Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 21 Days and 76798 Haiku later...

Fukushima jizz
Secret sake recipe
For Christ’s sake have some
Haiku # 70238, March 9, 2021 10:28 pm ET
by True Sake of Radiation
In Adam’s Garden
Turns out it wasn’t a snake
Just a garden hose
Haiku # 70236, March 9, 2021 12:43 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Wayback
In Adam’s garden
Winter gives way to spring, buds.
Snap, crackle, chirp
Haiku # 70235, March 8, 2021 11:39 pm ET
by Cliff Dancer of lives in a tent
Winter crab fishing
Will they make it home alive?
Ask the Bering Sea
Haiku # 70234, March 8, 2021 10:25 pm ET
by King Crab of Lurking
It's always schlong day.
I put it on your pancakes.
And took a picture.
Haiku # 70233, March 8, 2021 8:48 pm ET
by FigPucker in a Blanket. of LOL Although I gave up pork.
What do you call it
Deadhead gets a paper cut
Just a Phil Lesh wound
Haiku # 70232, March 8, 2021 2:03 pm ET
by Rain of Box
Nope, it's not schlong day
Not today or any day
Please put that away
Haiku # 70231, March 8, 2021 7:02 am ET
by Phil Lesh
Is today Schlong Day?
Worried about the hot stove
but I’ve got it out
Haiku # 70230, March 8, 2021 4:58 am ET
by Gordon Ramsay of Nude in kitchen
Vagina poems.
They're so good they suck you in,
birthing new ideas.
Haiku # 70228, March 7, 2021 4:56 pm ET
by DW
Haiku are so cute.
They look so much like dongs with
balls on either side.

Haiku # 70227, March 7, 2021 4:55 pm ET
by Know what I mean.
Streaking through backyards
with the purloined lingerie
Say, let’s follow him
Haiku # 70224, March 7, 2021 2:12 pm ET
by Noticer of Details
Huge girdles and bras
strung out on the old clothesline
Here comes Figpucker!
Haiku # 70223, March 7, 2021 2:06 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of Neighborhood
Hey Darth Figpucker:
You never revile Islam.
Why don't you do that?
Haiku # 70221, March 7, 2021 7:09 am ET
by Imam Ibn Al Waq Al Baqra
My battering ram
Sometimes it gets in the food
Sometimes in your mouth
Haiku # 70220, March 7, 2021 5:25 am ET
by Gordon Fucking Ramsey of Kitchen
We need a Gordons'
Schlong Appeciation Day.
All Gordons go nude.
Haiku # 70219, March 7, 2021 2:15 am ET
by Am I right or what?! of Make it into a law.
Then after that it will be
Haiku # 70218, March 7, 2021 1:39 am ET
by A dolphin shitler.
Inmate, you are blessed.
You are free through haiku verse.
We are imprisoned.
Haiku # 70217, March 6, 2021 10:51 pm ET
by Unincarcerated
But at least they let me write
haiku poetry
Haiku # 70216, March 6, 2021 9:18 pm ET
by Inmate of Correctional Facility
Should have had it bronzed
Hope they got diarrhea
You’re right about Gord
Haiku # 70215, March 6, 2021 8:33 pm ET
by All guys named Gord are hung like horses of Feed Bag
That Japanese "chef".
Had doctors chop off his junk.
Served it as a meal.

Two hundred dollars.
Would have bought you a sample.
Bet it tasted bad.

Hardly a meal.
One-sixth of a nipper's dork.
Give it to the cat.
Haiku # 70214, March 6, 2021 4:46 pm ET
by I'm thinking Gordon Ramsay of The balls alone would be a meal.
Eat rotten haiku!
Fuck the Buddha in his ass!
This is holy truth..
Haiku # 70213, March 6, 2021 1:39 pm ET
by Satori Inc.
Items you will need
Parmesan for cannibals
Cheese grater, fresh scalp
Haiku # 70212, March 6, 2021 11:40 am ET
by Page 22 of Williams-Sonomnoms
we are pakled, the
haiku wont go, can you make
the haiku go? teeth
Haiku # 70211, March 6, 2021 9:49 am ET
by moxie of teeth, are for chewing
Gown with a tent pole
The valedinktorian
made an impression
Haiku # 70210, March 6, 2021 5:52 am ET
by Class of 2021 of Shut ins
Came back for seconds
Darth Figpucker. The Fragrance.
What sexy smells like.
Haiku # 70209, March 6, 2021 3:20 am ET
by Notes of snobby coffee and expensive stolen cheese of Fine Department Stores
Those weren't vestiges.
Those were my Whorrible farts.
Wait... what's a "vestige".
Haiku # 70208, March 6, 2021 2:52 am ET
by We are pirates--we don't even know what that means! of Hondo Ohnaka
I enter the room.
I smell vestiges of Darth.
I leave quite quickly.
Haiku # 70207, March 5, 2021 10:43 pm ET
by Haiku is Dead of Flatline Ward
Hand job in a hearse
Pale hand reaches from coffin
with surprising reach
Haiku # 70206, March 5, 2021 10:30 pm ET
by Smiling of Front Seat
Inhale with gusto
World’s Oldest Living Person
farting in your face
Haiku # 70205, March 5, 2021 6:15 pm ET
by World’s Oldest Living Person of In Your Face
The ever-blasting
dreaming Lee's clever spending
Pure protein jizz float.
Haiku # 70204, March 5, 2021 5:49 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Did they battle with
the Jesus and Mary toast?
Live on Pay-Per-View?

