Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 217 Days and 77133 Haiku later...

Listen, this is Q
Where we go one we go all
We’re taking a shit
Haiku # 69698, January 21, 2021 6:02 am ET
by Group Effort of Latrine
Listen, this is Q
Looking for a new Shaman
Bring your own horns, please
Haiku # 69697, January 21, 2021 5:59 am ET
by Direct Deposit of Manure Bank
Listen, this is Q
John F. Kennedy Jr.
has left the building
Haiku # 69696, January 21, 2021 2:43 am ET
by Q-Tip of Pushed in too far
Quarantined and bored?
Have you ever dressed your dink
in Barbie doll clothes?
Haiku # 69695, January 20, 2021 9:20 pm ET
by Members Only monthly subscription box of Tiny shoes even stay on with natural “glue” (not included)
It’s like the nation
Passed a YUGE Orange kaka
after much grunting
Haiku # 69694, January 20, 2021 9:12 pm ET
by Rhoda Rooter of Patooter
plus ca change encore
the end of one weird era
for the time being
Haiku # 69693, January 20, 2021 6:46 pm ET
by ash
Give me more money.
I'll pay you back tomorrow.
You're such a good friend.
Haiku # 69692, January 20, 2021 6:44 pm ET
by I love you, brother!
China is happy.
So now it's back to Business.
Import more cheap shit.
Haiku # 69691, January 20, 2021 2:48 pm ET
by Fidget toys and fart smones. of 1.6 year life span
*sparklers.
Haiku # 69690, January 20, 2021 2:41 pm ET
by See, already getting back to normal. of Typos and all.
Now Biden's POTUS.
Corona will disappear.
Funny how that works.

Because of vaccines.
That is what "experts" will say.
But it's all Biden.

All back to normal.
Fourth of July Freedom Fest.
Orgies and spaklers.
Haiku # 69689, January 20, 2021 2:38 pm ET
by DW
having drained us all
there's one good thing about trump
he's leaving the swamp
Haiku # 69688, January 20, 2021 6:33 am ET
by ash
Almost every day
Darth Figpucker sprays his bum
after a big poop
Haiku # 69687, January 20, 2021 12:41 am ET
by Taint Clean of Fart Farm
Have you ever thought
The ocean is like a soup
Live seafood chowder
Haiku # 69686, January 20, 2021 12:29 am ET
by Noticed of Details of Shore
of course you know that
I don’t want you in my car
It’s your flatulence
Haiku # 69685, January 20, 2021 12:25 am ET
by Flatulence of will get you nowhere
I ate a whole pint
of Cherry Garcia, bruh
We must be psychic
Haiku # 69684, January 20, 2021 12:20 am ET
by I’d rather not say of Exploding glucometer
I'm not a huge fan.
But Main Street sure was a blast.
Veggie burritos!
Haiku # 69683, January 19, 2021 7:40 pm ET
by and tripping balls.
So, how many shows...
A little less than fifty
Eighties and nineties
Haiku # 69682, January 19, 2021 11:36 am ET
by Never saw them in the pig pen era.
Just say N2O.
The good old nitrous oxide.
Waaa waaa waaa waaa waaa
Haiku # 69681, January 19, 2021 8:06 am ET
by Steve Martin of Dentist's Office.
Laughing gas balloons.
Huffed plenty of them back then.
And sold them also.
Haiku # 69680, January 19, 2021 7:59 am ET
by Good times!
Jut a box of pain?
That made my ass laugh out loud
Which is a problem.

My ass should not laugh
Or maybe it's McNuggets
Making laughing gas
Haiku # 69679, January 19, 2021 7:14 am ET
by Phil Lesh of Huffing butts
How many Dead shows
did you attend back in the
proverbial day?
Haiku # 69678, January 18, 2021 10:30 pm ET
by Puddled and Cuddled.
You needed Phil Lesh
to warn you about McDo?
Just a Box of Pain.
Haiku # 69677, January 18, 2021 9:47 pm ET
by Unhappy meals. of Adult toy surprise in the box.
Don't eat McDonald's
You will make stinky pudding
Fucking McNuggets
Haiku # 69676, January 18, 2021 9:15 pm ET
by Phil Lesh
Covid's decreasing.
That's 'cause Biden's president.
It's afraid of him.
Haiku # 69675, January 18, 2021 9:03 pm ET
by Tee hee hee snicker snort fart. of Trust the Media!
The year's best moments.
How about that Beruit blast?
That was lots of fun.

