Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 248 Days and 77180 Haiku later...

I'm not picketing.
I'm just picking my boogers.
Slash food expenses.
Haiku # 69812, January 25, 2021 9:36 pm ET
by Happy hobo
Considered good luck
when pigeon poop on your head
Man goo no such luck
Haiku # 69811, January 25, 2021 9:33 pm ET
by Say No to Man Made Heavy Whipping Cream of Picketing in front of Trump Towers
Have you ever wanked
to throw it off a high rise
and splat those below?
Haiku # 69810, January 25, 2021 8:03 pm ET
by That, sir, was no pigeon. of Trump Tower
Strip club without alcohol.
Sober reflections.
Haiku # 69809, January 25, 2021 8:01 pm ET
by But the tattoos are still trashy.
How can I top that?
I know, I’ll let out some farts
uh oh those aren’t farts
Haiku # 69808, January 25, 2021 5:53 pm ET
by Loosey Goosey of Look for the telltale stain and shitface grin
Visit nursing homes.
Old people are such a drain.
Cough and sneeze on them.
Haiku # 69805, January 25, 2021 12:23 pm ET
by Visit my ex and her mom too.
Go spread it around.
Because sharing is caring.
Less humans is good.
Haiku # 69804, January 25, 2021 11:04 am ET
by We need more monsters. of That write bad haiku.
Forgot to tell you
that I tested positive
for Covid-19
Haiku # 69803, January 25, 2021 10:56 am ET
by Human Torch of Burning Up
Her clitoris popped.
Like an enormous pimple.
Or John Belushi.

The beige cream filling.
Like Duncan's Bavarian.
Thank God for coffee.
Haiku # 69802, January 25, 2021 10:23 am ET
by If you need to clear your cash, just send it to me.
so i cleared the cache
well fuck me with a great rake
like a stone garden

praise be to janis
patron goddess of haiku
mother of poets
Haiku # 69801, January 25, 2021 8:10 am ET
by ash of bearing the shame of being a macroscopic retardigrade
bereft of comfort
for what was write is now wrong
and does unbelong
Haiku # 69800, January 25, 2021 7:55 am ET
by ash of time for therapy
without a great wave
where is the huge manatee
still able to surf ?
Haiku # 69799, January 25, 2021 7:49 am ET
by ash of non-pacific error identified
hokusai is gone
and a great wave of sadness
breaks on my browser
Haiku # 69798, January 25, 2021 7:46 am ET
by ash of firefox layout tsunami disaster zone
firefox breaks your site
making bad poetry worse
than it has to be
Haiku # 69797, January 25, 2021 7:36 am ET
by ash of alternative browser fandom
bears of little brain
when tardigrades act stupid
they're retardigrades
Haiku # 69796, January 25, 2021 7:34 am ET
by ash
My apologies
An argument over mice
We hissed and made up
Haiku # 69795, January 25, 2021 6:03 am ET
by Cat of Alley
The cat howled loudly.
Was it fighting or fucking?
I chose not to look.
Haiku # 69794, January 25, 2021 5:53 am ET
by Minding my own.
At this time each day
A wee turtle head pokes out
Splashes in the pond
Haiku # 69793, January 25, 2021 3:19 am ET
by Regular guy of National Fecalgraphic Reading Room
Although they smoke grass
Potheads like to eat Skittles
and taste the rainbow
Haiku # 69792, January 25, 2021 3:10 am ET
by I. M. Munchin of Bottomless bag of Funyuns
Although they eat grass,
tortoises love hibiscus
and succulent pears.
Haiku # 69791, January 25, 2021 12:22 am ET
by But they don't like being bounced around on the trampoline. of I don't know why.
I’ve seen that pug dog
Sounded like an iron lung
He humped a chair leg
Haiku # 69790, January 25, 2021 12:01 am ET
by Trip to the Moon of On the end of my shoe
Analyze dog farts
via gas chromatogram
and high res mass spec.

You will find the truth.
Pugs are not from this planet.
Alien outcasts!

Earth's a prison camp.
Exiled for their foul stench,
No planet wants them.
Haiku # 69789, January 24, 2021 11:21 pm ET
by Bug-eyed monstrosities!
Canine Flatulence
Otherwise known as dog farts
Always a surprise
Haiku # 69788, January 24, 2021 10:04 pm ET
by Loyal Hound of Looking around for it
Strange that when I view
it on my phone I cannot
see rotten dog man.

It's not important.
I never had a problem
with the smaller font.

I can see my schlong.
So small font is no problem.
Water bears love me.
Haiku # 69787, January 24, 2021 9:58 pm ET
by Get back in your petri dish you slut retardigrade! of The captchas are stupid though. Log in to post would be better. My opinion. Fuck Google.
This website's just like
an electron microscope!
Hitachi SEM.

