Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 215 Days and 77130 Haiku later...

Noticer steals
vile vials of bile
to write haiku with.
Haiku # 69715, January 22, 2021 4:25 pm ET
by Covid molecules are not impressed with your apparent lack of effort to stop them with bad haiku.
Bad Haiku News

Doc steals vaccine vile
Chappelle Covid Positive
Arnold get vaccine
Haiku # 69713, January 22, 2021 11:32 am ET
by Crimson Mind of Phoenix, AZ
Bad Haiku News

Joe Biden sworn in
One winning Powerball ticket
Simpsons right again
Haiku # 69712, January 22, 2021 3:53 am ET
by Crimson Mind of Phoenix, AZ
Swimming in Loch Ness
Say, now someone’s goosing me
Sea monsters are fun
Haiku # 69711, January 21, 2021 11:23 pm ET
by Skinny Dipper of Feeling around for my missing bagpipe
I am a robot
Look, I’m seventeen feet tall
I’m constipated
Haiku # 69710, January 21, 2021 10:37 pm ET
by Gunked Up of Robot Saloon
I'm not a robot
I can make actual poops
By eating people
Haiku # 69709, January 21, 2021 10:29 pm ET
by Pootronic5000
Can’t be a mirror
Your reflection comes with a
huge elephant’s trunk
Haiku # 69708, January 21, 2021 8:40 pm ET
by Got junk but no trunk of Mirror
You can also say
that great behinds stink alike.
You sexy beast, you!
Haiku # 69707, January 21, 2021 6:38 pm ET
by It's like looking in a haiku mirror!
Great minds think alike
That’s what I like about you
Plus you’re kinda hot
Haiku # 69706, January 21, 2021 6:01 pm ET
by Just another sexy poet of Under old willow
About the cuntfart,
I was thinking the same thing.
But switch F and C.
Haiku # 69705, January 21, 2021 5:08 pm ET
by Funtcart funtcart funt of Like a fun go cart that smells like day old tuna. Running on fumes.
Listen, this is Q
My new hobby is haiku
You should try it too
Haiku # 69704, January 21, 2021 4:54 pm ET
by Q of Out of my mind
Cuntfart Cuntfart Cunt
Cuntfart Cuntfart Cuntfart cunt
Cuntfart Cuntfart Cunt
Haiku # 69703, January 21, 2021 7:48 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Listen, this is Q
Here you will find my next clue
Hidden in haiku
Haiku # 69702, January 21, 2021 7:43 am ET
by Q of Under Old Willow
Who needs quarantine?!
Have you NEVER dressed your dink
in Barbie doll clothes?
Haiku # 69701, January 21, 2021 6:38 am ET
by I thought not. of Just tattoo the damn thing already.
The South Park school nurse.
Ms. Golum fetus parade.
Do you remember?
Haiku # 69700, January 21, 2021 6:35 am ET
by She was cool. of Conjoined twin myslexia.
Conjoined headless twin
Mother always liked you best
Now shut the fuck up
Haiku # 69699, January 21, 2021 6:07 am ET
by Conjoined Headless Twins for Trump of Pacing
Listen, this is Q
Where we go one we go all
We’re taking a shit
Haiku # 69698, January 21, 2021 6:02 am ET
by Group Effort of Latrine
Listen, this is Q
Looking for a new Shaman
Bring your own horns, please
Haiku # 69697, January 21, 2021 5:59 am ET
by Direct Deposit of Manure Bank
Listen, this is Q
John F. Kennedy Jr.
has left the building
Haiku # 69696, January 21, 2021 2:43 am ET
by Q-Tip of Pushed in too far
Quarantined and bored?
Have you ever dressed your dink
in Barbie doll clothes?
Haiku # 69695, January 20, 2021 9:20 pm ET
by Members Only monthly subscription box of Tiny shoes even stay on with natural “glue” (not included)
It’s like the nation
Passed a YUGE Orange kaka
after much grunting
Haiku # 69694, January 20, 2021 9:12 pm ET
by Rhoda Rooter of Patooter
plus ca change encore
the end of one weird era
for the time being
Haiku # 69693, January 20, 2021 6:46 pm ET
by ash
Give me more money.
I'll pay you back tomorrow.
You're such a good friend.
Haiku # 69692, January 20, 2021 6:44 pm ET
by I love you, brother!
China is happy.
So now it's back to Business.
Import more cheap shit.
Haiku # 69691, January 20, 2021 2:48 pm ET
by Fidget toys and fart smones. of 1.6 year life span
*sparklers.
Haiku # 69690, January 20, 2021 2:41 pm ET
by See, already getting back to normal. of Typos and all.
Now Biden's POTUS.
Corona will disappear.
Funny how that works.

Because of vaccines.
That is what "experts" will say.
But it's all Biden.

