Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 30 Days and 77412 Haiku later...

You had to say that.
I'm about to go surfing.
Will it get on me?
Haiku # 70164, February 26, 2021 11:40 pm ET
by Ewwwwww
The Hager Brothers
jerking off in unison
Twin sea monkey spooj
Haiku # 70163, February 26, 2021 10:37 pm ET
by Beauregard of Floor
Hand job in the hearse
Embalming fluid. Watch out!
A stiff one to go!
Haiku # 70162, February 26, 2021 9:41 pm ET
by As seen of At a traffic light
You mean Cock Magic?
Like Randy Marsh on South Park?
So original!!!
Haiku # 70161, February 26, 2021 6:24 am ET
by Open your mouth. of Watch the disappearing cock.
Table levitates
Darth's Rise and Shine Breakfast Show
Magician or perv?
Haiku # 70160, February 25, 2021 8:08 pm ET
by Lady Marmalade of Spreadable
Eggs over easy.
Wheat toast with strawberry jam.
And a strong coffee.
Haiku # 70159, February 25, 2021 7:33 pm ET
by Maybe two. of Here's a schlong waffle for you.
Jodido gringo
Ju aluays talk abaut sheet.
Que tu problema?
Haiku # 70158, February 25, 2021 5:37 pm ET
by Juan Cabrales of Huichoctilapanantlamixotl
Two black crows
Sit and talking on the tree
Third world war
Haiku # 70157, February 25, 2021 10:52 am ET
by Otteri Selva Kumar of Tomorrow Haiku magazine, Otteri, Chennai
What is end
About with wind
Search again
Haiku # 70156, February 25, 2021 6:56 am ET
by Otteri Selva Kumar of Otteri, Chennai
i found my mojo
it was in the bottom drawer
near my underpants
Haiku # 70155, February 25, 2021 6:23 am ET
by ash
The man with no dink
shoplifting hard salami
leads a pack of dogs
Haiku # 70154, February 25, 2021 5:12 am ET
by Slim Jim of On the run
Which do you prefer:
Hungarian, kielbasa,
Or plain Jimmy Dean?

Andouille, bratwurst,
chorizo, or Italian?
Eat them all right now.

