This Valentine’s Day
Get her what she really wants
Kittens! Kittens! Cats!
by You Know of It’s True
It's good to be home.
But it's better to be in
the local brothel.
by Valentines Day and Venereal Disease of Like chocolate and peanut butter. Extra crunchy.
Not all that funny.
Not boner inspiring.
Not worth watching it.
by Mr. Negativity w/ slow internet.
i had to share this
because it is just so good
trust me, you'll love it
https://youtu.be/BZlRt05RY9Y
by ash
Sylvester Stallone
Sweaty underwear. Skid marks.
Raw egg in tall glass
by Noticer of Details
Chair Aerobics Class
Lift, lift, lift the left butt cheek
Fart! Fart! Feel the Burn!
by Funtcart of Roast Beef Explosion
New dance routine
First, remove all of your clothes
(release the fire ants)
by Juh Juh Juh Jitterbug of Wham! UK
Under the covers
you will find the dutch oven
It's your wake up call
by Methane Windmill of Worst Case, Ontario
Under the covers
doesn't matter how you look
we are all the same
by Ellen Urowitz of Toronto Ontario
Golden yellow leaves
spotted in middle winter
in Toronto
by Ellen Urowitz of Toronto Ontario
Pednecrozoophile.
Dead baby anilmal sex.
Stinky puppet show.
by Nuclear war will cleanse the planet of the filth we have become.
Pednecrozoophile.
Dead baby anilmal sex.
Stinky puppet show.
by Nuclear war will cleanse the planet of the filth we have become.
They forgot my fave
crunchy poop lovers dot org
asm dot org
by blahblah
Call it sleepy seeds
Sandman filling the sand bag
Wake up with a smile
by Serta Sheep of Hiding
Orgasm on her
when awake if you love her,
asleep if it's hate.
Dot ru, of course.
R U a honey old man?
Come visit Russia.
by Borat of Very nice!
orgasm on loveawake.ru
by SandraNoitE of Spain
Don't trust lesbians.
They all have daddy issues.
And they want revenge.
by Truth!
You can freeze to death.
I will take malaria
to that any day!
by The only thing I need cold is beer. of And maybe pina colada. And ice cream.
A lot of cocaine
in the midwest nowadays.
Oh, no, that's just snow.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
by Better you than me!
An itch I can’t scratch
Feeling of euphoria
I do wish to catch
Please open your door
That baggy that contains it
Oh the sweet snow coke
by Line of lines
Can you imagine
getting a ride on his back?
He looks so friendly
by Undisclosed of Purveyors of Haggis
A word to the wise
The Loch Ness Monster is NOT
a cephalopod
by Noticer of Details of Here for you
But I must confess
My first thought was that I saw
the Loch Ness Monster
by Lass of Slightly Used Bagpipe Shoppe
Your outboard motor
did certainly catch my eye
that day at the lake
by Nude Enthusiast behind the bush of Outdoors
I don't need to flash
at a nudist colony
with hot surfer chix.
by Surfing with dink out. of Sort of like paddle boarding.
How I picture you
Cool trench coat like Robert Stack
but flashing your dink
by Noticer of details of Solved Mystery
Quarantine Royale
Charles’ face, Camilla’s crumpet
Out comes marmalade
by Reptilian with blue balls of Fox Run (portable latrine)
Rare roast beef curtains
Horseradish makes you horny
Sam the Butcher’s load
by Alice (maid) of Meandering snailtrail
There once was a time
everyone tossed their urine
out of the window
by I. P. Frehley of Piss Jug Mountain
Don't visit much now.
Too much excremental filth.
Give the site to Darth.
by The New Look is Depressing
Bang that choco cup
into a whore's asshole with
a wooden paddle.
After which you may
suck out the peanut butter.
Post pics on Facebook.
by The Real Donald Trump
If there's no wrong way
to eat a Reese's Peanut
Butter Cup, you're lame.
You have not tried to
use your immagination.
There's lots of wrong ways.
by DW
When you get married
Pee in your spouse's coffee
and watch them drink it
by Happily Divorced
That wasn't a murder.
Suicide by Ex-Lax.
Unfortunate toilet.
by It would be funny if someone poisoned their Ex with Ex-Lax.
It’s my first time here
I hope you like my poem
Did I do it right?
by The New Poet of Bad Haiku
Police tape on door
Murder in the bathroom stall
Asshole blown apart
by Law and Odor of Crime Scene
japan to chy....na
self interest vs collect
...ive thinking right here???
by moxie
Here's something to not try.
Just try giving a shit
when you don't have a leg.
by To stand on.
What if I don't have legs?
Should I stand with my dink?
I can do it, I think.
by Dick Ramrod
Here’s something to try
See if you can take a shit
standing on one leg
by Jack Lalanne’s ghoul
Domestic terror:
The neighborly thang to do.
Apple pie and God.
by Amen, Bless You Sister of Hickry Holler
Everyone on a Earth
Release a synchronized fart
In unity’s name
by All together now of Pffffffffffffft International
Down the toilet, "weeeee".
A water slide made of pee.
Goes Sir Hankey Poo.
He knows what to do.
Sliding down with Christmas glee.
(A haikuerlick.)
by Eucalyptus?!?! of You can lick this!!
I've lost you my dear
I take up the notes of which
I remember you
You aren’t here and yet
I search for you. I need you
My email password
by Line of lines
Pooo, downgrade, waterslide
i actually peed butt
i boast surf ride my pee.
by Sewage water park. Serious business!
ooo, upgrade, surprise
i can actually read what
i post, survived me
by mox
That sounds sensible
but don't people think you might
be a detective?
by That must be Columbo of and his gun is size Jumbo
You have to hide your dink.
So I wear a trench coat.
When I'm out splatting spooge.
My fave is the ceiling.
Relax and watch it drip.
Sipping a hot coffee.
Five points arms and shoulders.
Ten points for hair or face.
Twenty if in their drink.
by And drink rhymes with dink! of You're welcome!
Invisible ink
coming from visible dink
You’ll land in the clink
by Your pen is leaking of Ha ha ha penis
That's what I've been saying!
Throw your spooge on the wall.
It's a pencil drawing.
by But if I do that in Starbucks they try to arrest me! of No appreciation of public art.
