Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 255 Days and 77188 Haiku later...

How many Dead shows
did you attend back in the
proverbial day?
Haiku # 69678, January 18, 2021 10:30 pm ET
by Puddled and Cuddled.
You needed Phil Lesh
to warn you about McDo?
Just a Box of Pain.
Haiku # 69677, January 18, 2021 9:47 pm ET
by Unhappy meals. of Adult toy surprise in the box.
Don't eat McDonald's
You will make stinky pudding
Fucking McNuggets
Haiku # 69676, January 18, 2021 9:15 pm ET
by Phil Lesh
Covid's decreasing.
That's 'cause Biden's president.
It's afraid of him.
Haiku # 69675, January 18, 2021 9:03 pm ET
by Tee hee hee snicker snort fart. of Trust the Media!
The year's best moments.
How about that Beruit blast?
That was lots of fun.

Location's not great.
Could have been somewhere better.
Like maybe Tulsa.
Haiku # 69674, January 18, 2021 8:38 am ET
by Or Disneyland. of Or Dull-ass Texass. And it needs to be under a raw sewage tank to spread shit through the air so you can breathe it.
Blue dingleberries.
A modern art masterpiece
On a baboon's ass.
Haiku # 69673, January 18, 2021 8:30 am ET
by No denying it, of course.
This is dumb.
I'm going to go watch South Park.
Donuts and beer.
Haiku # 69672, January 18, 2021 5:54 am ET
by Homer Simpson
Macadamia nuts.
College is a bit crazy.
Acadamia nuts.
Haiku # 69671, January 17, 2021 11:09 pm ET
by Deez nutz. of On your chin.
I am certain that
boobies are just booby traps.
Give me an Amen!
Haiku # 69670, January 17, 2021 6:57 pm ET
by Reaching Preacher
It's so Biblical.
The Palestine Intestine.
Let's set off some bombs!
Haiku # 69669, January 17, 2021 6:56 pm ET
by Booby trap fecal bombs w/ shrapnel. of soooo deadly!
Have you ever played
Tiddlywinks in grade school?
Sadly, I didn't.

I don't even know
what the hell that game's about.
So why is it sad?!
Haiku # 69668, January 17, 2021 6:53 pm ET
by I should go ask Lemmiwinks. of Knock knock knock... excuse me, is this the lower intestine?
Murder is okay.
Especially if you're a
record producer.

Spector was a member of Spectre.
James Bond framed him for murder.
That's the real news.
Haiku # 69667, January 17, 2021 6:47 pm ET
by You heard it here first! of Real News! Fantastic reporting. The best reporting.
Good High-Poo-Poos

I made a big fart.
I made a really big fart.
And another fart.
Haiku # 69666, January 17, 2021 5:40 pm ET
by And no one cares.
My father punched him
Riding an elevator
I liked Phil Spector
Haiku # 69665, January 17, 2021 12:50 pm ET
by Gatita Estrella
Bad Haiku News

Phil Spector has died
Betty White turns 99
Packers beat the Rams
Haiku # 69664, January 17, 2021 12:28 pm ET
by Crimson Mind of Phoenix, AZ
Bad Haiku News

Hot Pockets recalled
Police kill autistic boy
NRA Bankrupt
Haiku # 69663, January 17, 2021 12:27 pm ET
by Crimson Mind of Phoenix, AZ
So he likes to nap.
I'm sure I'd fall asleep too.
Fucking politics.
Haiku # 69662, January 17, 2021 11:59 am ET
by We need to discuss my balls. of Enough of this monkey chatter.
Most popular prez
Since Reagan or Obama:
Sleepy Joe. Yeah, right...
Haiku # 69661, January 17, 2021 5:23 am ET
by Barbed Wire of The Capitol
McDo is the juicy cheap whore of fast food. If you don't eat the buns, you're missing what you paid for.
Haiku # 69660, January 17, 2021 4:20 am ET
by dw
Jump
Hump
Stump
Frump
Lump
Sump
Pump
Dump
Thump
Haiku # 69659, January 17, 2021 4:15 am ET
by Gump of Dump
ump
bump
chump
clump
dump
grump
gump
hump
jump
lump
plump
pump
slump
stump
Trump
Haiku # 69658, January 17, 2021 4:13 am ET
by You gonna make sUMPin' of it?!
He likes McDonald's
But he doesn't eat the buns
He likes "fish delight"
Haiku # 69657, January 17, 2021 4:12 am ET
by Does this count?
Okay, I got one!
All the words that rhyme with Trump.
Hump, rump, dump, lump, clump...
Haiku # 69656, January 17, 2021 4:08 am ET
by etc. of When Trump took a dump, I humped his rump, "thump, thump thump" and shot a lump on the stump.
I am curious.
Name one good thing about Trump.
Is it possible?
Haiku # 69655, January 17, 2021 2:42 am ET
by My parents think so. of I have my doubts.
I don't send my nudes.
I'll dance for you in person.
Check out me arsehole.
Haiku # 69654, January 17, 2021 2:41 am ET
by Donning naughty pirate garb. of The treasure's down under.
You don't need no Trump
Darth Figpucker's way more sexy
He'll email you nudes
Haiku # 69653, January 17, 2021 1:48 am ET
by Darth 2020 Stop the Squeal of In(box) always full
But he's so sexy.
I'm in love with Donald Trump.
He can move on me.
Haiku # 69652, January 17, 2021 12:32 am ET
by Redneck church woman with good reasons to vote. of Nashville
The My Pillow Guy
Bedtime Stories for Old Men
who act like babies
Haiku # 69651, January 17, 2021 12:16 am ET
by Meteorologist of Forecasting Tears of Trumpers
Popcorn?! For breakfast?!
Who the hell you think you are?!
Go watch your Hentai!
Haiku # 69650, January 16, 2021 10:08 pm ET
by Me to my 4 yo son. of Urotsukidoji universe.
Long long pig shlong song.
Extra spicy Jimmy Dean.
You know what I mean.

