Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 222 Days and 77145 Haiku later...

Darthfigpucker 2?
So there's more than one of You?
Shit, what shall we do?
Haiku # 69922, January 30, 2021 9:50 am ET
by Anonymous pooper
At last we shall reveal ourselves to the Jedi. At last we shall have revenge. Or something along those lines.
Haiku # 69921, January 30, 2021 3:00 am ET
by Or maybe we could have cake. of Cake is nice too.
Just email me.
mail dot com. Cool?
Haiku # 69920, January 29, 2021 11:36 pm ET
by Tell me who you are. of I am no one special.
A man of the cloth
Unravel the mystery
Just who are you, Darth?
Haiku # 69919, January 29, 2021 11:29 pm ET
by The naughty one of Holy Order of Cloistered Haiku Nuns
I can't help but think
You are obsessed with me
And my purloined cheese.
Haiku # 69918, January 29, 2021 9:51 pm ET
by And purloined loin cheese. of Smell my cheese cloth!
The Spring Collection
Casual Cannibal Cool
by Darth Figpucker

Menswear featuring:
Extra large pockets for cheese
you might not pay for
Haiku # 69917, January 29, 2021 9:10 pm ET
by Genitalmens’ Quarterly of Newsstand
That would be Noah
As in No...ah..dinosaurs
on the Ark. They stinx.
Haiku # 69916, January 29, 2021 8:50 pm ET
by Starkittensaurus of Pacific Northwest
The man in the boat.
Riding on the salty waves.
Honest stink of fish.
Haiku # 69915, January 29, 2021 6:46 pm ET
by Happy now?
*you AND I... fucking typos.
Haiku # 69914, January 29, 2021 6:40 pm ET
by blahblahblah
Haiku write themselves.
You are I are just doorways
for haiku to be.
Haiku # 69913, January 29, 2021 6:39 pm ET
by I'm totally joking. of Yeah, it was me, I did it.
Go back to this one:
Sixty-nine eight sixty-three.
(VERY good haiku)
Haiku # 69912, January 29, 2021 6:05 pm ET
by It Even Rhymes of Who Wrote It ?
If you have covid,
go spit at things at Walmart;
maybe door handles.
Haiku # 69911, January 29, 2021 10:49 am ET
by Sharing is Caring. of Heal the Earth - Kill the Humans!
Hambone, provolone
Blueberry scone. piss and moan
Cyclone xylophone
Haiku # 69910, January 29, 2021 9:05 am ET
by Zen koan of Microphone
Haiku # 69909, January 29, 2021 7:55 am ET
by Lucy
Don’t get headaches much
Exploding head of Covid
Help yourself to germs
Haiku # 69908, January 29, 2021 4:28 am ET
by noticer of exploding heads of right here
Well, I fucked myself
back in nineteen eighty eight.
Like Buffalo Bill.
Haiku # 69907, January 29, 2021 3:57 am ET
by No, it wasn't good for me too.
I was supposed to
interview him but didn’t
after I got that
Haiku # 69906, January 29, 2021 2:05 am ET
by At the time, he was working of on a laundry delivery truck in Hooksett, NH
Are you implying
that you fucked GG Allin?
He got it all in?
Haiku # 69905, January 29, 2021 1:29 am ET
by You're GG's bastard child's mom?!
When I was eighteen
He mailed me a big package
and the package leaked
Haiku # 69904, January 29, 2021 12:47 am ET
by The post office wrapped it in plastic of Undisclosed 1985 mail call
GG "singing" the
quadratic formula would...
be interesting.
Haiku # 69903, January 29, 2021 12:39 am ET
by x equals negative b plus or minus the square root of b squared minus four a c, all over 2 a. of Add explicitives where needed or wanted.
What would be real hot
Yell math formulas and swear
like G.G. Allin
Haiku # 69902, January 29, 2021 12:16 am ET
by Franconia Notch of New Hampshire
Box and wisker plots
suck turds out of my sphincter.
Histograms more so.
Haiku # 69901, January 28, 2021 11:22 pm ET
by Fuck statistics. Monkey math! Pie charts are for stooges. of I'll say it again. Fuck statistics.
Prove non-trivial
zeros of zeta function
have real part one-half.
Haiku # 69900, January 28, 2021 11:18 pm ET
by Okay! I think that's it. of It doesn't matter where I am... it's nowhere special.
No, I fuckd that up.
It should say "real part" somewhere.
But, lo, it does not.
Haiku # 69899, January 28, 2021 11:16 pm ET
by poo-poo
Prove non-trivial
zeros of zeta function
equal to one-half.
Haiku # 69898, January 28, 2021 11:08 pm ET
by Raymond's high on pot the ass.
All cats have 9 lives
This kitten has double paws
Box and Whisker plot
Haiku # 69897, January 28, 2021 10:46 pm ET
by Basic Instinct of Primal Scream
To a computer
all numbers are dirty words,
basic and primal.
Haiku # 69896, January 28, 2021 10:40 pm ET
by That is sooo deep!.. and stinky! of Like my ex.
A beautiful mind
All those numbers in that brain
All those dirty words
Haiku # 69895, January 28, 2021 10:36 pm ET
by Solution of To all your problems
Here's a math problem.
Prove that the real part of the non-trivial zeros of the zeta function is equal to 1/2.
Haiku # 69894, January 28, 2021 10:21 pm ET
by Your prize is 5 kilos of rice, and 4 balot eggs.
I do not wear pants.
I only wear leather shorts.
To embarrass kids.
Haiku # 69893, January 28, 2021 10:15 pm ET
by Bare assed embarrassed. Cause that's what dads are for. of Goes well w/ Rush Limbaugh and Alex Jones t-shirts.
A happy ending
is only thirteen dollars
plus two dollar tip.

