Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 75 Days and 69834 Haikus later...

Shniffle doople plonk.
Shlop bop ba loo bop plah-doooo.
Haiku # 69609, January 14, 2021 8:58 am ET
by z d x y j
Deserted island
Maybe wearing a loin cloth
Permanent boner
Haiku # 69608, January 14, 2021 7:56 am ET
by Middle Aged of Blue Lagoon
Describe some more food
Almost as good as eating
Say something spicy
Haiku # 69607, January 14, 2021 7:46 am ET
by I'll have of what Darth's having
Bad Haiku News

Trump Impeached again
Flint water: Rick Snyder charged
Trump "Don't pay Rudy"
Haiku # 69606, January 14, 2021 7:25 am ET
by Crimson Mind of Phoenix, AZ
Quarantine boredom
Pleasure myself with haiku
Finish myself off
Haiku # 69605, January 14, 2021 2:40 am ET
by hhtigerlily of Hotel Quarantine
Quarantine boredom
My hot online fantasy
Is just a ghost fuck
Haiku # 69604, January 14, 2021 2:37 am ET
by hhtigerlily of Hotel Quarantine
Why are those boys proud?
They've not done anything good.
Haiku # 69603, January 14, 2021 1:20 am ET
by It's a beautiful day in the neigborhood. of A beautiful day for a neighbor.
I will soon be home.
There I'll eat something yummy.
Maybe I'll tell you.
Haiku # 69602, January 14, 2021 1:18 am ET
by Maybe not.

I near pooped myself.
And it isn't even real.
Santa Claus told me.
Haiku # 69601, January 14, 2021 1:15 am ET
by Curt Kobain's grandmother's dog's former owner's great granddaughter. of Or something.
That Szechuan haiku
Stolen from the Japanese
Cheap Chinese ripoffs
Haiku # 69600, January 13, 2021 11:13 pm ET
by Me Chinee, me play joke, me put peepee in yo Coke. of Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees, look at these!
That Szechuan chicken
With the three kinds of pepper
Better than haiku
Haiku # 69599, January 13, 2021 9:02 pm ET
by Poetry Toks of Bullshit Woks
Where the hell are you?
Come on now, don't die on me.
Tell me I'm so wrong!
Haiku # 69598, January 13, 2021 8:16 pm ET
by I know, you just have a hangover. of And dried up jizz from the boys you blew stuck in your hair.
What, you're still asleep?!
Get your fat ass out of bed!
Make some damn breakfast!
Haiku # 69597, January 13, 2021 10:06 am ET
by Gordon Ramsay of And don't fuck up the eggs!
The dairy cow mooed.
The sheep just stared and bleated.
The pig did TikTok.
Haiku # 69596, January 13, 2021 7:28 am ET
by I swear it's true!
What is wrong with you?
How can you post such vile filth?
What made you this way?
Haiku # 69595, January 13, 2021 6:01 am ET
by Detailer of notices. of Decease and decyst.
I don't hate women,
but I sneak in their restrooms
and pee on the seats.
Haiku # 69594, January 13, 2021 3:58 am ET
by Revenge against angry mother. of Starbucks Coffee, of course.
Infuse HIV
into the covid membrane.
Hey, it's worth a shot.
Haiku # 69593, January 13, 2021 3:55 am ET
by Pesky humans. of Viruses Helping Viruses
How have I performed?
Please rate me at Yelp dot com.
I will send you nudes.
Haiku # 69592, January 13, 2021 3:53 am ET
by Whore of Downtown
Do cows enjoy drugs?
We need to experiment
then survey the cows.
Haiku # 69591, January 13, 2021 3:49 am ET
by GoFundMe/Donate/HappyCows of One dose for you, one for me... one for you... 10 for me.
At the capital
dose all the Proud Boy rebels.
It would have been fun.
Haiku # 69590, January 13, 2021 3:33 am ET
by LSD will set you free.
Cars powered by farts
Breakdown on Methane Highway
They ran out of gas
Haiku # 69589, January 13, 2021 2:04 am ET
by Siphoning Sucks of Ass
I'm not a robot
Ever heard of a robot
with a ten pound dink?
Haiku # 69588, January 13, 2021 1:16 am ET
by Heavy Metal Headbangers and Balls of Preparing for shipment
best drugstore highlighter canada rx pharmacy
Haiku # 69587, January 12, 2021 11:23 pm ET
by Nllpsoony of Yako
Not asking for much
Just to blend in with your soul
If you still have one
Haiku # 69586, January 12, 2021 11:23 pm ET
by Soul of Whizzing around
In these troubled times
Mandatory pot smoking
Everybody puff
Haiku # 69585, January 12, 2021 11:18 pm ET
by Spot the Dragon of under Herman Munster's stairs
He left the seat up
She stabbed him fifty six times
Don't leave the seat up
Haiku # 69584, January 12, 2021 11:12 pm ET
by Men are gross of Pissed Off
I would be wary
of the large cassowary.
And too expensive!
Haiku # 69583, January 12, 2021 11:03 pm ET
by No one questions you about chickens. of Not sure how cassowary tastes though. Maybe really good.
That bird is a bitch
Everybody's talking 'bout
the Cassowary Bird
Haiku # 69582, January 12, 2021 10:34 pm ET
by Everybody of Everywhere
Let's talk pet monkeys
They need lots of attention
They'll fling shit at you
Haiku # 69581, January 12, 2021 10:31 pm ET
by I. Wantone of Now
Why haven't you tried
Car Wash fellatio ride
Afraid to get wet?
Haiku # 69580, January 12, 2021 10:26 pm ET
by No Attendant of On Duty
Haiku # 69579, January 12, 2021 10:21 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I ate someone good.
So my haiku are glowing.
Or my face is glazed.
Haiku # 69578, January 12, 2021 10:20 pm ET
by Fine dining w/o the cheese.
Name an animal
that you fuck before eating
tick tock tick tock tick
Haiku # 69577, January 12, 2021 10:17 pm ET
by Phil Everyhole of Wild New Game Show premiering Hump Night
Darth, this batch of Haikus is gold