All back to normal.
Fourth of July Freedom Fest.
Orgies and spaklers.
Haiku # 69689, January 20, 2021 2:38 pm ET
by DW
having drained us all
there's one good thing about trump
he's leaving the swamp
Haiku # 69688, January 20, 2021 6:33 am ET
by ash
Almost every day
Darth Figpucker sprays his bum
after a big poop
Haiku # 69687, January 20, 2021 12:41 am ET
by Taint Clean of Fart Farm
Have you ever thought
The ocean is like a soup
Live seafood chowder
Haiku # 69686, January 20, 2021 12:29 am ET
by Noticed of Details of Shore
of course you know that
I don’t want you in my car
It’s your flatulence
Haiku # 69685, January 20, 2021 12:25 am ET
by Flatulence of will get you nowhere
I ate a whole pint
of Cherry Garcia, bruh
We must be psychic
Haiku # 69684, January 20, 2021 12:20 am ET
by I’d rather not say of Exploding glucometer
I'm not a huge fan.
But Main Street sure was a blast.
Veggie burritos!
Haiku # 69683, January 19, 2021 7:40 pm ET
by and tripping balls.
So, how many shows...
A little less than fifty
Eighties and nineties
Haiku # 69682, January 19, 2021 11:36 am ET
by Never saw them in the pig pen era.
Just say N2O.
The good old nitrous oxide.
Waaa waaa waaa waaa waaa
Haiku # 69681, January 19, 2021 8:06 am ET
by Steve Martin of Dentist's Office.
Laughing gas balloons.
Huffed plenty of them back then.
And sold them also.
Haiku # 69680, January 19, 2021 7:59 am ET
by Good times!
Jut a box of pain?
That made my ass laugh out loud
Which is a problem.

My ass should not laugh
Or maybe it's McNuggets
Making laughing gas
Haiku # 69679, January 19, 2021 7:14 am ET
by Phil Lesh of Huffing butts
How many Dead shows
did you attend back in the
proverbial day?
Haiku # 69678, January 18, 2021 10:30 pm ET
by Puddled and Cuddled.
You needed Phil Lesh
to warn you about McDo?
Just a Box of Pain.
Haiku # 69677, January 18, 2021 9:47 pm ET
by Unhappy meals. of Adult toy surprise in the box.
Don't eat McDonald's
You will make stinky pudding
Fucking McNuggets
Haiku # 69676, January 18, 2021 9:15 pm ET
by Phil Lesh
Covid's decreasing.
That's 'cause Biden's president.
It's afraid of him.
Haiku # 69675, January 18, 2021 9:03 pm ET
by Tee hee hee snicker snort fart. of Trust the Media!
The year's best moments.
How about that Beruit blast?
That was lots of fun.

Location's not great.
Could have been somewhere better.
Like maybe Tulsa.
Haiku # 69674, January 18, 2021 8:38 am ET
by Or Disneyland. of Or Dull-ass Texass. And it needs to be under a raw sewage tank to spread shit through the air so you can breathe it.
Blue dingleberries.
A modern art masterpiece
On a baboon's ass.
Haiku # 69673, January 18, 2021 8:30 am ET
by No denying it, of course.
This is dumb.
I'm going to go watch South Park.
Donuts and beer.
Haiku # 69672, January 18, 2021 5:54 am ET
by Homer Simpson
Macadamia nuts.
College is a bit crazy.
Acadamia nuts.
Haiku # 69671, January 17, 2021 11:09 pm ET
by Deez nutz. of On your chin.
I am certain that
boobies are just booby traps.
Give me an Amen!
Haiku # 69670, January 17, 2021 6:57 pm ET
by Reaching Preacher
It's so Biblical.
The Palestine Intestine.
Let's set off some bombs!
Haiku # 69669, January 17, 2021 6:56 pm ET
by Booby trap fecal bombs w/ shrapnel. of soooo deadly!
Have you ever played
Tiddlywinks in grade school?
Sadly, I didn't.

I don't even know
what the hell that game's about.
So why is it sad?!
Haiku # 69668, January 17, 2021 6:53 pm ET
by I should go ask Lemmiwinks. of Knock knock knock... excuse me, is this the lower intestine?
Murder is okay.
Especially if you're a
record producer.

Spector was a member of Spectre.
James Bond framed him for murder.
That's the real news.
Haiku # 69667, January 17, 2021 6:47 pm ET
by You heard it here first! of Real News! Fantastic reporting. The best reporting.
Good High-Poo-Poos

I made a big fart.
I made a really big fart.
And another fart.
Haiku # 69666, January 17, 2021 5:40 pm ET
by And no one cares.
My father punched him
Riding an elevator
I liked Phil Spector
Haiku # 69665, January 17, 2021 12:50 pm ET
by Gatita Estrella
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