All cats have 9 lives
This kitten has double paws
Box and Whisker plot
by Basic Instinct of Primal Scream
To a computer
all numbers are dirty words,
basic and primal.
by That is sooo deep!.. and stinky! of Like my ex.
A beautiful mind
All those numbers in that brain
All those dirty words
by Solution of To all your problems
Here's a math problem.
Prove that the real part of the non-trivial zeros of the zeta function is equal to 1/2.
by Your prize is 5 kilos of rice, and 4 balot eggs.
I do not wear pants.
I only wear leather shorts.
To embarrass kids.
by Bare assed embarrassed. Cause that's what dads are for. of Goes well w/ Rush Limbaugh and Alex Jones t-shirts.
A happy ending
is only thirteen dollars
plus two dollar tip.
One thousand dollars,
I'd call that a sad ending.
I'll run out the door.
by Catch me if you can! of Customer *service* complaint office.
Here’s a math problem
If x is equal to 2
What will make him spew?
by B. M. Vigil of Washroom, Canada
Try a yoga pose
Or insert a garden hose
You’ll smell like a rose
by U. Candoit of Brownstone (Flushing, NY vicinity)
You are what you eat
If you want to pass a log
Become one with tree
by Leif Garrett of Dancing
Poets, Kuntrymen
Direct our laser focus
To poor Darth’s buttocks
Incite a movement
Nay, A true insurrection
in his sagging pants
by Erection Inciter of Guilty as charged ($1,ooo with happy ending, at least for me)
Anybody care?!
XFart Killed XLax... and the dog.
by I found a magic farting seed. of You eat just a few and you'll make huge farts!
Anybody home? :)
XEvil 4.0 killed Bitcoin!
XEvil.Net
by LindaSwich of Morocco
Been coughing up blood?
Tell everyone it's covid.
You smoke too much crack.
by And the ugly truth come out. of Just like my ugly penis.
I need some new shit.
Wake up, you motherfuckers!
Submit some poems!
by NOW! of Haiku are needed for a satisfactory bowel movement.
Flaky cunt biscuits.
Choco shugar glazed queef puffs.
Crispy twat waffles.
by Breakfast in Thailand of I need one of those Concord jets.
Flying in the sky,
is that a pterodactyl?
Will they eat his dog?
by
Where is my precioussss????
The hobbitses stole it from us!
Sneaky little theives!
by Smeagol Golum of Somewhere outside Mordor eating a live fish.
Cement mix butt plug
Discrete and comfortable
unless you sit down
by I. M. Sorass of Standing Room Only
I should kill myself.
I'm watching Lord of the Rings.
That's how low I've sunk.
by Fuck it, it's raining a billion buckets of piss out there.
Enrich your noodle.
You should always ask Google.
Knows all; never lies.
by While you're at it, look up blue waffles.
What’s a reach around?
by Anonymous Poet
How ‘bout a turd font
Haiku plops in a toilet
with a flushing sound
by Regular Haiku Poet of Outhouse
We need a font here
that looks like snow piss letters
so we can eat them.
by Lemonade sno-cones!
Since the font changed
the haiku is even worse
Who can explain this?
by Haiku Poet of Under Old Willow
Green bean casserole
Someone threw it in the field
Green Giant’s kaka
by Ho Ho Ho of Green Giant
Is it possible
Mad Dog 20/20 sales
decreased from its name?
Or for that matter,
how about Corona beer?
They're still going strong.
The reason is that
alcoholics are die hards.
Loyal to the end.
by Praise Jesus, God of Wine. of And you thought it was Bacchus.
Have you ever tried
pairing expensive cheeses
with cheap ghetto wines?
by It just doesn't work. of ... or does it? I've never tried!
Bob Carny Barker
was never truly alive.
Television ghoul.
by His penis is robotic. of Circuitry outdated.
Eating them, not sure.
But putting them in one's ass,
you'll live forever.
by Water to wine, Jewsy juice. of Benevolent vampire, accused of being a zombie.
Someone here must know
How long can a person live
eating just raisins?
by Raisin Eater of Here for the time being
I thought he was dead
Bob Barker is still living
and so is his dink
by Runner up of Showcase Showdown
Are you a victim.
Or just an attention whore?
We see what you are.
by Liar, theif, murderer. of Try sky diving.
All it takes is one.
From nose to brain; you're insane.
Ultrasound monster.
by I told you to swallow!
The mathematician
with sticky calculator
figures his sperm count
by Contortionist Mathematician of On top of bed
Cock, schlong, penis, dink.
We should talk pussy, I think.
Cunt, twat, queefs that stink.
by Become the change you want to see. of Or smell. Or taste.
They’ll never catch me!
Green Giant running amuck
Who wants some green dink?
by Jolly Green Giant Ho Ho Ho! of Outstanding in my field
He was so repressed
he used a strap-on dildo
to bang his Fleshlight.
by And was still worried about HIV! of Mom's basement orgy pit for stuffed animals. *Stuffed*. Get it?
You want raw sugar
I’m sitting behind you, Darth
It’s not a mirage
by B. Myvalentine of Undisclosed Coffee Shop
White sugar's so harsh.
Why wasn't there raw sugar
when I was a lad?
by One of the few things that have improved. of Coffee shop, pretending I am somewhere else.
Worm often gets slapped.
Here's a better solution:
Learn how to swallow.
by There's ppl starving in Africa! of Kenyan coffee plantation, laughing at the peasants.
Sounds like politics.
I'll be the one on bottom.
Open mouth. Enjoy.
by Sucks being poor. of Whole Foods grocery, shoplifting the fine cheeses.
Human Pyramid
Now they’re all taking a shit
Upload to YouTube
by Plastered with shit of Caked with shit
One eyed wonder worm
Why do you spit in my face?
Worm, you need a slap
by Bitchlips of Worm Slappery
Please phrase your boner
in the form of a question.
No blowjob for you.
by What is a one-eyed wonder worm?
Is that a scene from
King Kong vs. Godzilla?
Hellicopter spooged.
by Hellicopter downed, but it was a soft landing.
Alex Trebek’s ghost
visiting you in your dreams
Don’t touch his boner!!
by Game Show Pervert of Glued to the TV
I've a craving for
some asparagus cream sauce
with Jersey Blue cheese.
by He blew blue.
Helicopters whirr
Green Giant bolts through farm fields
Jacking himself off
by KTLA News of On the scene
Ejaculation
You won’t want guacamole
in the near future
by Somebody of Do something about this
Green Giant, aroused
Butt fucks migrant workers
with his green ding dong
by Giant Gazette of California, USA
