My "Majestic Flow"
I'm not sure can be trusted.
You might get pregnant.
by Ron Jeremy of Prison for life. 
 
			
Speaking of Music,
Jimi Hendrix was Satan.
And thank God for that!
by Over the Rainbow of Along the Watchtower 
 
			
Led Zeppelin crotch bulge.
It's not about the music.
Sex, drugs, rock & roll.
by A good time was had by all...  of Backstage. 
 
			
Rehearse the worse verse.
Dog hog bog log pollywog.
Handjob in the hearse.
by Giving God handjob in limo hearse. of Blowing Satan after the FUNeral. 
 
			
That's your vagina?!
Or Arby's roast beef sandwich?
Have some horsey sauce.
by Fine dining. of Hell's Kitchen employee break room. 
 
			
Sophistication,
All the croissants and red wine
Will not give to you.
by A little death never killed anyone.
 
			
It just won't flush down
Your seventeen syllables
and kernels of corn
by Stinxy of Sphinxter 
 
			
Haiku en Francais:
Alors, qu'est-ce qu ca vous dit...
Vous, les vrais idiots?
by Un Pet Dans l'Eau of Sans Accent, bien sur 
 
			
Darth, il est le pire.
Vraiment, il me fait vomir
Et je dois le dire.
by La Comptesse de Cul
 
			
Vous n'etes que des cons.
Vous etes tellement ennuyeux.
Ca me fait chier.
by Cherchez La Femme
 
			
All is vanity . . . 
(Easy for King Sol to say
between concubines)
by Le Compte de Chie-en-lit of A La Carte menu 
 
			
nothing much to say
so why not say it in verse
say too much nothing
by ash of see what i did there ? 
 
			
savor the saviour 
and flavor your behaviour 
golden road paver
by Sheriff Taylor shot a man
 
			
Fuck me in the ass.
Do my Deliverance style.
I'll be your piggy. SKWWEEEEEEE
by Banjos dueling in the background.
 
			
C U N T.
I think that spells cunt.
Deal with it.
by Cunt Face Predator of not very sexual. 
 
			
If you aint HAIKU
Get the hell off of here NOW.
It's haiku verse, boy.
by Syllabic Orthodoxy of Epoxy 
 
			
Does this time machine
have a functional latrine?
Cause I gotta go
by 2 Late of Stained Drawers throughout Time 
 
			
Does this time machine
have a functional latrine?
Cause I gotta go
by 2 Late of Stained Drawers throughout Time 
 
			
Build a time machine.
I built one -- haven't looked back.
... oh... wait a minute.
by George Orwell's last fart.
 
			
i long for the past
as a widower grieves his wife
my heart aches
for long tomorrow
spirit i have loved
love i have lost who left
haunted, the scent of lavender
tear drop equilibrium: pain
by assumed miscreant of full broken heart 
 
			
Feces manure
ca-ca dung shit poop crap grunt
doo-doo sewage stool.
by that's why I excrement to say.
 
			
Eight Six Seven Five,
Followed by Three Zero Nine
Tommy Tutone Rules
by Big Rick of Tennessee 
 
			
Life is a highway
And I'm going to ride it
All night long (solo)
by Big Rick of Tennessee 
 
			
Patrick Swayze dead
Because Demi Moore killed him
You can look it up
by Factual fractals and pterodactyls 
 
			
Penis ghost pecker
Chase it down with ice cold milk
The burn will haunt you
by Demi of Pottery wheel 
 
			
Poop poop poop poop poop.
Dull excrementality:
That's Darth Figpucker.
by Puckered Fig  of  Yawn 
 
			
Bad Haiku News
Rush Limbaugh is dead
Perseverance lands on Mars
US Covid strains
by Crimson Mind of Phoenix, AZ 
 
			
Bad Haiku New
Cruz goes to Cancun
Cuomo Covid death count low
Texas in deep freeze
by Crimson Mind of Phoenix, AZ 
 
			
Bad Haiku News
Trump is acquitted 
57 to 43
Trump celebration
by Crimson Mind of Phoenix, AZ 
 
			
I like watermelon.
But it gives me the runs.
Damn, I wish I was black.
by Yet another reason.
 
			
Did Ozzy Osbourne
swallow the head of the bat
then poop out its skull.
by The public deserves answers!
 
			
By the same lady
that did Bernie's cute mittons
and my underwear.
by Piece of history. of Piece of ass. 
 
			
Mutton chop sideburns
Knitted from the pubic hair
of Elvis Presley
by Reabsorbed Twin of Elvis, Entrepreneur of On the Other Side but still hustling 
 
			
Let's talk religion
philosophy, and science.
Fart jokes are now banned.
by Farcebook Police Dept. of Not enough censorship in day job. 
 
			
Which is more pervy,
Woman likes child molesters
or gramps with hot babes?
by It's a sick, sick world.
 
			
Using the word "chop"
and "penis" in one haiku.
Loraina Bobbit?
by John Wayne. of Better circle the wagons, pilgram. 
 
			
When robots make poop
It comes out as a long string
Letters and numbers
by Robot of Lit 
 
			
Remember the jokes
with Johnny Fuckerfaster
He was trying to...
by Can't remember of Joke nor punchline 
 
			
Not all are bad here
Most haikus just need more work
Need... motivation.
by Warflarglbargl of Barglarglwarfl 
 
			
Elvis penis ghost
It has mutton chop sideburns
Hunk of burning love
by I will not grow up you bossy poo face
 
			
Just grow the fuck up
Its like junior high school here
Immaturity
by Bossy McFucky
 
			
Evil penis ghost
It starts out small but grows big
Then it spits at you
by Dinky Doo of Phantom Phallus Investigative Research Foundation 
 
			
Angle of dangle
Proportional to meat heat
You can’t argue that
by Slim Jim of Hanging low 
 
			
Angling is fishing
I’ve got a pole. So do you.
And you have a worm
by Catfish Net of Stalkings 
 
			
Fuck TikTok.
I'll say it again.
Fuck TikTok.
by No equation could be this true!
 
			
The angle of the dangle is proportional to the heat of the meat.
by blahblahblah
 
			
I don't know "wokeness".
But I do know "Wookieness".
Just bang drunk Ewoks.
by DARTH Whorendous is the name.
 
			
For math tutoring
I just need lots of money
or some LSD.
The drugs are for you.
Then you'll think that you learned math.
When you're just trippin'.
by Think I give away my secrets for peanuts?!?!
 
			
is df on here?
i want to have some advice
on fixing wokeness
by moxie
 
			
How do I sign up
for math tutoring, Darth?
I need extra help
by G.E.