New Reserved Seating
FOR MEN WITH small penises
and large bank accounts
by And of Vice Versa
Food conveyor belt
Delectable selections
followed by rank farts
Glutinous rice balls
Dangle fromunda loin cloth
The heat of the meat
by Pop Up Restaurant of In Your Pants
Have you ever had
a wasabi enema?
Then you haven't lived!
by Dr. Snotbegone's Wasabi Nasal Spray. of As Seen on TV!
Oh that soft tuna.
Snuggled in rice and seaweed.
Dipped in wasabi.
by I shoyu! of Complicated sushi is for ladyboys... But they say we're all a little gay.
Oh, great Sushi Train.
Your mouth becomes the tunnel.
Your ass the exit.
Can you see the light?
Well then you must be a poo.
Wasabi train tracks.
by Conveyor belted and strapped in. of Strapped in strap-on... because, you know... it's Japan.
Asian Jesus turns
teenage urine to sake
at the sushi bar.
Angers businessmen.
They'd rather have the urine.
To give them long life.
But they are happy
when he turns one sushi roll
into three hundred.
by Chojin, so Zen. So it is written. So it must be. of Urotsukodoji -- Legend of the Overfiend
Samurai sperm cells
have quite high motility
and glow in the dark.
Phosphorescent spooge
has the tang of whale blubber
and young prostitutes.
by Ninjas also, but not as much. of E = (6.626*10^-34 J*s)v (that's supposed to be a Greek "nu")
Fukushima jizz
Secret sake recipe
For Christ’s sake have some
by True Sake of Radiation
In Adam’s Garden
Turns out it wasn’t a snake
Just a garden hose
by Noticer of Details of Wayback
In Adam’s garden
Winter gives way to spring, buds.
Snap, crackle, chirp
by Cliff Dancer of lives in a tent
Winter crab fishing
Will they make it home alive?
Ask the Bering Sea
by King Crab of Lurking
It's always schlong day.
I put it on your pancakes.
And took a picture.
by FigPucker in a Blanket. of LOL Although I gave up pork.
What do you call it
Deadhead gets a paper cut
Just a Phil Lesh wound
by Rain of Box
Nope, it's not schlong day
Not today or any day
Please put that away
by Phil Lesh
Is today Schlong Day?
Worried about the hot stove
but I’ve got it out
by Gordon Ramsay of Nude in kitchen
Vagina poems.
They're so good they suck you in,
birthing new ideas.
by DW
Haiku are so cute.
They look so much like dongs with
balls on either side.
O
======D
O
by Know what I mean.
Streaking through backyards
with the purloined lingerie
Say, let’s follow him
by Noticer of Details
Huge girdles and bras
strung out on the old clothesline
Here comes Figpucker!
by Noticer of Details of Neighborhood
Hey Darth Figpucker:
You never revile Islam.
Why don't you do that?
by Imam Ibn Al Waq Al Baqra
My battering ram
Sometimes it gets in the food
Sometimes in your mouth
by Gordon Fucking Ramsey of Kitchen
We need a Gordons'
Schlong Appeciation Day.
All Gordons go nude.
by Am I right or what?! of Make it into a law.
Incarcerated.
Then after that it will be
incenerated.
by A dolphin shitler.
Inmate, you are blessed.
You are free through haiku verse.
We are imprisoned.
by Unincarcerated
Incarcerated
But at least they let me write
haiku poetry
by Inmate of Correctional Facility
Should have had it bronzed
Hope they got diarrhea
You’re right about Gord
by All guys named Gord are hung like horses of Feed Bag
That Japanese "chef".
Had doctors chop off his junk.
Served it as a meal.
Two hundred dollars.
Would have bought you a sample.
Bet it tasted bad.
Hardly a meal.
One-sixth of a nipper's dork.
Give it to the cat.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2149879/Japanese-man-22-cooks-genitals-serves-paying-dinner-party-guests.html
by I'm thinking Gordon Ramsay of The balls alone would be a meal.
Eat rotten haiku!
Fuck the Buddha in his ass!
This is holy truth..
by Satori Inc.
Items you will need
Parmesan for cannibals
Cheese grater, fresh scalp
by Page 22 of Williams-Sonomnoms
we are pakled, the
haiku wont go, can you make
the haiku go? teeth
by moxie of teeth, are for chewing
Gown with a tent pole
The valedinktorian
made an impression
by Class of 2021 of Shut ins
Came back for seconds
Darth Figpucker. The Fragrance.
What sexy smells like.
by Notes of snobby coffee and expensive stolen cheese of Fine Department Stores
Those weren't vestiges.
Those were my Whorrible farts.
Wait... what's a "vestige".
by We are pirates--we don't even know what that means! of Hondo Ohnaka
I enter the room.
I smell vestiges of Darth.
I leave quite quickly.
by Haiku is Dead of Flatline Ward
Hand job in a hearse
Pale hand reaches from coffin
with surprising reach
by Smiling of Front Seat
Inhale with gusto
World’s Oldest Living Person
farting in your face
by World’s Oldest Living Person of In Your Face
The ever-blasting
dreaming Lee's clever spending
Pure protein jizz float.
by Anonymous Poet
Did they battle with
the Jesus and Mary toast?
Live on Pay-Per-View?
I think for breakfast
I'll have a Bloody Mary
or maybe seven.
by In honor of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson
In the breakfast nook
Scrambled egg monster
and burnt toast demon
by Morning Nerd of Food Fight
The everlasting
Seemingly never ending
Pure methane jazz note
by Toot of vout
The everlasting
Seemingly never ending
Pure methane jazz note
by Toot of vout
The everlasting
Seemingly never ending
Pure methane jazz note
by Toot of vout
May all the atoms
of your disgusting body
be liberated.
by Jimmy Dean's Crematory Services of And Sausage Plant.
Number one life rule:
Don't be a vagina-face.
That's for predator.
by The film, not the sex-crime.
Fart Philosophy
Put the Cart before the Funt
Cuntfart Cuntfart Cunt
by That "Guy" of Fart Philosophy 101
Once upon a time
this guy named Funt owned a cart.
What happened to him?
Did the dogs eat him
and all his rotten verses?
Would be no surprise.
by We need more filth! of There is not enough on Facebook.
Once upon a time
there was this one millipede
with a foot fetish
by P. Bunion of Undisclosed
Have you tried swimming?
Dolphins and whales do it.
Don't be a tortoise!
by There is always a way. of But it might kill you.
Cannot part, and the
Cable's indestructible:
Accepting of this
by skepticaloptimist of Sea level
Au gratin verses.
The dogs enjoy eating cheese.
Fromage fromunda.
by Kibbles and Bits. of Nibble my Bits. Nipples and Tits.
