Dr. Figpucker
Please refill my prescription
The best medicine
by Noticer of Details of 19th Floor of Covid Hotel
Waffles or pancakes.
Coffee or cappuccino.
Bacon or Sausage.
by Aren't you special. You have choices. You think it's freedom.
Read this super fast.
Advertisement disclaimer.
Causes nasty shit.
by Cancer, internal bleeding, blindness, swollen testicals, exploding ovaries, and enjoying Justin Beiber. of And all kinds of shit the censors won't let us say.
So who got covid?
Noticer, ash, vhs?
Germs hate my poems.
by DW. read my horrible poetry and you'll be better in no time.... but is the cure worth it? of may cause hematoma, coma, herpes, genital warts, AIDS, leave a bad taste, and/or cancer.
Reincarnation.
Born in a wet cow pasture.
What was I before?
by Holy shit, I'm a mushroom! of Well, this is cool.
I forgot my name.
I remember my number.
No longer human.
by 12076-064 of My momma always said, "Monster is as monster does."
Parting the Red Sea
Synchronized Menstruation
at the Public Pool
by Flo (Team Captain) of You won’t be cramping our style
Frogs prefer the swamp.
Swimming pools are much too harsh.
Too few bugs to eat.
Frog's ballet buffet.
Mosquito larvae dancing.
Olympics be damned.
by Love those spready shots. of Synchronized prick tease.
Donald Trump once said
The Washington Monument
is a huge dildo
He wasn’t joking
Quote: “Property of
Lady Liberty”
by Redacted of Redacted
Let's discuss toe jam.
Neglected bodily goo.
Drill sargeants love it.
But it's so boring.
It doesn't stink or spurt out.
It's not sexual.
It's not that ugly.
It's hidden away unseen.
Earwax is less dull.
by I feel bad for toe jam. of No one cares about it, excpet drill instructors with a hard on to gripe.
I'm not picketing.
I'm just picking my boogers.
Slash food expenses.
by Happy hobo
Considered good luck
when pigeon poop on your head
Man goo no such luck
by Say No to Man Made Heavy Whipping Cream of Picketing in front of Trump Towers
Have you ever wanked
to throw it off a high rise
and splat those below?
by That, sir, was no pigeon. of Trump Tower
Masturbatory:
Strip club without alcohol.
Sober reflections.
by But the tattoos are still trashy.
How can I top that?
I know, I’ll let out some farts
uh oh those aren’t farts
by Loosey Goosey of Look for the telltale stain and shitface grin
Visit nursing homes.
Old people are such a drain.
Cough and sneeze on them.
by Visit my ex and her mom too.
Go spread it around.
Because sharing is caring.
Less humans is good.
by We need more monsters. of That write bad haiku.
Forgot to tell you
that I tested positive
for Covid-19
by Human Torch of Burning Up
Her clitoris popped.
Like an enormous pimple.
Or John Belushi.
The beige cream filling.
Like Duncan's Bavarian.
Thank God for coffee.
by If you need to clear your cash, just send it to me.
so i cleared the cache
well fuck me with a great rake
like a stone garden
praise be to janis
patron goddess of haiku
mother of poets
by ash of bearing the shame of being a macroscopic retardigrade
bereft of comfort
for what was write is now wrong
and does unbelong
by ash of time for therapy
without a great wave
where is the huge manatee
still able to surf ?
by ash of non-pacific error identified
hokusai is gone
and a great wave of sadness
breaks on my browser
by ash of firefox layout tsunami disaster zone
firefox breaks your site
making bad poetry worse
than it has to be
by ash of alternative browser fandom
bears of little brain
when tardigrades act stupid
they're retardigrades
by ash
My apologies
An argument over mice
We hissed and made up
by Cat of Alley
The cat howled loudly.
Was it fighting or fucking?
I chose not to look.
by Minding my own.
At this time each day
A wee turtle head pokes out
Splashes in the pond
by Regular guy of National Fecalgraphic Reading Room
Although they smoke grass
Potheads like to eat Skittles
and taste the rainbow
by I. M. Munchin of Bottomless bag of Funyuns
Although they eat grass,
tortoises love hibiscus
and succulent pears.
by But they don't like being bounced around on the trampoline. of I don't know why.
I’ve seen that pug dog
Sounded like an iron lung
He humped a chair leg
by Trip to the Moon of On the end of my shoe
Analyze dog farts
via gas chromatogram
and high res mass spec.
You will find the truth.
Pugs are not from this planet.
Alien outcasts!
Earth's a prison camp.
Exiled for their foul stench,
No planet wants them.
by Bug-eyed monstrosities!
Canine Flatulence
Otherwise known as dog farts
Always a surprise
by Loyal Hound of Looking around for it
Strange that when I view
it on my phone I cannot
see rotten dog man.
It's not important.
I never had a problem
with the smaller font.
I can see my schlong.
So small font is no problem.
Water bears love me.
by Get back in your petri dish you slut retardigrade! of The captchas are stupid though. Log in to post would be better. My opinion. Fuck Google.
This website's just like
an electron microscope!
Hitachi SEM.
Scanning transmission
electron microscopy
neighborhood salesman.
Wanna see something?
Check out my collection of
sexy water bears.
by I bang tardigrades! of sexytardigrades.com
As the poets age
we find that this larger font
will improve the site
by And it will make Darth’s penis of appear 4 sizes larger
Serial killers
have issues, I prefer the
term mass murderer.
by Cyanide and stuff like that. of I hate all people equally.
Asian man speaks of,
stereotypically,
eating rotten dogs.
by The verse is worse of rehearse in the hearse, vomit in purse
Someday you might be
the first serial killer
based in outer space
by Find your bliss of (It’s probably in your pants)
But it worked just fine.
Can I ask what was broken?
Other than poets.
by DW of I still think we should be allowed to post a nude pic of ourselves next to the poems.
"If it ain't broken..."
If it's actually broken
it doesn't apply
by Janis
Shift reload the site
If things seem like they're broken
clear your browser cache.
by Janis
Nothing to wipe with
up here except these moon rocks
Last time I do this
by Uncomfortable of Outer Space
It's way more epic
to go space in outer poop.
That's how warp drives work.
by Talk about warped!
You only die once.
You live each day of your life.
Live to make huge poops.
by DW of Brought to you by Fiber One
You only live once
One day I want to go poop
up in Outer Space
by Dream Dreamer of Regular Boring Toilet Seat
Bad Haiku machine
Make payment and selection
You receive nothing
by No answer of Bad Haiku Vending LLC
I have never heard
of a serial killer
who was a midget
by conversation of elevator
Butterflied and stuffed
Organic free range penis
in a lush cream sauce
by Try our new MENu of Dink’s Diner
Philippines poem.
Verses that eat rotten dogs.
Like grandma's beef stew.
by Chew it well. of Sticks in your teeth.
