Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 181 Days and 70640 Haikus later...

Have you ever played
South Park: The Fractured But Whole?
Your farts can destroy!
Haiku # 69943, February 1, 2021 6:02 pm ET
by I don't play video games, but that might be fun. of Not buying a console for it though.
Crocodile cootchie.
I've heard great things about it.
Dare you even try?
Haiku # 69942, February 1, 2021 12:42 pm ET
by My name is Steve Irwin, and I do NOT approve this message. of The Great Beyond.
Transcendent waffle.
Effervescent cuddle pool.
Envelops nethers.
Haiku # 69941, February 1, 2021 12:39 pm ET
by Hither, thither, and yon. of YAWN
Bad high-cootchie flash

Verse eats rotten dog.
Has to go to hospital.
Then dies from covid.
Haiku # 69940, February 1, 2021 9:49 am ET
by How many misdiagnosed deaths do you think there are? of Re-hearse terse dead verse
Bad Haiku News Flash.

Filippino man
eats the dog that ate dog poop
from dog puke puke verse.

Re-regurgitate
I know that is a new word.
That is what it ate.

Verse-ate-ility.
The Flipo man does back flips.
Loves that roasted dog.
Haiku # 69939, February 1, 2021 8:29 am ET
by I'm whore-able.
Bad Haiku News

Dog eats rotten verse.
Vomits it up on carpet.
Then eats it again.

When it poops it out
it's way better than before.
Other dogs eat it.
Haiku # 69938, February 1, 2021 8:21 am ET
by Who needs Alpo. of Just recycle.
Fighter jet for sale.
Some maintenance required.
Complete with two nukes.
Haiku # 69937, February 1, 2021 2:52 am ET
by Tactical of course. of $20M obo
Schlong in a waffle.
Extra syrup and butter.
Ribbed for her pleasure.
Haiku # 69936, February 1, 2021 2:49 am ET
by But all she wants is cash.
God damn smell checker.
Sniff my ass and change my undies.
Even if they're clean.
Haiku # 69935, February 1, 2021 2:46 am ET
by Commando or nude. of Spell checkers suck also.
Shopping malls are dead.
They have not one reach of life.
Zombie flick settings.
Haiku # 69934, February 1, 2021 2:40 am ET
by Makes sense
Who here remembers
tiger butthole Chinese wine.
You'll take a fierce shit.
Haiku # 69933, February 1, 2021 1:40 am ET
by Chinese medicine is stupid! of Endangered so you can take a dump.
Whoring isn't wrong.
It just depends on the price.
Twenty buck sample.

Okay, I am hooked.
And I guess you're the hooked.
Return customer.
Haiku # 69932, February 1, 2021 1:35 am ET
by Thank you, please come again.
Who here remembers
the tiger butter pancakes.
Little black Sambo.
Haiku # 69931, January 31, 2021 5:18 am ET
by Yes, I am old.
Murder isn't wrong.
It just depends who it is.
You, for example.
Haiku # 69930, January 31, 2021 3:05 am ET
by The person wanting your wallet.
Pancakes are pointless.
Waffles are so much better.
Unless you're lazy.
Haiku # 69929, January 30, 2021 11:56 pm ET
by Cappuccino you know.
One last little thing.
All I need now is coffee
Then I'll be all set.
Haiku # 69928, January 30, 2021 11:53 pm ET
by Good to go. For at least an hour. of Old and addicted.
I went to IHOP.
And ordered some twat waffles.
Got escorted out.

That wasn't enough.
So called an escort service.
Got escorted in.
Haiku # 69927, January 30, 2021 11:51 pm ET
by And got my twat waffles! of Real butter and maple syrup.
I miss the small boat.
But alas no antidote
Except to eat goat
Haiku # 69926, January 30, 2021 8:04 pm ET
by Jack the Zipper of Winning one for the Gipper
No, there's only one.
I forgot my old password.
Now it's just hugetwat.
Haiku # 69925, January 30, 2021 7:43 pm ET
by Don't tell anyone.
I miss the Great Wave.
(Sobbing, mucus flow, stay brave.)
That pic was my fave...
Haiku # 69924, January 30, 2021 1:28 pm ET
by Fishing Village of Rape and Pillage
Strange how a font change
And the lack of the Great Wave
Detract from the fun.
Haiku # 69923, January 30, 2021 12:36 pm ET
by Hokusai of Hokus Pokusai
Darthfigpucker 2?
So there's more than one of You?
Shit, what shall we do?
Haiku # 69922, January 30, 2021 9:50 am ET
by Anonymous pooper
At last we shall reveal ourselves to the Jedi. At last we shall have revenge. Or something along those lines.
Haiku # 69921, January 30, 2021 3:00 am ET
by Or maybe we could have cake. of Cake is nice too.
Just email me.
Darthfigpucker2@g
mail dot com. Cool?
Haiku # 69920, January 29, 2021 11:36 pm ET
by Tell me who you are. of I am no one special.
A man of the cloth
Unravel the mystery
Just who are you, Darth?
Haiku # 69919, January 29, 2021 11:29 pm ET
by The naughty one of Holy Order of Cloistered Haiku Nuns
I can't help but think
You are obsessed with me
And my purloined cheese.
Haiku # 69918, January 29, 2021 9:51 pm ET
by And purloined loin cheese. of Smell my cheese cloth!
The Spring Collection
Casual Cannibal Cool
by Darth Figpucker

