Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 313 Days and 72106 Haikus later...

I'll fart in your face
for only fifty dollars.
Your private tooter.
Haiku # 70173, February 28, 2021 10:32 am ET
by Toot toot tugboat
I'll divide the dink,
then throw it out the window,
and then it will stink.
Haiku # 70172, February 28, 2021 10:30 am ET
by Lorena Bobbit Worm of Bobbing Dinks Since 1993.
The heat of the meat
Divided by the angle
of the dink’s dangle
Haiku # 70171, February 28, 2021 1:23 am ET
by Meatmatician of Private Tutoring Session
"If I say it's safe to surf this beach, Captain, then it's safe to surf this beach!"
Haiku # 70170, February 27, 2021 8:57 pm ET
by I love the smell of napalm in the morning. It smells like... victory. of Ghosts of Baler Bay
The Sunday Dinner
Father spent the whole weekend
“Basting the chicken”
Haiku # 70169, February 27, 2021 6:07 pm ET
by Norman Rockwell of Vault of Pornography
i hate to return
here to see everywhere else
torn apart ...spoiled brats
Haiku # 70168, February 27, 2021 11:14 am ET
by moxie
i like the new set
up on here, irony is
keen to return here
Haiku # 70167, February 27, 2021 11:04 am ET
by moxie
i see the censors
are trying to destroy stuff
before self destroy
Haiku # 70166, February 27, 2021 10:58 am ET
by vhs
Charlie, you don’t surf
Well, maybe the internet
and the tuna tides
Haiku # 70165, February 27, 2021 12:53 am ET
by Tiny Hair of In between teeth
You had to say that.
I'm about to go surfing.
Will it get on me?
Haiku # 70164, February 26, 2021 11:40 pm ET
by Ewwwwww
The Hager Brothers
jerking off in unison
Twin sea monkey spooj
Haiku # 70163, February 26, 2021 10:37 pm ET
by Beauregard of Floor
Hand job in the hearse
Embalming fluid. Watch out!
A stiff one to go!
Haiku # 70162, February 26, 2021 9:41 pm ET
by As seen of At a traffic light
You mean Cock Magic?
Like Randy Marsh on South Park?
So original!!!
Haiku # 70161, February 26, 2021 6:24 am ET
by Open your mouth. of Watch the disappearing cock.
Table levitates
Darth's Rise and Shine Breakfast Show
Magician or perv?
Haiku # 70160, February 25, 2021 8:08 pm ET
by Lady Marmalade of Spreadable
Eggs over easy.
Wheat toast with strawberry jam.
And a strong coffee.
Haiku # 70159, February 25, 2021 7:33 pm ET
by Maybe two. of Here's a schlong waffle for you.
Jodido gringo
Ju aluays talk abaut sheet.
Que tu problema?
Haiku # 70158, February 25, 2021 5:37 pm ET
by Juan Cabrales of Huichoctilapanantlamixotl
Two black crows
Sit and talking on the tree
Third world war
Haiku # 70157, February 25, 2021 10:52 am ET
by Otteri Selva Kumar of Tomorrow Haiku magazine, Otteri, Chennai
What is end
About with wind
Search again
Haiku # 70156, February 25, 2021 6:56 am ET
by Otteri Selva Kumar of Otteri, Chennai
i found my mojo
it was in the bottom drawer
near my underpants
Haiku # 70155, February 25, 2021 6:23 am ET
by ash
The man with no dink
shoplifting hard salami
leads a pack of dogs
Haiku # 70154, February 25, 2021 5:12 am ET
by Slim Jim of On the run
Which do you prefer:
Hungarian, kielbasa,
Or plain Jimmy Dean?

Andouille, bratwurst,
chorizo, or Italian?
Eat them all right now.

