Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 255 Days and 77188 Haiku later...

I am certain that
boobies are just booby traps.
Give me an Amen!
Haiku # 69670, January 17, 2021 6:57 pm ET
by Reaching Preacher
It's so Biblical.
The Palestine Intestine.
Let's set off some bombs!
Haiku # 69669, January 17, 2021 6:56 pm ET
by Booby trap fecal bombs w/ shrapnel. of soooo deadly!
Have you ever played
Tiddlywinks in grade school?
Sadly, I didn't.

I don't even know
what the hell that game's about.
So why is it sad?!
Haiku # 69668, January 17, 2021 6:53 pm ET
by I should go ask Lemmiwinks. of Knock knock knock... excuse me, is this the lower intestine?
Murder is okay.
Especially if you're a
record producer.

Spector was a member of Spectre.
James Bond framed him for murder.
That's the real news.
Haiku # 69667, January 17, 2021 6:47 pm ET
by You heard it here first! of Real News! Fantastic reporting. The best reporting.
Good High-Poo-Poos

I made a big fart.
I made a really big fart.
And another fart.
Haiku # 69666, January 17, 2021 5:40 pm ET
by And no one cares.
My father punched him
Riding an elevator
I liked Phil Spector
Haiku # 69665, January 17, 2021 12:50 pm ET
by Gatita Estrella
Bad Haiku News

Phil Spector has died
Betty White turns 99
Packers beat the Rams
Haiku # 69664, January 17, 2021 12:28 pm ET
by Crimson Mind of Phoenix, AZ
Bad Haiku News

Hot Pockets recalled
Police kill autistic boy
NRA Bankrupt
Haiku # 69663, January 17, 2021 12:27 pm ET
by Crimson Mind of Phoenix, AZ
So he likes to nap.
I'm sure I'd fall asleep too.
Fucking politics.
Haiku # 69662, January 17, 2021 11:59 am ET
by We need to discuss my balls. of Enough of this monkey chatter.
Most popular prez
Since Reagan or Obama:
Sleepy Joe. Yeah, right...
Haiku # 69661, January 17, 2021 5:23 am ET
by Barbed Wire of The Capitol
McDo is the juicy cheap whore of fast food. If you don't eat the buns, you're missing what you paid for.
Haiku # 69660, January 17, 2021 4:20 am ET
by dw
Jump
Hump
Stump
Frump
Lump
Sump
Pump
Dump
Thump
Haiku # 69659, January 17, 2021 4:15 am ET
by Gump of Dump
ump
bump
chump
clump
dump
grump
gump
hump
jump
lump
plump
pump
slump
stump
Trump
Haiku # 69658, January 17, 2021 4:13 am ET
by You gonna make sUMPin' of it?!
He likes McDonald's
But he doesn't eat the buns
He likes "fish delight"
Haiku # 69657, January 17, 2021 4:12 am ET
by Does this count?
Okay, I got one!
All the words that rhyme with Trump.
Hump, rump, dump, lump, clump...
Haiku # 69656, January 17, 2021 4:08 am ET
by etc. of When Trump took a dump, I humped his rump, "thump, thump thump" and shot a lump on the stump.
I am curious.
Name one good thing about Trump.
Is it possible?
Haiku # 69655, January 17, 2021 2:42 am ET
by My parents think so. of I have my doubts.
I don't send my nudes.
I'll dance for you in person.
Check out me arsehole.
Haiku # 69654, January 17, 2021 2:41 am ET
by Donning naughty pirate garb. of The treasure's down under.
You don't need no Trump
Darth Figpucker's way more sexy
He'll email you nudes
Haiku # 69653, January 17, 2021 1:48 am ET
by Darth 2020 Stop the Squeal of In(box) always full
But he's so sexy.
I'm in love with Donald Trump.
He can move on me.
Haiku # 69652, January 17, 2021 12:32 am ET
by Redneck church woman with good reasons to vote. of Nashville
The My Pillow Guy
Bedtime Stories for Old Men
who act like babies
Haiku # 69651, January 17, 2021 12:16 am ET
by Meteorologist of Forecasting Tears of Trumpers
Popcorn?! For breakfast?!
Who the hell you think you are?!
Go watch your Hentai!
Haiku # 69650, January 16, 2021 10:08 pm ET
by Me to my 4 yo son. of Urotsukidoji universe.
Long long pig shlong song.
Extra spicy Jimmy Dean.
You know what I mean.

Grind, stuffed from behind.
Spices and preservatives.
Hold the MSG.

