My balls have been washed.
Now I rest them on your nose.
And proceed to fist.
by Please hold down the noise.
We need a new strain.
Resistant to all vaccines.
I would celebrate.
by Darth Whorendous of Under the sea in an octopus' garden in the shade
Oh my goodness Darth.
You're so very rude and crude.
You made me blush. Twice.
by Sweet Virginal Miss of Missionary Parents 1910
Submit on her tit.
Resume resignation.
Beats impregnation.
by ZZ Top of Jewelry story.
As seen on TV.
It's not cool to poop your pants.
Cement mix butt plugs.
Next day Fiber One.
And a large cappuccino.
Please keep your distance.
by Suppose suppository story of messy and gory.
Cannibal Hookers.
It was not a good movie.
I thought it would be.
by Catchy title though.
Should Santa Claus sue?
Green Giant stole his catch phrase.
Like how wrong is that?!
by always buy fresh. of Fuck that canned and frozen shite.
Hey, look over there.
The grass is always greener.
Just like my penis.
by Ho ho ho. Green Giant.
Fillipina whores.
Their cunts stink like rotten pork.
You are what you eat.
by The island girls are what you want... city girls, NO! of At home, considering getting drunk tonight.
Just pee on yourself.
Water sport masturbation.
Pretend it's a whore.
by Save your money. of Your friendly neighborhood financial advisor.
I am so angry
The whores will not piss on me
Where's the circle jerk?
by Your dad's basement
People are angry
And that just pisses me off
A vicious circle
by What goes around comes around
Forget the money.
An asteroid will kill us.
Jeff Bezos told me.
by The rich guys are escaping! of Do up all the drugs you can!
I need more money.
Would you mind sending me some.
PayPal accepted.
by Darthfigpucker2@gmail.com of Asian schoolgirl hookers and cocaine ain't cheap, you know.
That guy's kind of hot.
Japanese Deliverance.
Flop like a fish, boy!
by Eat my rotten hotdog! of Wear this school girl dress!
If I was Goku,
I'd punch that rotten dog guy.
Watch his head fly off.
by And feed his guts to Pikachu. of The old Olympic stadium. Tetsuo!!!!
Here is my receipt.
I want my money returned.
But I mean right now!
by And free cocaine and blowjobs.
I wholeheartedly
concur about the website's
ugly new look. Puke.
by DW of Running to the bathroom to vomit in digust.
Seriously though,
Someone ruined this site's look.
Was it on purpose?
by Planned Obsolescence of Haikai Hookilau
Bad typography.
It wasn't broke. Why fix it?
Times New Roman. Yuck.
by Haiku Design Committee of Royal House of Sa'ud
If the dog won't eat,
try feeding it chocolate
instead of verses.
by I'd rather own a cobra. of Dogs are so effing noisy and shit all over the place.
You want a reFILL.
I'll fill something, but maybe
not your prescription.
Leave the hospital.
Go out and cough at people.
It's a free country.
I would love covid.
It's like legalized murder.
*cough cough* Hi, grandma.
by You just need a good back alley ghetto fisting. of That'll chase the covid from your cootchie.
Dr. Figpucker
Please refill my prescription
The best medicine
by Noticer of Details of 19th Floor of Covid Hotel
Waffles or pancakes.
Coffee or cappuccino.
Bacon or Sausage.
by Aren't you special. You have choices. You think it's freedom.
Read this super fast.
Advertisement disclaimer.
Causes nasty shit.
by Cancer, internal bleeding, blindness, swollen testicals, exploding ovaries, and enjoying Justin Beiber. of And all kinds of shit the censors won't let us say.
So who got covid?
Noticer, ash, vhs?
Germs hate my poems.
by DW. read my horrible poetry and you'll be better in no time.... but is the cure worth it? of may cause hematoma, coma, herpes, genital warts, AIDS, leave a bad taste, and/or cancer.
Reincarnation.
Born in a wet cow pasture.
What was I before?
by Holy shit, I'm a mushroom! of Well, this is cool.
I forgot my name.
I remember my number.
No longer human.
by 12076-064 of My momma always said, "Monster is as monster does."
Parting the Red Sea
Synchronized Menstruation
at the Public Pool
by Flo (Team Captain) of You won’t be cramping our style
Frogs prefer the swamp.
Swimming pools are much too harsh.
Too few bugs to eat.
Frog's ballet buffet.
Mosquito larvae dancing.
Olympics be damned.
by Love those spready shots. of Synchronized prick tease.
Donald Trump once said
The Washington Monument
is a huge dildo
He wasn’t joking
Quote: “Property of
Lady Liberty”
by Redacted of Redacted
Let's discuss toe jam.
Neglected bodily goo.
Drill sargeants love it.
But it's so boring.
It doesn't stink or spurt out.
It's not sexual.
It's not that ugly.
It's hidden away unseen.
Earwax is less dull.
by I feel bad for toe jam. of No one cares about it, excpet drill instructors with a hard on to gripe.
I'm not picketing.
I'm just picking my boogers.
Slash food expenses.
by Happy hobo
Considered good luck
when pigeon poop on your head
Man goo no such luck
by Say No to Man Made Heavy Whipping Cream of Picketing in front of Trump Towers
Have you ever wanked
to throw it off a high rise
and splat those below?
by That, sir, was no pigeon. of Trump Tower
Masturbatory:
Strip club without alcohol.
Sober reflections.
by But the tattoos are still trashy.
How can I top that?
I know, I’ll let out some farts
uh oh those aren’t farts
by Loosey Goosey of Look for the telltale stain and shitface grin
Visit nursing homes.
Old people are such a drain.
Cough and sneeze on them.
by Visit my ex and her mom too.
Go spread it around.
Because sharing is caring.
Less humans is good.
by We need more monsters. of That write bad haiku.
Forgot to tell you
that I tested positive
for Covid-19
by Human Torch of Burning Up
Her clitoris popped.
Like an enormous pimple.
Or John Belushi.
The beige cream filling.
Like Duncan's Bavarian.
Thank God for coffee.
by If you need to clear your cash, just send it to me.
so i cleared the cache
well fuck me with a great rake
like a stone garden
praise be to janis
patron goddess of haiku
mother of poets
by ash of bearing the shame of being a macroscopic retardigrade
bereft of comfort
for what was write is now wrong
and does unbelong
by ash of time for therapy
without a great wave
where is the huge manatee
still able to surf ?
by ash of non-pacific error identified
hokusai is gone
and a great wave of sadness
breaks on my browser
by ash of firefox layout tsunami disaster zone
firefox breaks your site
making bad poetry worse
than it has to be
by ash of alternative browser fandom
bears of little brain
when tardigrades act stupid
they're retardigrades
by ash
My apologies
An argument over mice
We hissed and made up
by Cat of Alley
The cat howled loudly.
Was it fighting or fucking?
I chose not to look.
by Minding my own.
At this time each day
A wee turtle head pokes out
Splashes in the pond
by Regular guy of National Fecalgraphic Reading Room
