Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 111 Days and 70192 Haikus later...

Haiku en Francais:
Alors, qu'est-ce qu ca vous dit...
Vous, les vrais idiots?
Haiku # 70138, February 23, 2021 8:14 am ET
by Un Pet Dans l'Eau of Sans Accent, bien sur
Darth, il est le pire.
Vraiment, il me fait vomir
Et je dois le dire.
Haiku # 70137, February 23, 2021 7:56 am ET
by La Comptesse de Cul
Vous n'etes que des cons.
Vous etes tellement ennuyeux.
Ca me fait chier.
Haiku # 70136, February 23, 2021 7:53 am ET
by Cherchez La Femme
All is vanity . . .
(Easy for King Sol to say
between concubines)
Haiku # 70135, February 23, 2021 7:50 am ET
by Le Compte de Chie-en-lit of A La Carte menu
nothing much to say
so why not say it in verse
say too much nothing
Haiku # 70134, February 23, 2021 6:52 am ET
by ash of see what i did there ?
savor the saviour
and flavor your behaviour
golden road paver
Haiku # 70133, February 22, 2021 9:13 pm ET
by Sheriff Taylor shot a man
Fuck me in the ass.
Do my Deliverance style.
I'll be your piggy. SKWWEEEEEEE
Haiku # 70131, February 22, 2021 9:41 am ET
by Banjos dueling in the background.
C U N T.
I think that spells cunt.
Deal with it.
Haiku # 70130, February 22, 2021 9:35 am ET
by Cunt Face Predator of not very sexual.
If you aint HAIKU
Get the hell off of here NOW.
It's haiku verse, boy.
Haiku # 70129, February 22, 2021 5:52 am ET
by Syllabic Orthodoxy of Epoxy
Does this time machine
have a functional latrine?
Cause I gotta go
Haiku # 70128, February 22, 2021 3:53 am ET
by 2 Late of Stained Drawers throughout Time
Does this time machine
have a functional latrine?
Cause I gotta go
Haiku # 70127, February 22, 2021 3:53 am ET
by 2 Late of Stained Drawers throughout Time
Build a time machine.
I built one -- haven't looked back.
... oh... wait a minute.
Haiku # 70126, February 21, 2021 1:51 am ET
by George Orwell's last fart.
i long for the past
as a widower grieves his wife
my heart aches
for long tomorrow
spirit i have loved
love i have lost who left
haunted, the scent of lavender
tear drop equilibrium: pain
Haiku # 70125, February 20, 2021 7:44 pm ET
by assumed miscreant of full broken heart
Feces manure
ca-ca dung shit poop crap grunt
doo-doo sewage stool.
Haiku # 70124, February 20, 2021 1:15 am ET
by that's why I excrement to say.
Shroud-ing all the ground around me
Is this holy crow above me
Black as holes within a memory
And blue as our new second sun
I stick my hand into his shadow
To pull the pieces from the sand
Which I attempt to reassemble
To see just who I might have been
I do not recognize the vessel
But the eyes seem so familiar
Like phosphorescent desert buttons
Singing one familiar song
Haiku # 70123, February 20, 2021 1:08 am ET
by While we're trading flatulence and wafting...
Eight Six Seven Five,
Followed by Three Zero Nine
Tommy Tutone Rules
Haiku # 70122, February 19, 2021 10:05 pm ET
by Big Rick of Tennessee
Life is a highway
And I'm going to ride it
All night long (solo)
Haiku # 70121, February 19, 2021 10:00 pm ET
by Big Rick of Tennessee
Patrick Swayze dead
Because Demi Moore killed him
You can look it up
Haiku # 70120, February 19, 2021 8:43 pm ET
by Factual fractals and pterodactyls
Penis ghost pecker
Chase it down with ice cold milk
The burn will haunt you
Haiku # 70119, February 19, 2021 6:52 pm ET
by Demi of Pottery wheel
Poop poop poop poop poop.
Dull excrementality:
That's Darth Figpucker.
Haiku # 70118, February 19, 2021 12:39 pm ET
by Puckered Fig of Yawn
Bad Haiku News

Rush Limbaugh is dead
Perseverance lands on Mars
US Covid strains
Haiku # 70117, February 19, 2021 10:14 am ET
by Crimson Mind of Phoenix, AZ
Bad Haiku New

Cruz goes to Cancun
Cuomo Covid death count low
Texas in deep freeze
Haiku # 70116, February 19, 2021 10:13 am ET
by Crimson Mind of Phoenix, AZ
Bad Haiku News

