Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
29 Years, 318 Days and 78437 Haiku later...
Horrible poetry for the digital age
29 Years, 318 Days and 78437 Haiku later...
Are you implying
that you fucked GG Allin?
He got it all in?
that you fucked GG Allin?
He got it all in?
by
When I was eighteen
He mailed me a big package
and the package leaked
He mailed me a big package
and the package leaked
by of Undisclosed 1985 mail call
GG "singing" the
quadratic formula would...
be interesting.
quadratic formula would...
be interesting.
by of Add explicitives where needed or wanted.
What would be real hot
Yell math formulas and swear
like G.G. Allin
Yell math formulas and swear
like G.G. Allin
by of New Hampshire
Box and wisker plots
suck turds out of my sphincter.
Histograms more so.
suck turds out of my sphincter.
Histograms more so.
by of I'll say it again. Fuck statistics.
Prove non-trivial
zeros of zeta function
have real part one-half.
zeros of zeta function
have real part one-half.
by of It doesn't matter where I am... it's nowhere special.
No, I fuckd that up.
It should say "real part" somewhere.
But, lo, it does not.
It should say "real part" somewhere.
But, lo, it does not.
by
Prove non-trivial
zeros of zeta function
equal to one-half.
zeros of zeta function
equal to one-half.
by
All cats have 9 lives
This kitten has double paws
Box and Whisker plot
This kitten has double paws
Box and Whisker plot
by of Primal Scream
To a computer
all numbers are dirty words,
basic and primal.
all numbers are dirty words,
basic and primal.
by of Like my ex.
A beautiful mind
All those numbers in that brain
All those dirty words
All those numbers in that brain
All those dirty words
by of To all your problems
Here's a math problem.
Prove that the real part of the non-trivial zeros of the zeta function is equal to 1/2.
Prove that the real part of the non-trivial zeros of the zeta function is equal to 1/2.
by of rice, and 4 balot eggs.
I do not wear pants.
I only wear leather shorts.
To embarrass kids.
I only wear leather shorts.
To embarrass kids.
by of Goes well w/ Rush Limbaugh and Alex Jones t-shirts.
A happy ending
is only thirteen dollars
plus two dollar tip.
One thousand dollars,
I'd call that a sad ending.
I'll run out the door.
is only thirteen dollars
plus two dollar tip.
One thousand dollars,
I'd call that a sad ending.
I'll run out the door.
by of Customer *service* complaint office.
Here’s a math problem
If x is equal to 2
What will make him spew?
If x is equal to 2
What will make him spew?
by of Washroom, Canada
Try a yoga pose
Or insert a garden hose
You’ll smell like a rose
Or insert a garden hose
You’ll smell like a rose
by of Brownstone (Flushing, NY vicinity)
You are what you eat
If you want to pass a log
Become one with tree
If you want to pass a log
Become one with tree
by of Dancing
Poets, Kuntrymen
Direct our laser focus
To poor Darth’s buttocks
Incite a movement
Nay, A true insurrection
in his sagging pants
Direct our laser focus
To poor Darth’s buttocks
Incite a movement
Nay, A true insurrection
in his sagging pants
by of Guilty as charged ($1,ooo with happy ending, at least for me)
Anybody care?!
XFart Killed XLax... and the dog.
XFart Killed XLax... and the dog.
by of You eat just a few and you'll make huge farts!
Anybody home? :)
XEvil 4.0 killed Bitcoin!
XEvil.Net
XEvil 4.0 killed Bitcoin!
XEvil.Net
by of Morocco
Been coughing up blood?
Tell everyone it's covid.
You smoke too much crack.
Tell everyone it's covid.
You smoke too much crack.
by of Just like my ugly penis.
I need some new shit.
Wake up, you motherfuckers!
Submit some poems!
Wake up, you motherfuckers!
Submit some poems!
by of Haiku are needed for a satisfactory bowel movement.
Flaky cunt biscuits.
Choco shugar glazed queef puffs.
Crispy twat waffles.
Choco shugar glazed queef puffs.
Crispy twat waffles.
by of I need one of those Concord jets.
Flying in the sky,
is that a pterodactyl?
Will they eat his dog?
is that a pterodactyl?