Too greasy for me.
I'll have raisin oatmeal.
Thank you very much.
Haiku # 69649, January 16, 2021 10:01 pm ET
by And a coffee. of course! That goes w/o saying.
It's all a con game.
Whores can't have relationships.
Or happy children.
Haiku # 69648, January 16, 2021 9:54 pm ET
by Here's some money, now leave.
Poop poop poop dink dink.
Darth Darth Darth Darth long pig Darth.
Dinky poopy dink.
Haiku # 69647, January 16, 2021 9:52 pm ET
by Generic Noticer Poem Generator of Download the app at Google Store.
I'm retarded
The relationship's not real
But still fucked it up.
Haiku # 69646, January 16, 2021 6:19 pm ET
by Lacklustre of Hotel Quarantine
Happy New Year!!! www.google.com
Haiku # 69645, January 16, 2021 5:10 pm ET
by Molley www.google.com of a point or extent in space
Oh Darth. You BORE me.
I daresay I'll repeat it:
How you BORE me Darth.
Haiku # 69644, January 16, 2021 3:38 pm ET
by Condescending of Five More Degrees
Hot humid weather
makes the crickets sing loudly.
Predator's coming.
Haiku # 69643, January 16, 2021 8:57 am ET
by Sexual Stealing of Prince's other song.
A hippie pigeon
lives in a pigeon co-op,
And po-ops on cars.
Haiku # 69642, January 16, 2021 7:15 am ET
by Bad Dad Jokes 101
Are pigeons friendly?
Reserve bread crusts from your toast
Pigeon enjoy gifts
Haiku # 69641, January 16, 2021 4:53 am ET
by Pigeon of Pigeon Coop
You are so worthless.
Nothing but a parasite.
Born and raised that way.
Haiku # 69640, January 15, 2021 11:47 pm ET
by Your mom is so proud. of course all your friends as well.
Do not become gay
so you can stay regular.
"Gay" will plug you up!
Haiku # 69639, January 15, 2021 10:53 pm ET
by Constellation Constipation of I just took a stellar dump!
how much will it cost
to hire a prostitute
that one can poop on?
Haiku # 69638, January 15, 2021 10:45 pm ET
by Asking for Noticer. of She's too embarased
Give in to your hate.
Let the Dark Side consume you.
Have a hit of this.
Haiku # 69637, January 15, 2021 10:43 pm ET
by Fulfill your destiny. And my wallet.
Not constipated.
I guess you weren't listening.
But you never did.
Haiku # 69636, January 15, 2021 10:42 pm ET
by Close mouth, open ears, open mind, fart. of Let it all out.
The Honeymoon Suite
A penis dressed like Elvis
rests on crushed velvet
Haiku # 69635, January 15, 2021 10:00 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of TMZ
C'mon high roller
Let's run off to Vegas, Darth
(Clink) Jackpot spilling
Haiku # 69634, January 15, 2021 9:41 pm ET
by Feline Hitchhiker of Getting off on the on ramp
Pigeons are fine birds
Consider it your good luck
when they shit on you
Haiku # 69633, January 15, 2021 9:35 pm ET
by A. Pigeon of Rooftop
Let's Netflix and chill
Sorry about the frostbite
Clam shipped in dry ice
Haiku # 69632, January 15, 2021 9:32 pm ET
by Concerned and Nosy of Undisclosed
Mild Constipation
His Blood Type: Expensive Cheese
Atypical dink
Haiku # 69631, January 15, 2021 9:22 pm ET
by Baffled Physician of holding green stool sample
Hey, get off your ass!
Hey, why are you on my ass?
Hey, you're an asshole.
Haiku # 69630, January 15, 2021 8:07 pm ET
by G. Yurassismelli of Back door
Penis Repair Shop
This one's having a solder
That one can't be fixed
Haiku # 69629, January 15, 2021 8:01 pm ET
by Huge Bill of Invoice on a messy desk
Barracuda jaws
You weren't paying attention
Clampdown on your dink
Haiku # 69628, January 15, 2021 7:58 pm ET
by Martha Raye of Grave
Water bear orgy?!
That's soooo retardigraded!
But I think you'll go.
Haiku # 69627, January 15, 2021 7:33 pm ET
by Box of condoms for your birthday.
Pursuit of penis.
Three is no intellegence.
Tardigrades also fuck.

Strife, puberty, and
the pursuit of a penis.
Alien able.

Emansipation.
Set your own Goddamn self free.
You fat, lazy whore.
Haiku # 69626, January 15, 2021 7:23 pm ET
by The Prostiution of The United States of 'Murica. Emansepation constipation separation -- rid yourself of like shit, I did! I do declare! Forty-second Ammendment.
The drunken pattern.
She Mandel-brought the red wine.
But then he escaped.

Back to the gay bar.
Where things got a bit messy.
BifurcatingPoo.
Haiku # 69625, January 15, 2021 7:02 pm ET
by But I'm sure you knew.
Always in pursuit
Of the bigger better bang.
Pure astrophysics.
Haiku # 69624, January 15, 2021 5:17 pm ET
by Theories of Intelligent Design
Always in pursuit
Of the bigger better bang.
Pure astrophysics.
Haiku # 69623, January 15, 2021 5:16 pm ET
by Theories of Intelligent Design
Solar ejections:
Spasmodic spurts into space
From the corona
Haiku # 69622, January 15, 2021 10:03 am ET
by Sexy Solar Flares of Outer Space
Please do not fear the
gaseous ejaculate.
Here's a free sample.
Haiku # 69621, January 15, 2021 6:56 am ET
by Clean your glasses.
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