BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years
14 Days
68930 Haikus
Trump plays the right-wing.
He's a greedy con-artist.
Just like the old ex.

The only thing that triggers me about him is that fucking hair and skin tone. He's like a million Avon products sold to 3rd world countries with mismatched skin tone and curtains that don't match the carpets. I be his asshole is as orange as a Cheeto. He's not human. Set up by aliens as the puppet leader. "Fills me with the urge to defecate!" comes to mind. He can suck my distended rectum like a Mexican show girl sucking off a donkey.
Haiku #68262, by
October 8, 2020 5:34 pm ET

Seriously, Trump?
He is not even right wing.
But he triggers you.
Haiku #68261, by He must have Super-Powers
October 8, 2020 9:20 am ET

It appears that he knows he is going to lose and therefore can now do anything that he wants to do; run around without a mask, behave like a child, grab pussy, and ridicule the mentally disabled.
There is no stopping him. The right wing pistol-slinging gun nuts will take over and set him up as the new emperor puppet king of the the Grand Empire or North America (made in China).
This will not be a peaceful November/December.
I, for one, will go shopping. Hoping to buy some sharp cheddar, without all that fake orange color. French wine and brie. Perhaps a hardy swiss.
Call me crazy, but I want to try making pizzza with some more exotic cheeses. Mozzarella is so dull. Know what I mean?
Haiku #68260, by Lox on wheat bagels. of Because!
October 8, 2020 8:44 am ET

Frat brothers have died
ingesting wine anally.
It should have been Trump.

Would you care for a
Cheetos Franzia smoothie?
Cheese and wine Frappe!

Maybe not healthy
but it'll sure clean you out.
Cheesey sacrament.

Day glow enema.
Boofing a nuclear rod
for North Korea.
Haiku #68259, by
October 8, 2020 8:31 am ET

taking the blue pills
will help you to keep it up
until we're all fucked
Haiku #68258, by ash
October 8, 2020 8:03 am ET

america's ill douche
benito trumpolini
be afraid of it
Haiku #68257, by ash
October 8, 2020 7:52 am ET

fake news is rampant
used to be trumped up charges
now it's charged up trumps
Haiku #68256, by ash
October 8, 2020 7:38 am ET

Haiku #68255, by Brad
October 7, 2020 8:27 pm ET

Jesus loves pizza.
Especially with thick crust.
"This is my body."

For he has risen!
Mediteranean style.
Parm, olives, garlic.

Perhaps artichokes.
Chicken w/ some extra parm.
Lots of hot pepper.

A glass of red wine.
This is my blood; opened my heart.
Drunken salvation.
Haiku #68254, by Don't forget to tip the waiter!
October 7, 2020 8:11 pm ET

the first dorito
no longer pasty and pale
he's baked on steroids

and and and... it's so
a side effect of the drugs

say what again ?
Haiku #68253, by ash
October 7, 2020 7:23 pm ET

the first dorito
no longer pasty and and pale
he's baked on steroids
Haiku #68252, by ash
October 7, 2020 7:04 pm ET

throw paper airplanes
from the very top bleachers
at a trump rally

laced with ebola
covid is so yesterday
get with the times, dude!

Airborne HIV
would be totally awesome.
Who will invent it?
Haiku #68251, by cross HIV w/ influenza and/or covid of Come on, Bill Gates, you can do it!
October 7, 2020 10:12 am ET

Clouds in the sky
Roaring out loud make me sad
Ah, I want to play.
Haiku #68250, by UM-2020 of Earth
October 7, 2020 6:29 am ET

Trump's neck vagina
Haiku #68249, by Anonymous Poet
October 7, 2020 4:46 am ET

The 2020 election should be handled by the way of a tickling contest. The first one to lose conciousness must step down. The other one must be castrated, blinded, and eardrums removed and a digital simulation of the winner will rule the people... I think at least one movie did that already. Well, maybe not the tickling bit. Okay, I'm out... time to go tickle some bits.
Haiku #68248, by Max Headroom for President! of Giving away my age.
October 6, 2020 11:53 pm ET

Can you imagine
being tickled until dead?
Is that possible?
Haiku #68247, by Beware of strange men buying duct tape and feathers in the express checkout lane of Walmart
October 6, 2020 11:47 pm ET

I've hired a Native American for those of you who prefer bald eagle feathers.
Haiku #68246, by dw
October 6, 2020 7:58 pm ET

God didn't make the virus, the Chinese made the virus. So you know it won't last too long. The Chinese made the virus b/c Bill Gates commissioned a bioweapon that would destroy half the world's population in under a year. Never do business w/ the Chinese. The greed of communism. Power hungry dictators controlling Russia who controls Trump. Bill Gates is under control of the Swiss Banking Mafia and the downloaded consciousness of Timothy Leary....
Where's my coffee?
Haiku #68245, by dw of Got some new ostrich and peacock feathers in.
October 6, 2020 7:43 pm ET

*you'll be glad there's no safe word, trust me!
Haiku #68244, by Anonymous Poet
October 6, 2020 6:53 pm ET

My new profession:
Testicular tickler.
No safe words, Elmo.
Haiku #68243, by President Donald Trump. of I know Darth Whorrendous. He's a good personal friend of mine. Uses only the best feathers. You'll be glad there's no safe wor
October 6, 2020 6:47 pm ET

God made this virus
And it has hurt tRump badly
There's a message there
Haiku #68242, by Jesus is lard
October 6, 2020 2:34 pm ET

Trump is in your brain
Like memories of girlfriends
And he haunts your dreams
Haiku #68241, by Orange Man, the Statesman of Statesmen, Loves You, Ash
October 6, 2020 11:27 am ET

Call me old fashioned,
We all need Mr. Rogers
on public TV.

