Bashō says something unhelpful
Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
29 Years, 55 Days and 78007 Haiku later...
God damn smell checker.
Sniff my ass and change my undies.
Even if they're clean.
Haiku # 69935 February 1, 2021 2:46 am ET
by Commando or nude. of Spell checkers suck also.
Shopping malls are dead.
They have not one reach of life.
Zombie flick settings.
Haiku # 69934 February 1, 2021 2:40 am ET
by Makes sense
Who here remembers
tiger butthole Chinese wine.
You'll take a fierce shit.
Haiku # 69933 February 1, 2021 1:40 am ET
by Chinese medicine is stupid! of Endangered so you can take a dump.
Whoring isn't wrong.
It just depends on the price.
Twenty buck sample.

Okay, I am hooked.
And I guess you're the hooked.
Return customer.
Haiku # 69932 February 1, 2021 1:35 am ET
by Thank you, please come again.
Who here remembers
the tiger butter pancakes.
Little black Sambo.
Haiku # 69931 January 31, 2021 5:18 am ET
by Yes, I am old.
Murder isn't wrong.
It just depends who it is.
You, for example.
Haiku # 69930 January 31, 2021 3:05 am ET
by The person wanting your wallet.
Pancakes are pointless.
Waffles are so much better.
Unless you're lazy.
Haiku # 69929 January 30, 2021 11:56 pm ET
by Cappuccino you know.
One last little thing.
All I need now is coffee
Then I'll be all set.
Haiku # 69928 January 30, 2021 11:53 pm ET
by Good to go. For at least an hour. of Old and addicted.
I went to IHOP.
And ordered some twat waffles.
Got escorted out.

That wasn't enough.
So called an escort service.
Got escorted in.
Haiku # 69927 January 30, 2021 11:51 pm ET
by And got my twat waffles! of Real butter and maple syrup.
I miss the small boat.
But alas no antidote
Except to eat goat
Haiku # 69926 January 30, 2021 8:04 pm ET
by Jack the Zipper of Winning one for the Gipper
No, there's only one.
I forgot my old password.
Now it's just hugetwat.
Haiku # 69925 January 30, 2021 7:43 pm ET
by Don't tell anyone.
I miss the Great Wave.
(Sobbing, mucus flow, stay brave.)
That pic was my fave...
Haiku # 69924 January 30, 2021 1:28 pm ET
by Fishing Village of Rape and Pillage
Strange how a font change
And the lack of the Great Wave
Detract from the fun.
Haiku # 69923 January 30, 2021 12:36 pm ET
by Hokusai of Hokus Pokusai
Darthfigpucker 2?
So there's more than one of You?
Shit, what shall we do?
Haiku # 69922 January 30, 2021 9:50 am ET
by Anonymous pooper
At last we shall reveal ourselves to the Jedi. At last we shall have revenge. Or something along those lines.
Haiku # 69921 January 30, 2021 3:00 am ET
by Or maybe we could have cake. of Cake is nice too.
Just email me.
Darthfigpucker2@g
mail dot com. Cool?
Haiku # 69920 January 29, 2021 11:36 pm ET
by Tell me who you are. of I am no one special.
A man of the cloth
Unravel the mystery
Just who are you, Darth?
Haiku # 69919 January 29, 2021 11:29 pm ET
by The naughty one of Holy Order of Cloistered Haiku Nuns
I can't help but think
You are obsessed with me
And my purloined cheese.
Haiku # 69918 January 29, 2021 9:51 pm ET
by And purloined loin cheese. of Smell my cheese cloth!
The Spring Collection
Casual Cannibal Cool
by Darth Figpucker