I think for breakfast
I'll have a Bloody Mary
or maybe seven.
Haiku # 70203, March 5, 2021 5:42 pm ET
by In honor of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson
In the breakfast nook
Scrambled egg monster
and burnt toast demon
Haiku # 70202, March 5, 2021 1:20 pm ET
by Morning Nerd of Food Fight
The everlasting
Seemingly never ending
Pure methane jazz note
Haiku # 70201, March 4, 2021 10:18 pm ET
by Toot of vout
The everlasting
Seemingly never ending
Pure methane jazz note
Haiku # 70200, March 4, 2021 10:17 pm ET
by Toot of vout
The everlasting
Seemingly never ending
Pure methane jazz note
Haiku # 70199, March 4, 2021 10:17 pm ET
by Toot of vout
May all the atoms
of your disgusting body
be liberated.
Haiku # 70198, March 4, 2021 7:39 pm ET
by Jimmy Dean's Crematory Services of And Sausage Plant.
Number one life rule:
Don't be a vagina-face.
That's for predator.
Haiku # 70197, March 4, 2021 1:44 pm ET
by The film, not the sex-crime.
Fart Philosophy
Put the Cart before the Funt
Cuntfart Cuntfart Cunt
Haiku # 70196, March 4, 2021 10:47 am ET
by That "Guy" of Fart Philosophy 101
Once upon a time
this guy named Funt owned a cart.
What happened to him?

Did the dogs eat him
and all his rotten verses?
Would be no surprise.
Haiku # 70195, March 4, 2021 3:03 am ET
by We need more filth! of There is not enough on Facebook.
Once upon a time
there was this one millipede
with a foot fetish
Haiku # 70194, March 3, 2021 11:36 pm ET
by P. Bunion of Undisclosed
Have you tried swimming?
Dolphins and whales do it.
Don't be a tortoise!
Haiku # 70193, March 3, 2021 8:28 pm ET
by There is always a way. of But it might kill you.
Cannot part, and the
Cable's indestructible:
Accepting of this
Haiku # 70192, March 3, 2021 7:13 am ET
by skepticaloptimist of Sea level
Au gratin verses.
The dogs enjoy eating cheese.
Fromage fromunda.
Haiku # 70191, March 2, 2021 7:31 pm ET
by Kibbles and Bits. of Nibble my Bits. Nipples and Tits.
Otters eat raw fish.
So that makes them Japanese.
And they write haiku.
Haiku # 70190, March 2, 2021 7:26 pm ET
by Nippers with flippers. of Well, flipper-like tails.
In the mirror
I sit on your face
Humpty Dumpty.
Haiku # 70189, March 2, 2021 6:24 pm ET
by 13 years bad luck
On the mirror
I am see my face
Only empty
Haiku # 70188, March 2, 2021 3:01 pm ET
by Otteri Selva Kumar of The Open International Haiku University, Otteri , Chennai
Super Absorbent
Unscented Haiku Tampons
for your monthly flow
Haiku # 70186, March 2, 2021 4:23 am ET
by Lou Minol of Under Old Willow
Under umbrella
Rain water droping
Dew mood
Haiku # 70185, March 2, 2021 3:15 am ET
by Otteri Selva Kumar of The Open International Haiku University, Otteri , Chennai
Day-Glo Easter Eggs
Jesus in the Time Tunnel
with the X-Ray Eyes
Haiku # 70184, March 1, 2021 8:49 pm ET
by Donnie Darko of Mirror
Left me just say this
You have impeccable taste
and no after taste

Aftertaste’s Restaurant
Like licking yesterday’s beard
with your dry forked tongue
Haiku # 70183, March 1, 2021 8:42 pm ET
by Your Fart of Is the finest compliment
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