Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 313 Days and 72106 Haikus later...

Fart Philosophy
Put the Cart before the Funt
Cuntfart Cuntfart Cunt
Haiku # 70196, March 4, 2021 10:47 am ET
by That "Guy" of Fart Philosophy 101
Once upon a time
this guy named Funt owned a cart.
What happened to him?

Did the dogs eat him
and all his rotten verses?
Would be no surprise.
Haiku # 70195, March 4, 2021 3:03 am ET
by We need more filth! of There is not enough on Facebook.
Once upon a time
there was this one millipede
with a foot fetish
Haiku # 70194, March 3, 2021 11:36 pm ET
by P. Bunion of Undisclosed
Have you tried swimming?
Dolphins and whales do it.
Don't be a tortoise!
Haiku # 70193, March 3, 2021 8:28 pm ET
by There is always a way. of But it might kill you.
Cannot part, and the
Cable's indestructible:
Accepting of this
Haiku # 70192, March 3, 2021 7:13 am ET
by skepticaloptimist of Sea level
Au gratin verses.
The dogs enjoy eating cheese.
Fromage fromunda.
Haiku # 70191, March 2, 2021 7:31 pm ET
by Kibbles and Bits. of Nibble my Bits. Nipples and Tits.
Otters eat raw fish.
So that makes them Japanese.
And they write haiku.
Haiku # 70190, March 2, 2021 7:26 pm ET
by Nippers with flippers. of Well, flipper-like tails.
In the mirror
I sit on your face
Humpty Dumpty.
Haiku # 70189, March 2, 2021 6:24 pm ET
by 13 years bad luck
On the mirror
I am see my face
Only empty
Haiku # 70188, March 2, 2021 3:01 pm ET
by Otteri Selva Kumar of The Open International Haiku University, Otteri , Chennai
Super Absorbent
Unscented Haiku Tampons
for your monthly flow
Haiku # 70186, March 2, 2021 4:23 am ET
by Lou Minol of Under Old Willow
Under umbrella
Rain water droping
Dew mood
Haiku # 70185, March 2, 2021 3:15 am ET
by Otteri Selva Kumar of The Open International Haiku University, Otteri , Chennai
Day-Glo Easter Eggs
Jesus in the Time Tunnel
with the X-Ray Eyes
Haiku # 70184, March 1, 2021 8:49 pm ET
by Donnie Darko of Mirror
Left me just say this
You have impeccable taste
and no after taste

Aftertaste’s Restaurant
Like licking yesterday’s beard
with your dry forked tongue
Haiku # 70183, March 1, 2021 8:42 pm ET
by Your Fart of Is the finest compliment
Time to go shopping.
Milk, eggs, bacon, sandwich meat,
wheat bread, cheddar cheese.

