Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
26 Years, 321 Days and 76716 Haiku later...

You only die once.
You live each day of your life.
Live to make huge poops.
Haiku # 69776, January 24, 2021 4:34 pm ET
by DW of Brought to you by Fiber One
You only live once
One day I want to go poop
up in Outer Space
Haiku # 69775, January 24, 2021 3:36 pm ET
by Dream Dreamer of Regular Boring Toilet Seat
Bad Haiku machine
Make payment and selection
You receive nothing
Haiku # 69774, January 24, 2021 3:30 pm ET
by No answer of Bad Haiku Vending LLC
I have never heard
of a serial killer
who was a midget
Haiku # 69773, January 24, 2021 2:59 pm ET
by conversation of elevator
Butterflied and stuffed
Organic free range penis
in a lush cream sauce
Haiku # 69772, January 24, 2021 2:40 pm ET
by Try our new MENu of Dink’s Diner
Philippines poem.
Verses that eat rotten dogs.
Like grandma's beef stew.
Haiku # 69771, January 24, 2021 1:10 pm ET
by Chew it well. of Sticks in your teeth.
Like a dream catcher
But this one catches your farts
And they are nightmares
Haiku # 69770, January 24, 2021 8:05 am ET
by Freddy Kroger of Your Instafart Shopper
i'm badly triggered
i miscounted syllables
this is traumatic
Haiku # 69769, January 24, 2021 7:30 am ET
by ash of enough fucking recaptcha already

your base are belong
someone set you up the bomb
and i can't sumbit
Haiku # 69768, January 24, 2021 7:27 am ET
by ash of microsoft edge (make it stop)
firefox is broken
all those haiku look like shit
oh wait... mostly they are
Haiku # 69767, January 24, 2021 7:25 am ET
by ash
Looks great on a phone.
On a pc looks like shit.
Just one question... why???
Haiku # 69766, January 24, 2021 7:24 am ET
by If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Dead dogs eat poems.
Zombie canine hell-hound cunts.
Ripping out your tongue.
Haiku # 69765, January 24, 2021 4:03 am ET
by And that's probably a good thing. of Y'know. ?
Viewing on my phone.
It looks a little better.
But where's the dog guy?

And I miss the waves.
And the fish stink of the boats.
Dead volcano farts.
Haiku # 69764, January 24, 2021 2:08 am ET
by Samurai spam yer eye of Kosher lobster Rolls Royce
Can’t help noticing
how big your haiku looks now
You been working out?
Haiku # 69763, January 24, 2021 1:12 am ET
by Noticer of Details
My battery's low.
So I'll have to make this quick.
Fart fart fart fart fart.
Haiku # 69762, January 24, 2021 12:38 am ET
by fart of fart
Gotta catch 'em all.
Of course I mean STDs.
Pokemon are gay.
Haiku # 69761, January 24, 2021 12:32 am ET
by Bug Hunter Bill of Bug Hunters Unanimous
I'd eat my verses.
I'd eat my verses so hard.
You are my mirror.
Haiku # 69760, January 24, 2021 12:24 am ET
by Buffalo Bill's dog, Precious of Down in the hole with some new victim.
The site's old enough
for me to have sex with and
not feel too guilty.
Haiku # 69759, January 24, 2021 12:22 am ET
by Dirty old bastard of under the pitched tent
Where has Trump gone to?
No extradition treaty
in Somalia.
Haiku # 69758, January 24, 2021 12:18 am ET
by Look for the orange dot in satellite pic. of course that's him.
Greiving for Morris.
Bloody pikeys stole me cat!
Bet they'll make hagis.
Haiku # 69757, January 24, 2021 12:13 am ET
by Or maybe it was Trump of He's still snatching pussy.
Join with us today
Galactic Federation
of Space Aliens
Haiku # 69756, January 24, 2021 12:09 am ET
by Recruiting Officer of Look up
I eat rotten dogs.
Thats not all I do to them.
Necrozoophile freak.
Haiku # 69755, January 23, 2021 10:55 pm ET
by Dog meat am tasty, boy howedy. of Yeeee hawwwww!
Poopie pants parade.
I can still post bad haiku.
You're such a fat cunt.
Haiku # 69754, January 23, 2021 10:50 pm ET
by But will you eat a rotten dog? of Cuntfart's basement enjoying some balot eggs and rot gut whiskey.
Someone rearranged
the furniture in this joint
Yo, Martha Stewart
Haiku # 69753, January 23, 2021 5:26 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of Under the New Old Willow
Nice. This site got sold
To your Chinee overlords.
A new global look !
Haiku # 69752, January 23, 2021 5:24 pm ET
by Times New Ramen of CCP Central Commitee
Test test damned server
Post this infernal design
And then go relax
Haiku # 69751, January 23, 2021 3:01 pm ET
by Janis
Larry King’s last fart
Sputtered in a microphone
(Snap of suspenders)
Haiku # 69750, January 23, 2021 1:12 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of Permanent Laryngitis Department
Sometimes the sun farts
and it stinks to high heavens
That’s called Solar Winds

