I'm retarded
The relationship's not real
But still fucked it up.
by Lacklustre of Hotel Quarantine
Happy New Year!!! www.google.com
by Molley www.google.com of a point or extent in space
Oh Darth. You BORE me.
I daresay I'll repeat it:
How you BORE me Darth.
by Condescending of Five More Degrees
Hot humid weather
makes the crickets sing loudly.
Predator's coming.
by Sexual Stealing of Prince's other song.
A hippie pigeon
lives in a pigeon co-op,
And po-ops on cars.
by Bad Dad Jokes 101
Are pigeons friendly?
Reserve bread crusts from your toast
Pigeon enjoy gifts
by Pigeon of Pigeon Coop
You are so worthless.
Nothing but a parasite.
Born and raised that way.
by Your mom is so proud. of course all your friends as well.
Do not become gay
so you can stay regular.
"Gay" will plug you up!
by Constellation Constipation of I just took a stellar dump!
how much will it cost
to hire a prostitute
that one can poop on?
by Asking for Noticer. of She's too embarased
Give in to your hate.
Let the Dark Side consume you.
Have a hit of this.
by Fulfill your destiny. And my wallet.
Not constipated.
I guess you weren't listening.
But you never did.
by Close mouth, open ears, open mind, fart. of Let it all out.
The Honeymoon Suite
A penis dressed like Elvis
rests on crushed velvet
by Noticer of Details of TMZ
C'mon high roller
Let's run off to Vegas, Darth
(Clink) Jackpot spilling
by Feline Hitchhiker of Getting off on the on ramp
Pigeons are fine birds
Consider it your good luck
when they shit on you
by A. Pigeon of Rooftop
Let's Netflix and chill
Sorry about the frostbite
Clam shipped in dry ice
by Concerned and Nosy of Undisclosed
Mild Constipation
His Blood Type: Expensive Cheese
Atypical dink
by Baffled Physician of holding green stool sample
Hey, get off your ass!
Hey, why are you on my ass?
Hey, you're an asshole.
by G. Yurassismelli of Back door
Penis Repair Shop
This one's having a solder
That one can't be fixed
by Huge Bill of Invoice on a messy desk
Barracuda jaws
You weren't paying attention
Clampdown on your dink
by Martha Raye of Grave
Water bear orgy?!
That's soooo retardigraded!
But I think you'll go.
by Box of condoms for your birthday.
Pursuit of penis.
Three is no intellegence.
Tardigrades also fuck.
Strife, puberty, and
the pursuit of a penis.
Alien able.
Emansipation.
Set your own Goddamn self free.
You fat, lazy whore.
by The Prostiution of The United States of 'Murica. Emansepation constipation separation -- rid yourself of like shit, I did! I do declare! Forty-second Ammendment.
The drunken pattern.
She Mandel-brought the red wine.
But then he escaped.
Back to the gay bar.
Where things got a bit messy.
BifurcatingPoo.
by But I'm sure you knew.
Always in pursuit
Of the bigger better bang.
Pure astrophysics.
by Theories of Intelligent Design
Always in pursuit
Of the bigger better bang.
Pure astrophysics.
by Theories of Intelligent Design
Solar ejections:
Spasmodic spurts into space
From the corona
by Sexy Solar Flares of Outer Space
Please do not fear the
gaseous ejaculate.
Here's a free sample.
by Clean your glasses.
Maybe it's a worm.
Maybe it's a pachyderm.
Ether makes me squirm.
by Enticer of the snails.
Let us reminisce
the penile flatulence.
Effervescent sperm.
by Maybe it's a worm.
One-eyed prostitute.
I'll keep an eye out for you.
Glass eye lubricant.
by Lubricant pube you can't of Find in the behind the old stinky pussy won't-oh
The junk's in the trunk.
I wet humped the cheese thinking
Of your dry pillow.
by Can't you get your facts straight?! of Nothing but fake news and lies your entire life!
Under old willow
Darth dry humped his pillow. (moan)
whilst thinking of cheese
by Legends of of Haiku Fairy Tales
Do you look for slime?
I didn't see much eyeballs
or any pubes
by Noticer of Details of Under old willow
The centipede's junk
How do you tell the difference?
Like, what end's the junk?
by Carcass Tosser of Haiku Junkyard
When we speak of food,
should it be before eaten,
or when it comes out?
Or continuous
recycling like in The
Human Centipede?
If given a choice,
would you pick the front or back?
That is a tough one!
by Poetry Etiquette of Emily Post Toasties
Darth Figpucker's Guide
to the Finer Things in Life
Book Signing (dink pen)
by Pen Stealer of Using your pen to write this
Carrots, peas, onions
Beets, scallions, corn, ghost peppers
All haunting my shit
by I. Ain't afraid of No Ghost Peckers
Donald's not finished.
Q told me so. It's all fake.
Trump shall RISE AGAIN!
by A False Preacher of a False Profit
Shniffle doople plonk.
Shlop bop ba loo bop plah-doooo.
Rham-schtankerfiendom.
by z d x y j
Deserted island
Maybe wearing a loin cloth
Permanent boner
by Middle Aged of Blue Lagoon
Describe some more food
Almost as good as eating
Say something spicy
by I'll have of what Darth's having
Bad Haiku News
Trump Impeached again
Flint water: Rick Snyder charged
Trump "Don't pay Rudy"
by Crimson Mind of Phoenix, AZ
Quarantine boredom
Pleasure myself with haiku
Finish myself off
by hhtigerlily of Hotel Quarantine
Quarantine boredom
My hot online fantasy
Is just a ghost fuck
by hhtigerlily of Hotel Quarantine
Why are those boys proud?
They've not done anything good.
Counterexamples?
by It's a beautiful day in the neigborhood. of A beautiful day for a neighbor.
I will soon be home.
There I'll eat something yummy.
Maybe I'll tell you.
by Maybe not.
Diagonalized
subhyperdimensional
linearity.
I near pooped myself.
And it isn't even real.
Santa Claus told me.
by Curt Kobain's grandmother's dog's former owner's great granddaughter. of Or something.
That Szechuan haiku
Stolen from the Japanese
Cheap Chinese ripoffs
by Me Chinee, me play joke, me put peepee in yo Coke. of Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees, look at these!
That Szechuan chicken
With the three kinds of pepper
Better than haiku
by Poetry Toks of Bullshit Woks
Where the hell are you?
Come on now, don't die on me.
Tell me I'm so wrong!
by I know, you just have a hangover. of And dried up jizz from the boys you blew stuck in your hair.
What, you're still asleep?!
Get your fat ass out of bed!
Make some damn breakfast!
by Gordon Ramsay of And don't fuck up the eggs!