Menswear featuring:
Extra large pockets for cheese
you might not pay for
Haiku # 69917 January 29, 2021 9:10 pm ET
by Genitalmens’ Quarterly of Newsstand
That would be Noah
As in No...ah..dinosaurs
on the Ark. They stinx.
Haiku # 69916 January 29, 2021 8:50 pm ET
by Starkittensaurus of Pacific Northwest
The man in the boat.
Riding on the salty waves.
Honest stink of fish.
Haiku # 69915 January 29, 2021 6:46 pm ET
by Happy now?
*you AND I... fucking typos.
Haiku # 69914 January 29, 2021 6:40 pm ET
by blahblahblah
Haiku write themselves.
You are I are just doorways
for haiku to be.
Haiku # 69913 January 29, 2021 6:39 pm ET
by I'm totally joking. of Yeah, it was me, I did it.
Go back to this one:
Sixty-nine eight sixty-three.
(VERY good haiku)
Haiku # 69912 January 29, 2021 6:05 pm ET
by It Even Rhymes of Who Wrote It ?
If you have covid,
go spit at things at Walmart;
maybe door handles.
Haiku # 69911 January 29, 2021 10:49 am ET
by Sharing is Caring. of Heal the Earth - Kill the Humans!
Hambone, provolone
Blueberry scone. piss and moan
Cyclone xylophone
Haiku # 69910 January 29, 2021 9:05 am ET
by Zen koan of Microphone
prova
Haiku # 69909 January 29, 2021 7:55 am ET
by Lucy
Don’t get headaches much
Exploding head of Covid
Help yourself to germs
Haiku # 69908 January 29, 2021 4:28 am ET
by noticer of exploding heads of right here
Well, I fucked myself
back in nineteen eighty eight.
Like Buffalo Bill.
Haiku # 69907 January 29, 2021 3:57 am ET
by No, it wasn't good for me too.
I was supposed to
interview him but didn’t
after I got that
Haiku # 69906 January 29, 2021 2:05 am ET
by At the time, he was working of on a laundry delivery truck in Hooksett, NH
Are you implying
that you fucked GG Allin?
He got it all in?
Haiku # 69905 January 29, 2021 1:29 am ET
by You're GG's bastard child's mom?!
When I was eighteen
He mailed me a big package
and the package leaked
Haiku # 69904 January 29, 2021 12:47 am ET
by The post office wrapped it in plastic of Undisclosed 1985 mail call
GG "singing" the
quadratic formula would...
be interesting.
Haiku # 69903 January 29, 2021 12:39 am ET
by x equals negative b plus or minus the square root of b squared minus four a c, all over 2 a. of Add explicitives where needed or wanted.
What would be real hot
Yell math formulas and swear
like G.G. Allin
Haiku # 69902 January 29, 2021 12:16 am ET
by Franconia Notch of New Hampshire
Box and wisker plots
suck turds out of my sphincter.
Histograms more so.
Haiku # 69901 January 28, 2021 11:22 pm ET
by Fuck statistics. Monkey math! Pie charts are for stooges. of I'll say it again. Fuck statistics.
Prove non-trivial
zeros of zeta function
have real part one-half.
Haiku # 69900 January 28, 2021 11:18 pm ET
by Okay! I think that's it. of It doesn't matter where I am... it's nowhere special.
No, I fuckd that up.
It should say "real part" somewhere.
But, lo, it does not.
Haiku # 69899 January 28, 2021 11:16 pm ET
by poo-poo
Prove non-trivial
zeros of zeta function
equal to one-half.
Haiku # 69898 January 28, 2021 11:08 pm ET
by Raymond's high on pot the ass.
All cats have 9 lives
This kitten has double paws
Box and Whisker plot
Haiku # 69897 January 28, 2021 10:46 pm ET
by Basic Instinct of Primal Scream
To a computer
all numbers are dirty words,
basic and primal.
Haiku # 69896 January 28, 2021 10:40 pm ET
by That is sooo deep!.. and stinky! of Like my ex.
A beautiful mind
All those numbers in that brain
All those dirty words
Haiku # 69895 January 28, 2021 10:36 pm ET
by Solution of To all your problems
Here's a math problem.
Prove that the real part of the non-trivial zeros of the zeta function is equal to 1/2.
Haiku # 69894 January 28, 2021 10:21 pm ET
by Your prize is 5 kilos of rice, and 4 balot eggs.
I do not wear pants.
I only wear leather shorts.
To embarrass kids.
Haiku # 69893 January 28, 2021 10:15 pm ET
by Bare assed embarrassed. Cause that's what dads are for. of Goes well w/ Rush Limbaugh and Alex Jones t-shirts.
A happy ending
is only thirteen dollars
plus two dollar tip.

One thousand dollars,
I'd call that a sad ending.
I'll run out the door.
Haiku # 69892 January 28, 2021 10:10 pm ET
by Catch me if you can! of Customer *service* complaint office.
Here’s a math problem
If x is equal to 2
What will make him spew?
Haiku # 69891 January 28, 2021 9:37 pm ET
by B. M. Vigil of Washroom, Canada
Try a yoga pose
Or insert a garden hose
You’ll smell like a rose
Haiku # 69890 January 28, 2021 9:13 pm ET
by U. Candoit of Brownstone (Flushing, NY vicinity)
You are what you eat
If you want to pass a log
Become one with tree
Haiku # 69889 January 28, 2021 9:07 pm ET
by Leif Garrett of Dancing
Poets, Kuntrymen
Direct our laser focus
To poor Darth’s buttocks

Incite a movement
Nay, A true insurrection
in his sagging pants
Haiku # 69888 January 28, 2021 9:01 pm ET
by Erection Inciter of Guilty as charged ($1,ooo with happy ending, at least for me)
Anybody care?!

XFart Killed XLax... and the dog.
Haiku # 69887 January 28, 2021 9:01 pm ET
by I found a magic farting seed. of You eat just a few and you'll make huge farts!
Anybody home? :)

XEvil 4.0 killed Bitcoin!

XEvil.Net
Haiku # 69886 January 28, 2021 8:50 pm ET
by LindaSwich of Morocco
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