2 Scoops Raisin Bran
Remember those commercials
Farting makes him smile

Grapes dried in the sun
Raisins: Mighty Fart Nuggets
The sun is real smart
Haiku # 69749, January 23, 2021 12:43 pm ET
by Fart Scientist of Lavatory
Bad Haiku News

Larry King is dead
Megamillions winner
Vaccine supply low
Haiku # 69748, January 23, 2021 11:59 am ET
by Crimson Mind of Phoenix, AZ
Honey, let’s pretend
we are happily married
and my dink is huge
Haiku # 69747, January 23, 2021 10:35 am ET
by D. of Marriage Encounter
where is the donald ?
rome wasn't trashed in a day
yesterday's nero
Haiku # 69746, January 23, 2021 8:23 am ET
by ash
Haiku janitor
This area sanitized
for your protection
Haiku # 69745, January 23, 2021 7:58 am ET
by Lou Minol of Bloody Mess
Cannibal Meal Kits
Delectable Selections
without all the work
Haiku # 69744, January 22, 2021 11:27 pm ET
by Like having an extra set of hands of in the kitchen
Whilst pushing a cart
Wave your arms like a madman
alternating sides
Haiku # 69743, January 22, 2021 11:20 pm ET
by There’s a new dance of Do “the Darth” Do the “expensive cheese grab”
Corpse collecting bugs
Always wanted a hobby
Never had the time
Haiku # 69742, January 22, 2021 9:33 pm ET
by It’s never too late of To live your best life
It’s embarrassing
when they find you all hacked up
like, just a torso
Haiku # 69741, January 22, 2021 9:29 pm ET
by Jane Doe of Here and There
Very good interest
You can tell by his boner
Table levitates
Haiku # 69740, January 22, 2021 9:18 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of Loaner with a Boner, Head Office
Girls,Ladies,Women!!..
Lend me your vaginas! (moan)
Very good interest
Haiku # 69739, January 22, 2021 9:15 pm ET
by Apply Now! of Certified Lender of Genitalia
I was constipated
Dude I tried Hatha yoga
I Hatha shit now
Haiku # 69738, January 22, 2021 9:08 pm ET
by Downward Facing Dung of Smelly Church Basement
Discuss vaginas.
Pick: Girls, ladies, or women.
Someone asked me this.

I said girls for fun,
Ladies if I want a date,
women for laundry.
Haiku # 69737, January 22, 2021 8:44 pm ET
by Fake News of course I'm really gay, you know.
Bad Haiku News

Darth admits he's gay.
Joined by Noticer in the
public park bathroom.

The president waits.
He's only Biden his time.
Bad haiku dad jokes.

I should get a life.
I'll take yours; you don't use it.
Wong dong schlong ping-pong.
Haiku # 69736, January 22, 2021 8:41 pm ET
by The REAL News of Trump Tower
I'm doing yoga.
If I can suck my own dick,
I'll be soooo happy.
Haiku # 69735, January 22, 2021 8:33 pm ET
by But then I can't collect bugs. :-( of As if yoga's not gay enough.
Lady-boys are gross.
If I wear fins and flippers,
still I'm no dolphin.
Haiku # 69734, January 22, 2021 8:29 pm ET
by Silly sods. of Only real men can be fags!
the best part of reach-
arounds is pretending you
went all the way through.
Haiku # 69733, January 22, 2021 8:25 pm ET
by ... and no babies! Bug-Hunters Anonymous. of Hello, my names Joe, It's been 3 days since my last butt-bang.
There's nothing to say.
I'll write this shit anyway.
Holy shit, I'm gay!

High protein meal.
Glory hole so nutritious.
Vitamin slurpies.

Goes well with coffee.
In one hole, out the other.
Sea men's semen, man.
Haiku # 69732, January 22, 2021 8:21 pm ET
by So many holes! Penis, glory, mouth, ass, toilet. Whole & complete, something to eat. of IIt's free, no tax, environmentally friendly, you should try! Experiment! Don't deny science!
Christmas music sucks.
Moreso when eight months of it.
Fucking Philippines.
Haiku # 69731, January 22, 2021 8:07 pm ET
by Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho of Angeles City brothel hopping
You mom is upset
because your dad won't try them.
Open you mind, mom!

Open your mind
then open your behind.
Handcuffs will bind.
Do the grind
and you will find
wet like watermelon rind.
Haiku # 69730, January 22, 2021 8:03 pm ET
by squirt squirt squirt of course it won't hurt
so anyways i
did order another dcolivery
coz i fuckin can
Haiku # 69729, January 22, 2021 7:39 pm ET
by anal beads pt. 6
she lectures me for hour
i feel hurt but i know what i
did was not that bad
Haiku # 69728, January 22, 2021 7:38 pm ET
by anal beads part 5 of pain
my dad texts my mom
she is very angry now
she says im not normal
Haiku # 69727, January 22, 2021 7:36 pm ET
by anal beads part 4
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