The mathematician
with sticky calculator
figures his sperm count
by Contortionist Mathematician of On top of bed
Cock, schlong, penis, dink.
We should talk pussy, I think.
Cunt, twat, queefs that stink.
by Become the change you want to see. of Or smell. Or taste.
They’ll never catch me!
Green Giant running amuck
Who wants some green dink?
by Jolly Green Giant Ho Ho Ho! of Outstanding in my field
He was so repressed
he used a strap-on dildo
to bang his Fleshlight.
by And was still worried about HIV! of Mom's basement orgy pit for stuffed animals. *Stuffed*. Get it?
You want raw sugar
I’m sitting behind you, Darth
It’s not a mirage
by B. Myvalentine of Undisclosed Coffee Shop
White sugar's so harsh.
Why wasn't there raw sugar
when I was a lad?
by One of the few things that have improved. of Coffee shop, pretending I am somewhere else.
Worm often gets slapped.
Here's a better solution:
Learn how to swallow.
by There's ppl starving in Africa! of Kenyan coffee plantation, laughing at the peasants.
Sounds like politics.
I'll be the one on bottom.
Open mouth. Enjoy.
by Sucks being poor. of Whole Foods grocery, shoplifting the fine cheeses.
Human Pyramid
Now they’re all taking a shit
Upload to YouTube
by Plastered with shit of Caked with shit
One eyed wonder worm
Why do you spit in my face?
Worm, you need a slap
by Bitchlips of Worm Slappery
Please phrase your boner
in the form of a question.
No blowjob for you.
by What is a one-eyed wonder worm?
Is that a scene from
King Kong vs. Godzilla?
Hellicopter spooged.
by Hellicopter downed, but it was a soft landing.
Alex Trebek’s ghost
visiting you in your dreams
Don’t touch his boner!!
by Game Show Pervert of Glued to the TV
I've a craving for
some asparagus cream sauce
with Jersey Blue cheese.
by He blew blue.
Helicopters whirr
Green Giant bolts through farm fields
Jacking himself off
by KTLA News of On the scene
Ejaculation
You won’t want guacamole
in the near future
by Somebody of Do something about this
Green Giant, aroused
Butt fucks migrant workers
with his green ding dong
by Giant Gazette of California, USA
Green green penis green
Greenest penis ever seen
Green green penis green
by Green Giant of If I’m not out in the field, I’m on the can
A turkey sandwich.
Is that so much to ask for?
You can't comprehend.
by The struggle is real.
You think that I'm rude?!
I'm talking about dodge ball!
... yeah, that's pretty rude.
by Countless hospitalizations and deaths! of Dodge ball is worse than covid!
My balls have been washed.
Now I rest them on your nose.
And proceed to fist.
by Please hold down the noise.
We need a new strain.
Resistant to all vaccines.
I would celebrate.
by Darth Whorendous of Under the sea in an octopus' garden in the shade
Oh my goodness Darth.
You're so very rude and crude.
You made me blush. Twice.
by Sweet Virginal Miss of Missionary Parents 1910
Submit on her tit.
Resume resignation.
Beats impregnation.
by ZZ Top of Jewelry story.
As seen on TV.
It's not cool to poop your pants.
Cement mix butt plugs.
Next day Fiber One.
And a large cappuccino.
Please keep your distance.
by Suppose suppository story of messy and gory.
Cannibal Hookers.
It was not a good movie.
I thought it would be.
by Catchy title though.
Should Santa Claus sue?
Green Giant stole his catch phrase.
Like how wrong is that?!
by always buy fresh. of Fuck that canned and frozen shite.
Hey, look over there.
The grass is always greener.
Just like my penis.
by Ho ho ho. Green Giant.
Fillipina whores.
Their cunts stink like rotten pork.
You are what you eat.
by The island girls are what you want... city girls, NO! of At home, considering getting drunk tonight.
Just pee on yourself.
Water sport masturbation.
Pretend it's a whore.
by Save your money. of Your friendly neighborhood financial advisor.
I am so angry
The whores will not piss on me
Where's the circle jerk?
by Your dad's basement
People are angry
And that just pisses me off
A vicious circle
by What goes around comes around
Forget the money.
An asteroid will kill us.
Jeff Bezos told me.
by The rich guys are escaping! of Do up all the drugs you can!
I need more money.
Would you mind sending me some.
PayPal accepted.
by Darthfigpucker2@gmail.com of Asian schoolgirl hookers and cocaine ain't cheap, you know.
That guy's kind of hot.
Japanese Deliverance.
Flop like a fish, boy!
by Eat my rotten hotdog! of Wear this school girl dress!
If I was Goku,
I'd punch that rotten dog guy.
Watch his head fly off.
by And feed his guts to Pikachu. of The old Olympic stadium. Tetsuo!!!!
Here is my receipt.
I want my money returned.
But I mean right now!
by And free cocaine and blowjobs.
I wholeheartedly
concur about the website's
ugly new look. Puke.
by DW of Running to the bathroom to vomit in digust.
Seriously though,
Someone ruined this site's look.
Was it on purpose?
by Planned Obsolescence of Haikai Hookilau
Bad typography.
It wasn't broke. Why fix it?
Times New Roman. Yuck.
by Haiku Design Committee of Royal House of Sa'ud
If the dog won't eat,
try feeding it chocolate
instead of verses.
by I'd rather own a cobra. of Dogs are so effing noisy and shit all over the place.
You want a reFILL.
I'll fill something, but maybe
not your prescription.
Leave the hospital.
Go out and cough at people.
It's a free country.
I would love covid.
It's like legalized murder.
*cough cough* Hi, grandma.
by You just need a good back alley ghetto fisting. of That'll chase the covid from your cootchie.
Dr. Figpucker
Please refill my prescription
The best medicine
by Noticer of Details of 19th Floor of Covid Hotel
Waffles or pancakes.
Coffee or cappuccino.
Bacon or Sausage.
by Aren't you special. You have choices. You think it's freedom.
Read this super fast.
Advertisement disclaimer.
Causes nasty shit.
by Cancer, internal bleeding, blindness, swollen testicals, exploding ovaries, and enjoying Justin Beiber. of And all kinds of shit the censors won't let us say.
So who got covid?
Noticer, ash, vhs?
Germs hate my poems.
by DW. read my horrible poetry and you'll be better in no time.... but is the cure worth it? of may cause hematoma, coma, herpes, genital warts, AIDS, leave a bad taste, and/or cancer.
Reincarnation.
Born in a wet cow pasture.
What was I before?
by Holy shit, I'm a mushroom! of Well, this is cool.
I forgot my name.
I remember my number.
No longer human.
by 12076-064 of My momma always said, "Monster is as monster does."
Parting the Red Sea
Synchronized Menstruation
at the Public Pool
by Flo (Team Captain) of You won’t be cramping our style
Frogs prefer the swamp.
Swimming pools are much too harsh.
Too few bugs to eat.
Frog's ballet buffet.
Mosquito larvae dancing.
Olympics be damned.
by Love those spready shots. of Synchronized prick tease.
