Wond'ring aloud
How we feel today
Last night sipped the sunset
My hand in her hair
We are our own saviours
As we start
Both our hearts
Beating life
Into each other
Wond'ring aloud
Will the years treat us well?
As she floats in the kitchen
I'm tasting the smell
Of toast as the butter runs
Then she comes
Spilling crumbs
On the bed
And I shake my head
And it's only the giving
That makes you
What you are
by living in the past of 1977 or thereabouts
Bad Haiku News.
We should take a break
away from these bad haiku
and post naked pics.
by Or something.
The breakfast was bland.
Bland even for a breakfast.
Pussy would be nice.
by Spice up your waffles!
Why are you like this?
Did I rip your life apart?
Only lies from you!
by Drama Queen of Laundomat next to the bar.
Have you ever played
South Park: The Fractured But Whole?
Your farts can destroy!
by I don't play video games, but that might be fun. of Not buying a console for it though.
Crocodile cootchie.
I've heard great things about it.
Dare you even try?
by My name is Steve Irwin, and I do NOT approve this message. of The Great Beyond.
Transcendent waffle.
Effervescent cuddle pool.
Envelops nethers.
by Hither, thither, and yon. of YAWN
Bad high-cootchie flash
Verse eats rotten dog.
Has to go to hospital.
Then dies from covid.
by How many misdiagnosed deaths do you think there are? of Re-hearse terse dead verse
Bad Haiku News Flash.
Filippino man
eats the dog that ate dog poop
from dog puke puke verse.
Re-regurgitate
I know that is a new word.
That is what it ate.
Verse-ate-ility.
The Flipo man does back flips.
Loves that roasted dog.
by I'm whore-able.
Bad Haiku News
Dog eats rotten verse.
Vomits it up on carpet.
Then eats it again.
When it poops it out
it's way better than before.
Other dogs eat it.
by Who needs Alpo. of Just recycle.
Fighter jet for sale.
Some maintenance required.
Complete with two nukes.
by Tactical of course. of $20M obo
Schlong in a waffle.
Extra syrup and butter.
Ribbed for her pleasure.
by But all she wants is cash.
God damn smell checker.
Sniff my ass and change my undies.
Even if they're clean.
by Commando or nude. of Spell checkers suck also.
Shopping malls are dead.
They have not one reach of life.
Zombie flick settings.
by Makes sense
Who here remembers
tiger butthole Chinese wine.
You'll take a fierce shit.
by Chinese medicine is stupid! of Endangered so you can take a dump.
Whoring isn't wrong.
It just depends on the price.
Twenty buck sample.
Okay, I am hooked.
And I guess you're the hooked.
Return customer.
by Thank you, please come again.
Who here remembers
the tiger butter pancakes.
Little black Sambo.
by Yes, I am old.
Murder isn't wrong.
It just depends who it is.
You, for example.
by The person wanting your wallet.
Pancakes are pointless.
Waffles are so much better.
Unless you're lazy.
by Cappuccino you know.
One last little thing.
All I need now is coffee
Then I'll be all set.
by Good to go. For at least an hour. of Old and addicted.
I went to IHOP.
And ordered some twat waffles.
Got escorted out.
That wasn't enough.
So called an escort service.
Got escorted in.
by And got my twat waffles! of Real butter and maple syrup.
I miss the small boat.
But alas no antidote
Except to eat goat
by Jack the Zipper of Winning one for the Gipper
No, there's only one.
I forgot my old password.
Now it's just hugetwat.
by Don't tell anyone.
I miss the Great Wave.
(Sobbing, mucus flow, stay brave.)
That pic was my fave...
by Fishing Village of Rape and Pillage
Strange how a font change
And the lack of the Great Wave
Detract from the fun.
by Hokusai of Hokus Pokusai
Darthfigpucker 2?
So there's more than one of You?
Shit, what shall we do?
by Anonymous pooper
At last we shall reveal ourselves to the Jedi. At last we shall have revenge. Or something along those lines.
by Or maybe we could have cake. of Cake is nice too.
Just email me.
Darthfigpucker2@g
mail dot com. Cool?
by Tell me who you are. of I am no one special.
A man of the cloth
Unravel the mystery
Just who are you, Darth?
by The naughty one of Holy Order of Cloistered Haiku Nuns
I can't help but think
You are obsessed with me
And my purloined cheese.
by And purloined loin cheese. of Smell my cheese cloth!
The Spring Collection
Casual Cannibal Cool
by Darth Figpucker
Menswear featuring:
Extra large pockets for cheese
you might not pay for
by Genitalmens’ Quarterly of Newsstand
That would be Noah
As in No...ah..dinosaurs
on the Ark. They stinx.
by Starkittensaurus of Pacific Northwest
The man in the boat.
Riding on the salty waves.
Honest stink of fish.
by Happy now?
*you AND I... fucking typos.
by blahblahblah
Haiku write themselves.
You are I are just doorways
for haiku to be.
by I'm totally joking. of Yeah, it was me, I did it.
Go back to this one:
Sixty-nine eight sixty-three.
(VERY good haiku)
by It Even Rhymes of Who Wrote It ?
If you have covid,
go spit at things at Walmart;
maybe door handles.
by Sharing is Caring. of Heal the Earth - Kill the Humans!
Hambone, provolone
Blueberry scone. piss and moan
Cyclone xylophone
by Zen koan of Microphone
Don’t get headaches much
Exploding head of Covid
Help yourself to germs
by noticer of exploding heads of right here
Well, I fucked myself
back in nineteen eighty eight.
Like Buffalo Bill.
by No, it wasn't good for me too.
I was supposed to
interview him but didn’t
after I got that
by At the time, he was working of on a laundry delivery truck in Hooksett, NH
Are you implying
that you fucked GG Allin?
He got it all in?
by You're GG's bastard child's mom?!
When I was eighteen
He mailed me a big package
and the package leaked
by The post office wrapped it in plastic of Undisclosed 1985 mail call
GG "singing" the
quadratic formula would...
be interesting.
by x equals negative b plus or minus the square root of b squared minus four a c, all over 2 a. of Add explicitives where needed or wanted.
What would be real hot
Yell math formulas and swear
like G.G. Allin
by Franconia Notch of New Hampshire
Box and wisker plots
suck turds out of my sphincter.
Histograms more so.
by Fuck statistics. Monkey math! Pie charts are for stooges. of I'll say it again. Fuck statistics.
Prove non-trivial
zeros of zeta function
have real part one-half.
by Okay! I think that's it. of It doesn't matter where I am... it's nowhere special.
No, I fuckd that up.
It should say "real part" somewhere.
But, lo, it does not.
by poo-poo
Prove non-trivial
zeros of zeta function
equal to one-half.
by Raymond's high on pot the ass.