Menswear featuring:
Extra large pockets for cheese
you might not pay for
Haiku # 69917, January 29, 2021 9:10 pm ET
by Genitalmens’ Quarterly of Newsstand
That would be Noah
As in No...ah..dinosaurs
on the Ark. They stinx.
Haiku # 69916, January 29, 2021 8:50 pm ET
by Starkittensaurus of Pacific Northwest
The man in the boat.
Riding on the salty waves.
Honest stink of fish.
Haiku # 69915, January 29, 2021 6:46 pm ET
by Happy now?
*you AND I... fucking typos.
Haiku # 69914, January 29, 2021 6:40 pm ET
by blahblahblah
Haiku write themselves.
You are I are just doorways
for haiku to be.
Haiku # 69913, January 29, 2021 6:39 pm ET
by I'm totally joking. of Yeah, it was me, I did it.
Go back to this one:
Sixty-nine eight sixty-three.
(VERY good haiku)
Haiku # 69912, January 29, 2021 6:05 pm ET
by It Even Rhymes of Who Wrote It ?
If you have covid,
go spit at things at Walmart;
maybe door handles.
Haiku # 69911, January 29, 2021 10:49 am ET
by Sharing is Caring. of Heal the Earth - Kill the Humans!
Hambone, provolone
Blueberry scone. piss and moan
Cyclone xylophone
Haiku # 69910, January 29, 2021 9:05 am ET
by Zen koan of Microphone
prova
Haiku # 69909, January 29, 2021 7:55 am ET
by Lucy
Don’t get headaches much
Exploding head of Covid
Help yourself to germs
Haiku # 69908, January 29, 2021 4:28 am ET
by noticer of exploding heads of right here
Well, I fucked myself
back in nineteen eighty eight.
Like Buffalo Bill.
Haiku # 69907, January 29, 2021 3:57 am ET
by No, it wasn't good for me too.
I was supposed to
interview him but didn’t
after I got that
Haiku # 69906, January 29, 2021 2:05 am ET
by At the time, he was working of on a laundry delivery truck in Hooksett, NH
Are you implying
that you fucked GG Allin?
He got it all in?
Haiku # 69905, January 29, 2021 1:29 am ET
by You're GG's bastard child's mom?!
When I was eighteen
He mailed me a big package
and the package leaked
Haiku # 69904, January 29, 2021 12:47 am ET
by The post office wrapped it in plastic of Undisclosed 1985 mail call
GG "singing" the
quadratic formula would...
be interesting.
Haiku # 69903, January 29, 2021 12:39 am ET
by x equals negative b plus or minus the square root of b squared minus four a c, all over 2 a. of Add explicitives where needed or wanted.
What would be real hot
Yell math formulas and swear
like G.G. Allin
Haiku # 69902, January 29, 2021 12:16 am ET
by Franconia Notch of New Hampshire
Box and wisker plots
suck turds out of my sphincter.
Histograms more so.
Haiku # 69901, January 28, 2021 11:22 pm ET
by Fuck statistics. Monkey math! Pie charts are for stooges. of I'll say it again. Fuck statistics.
Prove non-trivial
zeros of zeta function
have real part one-half.
Haiku # 69900, January 28, 2021 11:18 pm ET
by Okay! I think that's it. of It doesn't matter where I am... it's nowhere special.
No, I fuckd that up.
It should say "real part" somewhere.
But, lo, it does not.
Haiku # 69899, January 28, 2021 11:16 pm ET
by poo-poo
Prove non-trivial
zeros of zeta function
equal to one-half.
Haiku # 69898, January 28, 2021 11:08 pm ET
by Raymond's high on pot the ass.
All cats have 9 lives
This kitten has double paws
Box and Whisker plot
Haiku # 69897, January 28, 2021 10:46 pm ET
by Basic Instinct of Primal Scream
To a computer
all numbers are dirty words,
basic and primal.
Haiku # 69896, January 28, 2021 10:40 pm ET
by That is sooo deep!.. and stinky! of Like my ex.
A beautiful mind
All those numbers in that brain
All those dirty words
Haiku # 69895, January 28, 2021 10:36 pm ET
by Solution of To all your problems
Here's a math problem.
Prove that the real part of the non-trivial zeros of the zeta function is equal to 1/2.
Haiku # 69894, January 28, 2021 10:21 pm ET
by Your prize is 5 kilos of rice, and 4 balot eggs.
< 50 Less Recent Haiku 50 More Recent Haiku >