Grind, stuffed from behind.
Spices and preservatives.
Hold the MSG.

Too greasy for me.
I'll have raisin oatmeal.
Thank you very much.
Haiku # 69649, January 16, 2021 10:01 pm ET
by And a coffee. of course! That goes w/o saying.
It's all a con game.
Whores can't have relationships.
Or happy children.
Haiku # 69648, January 16, 2021 9:54 pm ET
by Here's some money, now leave.
Poop poop poop dink dink.
Darth Darth Darth Darth long pig Darth.
Dinky poopy dink.
Haiku # 69647, January 16, 2021 9:52 pm ET
by Generic Noticer Poem Generator of Download the app at Google Store.
I'm retarded
The relationship's not real
But still fucked it up.
Haiku # 69646, January 16, 2021 6:19 pm ET
by Lacklustre of Hotel Quarantine
Happy New Year!!! www.google.com
Haiku # 69645, January 16, 2021 5:10 pm ET
by Molley www.google.com of a point or extent in space
Oh Darth. You BORE me.
I daresay I'll repeat it:
How you BORE me Darth.
Haiku # 69644, January 16, 2021 3:38 pm ET
by Condescending of Five More Degrees
Hot humid weather
makes the crickets sing loudly.
Predator's coming.
Haiku # 69643, January 16, 2021 8:57 am ET
by Sexual Stealing of Prince's other song.
A hippie pigeon
lives in a pigeon co-op,
And po-ops on cars.
Haiku # 69642, January 16, 2021 7:15 am ET
by Bad Dad Jokes 101
Are pigeons friendly?
Reserve bread crusts from your toast
Pigeon enjoy gifts
Haiku # 69641, January 16, 2021 4:53 am ET
by Pigeon of Pigeon Coop
You are so worthless.
Nothing but a parasite.
Born and raised that way.
Haiku # 69640, January 15, 2021 11:47 pm ET
by Your mom is so proud. of course all your friends as well.
Do not become gay
so you can stay regular.
"Gay" will plug you up!
Haiku # 69639, January 15, 2021 10:53 pm ET
by Constellation Constipation of I just took a stellar dump!
how much will it cost
to hire a prostitute
that one can poop on?
Haiku # 69638, January 15, 2021 10:45 pm ET
by Asking for Noticer. of She's too embarased
Give in to your hate.
Let the Dark Side consume you.
Have a hit of this.
Haiku # 69637, January 15, 2021 10:43 pm ET
by Fulfill your destiny. And my wallet.
Not constipated.
I guess you weren't listening.
But you never did.
Haiku # 69636, January 15, 2021 10:42 pm ET
by Close mouth, open ears, open mind, fart. of Let it all out.
The Honeymoon Suite
A penis dressed like Elvis
rests on crushed velvet
Haiku # 69635, January 15, 2021 10:00 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of TMZ
C'mon high roller
Let's run off to Vegas, Darth
(Clink) Jackpot spilling
Haiku # 69634, January 15, 2021 9:41 pm ET
by Feline Hitchhiker of Getting off on the on ramp
Pigeons are fine birds
Consider it your good luck
when they shit on you
Haiku # 69633, January 15, 2021 9:35 pm ET
by A. Pigeon of Rooftop
Let's Netflix and chill
Sorry about the frostbite
Clam shipped in dry ice
Haiku # 69632, January 15, 2021 9:32 pm ET
by Concerned and Nosy of Undisclosed
Mild Constipation
His Blood Type: Expensive Cheese
Atypical dink
Haiku # 69631, January 15, 2021 9:22 pm ET
by Baffled Physician of holding green stool sample
Hey, get off your ass!
Hey, why are you on my ass?
Hey, you're an asshole.
Haiku # 69630, January 15, 2021 8:07 pm ET
by G. Yurassismelli of Back door
Penis Repair Shop
This one's having a solder
That one can't be fixed
Haiku # 69629, January 15, 2021 8:01 pm ET
by Huge Bill of Invoice on a messy desk
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