Bad Haiku News
Larry King is dead
Megamillions winner
Vaccine supply low
by Crimson Mind of Phoenix, AZ
Honey, let’s pretend
we are happily married
and my dink is huge
by D. of Marriage Encounter
where is the donald ?
rome wasn't trashed in a day
yesterday's nero
by ash
Haiku janitor
This area sanitized
for your protection
by Lou Minol of Bloody Mess
Cannibal Meal Kits
Delectable Selections
without all the work
by Like having an extra set of hands of in the kitchen
Whilst pushing a cart
Wave your arms like a madman
alternating sides
by There’s a new dance of Do “the Darth” Do the “expensive cheese grab”
Corpse collecting bugs
Always wanted a hobby
Never had the time
by It’s never too late of To live your best life
It’s embarrassing
when they find you all hacked up
like, just a torso
by Jane Doe of Here and There
Very good interest
You can tell by his boner
Table levitates
by Noticer of Details of Loaner with a Boner, Head Office
Girls,Ladies,Women!!..
Lend me your vaginas! (moan)
Very good interest
by Apply Now! of Certified Lender of Genitalia
I was constipated
Dude I tried Hatha yoga
I Hatha shit now
by Downward Facing Dung of Smelly Church Basement
Discuss vaginas.
Pick: Girls, ladies, or women.
Someone asked me this.
I said girls for fun,
Ladies if I want a date,
women for laundry.
by Fake News of course I'm really gay, you know.
Bad Haiku News
Darth admits he's gay.
Joined by Noticer in the
public park bathroom.
The president waits.
He's only Biden his time.
Bad haiku dad jokes.
I should get a life.
I'll take yours; you don't use it.
Wong dong schlong ping-pong.
by The REAL News of Trump Tower
I'm doing yoga.
If I can suck my own dick,
I'll be soooo happy.
by But then I can't collect bugs. :-( of As if yoga's not gay enough.
Lady-boys are gross.
If I wear fins and flippers,
still I'm no dolphin.
by Silly sods. of Only real men can be fags!
the best part of reach-
arounds is pretending you
went all the way through.
by ... and no babies! Bug-Hunters Anonymous. of Hello, my names Joe, It's been 3 days since my last butt-bang.
There's nothing to say.
I'll write this shit anyway.
Holy shit, I'm gay!
High protein meal.
Glory hole so nutritious.
Vitamin slurpies.
Goes well with coffee.
In one hole, out the other.
Sea men's semen, man.
by So many holes! Penis, glory, mouth, ass, toilet. Whole & complete, something to eat. of IIt's free, no tax, environmentally friendly, you should try! Experiment! Don't deny science!
Christmas music sucks.
Moreso when eight months of it.
Fucking Philippines.
by Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho of Angeles City brothel hopping
You mom is upset
because your dad won't try them.
Open you mind, mom!
Open your mind
then open your behind.
Handcuffs will bind.
Do the grind
and you will find
wet like watermelon rind.
by squirt squirt squirt of course it won't hurt
so anyways i
did order another dcolivery
coz i fuckin can
by anal beads pt. 6
she lectures me for hour
i feel hurt but i know what i
did was not that bad
by anal beads part 5 of pain
my dad texts my mom
she is very angry now
she says im not normal
by anal beads part 4
oh shit fuckity fuck
shit goddamn fuck im stupid
i done goofed again
by anal beads pt 3
i wait for anal beads
they say they have arrived now
dad called he has them
by anal beads pt.2
i ordered anal beads
i sent them to my dads home
he opened the box
by anal bead part 1
haha sixty nine
funny sex number haha
see count of haiku
by anal cancer of big sad
fucking midget poem
haiku whatever thingy bob
is very much scuffed
by goodanalhygeine of yorknew city
Look at nude midgets
Observe the phenomenon
Table levitates
by Darth Figpucker of Immature Magician for Hire
We’re not wearing masks
When the Viagara kicks in
we'll hump in the streets
by Public Display of Infection
No toilet paper
So I wiped my ass with toast
and charged you 12 bucks
by Hipster Cafe Proprietor of Hipster Cafe
Booger farts on toast
What all the hipsters order
Fuck avocado
by Nelly Boogerfartado of Rooftop Helicopter Landing Pad
Juicy bursts of flavour
Boogers are like bouillon cubes
Pairs well with earwax
by I. Pickham of Nostril Havest Magazine
I do not know how.
Booger farts are a real thing.
That's what google says.
But do boogers fart?
Or just farts from eating them?
Ask some grade school kids.
by Survey says....
Noticer steals
vile vials of bile
to write haiku with.
by Covid molecules are not impressed with your apparent lack of effort to stop them with bad haiku.
Bad Haiku News
Doc steals vaccine vile
Chappelle Covid Positive
Arnold get vaccine
by Crimson Mind of Phoenix, AZ
Bad Haiku News
Joe Biden sworn in
One winning Powerball ticket
Simpsons right again
by Crimson Mind of Phoenix, AZ
Swimming in Loch Ness
Say, now someone’s goosing me
Sea monsters are fun
by Skinny Dipper of Feeling around for my missing bagpipe
I am a robot
Look, I’m seventeen feet tall
I’m constipated
by Gunked Up of Robot Saloon
I'm not a robot
I can make actual poops
By eating people
by Pootronic5000
Can’t be a mirror
Your reflection comes with a
huge elephant’s trunk
by Got junk but no trunk of Mirror
You can also say
that great behinds stink alike.
You sexy beast, you!
by It's like looking in a haiku mirror!
Great minds think alike
That’s what I like about you
Plus you’re kinda hot
by Just another sexy poet of Under old willow
About the cuntfart,
I was thinking the same thing.
But switch F and C.
by Funtcart funtcart funt of Like a fun go cart that smells like day old tuna. Running on fumes.
Listen, this is Q
My new hobby is haiku
You should try it too
by Q of Out of my mind
Cuntfart Cuntfart Cunt
Cuntfart Cuntfart Cuntfart cunt
Cuntfart Cuntfart Cunt
by Anonymous Poet
Listen, this is Q
Here you will find my next clue
Hidden in haiku
by Q of Under Old Willow
Who needs quarantine?!
Have you NEVER dressed your dink
in Barbie doll clothes?
by I thought not. of Just tattoo the damn thing already.
The South Park school nurse.
Ms. Golum fetus parade.
Do you remember?
by She was cool. of Conjoined twin myslexia.
Conjoined headless twin
Mother always liked you best
Now shut the fuck up
by Conjoined Headless Twins for Trump of Pacing
Listen, this is Q
Where we go one we go all
We’re taking a shit
by Group Effort of Latrine