You must have eaten something good or got laid
Haiku # 69576, January 12, 2021 10:13 pm ET
by Gatita
Fartologist, I.
My autobiography.
Catchy title, no?
Haiku # 69575, January 12, 2021 9:23 pm ET
by Disenjambment Society. of Would you like some Lord of the Flies with that Shakespear?
Fartologist, I.
My autobiography
title. Catchy, no?
Haiku # 69574, January 12, 2021 9:16 pm ET
by Darth Whorendous, ancient Sith Lord of the Gas Planets. Things are getting heavy.
Methane emissions
of dairy bovine pollute
the earth's atmosphere.

Almost as bad as
cars' fossil fuel combustion.
We need cow gas traps.

Put that waste to use.
Like for cooking hamburgers!
Where will it all end?!
Haiku # 69573, January 12, 2021 9:14 pm ET
by We need an asteroid. of A really, really BIG one. Like the "dinks" you enjoy.
Roger Water's song
called "Our Song" with Ron Geeson.
There are no Pan flutes.
Haiku # 69572, January 12, 2021 9:02 pm ET
by Music from The Body of By the way, which one's Pink?
If you eat horse dinks,
do you chop them while erect?
Juicier that way?
Haiku # 69571, January 12, 2021 8:37 pm ET
by I've got to give that a try! of Maybe carabao dink substitute.
Nothing plugs me up.
Regular as a pigeon.
Just like Old Faithful.

High-powered weapon.
Even butt-plugs won't plug me.
Three, two, one - KA-BOOM!

Sorry 'bout the mess.
But only just a little.
New spackled ceilings.
Haiku # 69570, January 12, 2021 8:33 pm ET
by So, have you had covid yet? of If so, how did you enjoy it? -- Your's Truly, China
I think you like cheese
because it plugs you up
That's my butt feeling
Haiku # 69569, January 12, 2021 8:01 pm ET
by Fart Scientist of Laboratory (pronounced lavatory)
Expensive cheese
you'd prostitute yourself for
I know you well, Darth
Haiku # 69568, January 12, 2021 7:58 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of Under old willow
Diarrhea jig
Wearing a brown tartan kilt
made from last night's stew
Haiku # 69567, January 12, 2021 7:52 pm ET
by Fartin' Tartan of 2 -ply, Scotland
Fart syncopation
accompanied by pan flute
K-Tel Order Now
Haiku # 69566, January 12, 2021 7:45 pm ET
by Flootie Patootie of Ghost pepper shootout
Leave us pigs alone
Let us roll in mud and shit
Go eat somewhere else
Haiku # 69565, January 12, 2021 7:39 pm ET
by Disgruntled Pig of Rolling in mud and shit
You are very wise
Reading that made me crave pork
and also fear pork
Haiku # 69564, January 12, 2021 7:33 pm ET
by Gravy of Totally Toxic
Where are you horse dinks?
How 'bout a shout-out for me?
John Boy Walton's mole
Haiku # 69563, January 12, 2021 7:29 pm ET
by John Boy Walton's Mole of Cheek
Oh, I will eat pork.
Especially if free bacon.
Jewish tradition.

I love a ham sub.
Lots of veggies and dijon.
On toasted wheat bread.

But roast pork is gross.
The flavor can't be erased.
It tastes so... toxic.
Haiku # 69562, January 12, 2021 7:28 pm ET
by Loaded with pesticides growth hormone. Seriously, get a pig raised on good food, it tastes pretty good. Philippinos have a way of fucking up food beyond comprehension. Should have moved to Thailand. Live & learn... Live at any rate.
Since Darth gave up pork
He's forgotten how it tastes
He's got hamnesia
Haiku # 69561, January 12, 2021 11:15 am ET
by Meathead of Memory Lane
If you masturbate
to pictures of Donald Trump,
then you're a Proud Boy.
Haiku # 69560, January 12, 2021 7:39 am ET
by And vice versa.
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