Bashō says something unhelpful
Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
29 Years, 56 Days and 78008 Haiku later...
Sandy's a fag hag.
Sponge Bob pretends to be gay
so he can get some.
Haiku # 70253 March 11, 2021 5:12 pm ET
by Pooparazzi with Proof
By eating pussy
you'll destroy the universe
one squirell at a time.
Haiku # 70252 March 11, 2021 5:10 pm ET
by Sandy's Scuba Gear of Bikini Bottom
You just inspired
Enema Vending Machine
See me on Shart Tank
Haiku # 70250 March 11, 2021 12:46 pm ET
by Enema of The People
I once sucked a dick.
I also wrote a poem.
Which one is more gay?
Haiku # 70249 March 11, 2021 10:32 am ET
by Asking for an enema.
I just did suck dick
The dick was not very big
Mine not bigger tho
Haiku # 70248 March 11, 2021 8:54 am ET
by smolDicc
Did I touch a nerve?
Was it in your clitoris?
Cutting of the Rose!
Haiku # 70247 March 10, 2021 9:10 pm ET
by I should have been an Arab. of Seems like their culture is more sane than ours.
New Reserved Beating
FOR MEN WITH large penises
and no bank accounts.

To be specific
African Americans
pulled over by cops.
Haiku # 70246 March 10, 2021 6:37 am ET
by Snowflake Hippie Feminist Poet
New Reserved Seating
FOR MEN WITH small penises
and large bank accounts
Haiku # 70245 March 10, 2021 2:45 am ET
by And of Vice Versa
Food conveyor belt
Delectable selections
followed by rank farts

Glutinous rice balls
Dangle fromunda loin cloth
The heat of the meat
Haiku # 70244 March 10, 2021 1:39 am ET
by Pop Up Restaurant of In Your Pants
Have you ever had
a wasabi enema?
Then you haven't lived!
Haiku # 70243 March 10, 2021 12:37 am ET
by Dr. Snotbegone's Wasabi Nasal Spray. of As Seen on TV!
Oh that soft tuna.
Snuggled in rice and seaweed.
Dipped in wasabi.
Haiku # 70242 March 10, 2021 12:35 am ET
by I shoyu! of Complicated sushi is for ladyboys... But they say we're all a little gay.
Oh, great Sushi Train.
Your mouth becomes the tunnel.
Your ass the exit.

Can you see the light?
Well then you must be a poo.
Wasabi train tracks.
Haiku # 70241 March 9, 2021 10:52 pm ET
by Conveyor belted and strapped in. of Strapped in strap-on... because, you know... it's Japan.
Asian Jesus turns
teenage urine to sake
at the sushi bar.

Angers businessmen.
They'd rather have the urine.
To give them long life.

But they are happy
when he turns one sushi roll
into three hundred.
Haiku # 70240 March 9, 2021 10:46 pm ET
by Chojin, so Zen. So it is written. So it must be. of Urotsukodoji -- Legend of the Overfiend
Samurai sperm cells
have quite high motility
and glow in the dark.

Phosphorescent spooge
has the tang of whale blubber
and young prostitutes.
Haiku # 70239 March 9, 2021 10:39 pm ET
by Ninjas also, but not as much. of E = (6.626*10^-34 J*s)v (that's supposed to be a Greek "nu")
Fukushima jizz
Secret sake recipe
For Christ’s sake have some
Haiku # 70238 March 9, 2021 10:28 pm ET
by True Sake of Radiation
In Adam’s Garden
Turns out it wasn’t a snake
Just a garden hose
Haiku # 70236 March 9, 2021 12:43 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Wayback
In Adam’s garden
Winter gives way to spring, buds.
Snap, crackle, chirp
Haiku # 70235 March 8, 2021 11:39 pm ET
by Cliff Dancer of lives in a tent
Winter crab fishing
Will they make it home alive?
Ask the Bering Sea
Haiku # 70234 March 8, 2021 10:25 pm ET
by King Crab of Lurking
It's always schlong day.
I put it on your pancakes.
And took a picture.
Haiku # 70233 March 8, 2021 8:48 pm ET
by FigPucker in a Blanket. of LOL Although I gave up pork.
What do you call it
Deadhead gets a paper cut
Just a Phil Lesh wound
Haiku # 70232 March 8, 2021 2:03 pm ET
by Rain of Box
Nope, it's not schlong day
Not today or any day
Please put that away
Haiku # 70231 March 8, 2021 7:02 am ET
by Phil Lesh
Is today Schlong Day?
Worried about the hot stove
but I’ve got it out
Haiku # 70230 March 8, 2021 4:58 am ET
by Gordon Ramsay of Nude in kitchen
Vagina poems.
They're so good they suck you in,
birthing new ideas.
Haiku # 70228 March 7, 2021 4:56 pm ET
by DW
Haiku are so cute.
They look so much like dongs with
balls on either side.

