I need some new shit.
Wake up, you motherfuckers!
Submit some poems!
by NOW! of Haiku are needed for a satisfactory bowel movement.
Flaky cunt biscuits.
Choco shugar glazed queef puffs.
Crispy twat waffles.
by Breakfast in Thailand of I need one of those Concord jets.
Flying in the sky,
is that a pterodactyl?
Will they eat his dog?
by
Where is my precioussss????
The hobbitses stole it from us!
Sneaky little theives!
by Smeagol Golum of Somewhere outside Mordor eating a live fish.
Cement mix butt plug
Discrete and comfortable
unless you sit down
by I. M. Sorass of Standing Room Only
I should kill myself.
I'm watching Lord of the Rings.
That's how low I've sunk.
by Fuck it, it's raining a billion buckets of piss out there.
Enrich your noodle.
You should always ask Google.
Knows all; never lies.
by While you're at it, look up blue waffles.
What’s a reach around?
by Anonymous Poet
How ‘bout a turd font
Haiku plops in a toilet
with a flushing sound
by Regular Haiku Poet of Outhouse
We need a font here
that looks like snow piss letters
so we can eat them.
by Lemonade sno-cones!
Since the font changed
the haiku is even worse
Who can explain this?
by Haiku Poet of Under Old Willow
Green bean casserole
Someone threw it in the field
Green Giant’s kaka
by Ho Ho Ho of Green Giant
Is it possible
Mad Dog 20/20 sales
decreased from its name?
Or for that matter,
how about Corona beer?
They're still going strong.
The reason is that
alcoholics are die hards.
Loyal to the end.
by Praise Jesus, God of Wine. of And you thought it was Bacchus.
Have you ever tried
pairing expensive cheeses
with cheap ghetto wines?
by It just doesn't work. of ... or does it? I've never tried!
Bob Carny Barker
was never truly alive.
Television ghoul.
by His penis is robotic. of Circuitry outdated.
Eating them, not sure.
But putting them in one's ass,
you'll live forever.
by Water to wine, Jewsy juice. of Benevolent vampire, accused of being a zombie.
Someone here must know
How long can a person live
eating just raisins?
by Raisin Eater of Here for the time being
I thought he was dead
Bob Barker is still living
and so is his dink
by Runner up of Showcase Showdown
Are you a victim.
Or just an attention whore?
We see what you are.
by Liar, theif, murderer. of Try sky diving.
All it takes is one.
From nose to brain; you're insane.
Ultrasound monster.
by I told you to swallow!
The mathematician
with sticky calculator
figures his sperm count
by Contortionist Mathematician of On top of bed
Cock, schlong, penis, dink.
We should talk pussy, I think.
Cunt, twat, queefs that stink.
by Become the change you want to see. of Or smell. Or taste.
They’ll never catch me!
Green Giant running amuck
Who wants some green dink?
by Jolly Green Giant Ho Ho Ho! of Outstanding in my field
He was so repressed
he used a strap-on dildo
to bang his Fleshlight.
by And was still worried about HIV! of Mom's basement orgy pit for stuffed animals. *Stuffed*. Get it?
You want raw sugar
I’m sitting behind you, Darth
It’s not a mirage
by B. Myvalentine of Undisclosed Coffee Shop
White sugar's so harsh.
Why wasn't there raw sugar
when I was a lad?
by One of the few things that have improved. of Coffee shop, pretending I am somewhere else.
Worm often gets slapped.
Here's a better solution:
Learn how to swallow.
by There's ppl starving in Africa! of Kenyan coffee plantation, laughing at the peasants.
Sounds like politics.
I'll be the one on bottom.
Open mouth. Enjoy.
by Sucks being poor. of Whole Foods grocery, shoplifting the fine cheeses.
Human Pyramid
Now they’re all taking a shit
Upload to YouTube
by Plastered with shit of Caked with shit
One eyed wonder worm
Why do you spit in my face?
Worm, you need a slap
by Bitchlips of Worm Slappery
Please phrase your boner
in the form of a question.
No blowjob for you.
by What is a one-eyed wonder worm?
Is that a scene from
King Kong vs. Godzilla?
Hellicopter spooged.
by Hellicopter downed, but it was a soft landing.
Alex Trebek’s ghost
visiting you in your dreams
Don’t touch his boner!!
by Game Show Pervert of Glued to the TV
I've a craving for
some asparagus cream sauce
with Jersey Blue cheese.
by He blew blue.
Helicopters whirr
Green Giant bolts through farm fields
Jacking himself off
by KTLA News of On the scene
Ejaculation
You won’t want guacamole
in the near future
by Somebody of Do something about this
Green Giant, aroused
Butt fucks migrant workers
with his green ding dong
by Giant Gazette of California, USA
Green green penis green
Greenest penis ever seen
Green green penis green
by Green Giant of If I’m not out in the field, I’m on the can
A turkey sandwich.
Is that so much to ask for?
You can't comprehend.
by The struggle is real.
You think that I'm rude?!
I'm talking about dodge ball!
... yeah, that's pretty rude.
by Countless hospitalizations and deaths! of Dodge ball is worse than covid!
My balls have been washed.
Now I rest them on your nose.
And proceed to fist.
by Please hold down the noise.
We need a new strain.
Resistant to all vaccines.
I would celebrate.
by Darth Whorendous of Under the sea in an octopus' garden in the shade
Oh my goodness Darth.
You're so very rude and crude.
You made me blush. Twice.
by Sweet Virginal Miss of Missionary Parents 1910
Submit on her tit.
Resume resignation.
Beats impregnation.
by ZZ Top of Jewelry story.
As seen on TV.
It's not cool to poop your pants.
Cement mix butt plugs.
Next day Fiber One.
And a large cappuccino.
Please keep your distance.
by Suppose suppository story of messy and gory.
Cannibal Hookers.
It was not a good movie.
I thought it would be.
by Catchy title though.
Should Santa Claus sue?
Green Giant stole his catch phrase.
Like how wrong is that?!
by always buy fresh. of Fuck that canned and frozen shite.
Hey, look over there.
The grass is always greener.
Just like my penis.
by Ho ho ho. Green Giant.
Fillipina whores.
Their cunts stink like rotten pork.
You are what you eat.
by The island girls are what you want... city girls, NO! of At home, considering getting drunk tonight.
Just pee on yourself.
Water sport masturbation.
Pretend it's a whore.
by Save your money. of Your friendly neighborhood financial advisor.