I sense heart attack.
I'm buying life insurance
on you my good friend.
Haiku # 70153, February 25, 2021 12:21 am ET
by Please send your personal info of so that I can profit from your cholesterol addiction.
The results are in
Nothing in the world compares
Personal sausage
Haiku # 70152, February 24, 2021 11:40 pm ET
by Personally Yours of Meat Aisle
My word is sausage
Now you know what you must do.
Good luck and Godspeed
Haiku # 70150, February 24, 2021 11:13 pm ET
by .
Beneath the surface,
But always in tow, my friend,
I await your word.
Haiku # 70149, February 24, 2021 9:20 pm ET
by fellownarrator of The abyss
After all this time.
Which of these haiku is worst.
Shall we take a vote?
Haiku # 70148, February 24, 2021 8:27 pm ET
by Bernie's left mitton. of Bernie does horrible things to me... horrible, I tell you!
My "Majestic Flow"
I'm not sure can be trusted.
You might get pregnant.
Haiku # 70147, February 24, 2021 7:50 pm ET
by Ron Jeremy of Prison for life.
Speaking of Music,
Jimi Hendrix was Satan.
And thank God for that!
Haiku # 70145, February 24, 2021 11:38 am ET
by Over the Rainbow of Along the Watchtower
Led Zeppelin crotch bulge.
It's not about the music.
Sex, drugs, rock & roll.
Haiku # 70144, February 24, 2021 11:34 am ET
by A good time was had by all... of Backstage.
Rehearse the worse verse.
Dog hog bog log pollywog.
Handjob in the hearse.
Haiku # 70143, February 24, 2021 11:31 am ET
by Giving God handjob in limo hearse. of Blowing Satan after the FUNeral.
That's your vagina?!
Or Arby's roast beef sandwich?
Have some horsey sauce.
Haiku # 70142, February 24, 2021 10:38 am ET
by Fine dining. of Hell's Kitchen employee break room.
Sophistication,
All the croissants and red wine
Will not give to you.
Haiku # 70141, February 24, 2021 6:28 am ET
by A little death never killed anyone.
It just won't flush down
Your seventeen syllables
and kernels of corn
Haiku # 70140, February 24, 2021 4:39 am ET
by Stinxy of Sphinxter
Haiku en Francais:
Alors, qu'est-ce qu ca vous dit...
Vous, les vrais idiots?
Haiku # 70138, February 23, 2021 8:14 am ET
by Un Pet Dans l'Eau of Sans Accent, bien sur
Darth, il est le pire.
Vraiment, il me fait vomir
Et je dois le dire.
Haiku # 70137, February 23, 2021 7:56 am ET
by La Comptesse de Cul
Vous n'etes que des cons.
Vous etes tellement ennuyeux.
Ca me fait chier.
Haiku # 70136, February 23, 2021 7:53 am ET
by Cherchez La Femme
All is vanity . . .
(Easy for King Sol to say
between concubines)
Haiku # 70135, February 23, 2021 7:50 am ET
by Le Compte de Chie-en-lit of A La Carte menu
nothing much to say
so why not say it in verse
say too much nothing
Haiku # 70134, February 23, 2021 6:52 am ET
by ash of see what i did there ?
savor the saviour
and flavor your behaviour
golden road paver
Haiku # 70133, February 22, 2021 9:13 pm ET
by Sheriff Taylor shot a man
Fuck me in the ass.
Do my Deliverance style.
I'll be your piggy. SKWWEEEEEEE
Haiku # 70131, February 22, 2021 9:41 am ET
by Banjos dueling in the background.
C U N T.
I think that spells cunt.
Deal with it.
Haiku # 70130, February 22, 2021 9:35 am ET
by Cunt Face Predator of not very sexual.
If you aint HAIKU
Get the hell off of here NOW.
It's haiku verse, boy.
Haiku # 70129, February 22, 2021 5:52 am ET
by Syllabic Orthodoxy of Epoxy
Does this time machine
have a functional latrine?
Cause I gotta go
Haiku # 70128, February 22, 2021 3:53 am ET
by 2 Late of Stained Drawers throughout Time
Does this time machine
have a functional latrine?
Cause I gotta go
Haiku # 70127, February 22, 2021 3:53 am ET
by 2 Late of Stained Drawers throughout Time
Build a time machine.
I built one -- haven't looked back.
... oh... wait a minute.
Haiku # 70126, February 21, 2021 1:51 am ET
by George Orwell's last fart.
i long for the past
as a widower grieves his wife
my heart aches
for long tomorrow
spirit i have loved
love i have lost who left
haunted, the scent of lavender
tear drop equilibrium: pain
Haiku # 70125, February 20, 2021 7:44 pm ET
by assumed miscreant of full broken heart
Feces manure
ca-ca dung shit poop crap grunt
doo-doo sewage stool.
Haiku # 70124, February 20, 2021 1:15 am ET
by that's why I excrement to say.
Eight Six Seven Five,
Followed by Three Zero Nine
Tommy Tutone Rules
Haiku # 70122, February 19, 2021 10:05 pm ET
by Big Rick of Tennessee
Life is a highway
And I'm going to ride it
All night long (solo)
Haiku # 70121, February 19, 2021 10:00 pm ET
by Big Rick of Tennessee
Patrick Swayze dead
Because Demi Moore killed him
You can look it up
Haiku # 70120, February 19, 2021 8:43 pm ET
by Factual fractals and pterodactyls
Penis ghost pecker
Chase it down with ice cold milk
The burn will haunt you
Haiku # 70119, February 19, 2021 6:52 pm ET
by Demi of Pottery wheel
Poop poop poop poop poop.
Dull excrementality:
That's Darth Figpucker.
Haiku # 70118, February 19, 2021 12:39 pm ET
by Puckered Fig of Yawn
Bad Haiku News

Rush Limbaugh is dead
Perseverance lands on Mars
US Covid strains
Haiku # 70117, February 19, 2021 10:14 am ET
by Crimson Mind of Phoenix, AZ
Bad Haiku New

Cruz goes to Cancun
Cuomo Covid death count low
Texas in deep freeze
Haiku # 70116, February 19, 2021 10:13 am ET
by Crimson Mind of Phoenix, AZ
Bad Haiku News

Trump is acquitted
57 to 43
Trump celebration
Haiku # 70115, February 19, 2021 10:12 am ET
by Crimson Mind of Phoenix, AZ
I like watermelon.
But it gives me the runs.
Damn, I wish I was black.
Haiku # 70114, February 18, 2021 4:04 pm ET
by Yet another reason.
Did Ozzy Osbourne
swallow the head of the bat
then poop out its skull.
Haiku # 70113, February 18, 2021 5:00 am ET
by The public deserves answers!
By the same lady
that did Bernie's cute mittons
and my underwear.
Haiku # 70112, February 18, 2021 4:52 am ET
by Piece of history. of Piece of ass.
Mutton chop sideburns
Knitted from the pubic hair
of Elvis Presley
Haiku # 70111, February 18, 2021 1:42 am ET
by Reabsorbed Twin of Elvis, Entrepreneur of On the Other Side but still hustling
Let's talk religion
philosophy, and science.
Fart jokes are now banned.
Haiku # 70110, February 17, 2021 8:36 pm ET
by Farcebook Police Dept. of Not enough censorship in day job.
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