Location's not great.
Could have been somewhere better.
Like maybe Tulsa.
Haiku # 69674, January 18, 2021 8:38 am ET
by Or Disneyland. of Or Dull-ass Texass. And it needs to be under a raw sewage tank to spread shit through the air so you can breathe it.
Blue dingleberries.
A modern art masterpiece
On a baboon's ass.
Haiku # 69673, January 18, 2021 8:30 am ET
by No denying it, of course.
This is dumb.
I'm going to go watch South Park.
Donuts and beer.
Haiku # 69672, January 18, 2021 5:54 am ET
by Homer Simpson
Macadamia nuts.
College is a bit crazy.
Acadamia nuts.
Haiku # 69671, January 17, 2021 11:09 pm ET
by Deez nutz. of On your chin.
I am certain that
boobies are just booby traps.
Give me an Amen!
Haiku # 69670, January 17, 2021 6:57 pm ET
by Reaching Preacher
It's so Biblical.
The Palestine Intestine.
Let's set off some bombs!
Haiku # 69669, January 17, 2021 6:56 pm ET
by Booby trap fecal bombs w/ shrapnel. of soooo deadly!
Have you ever played
Tiddlywinks in grade school?
Sadly, I didn't.

I don't even know
what the hell that game's about.
So why is it sad?!
Haiku # 69668, January 17, 2021 6:53 pm ET
by I should go ask Lemmiwinks. of Knock knock knock... excuse me, is this the lower intestine?
Murder is okay.
Especially if you're a
record producer.

Spector was a member of Spectre.
James Bond framed him for murder.
That's the real news.
Haiku # 69667, January 17, 2021 6:47 pm ET
by You heard it here first! of Real News! Fantastic reporting. The best reporting.
Good High-Poo-Poos

I made a big fart.
I made a really big fart.
And another fart.
Haiku # 69666, January 17, 2021 5:40 pm ET
by And no one cares.
My father punched him
Riding an elevator
I liked Phil Spector
Haiku # 69665, January 17, 2021 12:50 pm ET
by Gatita Estrella
Bad Haiku News

Phil Spector has died
Betty White turns 99
Packers beat the Rams
Haiku # 69664, January 17, 2021 12:28 pm ET
by Crimson Mind of Phoenix, AZ
Bad Haiku News

Hot Pockets recalled
Police kill autistic boy
NRA Bankrupt
Haiku # 69663, January 17, 2021 12:27 pm ET
by Crimson Mind of Phoenix, AZ
So he likes to nap.
I'm sure I'd fall asleep too.
Fucking politics.
Haiku # 69662, January 17, 2021 11:59 am ET
by We need to discuss my balls. of Enough of this monkey chatter.
Most popular prez
Since Reagan or Obama:
Sleepy Joe. Yeah, right...
Haiku # 69661, January 17, 2021 5:23 am ET
by Barbed Wire of The Capitol
McDo is the juicy cheap whore of fast food. If you don't eat the buns, you're missing what you paid for.
Haiku # 69660, January 17, 2021 4:20 am ET
by dw
Jump
Hump
Stump
Frump
Lump
Sump
Pump
Dump
Thump
Haiku # 69659, January 17, 2021 4:15 am ET
by Gump of Dump
ump
bump
chump
clump
dump
grump
gump
hump
jump
lump
plump
pump
slump
stump
Trump
Haiku # 69658, January 17, 2021 4:13 am ET
by You gonna make sUMPin' of it?!
He likes McDonald's
But he doesn't eat the buns
He likes "fish delight"
Haiku # 69657, January 17, 2021 4:12 am ET
by Does this count?
Okay, I got one!
All the words that rhyme with Trump.
Hump, rump, dump, lump, clump...
Haiku # 69656, January 17, 2021 4:08 am ET
by etc. of When Trump took a dump, I humped his rump, "thump, thump thump" and shot a lump on the stump.
I am curious.
Name one good thing about Trump.
Is it possible?
Haiku # 69655, January 17, 2021 2:42 am ET
by My parents think so. of I have my doubts.
I don't send my nudes.
I'll dance for you in person.
Check out me arsehole.
Haiku # 69654, January 17, 2021 2:41 am ET
by Donning naughty pirate garb. of The treasure's down under.
You don't need no Trump
Darth Figpucker's way more sexy
He'll email you nudes
Haiku # 69653, January 17, 2021 1:48 am ET
by Darth 2020 Stop the Squeal of In(box) always full
But he's so sexy.
I'm in love with Donald Trump.
He can move on me.
Haiku # 69652, January 17, 2021 12:32 am ET
by Redneck church woman with good reasons to vote. of Nashville
The My Pillow Guy
Bedtime Stories for Old Men
who act like babies
Haiku # 69651, January 17, 2021 12:16 am ET
by Meteorologist of Forecasting Tears of Trumpers
Popcorn?! For breakfast?!
Who the hell you think you are?!
Go watch your Hentai!
Haiku # 69650, January 16, 2021 10:08 pm ET
by Me to my 4 yo son. of Urotsukidoji universe.
Long long pig shlong song.
Extra spicy Jimmy Dean.
You know what I mean.

Grind, stuffed from behind.
Spices and preservatives.
Hold the MSG.

Too greasy for me.
I'll have raisin oatmeal.
Thank you very much.
Haiku # 69649, January 16, 2021 10:01 pm ET
by And a coffee. of course! That goes w/o saying.
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