Trump is acquitted
57 to 43
Trump celebration
Haiku # 70115, February 19, 2021 10:12 am ET
by Crimson Mind of Phoenix, AZ
I like watermelon.
But it gives me the runs.
Damn, I wish I was black.
Haiku # 70114, February 18, 2021 4:04 pm ET
by Yet another reason.
Did Ozzy Osbourne
swallow the head of the bat
then poop out its skull.
Haiku # 70113, February 18, 2021 5:00 am ET
by The public deserves answers!
By the same lady
that did Bernie's cute mittons
and my underwear.
Haiku # 70112, February 18, 2021 4:52 am ET
by Piece of history. of Piece of ass.
Mutton chop sideburns
Knitted from the pubic hair
of Elvis Presley
Haiku # 70111, February 18, 2021 1:42 am ET
by Reabsorbed Twin of Elvis, Entrepreneur of On the Other Side but still hustling
Let's talk religion
philosophy, and science.
Fart jokes are now banned.
Haiku # 70110, February 17, 2021 8:36 pm ET
by Farcebook Police Dept. of Not enough censorship in day job.
Which is more pervy,
Woman likes child molesters
or gramps with hot babes?
Haiku # 70109, February 17, 2021 11:17 am ET
by It's a sick, sick world.
Using the word "chop"
and "penis" in one haiku.
Loraina Bobbit?
Haiku # 70108, February 17, 2021 11:08 am ET
by John Wayne. of Better circle the wagons, pilgram.
When robots make poop
It comes out as a long string
Letters and numbers
Haiku # 70107, February 17, 2021 3:02 am ET
by Robot of Lit
Remember the jokes
with Johnny Fuckerfaster
He was trying to...
Haiku # 70105, February 16, 2021 7:44 pm ET
by Can't remember of Joke nor punchline
Not all are bad here
Most haikus just need more work
Need... motivation.
Haiku # 70104, February 16, 2021 6:53 pm ET
by Warflarglbargl of Barglarglwarfl
Elvis penis ghost
It has mutton chop sideburns
Hunk of burning love
Haiku # 70103, February 16, 2021 2:34 pm ET
by I will not grow up you bossy poo face
Just grow the fuck up
Its like junior high school here
Immaturity
Haiku # 70102, February 16, 2021 11:11 am ET
by Bossy McFucky
Evil penis ghost
It starts out small but grows big
Then it spits at you
Haiku # 70101, February 16, 2021 2:02 am ET
by Dinky Doo of Phantom Phallus Investigative Research Foundation
Angle of dangle
Proportional to meat heat
You can’t argue that
Haiku # 70100, February 16, 2021 1:59 am ET
by Slim Jim of Hanging low
Angling is fishing
I’ve got a pole. So do you.
And you have a worm
Haiku # 70099, February 15, 2021 10:31 pm ET
by Catfish Net of Stalkings
Fuck TikTok.
I'll say it again.
Fuck TikTok.
Haiku # 70098, February 15, 2021 10:05 am ET
by No equation could be this true!
The angle of the dangle is proportional to the heat of the meat.
Haiku # 70097, February 15, 2021 10:01 am ET
by blahblahblah
I don't know "wokeness".
But I do know "Wookieness".
Just bang drunk Ewoks.
Haiku # 70096, February 15, 2021 9:57 am ET
by DARTH Whorendous is the name.
For math tutoring
I just need lots of money
or some LSD.

The drugs are for you.
Then you'll think that you learned math.
When you're just trippin'.
Haiku # 70095, February 15, 2021 9:54 am ET
by Think I give away my secrets for peanuts?!?!
is df on here?
i want to have some advice
on fixing wokeness
Haiku # 70094, February 14, 2021 11:25 pm ET
by moxie
How do I sign up
for math tutoring, Darth?
I need extra help
Haiku # 70092, February 14, 2021 6:58 pm ET
by G.E.
Schrodinger's dinger;
It is both erect and not.
First you must observe!
Haiku # 70091, February 14, 2021 6:25 pm ET
by You get what you get, don't throw a fit.
The amount of cats
is only approximate.
Schrodinger's grandma.
Haiku # 70090, February 14, 2021 6:21 pm ET
by Check out my huge equation!
This Valentine’s Day
Get her what she really wants
Kittens! Kittens! Cats!
Haiku # 70089, February 14, 2021 4:01 am ET
by You Know of It’s True
It's good to be home.
But it's better to be in
the local brothel.
Haiku # 70088, February 13, 2021 12:14 pm ET
by Valentines Day and Venereal Disease of Like chocolate and peanut butter. Extra crunchy.
Not all that funny.
Not boner inspiring.
Not worth watching it.
Haiku # 70087, February 13, 2021 12:11 pm ET
by Mr. Negativity w/ slow internet.
i had to share this
because it is just so good
trust me, you'll love it


https://youtu.be/BZlRt05RY9Y
Haiku # 70086, February 13, 2021 4:08 am ET
by ash
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