Hey, get off your ass!
Hey, why are you on my ass?
Hey, you're an asshole.
by G. Yurassismelli of Back door
Penis Repair Shop
This one's having a solder
That one can't be fixed
by Huge Bill of Invoice on a messy desk
Barracuda jaws
You weren't paying attention
Clampdown on your dink
by Martha Raye of Grave
Water bear orgy?!
That's soooo retardigraded!
But I think you'll go.
by Box of condoms for your birthday.
Pursuit of penis.
Three is no intellegence.
Tardigrades also fuck.
Strife, puberty, and
the pursuit of a penis.
Alien able.
Emansipation.
Set your own Goddamn self free.
You fat, lazy whore.
by The Prostiution of The United States of 'Murica. Emansepation constipation separation -- rid yourself of like shit, I did! I do declare! Forty-second Ammendment.
The drunken pattern.
She Mandel-brought the red wine.
But then he escaped.
Back to the gay bar.
Where things got a bit messy.
BifurcatingPoo.
by But I'm sure you knew.
Always in pursuit
Of the bigger better bang.
Pure astrophysics.
by Theories of Intelligent Design
Always in pursuit
Of the bigger better bang.
Pure astrophysics.
by Theories of Intelligent Design
Solar ejections:
Spasmodic spurts into space
From the corona
by Sexy Solar Flares of Outer Space
Please do not fear the
gaseous ejaculate.
Here's a free sample.
by Clean your glasses.
Maybe it's a worm.
Maybe it's a pachyderm.
Ether makes me squirm.
by Enticer of the snails.
Let us reminisce
the penile flatulence.
Effervescent sperm.
by Maybe it's a worm.
One-eyed prostitute.
I'll keep an eye out for you.
Glass eye lubricant.
by Lubricant pube you can't of Find in the behind the old stinky pussy won't-oh
The junk's in the trunk.
I wet humped the cheese thinking
Of your dry pillow.
by Can't you get your facts straight?! of Nothing but fake news and lies your entire life!
Under old willow
Darth dry humped his pillow. (moan)
whilst thinking of cheese
by Legends of of Haiku Fairy Tales
Do you look for slime?
I didn't see much eyeballs
or any pubes
by Noticer of Details of Under old willow
The centipede's junk
How do you tell the difference?
Like, what end's the junk?
by Carcass Tosser of Haiku Junkyard
When we speak of food,
should it be before eaten,
or when it comes out?
Or continuous
recycling like in The
Human Centipede?
If given a choice,
would you pick the front or back?
That is a tough one!
by Poetry Etiquette of Emily Post Toasties
Darth Figpucker's Guide
to the Finer Things in Life
Book Signing (dink pen)
by Pen Stealer of Using your pen to write this
Carrots, peas, onions
Beets, scallions, corn, ghost peppers
All haunting my shit
by I. Ain't afraid of No Ghost Peckers
Donald's not finished.
Q told me so. It's all fake.
Trump shall RISE AGAIN!
by A False Preacher of a False Profit
Shniffle doople plonk.
Shlop bop ba loo bop plah-doooo.
Rham-schtankerfiendom.
by z d x y j
Deserted island
Maybe wearing a loin cloth
Permanent boner
by Middle Aged of Blue Lagoon
Describe some more food
Almost as good as eating
Say something spicy
by I'll have of what Darth's having
Bad Haiku News
Trump Impeached again
Flint water: Rick Snyder charged
Trump "Don't pay Rudy"
by Crimson Mind of Phoenix, AZ
Quarantine boredom
Pleasure myself with haiku
Finish myself off
by hhtigerlily of Hotel Quarantine
Quarantine boredom
My hot online fantasy
Is just a ghost fuck
by hhtigerlily of Hotel Quarantine
Why are those boys proud?
They've not done anything good.
Counterexamples?
by It's a beautiful day in the neigborhood. of A beautiful day for a neighbor.
I will soon be home.
There I'll eat something yummy.
Maybe I'll tell you.
by Maybe not.
Diagonalized
subhyperdimensional
linearity.
I near pooped myself.
And it isn't even real.
Santa Claus told me.
by Curt Kobain's grandmother's dog's former owner's great granddaughter. of Or something.
That Szechuan haiku
Stolen from the Japanese
Cheap Chinese ripoffs
by Me Chinee, me play joke, me put peepee in yo Coke. of Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees, look at these!
That Szechuan chicken
With the three kinds of pepper
Better than haiku
by Poetry Toks of Bullshit Woks
Where the hell are you?
Come on now, don't die on me.
Tell me I'm so wrong!
by I know, you just have a hangover. of And dried up jizz from the boys you blew stuck in your hair.
What, you're still asleep?!
Get your fat ass out of bed!
Make some damn breakfast!
by Gordon Ramsay of And don't fuck up the eggs!
The dairy cow mooed.
The sheep just stared and bleated.
The pig did TikTok.
by I swear it's true!
What is wrong with you?
How can you post such vile filth?
What made you this way?
by Detailer of notices. of Decease and decyst.
I don't hate women,
but I sneak in their restrooms
and pee on the seats.
by Revenge against angry mother. of Starbucks Coffee, of course.
Infuse HIV
into the covid membrane.
Hey, it's worth a shot.
by Pesky humans. of Viruses Helping Viruses
How have I performed?
Please rate me at Yelp dot com.
I will send you nudes.
by Whore of Downtown
Do cows enjoy drugs?
We need to experiment
then survey the cows.
by GoFundMe/Donate/HappyCows of One dose for you, one for me... one for you... 10 for me.
At the capital
dose all the Proud Boy rebels.
It would have been fun.
by LSD will set you free.
Cars powered by farts
Breakdown on Methane Highway
They ran out of gas
by Siphoning Sucks of Ass
I'm not a robot
Ever heard of a robot
with a ten pound dink?
by Heavy Metal Headbangers and Balls of Preparing for shipment
Not asking for much
Just to blend in with your soul
If you still have one
by Soul of Whizzing around
In these troubled times
Mandatory pot smoking
Everybody puff
by Spot the Dragon of under Herman Munster's stairs
He left the seat up
She stabbed him fifty six times
Don't leave the seat up
by Men are gross of Pissed Off
I would be wary
of the large cassowary.
And too expensive!
by No one questions you about chickens. of Not sure how cassowary tastes though. Maybe really good.
That bird is a bitch
Everybody's talking 'bout
the Cassowary Bird
by Everybody of Everywhere
Let's talk pet monkeys
They need lots of attention
They'll fling shit at you
by I. Wantone of Now
Why haven't you tried
Car Wash fellatio ride
Afraid to get wet?
by No Attendant of On Duty