Scanning transmission
electron microscopy
neighborhood salesman.

Wanna see something?
Check out my collection of
sexy water bears.
Haiku # 69786, January 24, 2021 9:44 pm ET
by I bang tardigrades! of
As the poets age
we find that this larger font
will improve the site
Haiku # 69785, January 24, 2021 8:05 pm ET
by And it will make Darth’s penis of appear 4 sizes larger
Serial killers
have issues, I prefer the
term mass murderer.
Haiku # 69784, January 24, 2021 7:59 pm ET
by Cyanide and stuff like that. of I hate all people equally.
Asian man speaks of,
eating rotten dogs.
Haiku # 69783, January 24, 2021 7:55 pm ET
by The verse is worse of rehearse in the hearse, vomit in purse
Someday you might be
the first serial killer
based in outer space
Haiku # 69782, January 24, 2021 7:52 pm ET
by Find your bliss of (It’s probably in your pants)
But it worked just fine.
Can I ask what was broken?
Other than poets.
Haiku # 69781, January 24, 2021 7:49 pm ET
by DW of I still think we should be allowed to post a nude pic of ourselves next to the poems.
"If it ain't broken..."
If it's actually broken
it doesn't apply
Haiku # 69780, January 24, 2021 7:13 pm ET
by Janis
Shift reload the site
If things seem like they're broken
clear your browser cache.
Haiku # 69779, January 24, 2021 7:10 pm ET
by Janis
Nothing to wipe with
up here except these moon rocks
Last time I do this
Haiku # 69778, January 24, 2021 7:08 pm ET
by Uncomfortable of Outer Space
It's way more epic
to go space in outer poop.
That's how warp drives work.
Haiku # 69777, January 24, 2021 4:36 pm ET
by Talk about warped!
You only die once.
You live each day of your life.
Live to make huge poops.
Haiku # 69776, January 24, 2021 4:34 pm ET
by DW of Brought to you by Fiber One
You only live once
One day I want to go poop
up in Outer Space
Haiku # 69775, January 24, 2021 3:36 pm ET
by Dream Dreamer of Regular Boring Toilet Seat
Bad Haiku machine
Make payment and selection
You receive nothing
Haiku # 69774, January 24, 2021 3:30 pm ET
by No answer of Bad Haiku Vending LLC
I have never heard
of a serial killer
who was a midget
Haiku # 69773, January 24, 2021 2:59 pm ET
by conversation of elevator
Butterflied and stuffed
Organic free range penis
in a lush cream sauce
Haiku # 69772, January 24, 2021 2:40 pm ET
by Try our new MENu of Dink’s Diner
Philippines poem.
Verses that eat rotten dogs.
Like grandma's beef stew.
Haiku # 69771, January 24, 2021 1:10 pm ET
by Chew it well. of Sticks in your teeth.
Like a dream catcher
But this one catches your farts
And they are nightmares
Haiku # 69770, January 24, 2021 8:05 am ET
by Freddy Kroger of Your Instafart Shopper
i'm badly triggered
i miscounted syllables
this is traumatic
Haiku # 69769, January 24, 2021 7:30 am ET
by ash of enough fucking recaptcha already

your base are belong
someone set you up the bomb
and i can't sumbit
Haiku # 69768, January 24, 2021 7:27 am ET
by ash of microsoft edge (make it stop)
firefox is broken
all those haiku look like shit
oh wait... mostly they are
Haiku # 69767, January 24, 2021 7:25 am ET
by ash
Looks great on a phone.
On a pc looks like shit.
Just one question... why???
Haiku # 69766, January 24, 2021 7:24 am ET
by If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Dead dogs eat poems.
Zombie canine hell-hound cunts.
Ripping out your tongue.
Haiku # 69765, January 24, 2021 4:03 am ET
by And that's probably a good thing. of Y'know. ?
Viewing on my phone.
It looks a little better.
But where's the dog guy?

And I miss the waves.
And the fish stink of the boats.
Dead volcano farts.
Haiku # 69764, January 24, 2021 2:08 am ET
by Samurai spam yer eye of Kosher lobster Rolls Royce
Can’t help noticing
how big your haiku looks now
You been working out?
Haiku # 69763, January 24, 2021 1:12 am ET
by Noticer of Details
My battery's low.
So I'll have to make this quick.
Fart fart fart fart fart.
Haiku # 69762, January 24, 2021 12:38 am ET
by fart of fart
Gotta catch 'em all.
Of course I mean STDs.
Pokemon are gay.
Haiku # 69761, January 24, 2021 12:32 am ET
by Bug Hunter Bill of Bug Hunters Unanimous
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