given how i take
some things way too personal
i might not miss you
by vhs
you know i forget
this place exists, you may
die
and i won't know it
by vhs
...you forgot to say
pretty please. and please i aint
that pretty, hunny...
by vhs
VHS eats shit
Always has and always will
I hate kissing you
by But I will because you pay me in French fry grease
did you hear about
the 'pastor' said jesus was a
racist? tik tok, time
judas always has a price
by vhs
social justice of
course is not social or just
it just says raaaaaaacisssssttttttt...
by vhs
Smells like Darth in here.
I need air freshener, quick.
Or else a gas-mask.
by Stench of Fig of Pucker
Make art with boogers.
A self portrait can take years.
Keep you occupied.
Beats molesting kids.
GPS ankle device.
Noticed that detail.
You don't need Tinder.
Sex offender registry.
Where pervs can hook up.
by It's a sick sick world. of Thank God for bullets.
Swiping left and right
No, I'm not on a dating site
Just picking boogers
by For a good time call... of Booger Wall
If you play the harp
to Black Sabbath's sheet music
Randy Rhoads will come.
by In his pants. of Or maybe in your pants and then blame you.
Sandy's a fag hag.
Sponge Bob pretends to be gay
so he can get some.
by Pooparazzi with Proof
By eating pussy
you'll destroy the universe
one squirell at a time.
by Sandy's Scuba Gear of Bikini Bottom
You just inspired
Enema Vending Machine
See me on Shart Tank
by Enema of The People
I once sucked a dick.
I also wrote a poem.
Which one is more gay?
by Asking for an enema.
I just did suck dick
The dick was not very big
Mine not bigger tho
by smolDicc
Did I touch a nerve?
Was it in your clitoris?
Cutting of the Rose!
by I should have been an Arab. of Seems like their culture is more sane than ours.
New Reserved Beating
FOR MEN WITH large penises
and no bank accounts.
To be specific
African Americans
pulled over by cops.
by Snowflake Hippie Feminist Poet
New Reserved Seating
FOR MEN WITH small penises
and large bank accounts
by And of Vice Versa
Food conveyor belt
Delectable selections
followed by rank farts
Glutinous rice balls
Dangle fromunda loin cloth
The heat of the meat
by Pop Up Restaurant of In Your Pants
Have you ever had
a wasabi enema?
Then you haven't lived!
by Dr. Snotbegone's Wasabi Nasal Spray. of As Seen on TV!
Oh that soft tuna.
Snuggled in rice and seaweed.
Dipped in wasabi.
by I shoyu! of Complicated sushi is for ladyboys... But they say we're all a little gay.
Oh, great Sushi Train.
Your mouth becomes the tunnel.
Your ass the exit.
Can you see the light?
Well then you must be a poo.
Wasabi train tracks.
by Conveyor belted and strapped in. of Strapped in strap-on... because, you know... it's Japan.
Asian Jesus turns
teenage urine to sake
at the sushi bar.
Angers businessmen.
They'd rather have the urine.
To give them long life.
But they are happy
when he turns one sushi roll
into three hundred.
by Chojin, so Zen. So it is written. So it must be. of Urotsukodoji -- Legend of the Overfiend
Samurai sperm cells
have quite high motility
and glow in the dark.
Phosphorescent spooge
has the tang of whale blubber
and young prostitutes.
by Ninjas also, but not as much. of E = (6.626*10^-34 J*s)v (that's supposed to be a Greek "nu")
Fukushima jizz
Secret sake recipe
For Christ’s sake have some
by True Sake of Radiation
In Adam’s Garden
Turns out it wasn’t a snake
Just a garden hose
by Noticer of Details of Wayback
In Adam’s garden
Winter gives way to spring, buds.
Snap, crackle, chirp
by Cliff Dancer of lives in a tent
Winter crab fishing
Will they make it home alive?
Ask the Bering Sea
by King Crab of Lurking
It's always schlong day.
I put it on your pancakes.
And took a picture.
by FigPucker in a Blanket. of LOL Although I gave up pork.
What do you call it
Deadhead gets a paper cut
Just a Phil Lesh wound
by Rain of Box
Nope, it's not schlong day
Not today or any day
Please put that away
by Phil Lesh
Is today Schlong Day?
Worried about the hot stove
but I’ve got it out
by Gordon Ramsay of Nude in kitchen
Vagina poems.
They're so good they suck you in,
birthing new ideas.
by DW
Haiku are so cute.
They look so much like dongs with
balls on either side.
O
======D
O
by Know what I mean.
Streaking through backyards
with the purloined lingerie
Say, let’s follow him
by Noticer of Details
Huge girdles and bras
strung out on the old clothesline
Here comes Figpucker!
by Noticer of Details of Neighborhood
Hey Darth Figpucker:
You never revile Islam.
Why don't you do that?
by Imam Ibn Al Waq Al Baqra
My battering ram
Sometimes it gets in the food
Sometimes in your mouth
by Gordon Fucking Ramsey of Kitchen
We need a Gordons'
Schlong Appeciation Day.
All Gordons go nude.
by Am I right or what?! of Make it into a law.
Incarcerated.
Then after that it will be
incenerated.
by A dolphin shitler.
Inmate, you are blessed.
You are free through haiku verse.
We are imprisoned.
by Unincarcerated
Incarcerated
But at least they let me write
haiku poetry
by Inmate of Correctional Facility
Should have had it bronzed
Hope they got diarrhea
You’re right about Gord
by All guys named Gord are hung like horses of Feed Bag
That Japanese "chef".
Had doctors chop off his junk.
Served it as a meal.
Two hundred dollars.
Would have bought you a sample.
Bet it tasted bad.
Hardly a meal.
One-sixth of a nipper's dork.
Give it to the cat.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2149879/Japanese-man-22-cooks-genitals-serves-paying-dinner-party-guests.html
by I'm thinking Gordon Ramsay of The balls alone would be a meal.
Eat rotten haiku!
Fuck the Buddha in his ass!
This is holy truth..
by Satori Inc.
Items you will need
Parmesan for cannibals
Cheese grater, fresh scalp
by Page 22 of Williams-Sonomnoms
we are pakled, the
haiku wont go, can you make
the haiku go? teeth
by moxie of teeth, are for chewing
Gown with a tent pole
The valedinktorian
made an impression
by Class of 2021 of Shut ins
Came back for seconds
Darth Figpucker. The Fragrance.
What sexy smells like.
by Notes of snobby coffee and expensive stolen cheese of Fine Department Stores
Those weren't vestiges.
Those were my Whorrible farts.
Wait... what's a "vestige".
by We are pirates--we don't even know what that means! of Hondo Ohnaka