One thousand dollars,
I'd call that a sad ending.
I'll run out the door.
Haiku # 69892, January 28, 2021 10:10 pm ET
by Catch me if you can! of Customer *service* complaint office.
Here’s a math problem
If x is equal to 2
What will make him spew?
Haiku # 69891, January 28, 2021 9:37 pm ET
by B. M. Vigil of Washroom, Canada
Try a yoga pose
Or insert a garden hose
You’ll smell like a rose
Haiku # 69890, January 28, 2021 9:13 pm ET
by U. Candoit of Brownstone (Flushing, NY vicinity)
You are what you eat
If you want to pass a log
Become one with tree
Haiku # 69889, January 28, 2021 9:07 pm ET
by Leif Garrett of Dancing
Poets, Kuntrymen
Direct our laser focus
To poor Darth’s buttocks

Incite a movement
Nay, A true insurrection
in his sagging pants
Haiku # 69888, January 28, 2021 9:01 pm ET
by Erection Inciter of Guilty as charged ($1,ooo with happy ending, at least for me)
Anybody care?!

XFart Killed XLax... and the dog.
Haiku # 69887, January 28, 2021 9:01 pm ET
by I found a magic farting seed. of You eat just a few and you'll make huge farts!
Anybody home? :)

XEvil 4.0 killed Bitcoin!

Haiku # 69886, January 28, 2021 8:50 pm ET
by LindaSwich of Morocco
Been coughing up blood?
Tell everyone it's covid.
You smoke too much crack.
Haiku # 69885, January 28, 2021 8:22 pm ET
by And the ugly truth come out. of Just like my ugly penis.
I need some new shit.
Wake up, you motherfuckers!
Submit some poems!
Haiku # 69884, January 28, 2021 8:20 pm ET
by NOW! of Haiku are needed for a satisfactory bowel movement.
Flaky cunt biscuits.
Choco shugar glazed queef puffs.
Crispy twat waffles.
Haiku # 69883, January 28, 2021 11:16 am ET
by Breakfast in Thailand of I need one of those Concord jets.
Flying in the sky,
is that a pterodactyl?
Will they eat his dog?
Haiku # 69882, January 28, 2021 9:36 am ET
Where is my precioussss????
The hobbitses stole it from us!
Sneaky little theives!
Haiku # 69881, January 28, 2021 9:09 am ET
by Smeagol Golum of Somewhere outside Mordor eating a live fish.
Cement mix butt plug
Discrete and comfortable
unless you sit down
Haiku # 69880, January 28, 2021 8:52 am ET
by I. M. Sorass of Standing Room Only
I should kill myself.
I'm watching Lord of the Rings.
That's how low I've sunk.
Haiku # 69879, January 28, 2021 6:00 am ET
by Fuck it, it's raining a billion buckets of piss out there.
Enrich your noodle.
You should always ask Google.
Knows all; never lies.
Haiku # 69878, January 28, 2021 5:57 am ET
by While you're at it, look up blue waffles.
What’s a reach around?
Haiku # 69877, January 28, 2021 5:20 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
How ‘bout a turd font
Haiku plops in a toilet
with a flushing sound
Haiku # 69876, January 28, 2021 4:15 am ET
by Regular Haiku Poet of Outhouse
We need a font here
that looks like snow piss letters
so we can eat them.
Haiku # 69875, January 28, 2021 4:03 am ET
by Lemonade sno-cones!
Since the font changed
the haiku is even worse
Who can explain this?
Haiku # 69874, January 28, 2021 3:09 am ET
by Haiku Poet of Under Old Willow
Green bean casserole
Someone threw it in the field
Green Giant’s kaka
Haiku # 69873, January 28, 2021 1:55 am ET
by Ho Ho Ho of Green Giant
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