Will they eat his dog?
by
Where is my precioussss????
The hobbitses stole it from us!
Sneaky little theives!
The hobbitses stole it from us!
Sneaky little theives!
by of Somewhere outside Mordor eating a live fish.
Cement mix butt plug
Discrete and comfortable
unless you sit down
Discrete and comfortable
unless you sit down
by of Standing Room Only
I should kill myself.
I'm watching Lord of the Rings.
That's how low I've sunk.
I'm watching Lord of the Rings.
That's how low I've sunk.
by of piss out there.
Enrich your noodle.
You should always ask Google.
Knows all; never lies.
You should always ask Google.
Knows all; never lies.
by
How ‘bout a turd font
Haiku plops in a toilet
with a flushing sound
Haiku plops in a toilet
with a flushing sound
by of Outhouse
We need a font here
that looks like snow piss letters
so we can eat them.
that looks like snow piss letters
so we can eat them.
by
Since the font changed
the haiku is even worse
Who can explain this?
the haiku is even worse
Who can explain this?
by of Under Old Willow
Green bean casserole
Someone threw it in the field
Green Giant’s kaka
Someone threw it in the field
Green Giant’s kaka
by of Green Giant
Is it possible
Mad Dog 20/20 sales
decreased from its name?
Or for that matter,
how about Corona beer?
They're still going strong.
The reason is that
alcoholics are die hards.
Loyal to the end.
Mad Dog 20/20 sales
decreased from its name?
Or for that matter,
how about Corona beer?
They're still going strong.
The reason is that
alcoholics are die hards.
Loyal to the end.
by of And you thought it was Bacchus.
Have you ever tried
pairing expensive cheeses
with cheap ghetto wines?
pairing expensive cheeses
with cheap ghetto wines?
by of ... or does it? I've never tried!
Bob Carny Barker
was never truly alive.
Television ghoul.
was never truly alive.
Television ghoul.
by of Circuitry outdated.
Eating them, not sure.
But putting them in one's ass,
you'll live forever.
But putting them in one's ass,
you'll live forever.
by of Benevolent vampire, accused of being a zombie.
Someone here must know
How long can a person live
eating just raisins?
How long can a person live
eating just raisins?
by of Here for the time being
I thought he was dead
Bob Barker is still living
and so is his dink
Bob Barker is still living
and so is his dink
by of Showcase Showdown
Are you a victim.
Or just an attention whore?
We see what you are.
Or just an attention whore?
We see what you are.
by of Try sky diving.
All it takes is one.
From nose to brain; you're insane.
Ultrasound monster.
From nose to brain; you're insane.
Ultrasound monster.
by
The mathematician
with sticky calculator
figures his sperm count
with sticky calculator
figures his sperm count
by of On top of bed
Cock, schlong, penis, dink.
We should talk pussy, I think.
Cunt, twat, queefs that stink.
We should talk pussy, I think.
Cunt, twat, queefs that stink.
by of Or smell. Or taste.
They’ll never catch me!
Green Giant running amuck
Who wants some green dink?
Green Giant running amuck
Who wants some green dink?
by of Outstanding in my field
He was so repressed
he used a strap-on dildo
to bang his Fleshlight.
he used a strap-on dildo
to bang his Fleshlight.
by of Mom's basement orgy pit for stuffed animals. *Stuffed*. Get it?
You want raw sugar
I’m sitting behind you, Darth
It’s not a mirage
I’m sitting behind you, Darth
It’s not a mirage
by of Undisclosed Coffee Shop
White sugar's so harsh.
Why wasn't there raw sugar
when I was a lad?
Why wasn't there raw sugar
when I was a lad?
by of Coffee shop, pretending I am somewhere else.
Worm often gets slapped.
Here's a better solution:
Learn how to swallow.
Here's a better solution:
Learn how to swallow.
by of Kenyan coffee plantation, laughing at the peasants.
Sounds like politics.
I'll be the one on bottom.
Open mouth. Enjoy.
I'll be the one on bottom.
Open mouth. Enjoy.
by of Whole Foods grocery, shoplifting the fine cheeses.
Human Pyramid
Now they’re all taking a shit
Upload to YouTube
Now they’re all taking a shit
Upload to YouTube
by of Caked with shit