was six syllables.
I guess I'm on a roll.

Your are on a biscuit.
And so I will eat you.
Spectrophotometry.
Haiku # 69952 February 2, 2021 1:47 pm ET
by 666 haiku revolution of Kind of like hentai, but difficult to wank to.
Chicken and egg rice.
Cheeseburger with a milk shake.
You and your children.
Haiku # 69951 February 2, 2021 8:45 am ET
by De-lish! of Albert Fish
Has covid robbed me?
I thought I'd kill you myself.
Well this isn't fair!
Haiku # 69950 February 2, 2021 7:20 am ET
by Bored but not in the house. of Parking boogers on a park bench.
Has everyone died?
I mean, if so, that's okay.
Where's my Vaseline?
Haiku # 69949 February 2, 2021 7:14 am ET
by Zombie orgy. of And you're invited
I hope you're okay.
You better not die on me.
Life would be empty.
Haiku # 69948 February 2, 2021 3:30 am ET
by Like my balls last night.
Wond'ring aloud
How we feel today
Last night sipped the sunset
My hand in her hair

We are our own saviours
As we start
Both our hearts
Beating life
Into each other

Wond'ring aloud
Will the years treat us well?
As she floats in the kitchen
I'm tasting the smell
Of toast as the butter runs
Then she comes
Spilling crumbs
On the bed
And I shake my head

And it's only the giving
That makes you
What you are
Haiku # 69947 February 1, 2021 9:11 pm ET
by living in the past of 1977 or thereabouts
Bad Haiku News.

We should take a break
away from these bad haiku
and post naked pics.
Haiku # 69946 February 1, 2021 9:08 pm ET
by Or something.
The breakfast was bland.
Bland even for a breakfast.
Pussy would be nice.
Haiku # 69945 February 1, 2021 8:01 pm ET
by Spice up your waffles!
Why are you like this?
Did I rip your life apart?
Only lies from you!
Haiku # 69944 February 1, 2021 7:08 pm ET
by Drama Queen of Laundomat next to the bar.
Have you ever played
South Park: The Fractured But Whole?
Your farts can destroy!
Haiku # 69943 February 1, 2021 6:02 pm ET
by I don't play video games, but that might be fun. of Not buying a console for it though.
Crocodile cootchie.
I've heard great things about it.
Dare you even try?
Haiku # 69942 February 1, 2021 12:42 pm ET
by My name is Steve Irwin, and I do NOT approve this message. of The Great Beyond.
Transcendent waffle.
Effervescent cuddle pool.
Envelops nethers.
Haiku # 69941 February 1, 2021 12:39 pm ET
by Hither, thither, and yon. of YAWN
Bad high-cootchie flash

Verse eats rotten dog.
Has to go to hospital.
Then dies from covid.
Haiku # 69940 February 1, 2021 9:49 am ET
by How many misdiagnosed deaths do you think there are? of Re-hearse terse dead verse
Bad Haiku News Flash.

Filippino man
eats the dog that ate dog poop
from dog puke puke verse.

Re-regurgitate
I know that is a new word.
That is what it ate.

Verse-ate-ility.
The Flipo man does back flips.
Loves that roasted dog.
Haiku # 69939 February 1, 2021 8:29 am ET
by I'm whore-able.
Bad Haiku News

Dog eats rotten verse.
Vomits it up on carpet.
Then eats it again.

When it poops it out
it's way better than before.
Other dogs eat it.
Haiku # 69938 February 1, 2021 8:21 am ET
by Who needs Alpo. of Just recycle.
Fighter jet for sale.
Some maintenance required.
Complete with two nukes.
Haiku # 69937 February 1, 2021 2:52 am ET
by Tactical of course. of $20M obo
Schlong in a waffle.
Extra syrup and butter.
Ribbed for her pleasure.
Haiku # 69936 February 1, 2021 2:49 am ET
by But all she wants is cash.
God damn smell checker.
Sniff my ass and change my undies.
Even if they're clean.
Haiku # 69935 February 1, 2021 2:46 am ET
by Commando or nude. of Spell checkers suck also.
Shopping malls are dead.
They have not one reach of life.
Zombie flick settings.
Haiku # 69934 February 1, 2021 2:40 am ET
by Makes sense
Who here remembers
tiger butthole Chinese wine.
You'll take a fierce shit.
Haiku # 69933 February 1, 2021 1:40 am ET
by Chinese medicine is stupid! of Endangered so you can take a dump.
Whoring isn't wrong.
It just depends on the price.
Twenty buck sample.

Okay, I am hooked.
And I guess you're the hooked.
Return customer.
Haiku # 69932 February 1, 2021 1:35 am ET
by Thank you, please come again.
Who here remembers
the tiger butter pancakes.
Little black Sambo.
Haiku # 69931 January 31, 2021 5:18 am ET
by Yes, I am old.
Murder isn't wrong.
It just depends who it is.
You, for example.
Haiku # 69930 January 31, 2021 3:05 am ET
by The person wanting your wallet.
Pancakes are pointless.
Waffles are so much better.
Unless you're lazy.
Haiku # 69929 January 30, 2021 11:56 pm ET
by Cappuccino you know.
One last little thing.
All I need now is coffee
Then I'll be all set.
Haiku # 69928 January 30, 2021 11:53 pm ET
by Good to go. For at least an hour. of Old and addicted.
I went to IHOP.
And ordered some twat waffles.
Got escorted out.

That wasn't enough.
So called an escort service.
Got escorted in.
Haiku # 69927 January 30, 2021 11:51 pm ET
by And got my twat waffles! of Real butter and maple syrup.
I miss the small boat.
But alas no antidote
Except to eat goat
Haiku # 69926 January 30, 2021 8:04 pm ET
by Jack the Zipper of Winning one for the Gipper
No, there's only one.
I forgot my old password.
Now it's just hugetwat.
Haiku # 69925 January 30, 2021 7:43 pm ET
by Don't tell anyone.
I miss the Great Wave.
(Sobbing, mucus flow, stay brave.)
That pic was my fave...
Haiku # 69924 January 30, 2021 1:28 pm ET
by Fishing Village of Rape and Pillage
Strange how a font change
And the lack of the Great Wave
Detract from the fun.
Haiku # 69923 January 30, 2021 12:36 pm ET
by Hokusai of Hokus Pokusai
Darthfigpucker 2?
So there's more than one of You?
Shit, what shall we do?
Haiku # 69922 January 30, 2021 9:50 am ET
by Anonymous pooper
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