A word to the wise
The Loch Ness Monster is NOT
a cephalopod
by Noticer of Details of Here for you
But I must confess
My first thought was that I saw
the Loch Ness Monster
by Lass of Slightly Used Bagpipe Shoppe
Your outboard motor
did certainly catch my eye
that day at the lake
by Nude Enthusiast behind the bush of Outdoors
I don't need to flash
at a nudist colony
with hot surfer chix.
by Surfing with dink out. of Sort of like paddle boarding.
How I picture you
Cool trench coat like Robert Stack
but flashing your dink
by Noticer of details of Solved Mystery
Quarantine Royale
Charles’ face, Camilla’s crumpet
Out comes marmalade
by Reptilian with blue balls of Fox Run (portable latrine)
Rare roast beef curtains
Horseradish makes you horny
Sam the Butcher’s load
by Alice (maid) of Meandering snailtrail
There once was a time
everyone tossed their urine
out of the window
by I. P. Frehley of Piss Jug Mountain
Don't visit much now.
Too much excremental filth.
Give the site to Darth.
by The New Look is Depressing
Bang that choco cup
into a whore's asshole with
a wooden paddle.
After which you may
suck out the peanut butter.
Post pics on Facebook.
by The Real Donald Trump
If there's no wrong way
to eat a Reese's Peanut
Butter Cup, you're lame.
You have not tried to
use your immagination.
There's lots of wrong ways.
by DW
When you get married
Pee in your spouse's coffee
and watch them drink it
by Happily Divorced
That wasn't a murder.
Suicide by Ex-Lax.
Unfortunate toilet.
by It would be funny if someone poisoned their Ex with Ex-Lax.
It’s my first time here
I hope you like my poem
Did I do it right?
by The New Poet of Bad Haiku
Police tape on door
Murder in the bathroom stall
Asshole blown apart
by Law and Odor of Crime Scene
japan to chy....na
self interest vs collect
...ive thinking right here???
by moxie
Here's something to not try.
Just try giving a shit
when you don't have a leg.
by To stand on.
What if I don't have legs?
Should I stand with my dink?
I can do it, I think.
by Dick Ramrod
Here’s something to try
See if you can take a shit
standing on one leg
by Jack Lalanne’s ghoul
Domestic terror:
The neighborly thang to do.
Apple pie and God.
by Amen, Bless You Sister of Hickry Holler
Everyone on a Earth
Release a synchronized fart
In unity’s name
by All together now of Pffffffffffffft International
Down the toilet, "weeeee".
A water slide made of pee.
Goes Sir Hankey Poo.
He knows what to do.
Sliding down with Christmas glee.
(A haikuerlick.)
by Eucalyptus?!?! of You can lick this!!
I've lost you my dear
I take up the notes of which
I remember you
You aren’t here and yet
I search for you. I need you
My email password
by Line of lines
Pooo, downgrade, waterslide
i actually peed butt
i boast surf ride my pee.
by Sewage water park. Serious business!
ooo, upgrade, surprise
i can actually read what
i post, survived me
by mox
That sounds sensible
but don't people think you might
be a detective?
by That must be Columbo of and his gun is size Jumbo
You have to hide your dink.
So I wear a trench coat.
When I'm out splatting spooge.
My fave is the ceiling.
Relax and watch it drip.
Sipping a hot coffee.
Five points arms and shoulders.
Ten points for hair or face.
Twenty if in their drink.
by And drink rhymes with dink! of You're welcome!
Invisible ink
coming from visible dink
You’ll land in the clink
by Your pen is leaking of Ha ha ha penis
That's what I've been saying!
Throw your spooge on the wall.
It's a pencil drawing.
by But if I do that in Starbucks they try to arrest me! of No appreciation of public art.
Let’s get to the point
A man has to have some lead
in the old pencil
by #2 of Ticonderoga
What can a man not do
with a head full of lead?
Chinese toy paint poison.
It hasn't stopped me yet.
Melt me down and sell me.
Absolutely wacky.
by Depleted uranium of uranium for yer anus
Well he can’t do it
With a bullet in his head
That should slow him down
by Go ballistic of Awesome
I'm inappropriate.
Twats taste better sans pierced.
Strange that I'm always hard.
by You wouldn't believe what I noticed! of You better get out the way of that train... on 2nd thought...
i'm disappointed
fonts are better sans serif
change is always hard
by ash
Pick me; I'm a booger!
Me teacher! Me! Me! Me! Me!
I want a big gold star!
by Boner inspiring. of Hot for teacher.
Ash is so sexy.
Have you seen his nude pictures?
A total heart throb.
by I'm not even gay and he turns me on!
Ash is the winner
Your prize is a free haiku
Pick any topic
by Darth Figpucker will create of a poem just for you
pick me, yes, pick me
i am a lucky poet
very deserving
by ash
The lucky poet
who submits the next haiku
will win a fun prize
by The Management of Under Old Willow
.
by Mostly Invisible Poet
An odorless gas
emanating from an ass
flying in First Class
by Al Titude of High
When Ted Bundy
drives up in his Volkswagen
don’t wave back at him
by (Puget) Sound Advice of Undisclosed
Unsolved Mysteries
I can’t get through the theme song
Cue bowel movement
by Pavlov’s Log of Freshly cut
Try this dewormer
Must be taken rectally
Wait. It will crawl out.
by Free Pet Worm of with Certificate of Adoption
I would never shit you;
You're my favorite turd.
Eternally full of shit.
Constipateternalpooabilitylicious.
That's a new medical condition I just made up.
Watch the Social Security checks roll in.
by Don't you love parasites.
I'd like to kill some folks.
I know some deserve it.
But you know how it goes.
by I just kill beers.
Jelly fish jizz fest
Cephalopod circle jerk
Where sea foam comes from
by Jacques Itch Cousteau of talking fish fart molecule
It’s like you’re my friend
who just might also be a
serial killer
Even if you are
I don’t think you would kill me
So that means we’re friends
by Your friend of Under old willow
Cross marijuana with
Venus fly traps and make
cannibal cannabis.
by Go eat yourself. of Feed me, Seymour!
Hot Dog Ministry
The preacher was a midget
He got arrested
Unless I dreamed this
To the best of my knowledge
It’s a true story
by Frank of Undisclosed
