Haiku Stadium
Stands filled with cardboard cutouts
That's what this is like

Sounds like calamari.
Battered, fried, serve with beer.
Assholes eating assjoles.

A bag of assholes
They look like elastic bands
but they are assholes

I saw your beaver
yesterday at Gobbler’s Knob
Where was the groundhog?

Cats in outer space
will need specialized helmets
for their pointy ears

I want to order
some of those buckets for you
So you’ll be prepared

Electricity
You only need a smidgen
Here, sit in this chair

Do you wanna "finish"
in the Finnish sauna
with flora and fauna?

I prefer the cheaper
Ho Hos 'cause my hose knows.
For ho's it grows and grows.

Dead prostitute in trunk?
Just run over a skunk
to well disguise the smell.

But bleach not useful.
You need experience.
Maybe muriatic.

And a large plastic drum
with a tight fitting lid.
Speaking of tight, she did.

The Finnish sauna
You may see wrinkled ding dongs
You might enjoy it

Found your To Do List
Zip ties, bleach, shovel
You’re so organized

Checking under hens
to see if they laid an egg
gave him a boner

Adjusting his pants
The farmer contemplated
the age old question

PLACE YOUR ORDER NOW!
Jim Bakker’s End Times Buckets
for Food and Feces

Running my fingers
over your nearly bald head
and Frankenstein bolts

"If I say it's safe to
surf this beach, Captain, then
it's safe to surf this beach!"

Never been to Luzon.
Let me just say "Charlie
don't surf!" You get me now?

Sometimes I hold my breath.
But only when I fart.
Or maybe muff diving.

Will six six six haiku
summon up a demon
or open a wormhole?

Hold on a minute now...
I am damn nearly bald.
Hair dresser my fat ass.

Bad Haiku News.

Pink Floyd has new member.
Gets rid of Syd Barrett.
Some guy name Dave Gilmour.

check it out here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MuNTIGdMntY

It's supposed to be bad.
Maybe a nice puke green.
And old dot matrix font.

Maybe some pop-up ads.
Like maybe for sex chat.
Or malware installers.

It can always be worse.
But I'm happy right now.
Listening to Pink Floyd.

Will this site ever be good again like it was?
Does Janice like it better now?

Ozzyman's my hero.
Boob, butts, animal fights,
and destination F.

I have to be evil.
Sorry, that's my new rule.
Brimstone and demons wait.

How many licks does
it take take to get to the center
of my asshole?

How long would it take
you to fill up a bucket
with your own feces?

Tonight’s Assignment
The Absolute Very Best
of Rev. Jim Bakker

I just got some info.
It made me poop myself.
My laugh heard down the block.

Caffeine seizures are fun.
But not the cramps they cause.
I'm just a gramps with cramps.

After weeks of potty training my toilet was able to roll over, speak, and jump through hoops.

Empaths on the other hand have a heightened sense of smell as well as taste. Hannibal Lecter was a sociopath, not a psychopath. There is a great difference between the two. Sociopaths are more "made into monsters" while pscychopaths are born into their role, are very greedy and self-centered, as well as manipulative. But they also often have lower than average IQ.
They also tend to be mediocre at best in everything they do. Such as baking.
The only thing they do well is huring others. Destroying them emotionally or physically. The world is better off without such individuals.

I don't like to submit
unless being kinky.
Why are you so evil?
What made you a monster?
Was it your mom or dad?
Your cousin that raped you?
And that's okay for you?
It need not be like this.

More than oxygen,
Bad haiku necessary.
I will die without.

Here's my hand, now shake it.
Don't give me a "man hug".
Don't say "Love you, brother."

I farted on the bus.
Complete satisfaction.
Watching them suck it in.

Flavored coffee is gay.
I'm having a cup of
"the men I did last spring".

We need some nude haiku.
So you can see my ass.
Tell me how fat it is.

Jesus sends his regards.
He enjoys his holy hands.
Great for doing magic tricks.

Racism's here to stay.
Better get used to it.
You can thank Donald Trump.

Do you have a stiffie??
Just 'cause I said hentai?
You are such a pervert!

Molecularity.
Shit, that was six syllables.
I guess I'm on a roll.

Your are on a biscuit.
And so I will eat you.
Spectrophotometry.

Chicken and egg rice.
Cheeseburger with a milk shake.
You and your children.

Has covid robbed me?
I thought I'd kill you myself.
Well this isn't fair!

Has everyone died?
I mean, if so, that's okay.
Where's my Vaseline?

I hope you're okay.
You better not die on me.
Life would be empty.

Wond'ring aloud
How we feel today
Last night sipped the sunset
My hand in her hair

We are our own saviours
As we start
Both our hearts
Beating life
Into each other

Wond'ring aloud
Will the years treat us well?
As she floats in the kitchen
I'm tasting the smell
Of toast as the butter runs
Then she comes
Spilling crumbs
On the bed
And I shake my head

And it's only the giving
That makes you
What you are

Bad Haiku News.

We should take a break
away from these bad haiku
and post naked pics.

The breakfast was bland.
Bland even for a breakfast.
Pussy would be nice.

Why are you like this?
Did I rip your life apart?
Only lies from you!

Have you ever played
South Park: The Fractured But Whole?
Your farts can destroy!