O
======D
O
Haiku # 70227 March 7, 2021 4:55 pm ET
by Know what I mean.
Streaking through backyards
with the purloined lingerie
Say, let’s follow him
Haiku # 70224 March 7, 2021 2:12 pm ET
by Noticer of Details
Huge girdles and bras
strung out on the old clothesline
Here comes Figpucker!
Haiku # 70223 March 7, 2021 2:06 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of Neighborhood
Hey Darth Figpucker:
You never revile Islam.
Why don't you do that?
Haiku # 70221 March 7, 2021 7:09 am ET
by Imam Ibn Al Waq Al Baqra
My battering ram
Sometimes it gets in the food
Sometimes in your mouth
Haiku # 70220 March 7, 2021 5:25 am ET
by Gordon Fucking Ramsey of Kitchen
We need a Gordons'
Schlong Appeciation Day.
All Gordons go nude.
Haiku # 70219 March 7, 2021 2:15 am ET
by Am I right or what?! of Make it into a law.
Incarcerated.
Then after that it will be
incenerated.
Haiku # 70218 March 7, 2021 1:39 am ET
by A dolphin shitler.
Inmate, you are blessed.
You are free through haiku verse.
We are imprisoned.
Haiku # 70217 March 6, 2021 10:51 pm ET
by Unincarcerated
Incarcerated
But at least they let me write
haiku poetry
Haiku # 70216 March 6, 2021 9:18 pm ET
by Inmate of Correctional Facility
Should have had it bronzed
Hope they got diarrhea
You’re right about Gord
Haiku # 70215 March 6, 2021 8:33 pm ET
by All guys named Gord are hung like horses of Feed Bag
That Japanese "chef".
Had doctors chop off his junk.
Served it as a meal.

Two hundred dollars.
Would have bought you a sample.
Bet it tasted bad.

Hardly a meal.
One-sixth of a nipper's dork.
Give it to the cat.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2149879/Japanese-man-22-cooks-genitals-serves-paying-dinner-party-guests.html
Haiku # 70214 March 6, 2021 4:46 pm ET
by I'm thinking Gordon Ramsay of The balls alone would be a meal.
Eat rotten haiku!
Fuck the Buddha in his ass!
This is holy truth..
Haiku # 70213 March 6, 2021 1:39 pm ET
by Satori Inc.
Items you will need
Parmesan for cannibals
Cheese grater, fresh scalp
Haiku # 70212 March 6, 2021 11:40 am ET
by Page 22 of Williams-Sonomnoms
we are pakled, the
haiku wont go, can you make
the haiku go? teeth
Haiku # 70211 March 6, 2021 9:49 am ET
by moxie of teeth, are for chewing
Gown with a tent pole
The valedinktorian
made an impression
Haiku # 70210 March 6, 2021 5:52 am ET
by Class of 2021 of Shut ins
Came back for seconds
Darth Figpucker. The Fragrance.
What sexy smells like.
Haiku # 70209 March 6, 2021 3:20 am ET
by Notes of snobby coffee and expensive stolen cheese of Fine Department Stores
Those weren't vestiges.
Those were my Whorrible farts.
Wait... what's a "vestige".
Haiku # 70208 March 6, 2021 2:52 am ET
by We are pirates--we don't even know what that means! of Hondo Ohnaka
I enter the room.
I smell vestiges of Darth.
I leave quite quickly.
Haiku # 70207 March 5, 2021 10:43 pm ET
by Haiku is Dead of Flatline Ward
Hand job in a hearse
Pale hand reaches from coffin
with surprising reach
Haiku # 70206 March 5, 2021 10:30 pm ET
by Smiling of Front Seat
Inhale with gusto
World’s Oldest Living Person
farting in your face
Haiku # 70205 March 5, 2021 6:15 pm ET
by World’s Oldest Living Person of In Your Face
The ever-blasting
dreaming Lee's clever spending
Pure protein jizz float.
Haiku # 70204 March 5, 2021 5:49 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Did they battle with
the Jesus and Mary toast?
Live on Pay-Per-View?

I think for breakfast
I'll have a Bloody Mary
or maybe seven.
Haiku # 70203 March 5, 2021 5:42 pm ET
by In honor of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson
In the breakfast nook
Scrambled egg monster
and burnt toast demon
Haiku # 70202 March 5, 2021 1:20 pm ET
by Morning Nerd of Food Fight
The everlasting
Seemingly never ending
Pure methane jazz note
Haiku # 70201 March 4, 2021 10:18 pm ET
by Toot of vout
The everlasting
Seemingly never ending
Pure methane jazz note
Haiku # 70200 March 4, 2021 10:17 pm ET
by Toot of vout
The everlasting
Seemingly never ending
Pure methane jazz note
Haiku # 70199 March 4, 2021 10:17 pm ET
by Toot of vout
May all the atoms
of your disgusting body
be liberated.
Haiku # 70198 March 4, 2021 7:39 pm ET
by Jimmy Dean's Crematory Services of And Sausage Plant.
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