Butter, Nutella,
orange soda, chips, fruits, veggies,
off switch for children.
Haiku # 70182, March 1, 2021 8:07 pm ET
by LSD overdose. of In the corner, drooling, eating my boogers, for eternity.
To go back in time,
kidnap Jesus to our time,
quantum tunneling.
Haiku # 70181, March 1, 2021 8:02 pm ET
by Dinosaur Train Time Tunnel. of Why not?!
Back in the good days:
Willy Wonka chocolate bars.
Chocolate crunchy bliss.
Haiku # 70180, March 1, 2021 7:59 pm ET
by Set time machine to 1980.
Grandpa Walton said
When you shit your overalls
no one is your friend
Haiku # 70179, March 1, 2021 7:33 am ET
by Alone of Porch
Haiku Hillbilly
Swigging moonshine from a jug
Pissing syllables
Haiku # 70178, February 28, 2021 10:58 pm ET
by Haiku Hillbilly of Haiku Holler
God and the Bible
and Jesus and the Spirit
And, yes, all of that.
Haiku # 70177, February 28, 2021 4:21 pm ET
by St. Apostate of Coffee-Mate
Uninstalled the game
Not going to waste the time
On to better things
Haiku # 70176, February 28, 2021 3:00 pm ET
by thongs for squirrels
Hey, Pompeii Wanker
Your chariot awaits, sir
(Hand Job in a hearse)
Haiku # 70175, February 28, 2021 1:27 pm ET
by Archie O’logical of Dig this, Daddy-O!!
Here's the down payment
on the sweet smell of a fart
Payment by ShitCoin
Haiku # 70174, February 28, 2021 11:47 am ET
by Anal Musk of Trunk of sibling's car
I'll fart in your face
for only fifty dollars.
Your private tooter.
Haiku # 70173, February 28, 2021 10:32 am ET
by Toot toot tugboat
I'll divide the dink,
then throw it out the window,
and then it will stink.
Haiku # 70172, February 28, 2021 10:30 am ET
by Lorena Bobbit Worm of Bobbing Dinks Since 1993.
The heat of the meat
Divided by the angle
of the dink’s dangle
Haiku # 70171, February 28, 2021 1:23 am ET
by Meatmatician of Private Tutoring Session
"If I say it's safe to surf this beach, Captain, then it's safe to surf this beach!"
Haiku # 70170, February 27, 2021 8:57 pm ET
by I love the smell of napalm in the morning. It smells like... victory. of Ghosts of Baler Bay
The Sunday Dinner
Father spent the whole weekend
“Basting the chicken”
Haiku # 70169, February 27, 2021 6:07 pm ET
by Norman Rockwell of Vault of Pornography
i hate to return
here to see everywhere else
torn apart ...spoiled brats
Haiku # 70168, February 27, 2021 11:14 am ET
by moxie
i like the new set
up on here, irony is
keen to return here
Haiku # 70167, February 27, 2021 11:04 am ET
by moxie
i see the censors
are trying to destroy stuff
before self destroy
Haiku # 70166, February 27, 2021 10:58 am ET
by vhs
Charlie, you don’t surf
Well, maybe the internet
and the tuna tides
Haiku # 70165, February 27, 2021 12:53 am ET
by Tiny Hair of In between teeth
You had to say that.
I'm about to go surfing.
Will it get on me?
Haiku # 70164, February 26, 2021 11:40 pm ET
by Ewwwwww
The Hager Brothers
jerking off in unison
Twin sea monkey spooj
Haiku # 70163, February 26, 2021 10:37 pm ET
by Beauregard of Floor
Hand job in the hearse
Embalming fluid. Watch out!
A stiff one to go!
Haiku # 70162, February 26, 2021 9:41 pm ET
by As seen of At a traffic light
You mean Cock Magic?
Like Randy Marsh on South Park?
So original!!!
Haiku # 70161, February 26, 2021 6:24 am ET
by Open your mouth. of Watch the disappearing cock.
Table levitates
Darth's Rise and Shine Breakfast Show
Magician or perv?
Haiku # 70160, February 25, 2021 8:08 pm ET
by Lady Marmalade of Spreadable
Eggs over easy.
Wheat toast with strawberry jam.
And a strong coffee.
Haiku # 70159, February 25, 2021 7:33 pm ET
by Maybe two. of Here's a schlong waffle for you.
Jodido gringo
Ju aluays talk abaut sheet.
Que tu problema?
Haiku # 70158, February 25, 2021 5:37 pm ET
by Juan Cabrales of Huichoctilapanantlamixotl
Two black crows
Sit and talking on the tree
Third world war
Haiku # 70157, February 25, 2021 10:52 am ET
by Otteri Selva Kumar of Tomorrow Haiku magazine, Otteri, Chennai
What is end
About with wind
Search again
Haiku # 70156, February 25, 2021 6:56 am ET
by Otteri Selva Kumar of Otteri, Chennai
i found my mojo
it was in the bottom drawer
near my underpants
Haiku # 70155, February 25, 2021 6:23 am ET
by ash
The man with no dink
shoplifting hard salami
leads a pack of dogs
Haiku # 70154, February 25, 2021 5:12 am ET
by Slim Jim of On the run
Which do you prefer:
Hungarian, kielbasa,
Or plain Jimmy Dean?

Andouille, bratwurst,
chorizo, or Italian?
Eat them all right now.

I sense heart attack.
I'm buying life insurance
on you my good friend.
Haiku # 70153, February 25, 2021 12:21 am ET
by Please send your personal info of so that I can profit from your cholesterol addiction.
The results are in
Nothing in the world compares
Personal sausage
Haiku # 70152, February 24, 2021 11:40 pm ET
by Personally Yours of Meat Aisle
My word is sausage
Now you know what you must do.
Good luck and Godspeed
Haiku # 70150, February 24, 2021 11:13 pm ET
by .
Beneath the surface,
But always in tow, my friend,
I await your word.
Haiku # 70149, February 24, 2021 9:20 pm ET
by fellownarrator of The abyss
After all this time.
Which of these haiku is worst.
Shall we take a vote?
Haiku # 70148, February 24, 2021 8:27 pm ET
by Bernie's left mitton. of Bernie does horrible things to me... horrible, I tell you!
My "Majestic Flow"
I'm not sure can be trusted.
You might get pregnant.
Haiku # 70147, February 24, 2021 7:50 pm ET
by Ron Jeremy of Prison for life.
Speaking of Music,
Jimi Hendrix was Satan.
And thank God for that!
Haiku # 70145, February 24, 2021 11:38 am ET
by Over the Rainbow of Along the Watchtower
Led Zeppelin crotch bulge.
It's not about the music.
Sex, drugs, rock & roll.
Haiku # 70144, February 24, 2021 11:34 am ET
by A good time was had by all... of Backstage.
< 50 Less Recent Haiku 50 More Recent Haiku >