I sense heart attack.
I'm buying life insurance
on you my good friend.
Haiku # 70153, February 25, 2021 12:21 am ET
by Please send your personal info of so that I can profit from your cholesterol addiction.
The results are in
Nothing in the world compares
Personal sausage
Haiku # 70152, February 24, 2021 11:40 pm ET
by Personally Yours of Meat Aisle
My word is sausage
Now you know what you must do.
Good luck and Godspeed
Haiku # 70150, February 24, 2021 11:13 pm ET
by .
Beneath the surface,
But always in tow, my friend,
I await your word.
Haiku # 70149, February 24, 2021 9:20 pm ET
by fellownarrator of The abyss
After all this time.
Which of these haiku is worst.
Shall we take a vote?
Haiku # 70148, February 24, 2021 8:27 pm ET
by Bernie's left mitton. of Bernie does horrible things to me... horrible, I tell you!
My "Majestic Flow"
I'm not sure can be trusted.
You might get pregnant.
Haiku # 70147, February 24, 2021 7:50 pm ET
by Ron Jeremy of Prison for life.
Speaking of Music,
Jimi Hendrix was Satan.
And thank God for that!
Haiku # 70145, February 24, 2021 11:38 am ET
by Over the Rainbow of Along the Watchtower
Led Zeppelin crotch bulge.
It's not about the music.
Sex, drugs, rock & roll.
Haiku # 70144, February 24, 2021 11:34 am ET
by A good time was had by all... of Backstage.
Rehearse the worse verse.
Dog hog bog log pollywog.
Handjob in the hearse.
Haiku # 70143, February 24, 2021 11:31 am ET
by Giving God handjob in limo hearse. of Blowing Satan after the FUNeral.
That's your vagina?!
Or Arby's roast beef sandwich?
Have some horsey sauce.
Haiku # 70142, February 24, 2021 10:38 am ET
by Fine dining. of Hell's Kitchen employee break room.
Sophistication,
All the croissants and red wine
Will not give to you.
Haiku # 70141, February 24, 2021 6:28 am ET
by A little death never killed anyone.
It just won't flush down
Your seventeen syllables
and kernels of corn
Haiku # 70140, February 24, 2021 4:39 am ET
by Stinxy of Sphinxter
Haiku en Francais:
Alors, qu'est-ce qu ca vous dit...
Vous, les vrais idiots?
Haiku # 70138, February 23, 2021 8:14 am ET
by Un Pet Dans l'Eau of Sans Accent, bien sur
Darth, il est le pire.
Vraiment, il me fait vomir
Et je dois le dire.
Haiku # 70137, February 23, 2021 7:56 am ET
by La Comptesse de Cul
Vous n'etes que des cons.
Vous etes tellement ennuyeux.
Ca me fait chier.
Haiku # 70136, February 23, 2021 7:53 am ET
by Cherchez La Femme
All is vanity . . .
(Easy for King Sol to say
between concubines)
Haiku # 70135, February 23, 2021 7:50 am ET
by Le Compte de Chie-en-lit of A La Carte menu
nothing much to say
so why not say it in verse
say too much nothing
Haiku # 70134, February 23, 2021 6:52 am ET
by ash of see what i did there ?
savor the saviour
and flavor your behaviour
golden road paver
Haiku # 70133, February 22, 2021 9:13 pm ET
by Sheriff Taylor shot a man
Fuck me in the ass.
Do my Deliverance style.
I'll be your piggy. SKWWEEEEEEE
Haiku # 70131, February 22, 2021 9:41 am ET
by Banjos dueling in the background.
C U N T.
I think that spells cunt.
Deal with it.
Haiku # 70130, February 22, 2021 9:35 am ET
by Cunt Face Predator of not very sexual.
If you aint HAIKU
Get the hell off of here NOW.
It's haiku verse, boy.
Haiku # 70129, February 22, 2021 5:52 am ET
by Syllabic Orthodoxy of Epoxy
Does this time machine
have a functional latrine?
Cause I gotta go
Haiku # 70128, February 22, 2021 3:53 am ET
by 2 Late of Stained Drawers throughout Time
Does this time machine
have a functional latrine?
Cause I gotta go
Haiku # 70127, February 22, 2021 3:53 am ET
by 2 Late of Stained Drawers throughout Time
Build a time machine.
I built one -- haven't looked back.
... oh... wait a minute.
Haiku # 70126, February 21, 2021 1:51 am ET
by George Orwell's last fart.
i long for the past
as a widower grieves his wife
my heart aches
for long tomorrow
spirit i have loved
love i have lost who left
haunted, the scent of lavender
tear drop equilibrium: pain
Haiku # 70125, February 20, 2021 7:44 pm ET
by assumed miscreant of full broken heart
Feces manure
ca-ca dung shit poop crap grunt
doo-doo sewage stool.
Haiku # 70124, February 20, 2021 1:15 am ET
by that's why I excrement to say.
Eight Six Seven Five,
Followed by Three Zero Nine
Tommy Tutone Rules
Haiku # 70122, February 19, 2021 10:05 pm ET
by Big Rick of Tennessee
Life is a highway
And I'm going to ride it
All night long (solo)
Haiku # 70121, February 19, 2021 10:00 pm ET
by Big Rick of Tennessee
Patrick Swayze dead
Because Demi Moore killed him
You can look it up
Haiku # 70120, February 19, 2021 8:43 pm ET
by Factual fractals and pterodactyls
Penis ghost pecker
Chase it down with ice cold milk
The burn will haunt you
Haiku # 70119, February 19, 2021 6:52 pm ET
by Demi of Pottery wheel
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