Bad Haiku News
Joe Biden sworn in
One winning Powerball ticket
Simpsons right again
by Crimson Mind of Phoenix, AZ
Swimming in Loch Ness
Say, now someone’s goosing me
Sea monsters are fun
by Skinny Dipper of Feeling around for my missing bagpipe
I am a robot
Look, I’m seventeen feet tall
I’m constipated
by Gunked Up of Robot Saloon
I'm not a robot
I can make actual poops
By eating people
by Pootronic5000
Can’t be a mirror
Your reflection comes with a
huge elephant’s trunk
by Got junk but no trunk of Mirror
You can also say
that great behinds stink alike.
You sexy beast, you!
by It's like looking in a haiku mirror!
Great minds think alike
That’s what I like about you
Plus you’re kinda hot
by Just another sexy poet of Under old willow
About the cuntfart,
I was thinking the same thing.
But switch F and C.
by Funtcart funtcart funt of Like a fun go cart that smells like day old tuna. Running on fumes.
Listen, this is Q
My new hobby is haiku
You should try it too
by Q of Out of my mind
Cuntfart Cuntfart Cunt
Cuntfart Cuntfart Cuntfart cunt
Cuntfart Cuntfart Cunt
by Anonymous Poet
Listen, this is Q
Here you will find my next clue
Hidden in haiku
by Q of Under Old Willow
Who needs quarantine?!
Have you NEVER dressed your dink
in Barbie doll clothes?
by I thought not. of Just tattoo the damn thing already.
The South Park school nurse.
Ms. Golum fetus parade.
Do you remember?
by She was cool. of Conjoined twin myslexia.
Conjoined headless twin
Mother always liked you best
Now shut the fuck up
by Conjoined Headless Twins for Trump of Pacing
Listen, this is Q
Where we go one we go all
We’re taking a shit
by Group Effort of Latrine
Listen, this is Q
Looking for a new Shaman
Bring your own horns, please
by Direct Deposit of Manure Bank
Listen, this is Q
John F. Kennedy Jr.
has left the building
by Q-Tip of Pushed in too far
Quarantined and bored?
Have you ever dressed your dink
in Barbie doll clothes?
by Members Only monthly subscription box of Tiny shoes even stay on with natural “glue” (not included)
It’s like the nation
Passed a YUGE Orange kaka
after much grunting
by Rhoda Rooter of Patooter
plus ca change encore
the end of one weird era
for the time being
by ash
Give me more money.
I'll pay you back tomorrow.
You're such a good friend.
by I love you, brother!
China is happy.
So now it's back to Business.
Import more cheap shit.
by Fidget toys and fart smones. of 1.6 year life span
*sparklers.
by See, already getting back to normal. of Typos and all.
Now Biden's POTUS.
Corona will disappear.
Funny how that works.
Because of vaccines.
That is what "experts" will say.
But it's all Biden.
All back to normal.
Fourth of July Freedom Fest.
Orgies and spaklers.
by DW
having drained us all
there's one good thing about trump
he's leaving the swamp
by ash
Almost every day
Darth Figpucker sprays his bum
after a big poop
by Taint Clean of Fart Farm
Have you ever thought
The ocean is like a soup
Live seafood chowder
by Noticed of Details of Shore
of course you know that
I don’t want you in my car
It’s your flatulence
by Flatulence of will get you nowhere
I ate a whole pint
of Cherry Garcia, bruh
We must be psychic
by I’d rather not say of Exploding glucometer
I'm not a huge fan.
But Main Street sure was a blast.
Veggie burritos!
by and tripping balls.
So, how many shows...
A little less than fifty
Eighties and nineties
by Never saw them in the pig pen era.
Just say N2O.
The good old nitrous oxide.
Waaa waaa waaa waaa waaa
by Steve Martin of Dentist's Office.
Laughing gas balloons.
Huffed plenty of them back then.
And sold them also.
by Good times!
Jut a box of pain?
That made my ass laugh out loud
Which is a problem.
My ass should not laugh
Or maybe it's McNuggets
Making laughing gas
by Phil Lesh of Huffing butts
How many Dead shows
did you attend back in the
proverbial day?
by Puddled and Cuddled.
You needed Phil Lesh
to warn you about McDo?
Just a Box of Pain.
by Unhappy meals. of Adult toy surprise in the box.
Don't eat McDonald's
You will make stinky pudding
Fucking McNuggets
by Phil Lesh
Covid's decreasing.
That's 'cause Biden's president.
It's afraid of him.
by Tee hee hee snicker snort fart. of Trust the Media!
The year's best moments.
How about that Beruit blast?
That was lots of fun.
Location's not great.
Could have been somewhere better.
Like maybe Tulsa.
by Or Disneyland. of Or Dull-ass Texass. And it needs to be under a raw sewage tank to spread shit through the air so you can breathe it.
Blue dingleberries.
A modern art masterpiece
On a baboon's ass.
by No denying it, of course.
This is dumb.
I'm going to go watch South Park.
Donuts and beer.
by Homer Simpson
Macadamia nuts.
College is a bit crazy.
Acadamia nuts.
by Deez nutz. of On your chin.
I am certain that
boobies are just booby traps.
Give me an Amen!
by Reaching Preacher
It's so Biblical.
The Palestine Intestine.
Let's set off some bombs!
by Booby trap fecal bombs w/ shrapnel. of soooo deadly!
Have you ever played
Tiddlywinks in grade school?
Sadly, I didn't.
I don't even know
what the hell that game's about.
So why is it sad?!
by I should go ask Lemmiwinks. of Knock knock knock... excuse me, is this the lower intestine?
Murder is okay.
Especially if you're a
record producer.
Spector was a member of Spectre.
James Bond framed him for murder.
That's the real news.
by You heard it here first! of Real News! Fantastic reporting. The best reporting.
Good High-Poo-Poos
I made a big fart.
I made a really big fart.
And another fart.
by And no one cares.
My father punched him
Riding an elevator
I liked Phil Spector
by Gatita Estrella
Bad Haiku News
Phil Spector has died
Betty White turns 99
Packers beat the Rams
by Crimson Mind of Phoenix, AZ
Bad Haiku News
Hot Pockets recalled
Police kill autistic boy
NRA Bankrupt
by Crimson Mind of Phoenix, AZ