Hello boys and girls.
I'd like to discuss manners.
Can you say "manners".
Haiku #68240, by Darth Whorrendous. of I'd like to cut you down with my light saber if you don't mind. Sorry, it might hurt a little, but not for long.
October 6, 2020 6:06 am ET

the super spreader
reflects his inner twat
who loves me, baby ?

orange narcissus
go pool your awesome talents
you'll be a legend
Haiku #68239, by ash
October 5, 2020 8:56 pm ET

fifth of a million
normal fearful humans die
not chief cockwomble
Haiku #68238, by ash
October 5, 2020 8:38 pm ET

The land of the free.
Pot, fire arms, and nerve gas.
They're all at Walmart.

I can't even find one fucking hit of acid. Should have moved to Amersterdam or maybe San Francisco. Or moved to South America to take yopo up the old Jewish schnoz. Craving new universes to explore and recite bad poetry to.
Haiku #68237, by Darth Whorendous of Vogon fleet poetry reading
October 5, 2020 8:16 pm ET

After the covid,
Trump's porno tape will be leaked.
You can watch him leak.

Five Russian hookers
Three tattooed Thai lady-boys
Twelve jars of mayo.
Haiku #68236, by I think it was Helman's. of Hold the pickle relish, thanks.
October 5, 2020 7:55 pm ET

The Abyss of Filth:
from Whence It Ascends
Haiku #68235, by Home Sweet Home of Darth
October 5, 2020 7:13 pm ET

gatorade replaced
beer and wine, my old age I
will drink mountain dew
Haiku #68234, by vhs
October 5, 2020 2:47 pm ET

Trump will recover,
inspire the nation, and then
win in November.
Haiku #68233, by Just to shut up the Nasty-ass Left
October 5, 2020 12:33 pm ET

Mom asked me if I
sent Grandma a birthday card.
She's been dead for years.

I told her of course.
A card and flowers as well.
And a large dildo.

Still no heart attack.
You can't say I didn't try.
Maybe I'll dose her.

Fifteen hundred "mics".
Possible it might cure her.
Fucking dementia.
Haiku #68232, by What doesn't kill you, makes you smell stronger.
October 5, 2020 8:51 am ET

I cannot decide
what topic to write about.
When's the train coming?
Haiku #68231, by Old-Timer's Disease of When it hits, it hits hard.
October 5, 2020 8:43 am ET

the brand of the knave
is what i should have written
there's no accounting
Haiku #68230, by ash
October 5, 2020 8:10 am ET

the president's taint
makes the whole nation smell foul
brand of the knave
Haiku #68229, by ash
October 5, 2020 8:08 am ET

You get more power
from inhaling his flatus.
Russian whores know this.
Haiku #68228, by Vladamir Puttin' on the strap-on. of Comin' for you, Capitalist Pig-Dog!
October 5, 2020 7:01 am ET

roll out the limo
inhale the president's germs
and feel his power
Haiku #68227, by ash
October 5, 2020 4:39 am ET

While online shopping,
I put a funt in my cart.
But what is a funt?
Haiku #68226, by dw of
October 4, 2020 11:17 pm ET

I bet someone puts edibles in Halloween treats this year so there will be a legalization backlash and the police will crack down on marijuana dispensaries.

Whatchu wanna bet?

Maybe even heavy doses of LSD. The right wing will use this as an excuse to take over. In fact they are probably the ones who will do it.

Trump will form a new Empire of the United States!

Then aliens will land and kill us all.
Haiku #68225, by ashvvhsa of Entertainus entered anus.
October 4, 2020 8:18 pm ET

Speaking of poopies.
Imagine huge Tootsie Rolls
with candy corn bits.

The two worst candies.
Straight to Molotov cocktails.
Screw the rotten eggs.

If we must riot
lets have a good reason to.
Stingy old people.
Haiku #68224, by Better invest in Reese's and Snickers this year.
October 4, 2020 7:10 am ET

Dorris Day made poop.
I'd eat a mile of it
to get to the source.
Haiku #68223, by No, not really. Not into poopies. of Can you believe it?!
October 4, 2020 7:02 am ET

Sitting in IHOP.
Make rude jokes about sausage.
Sausage lies honey.

The police show up.
Shouldn't do that around kids.
They look at least twelve!
Haiku #68222, by Jail food really is pretty bad.
October 4, 2020 6:37 am ET

the president says
masks are a personal choice
unless hypoxic
Haiku #68221, by ash
October 4, 2020 3:59 am ET

Bob Barker made poops
That's easy to imagine
Smeared on his smug face
Haiku #68220, by Drew Carey of My balls is hairy
October 3, 2020 10:59 pm ET

Doris Day made poops
Kind of tough to imagine
But you can get there
Haiku #68219, by And it is so worth it
October 3, 2020 10:38 pm ET

Will there be world war?
It could very well happen.
We have run our course.

Just like a virus.
Earth will never be the same.
The T-cells reboot.

And I need to poo.
Doesn't matter that you know.
Because nothing does.

I just know this much.
We are God's entertainment.
Our sit-com's cancelled.
Haiku #68218, by And it's about time. of Wipe wipe flush.
October 3, 2020 7:07 pm ET

Corona's a beer.
Fun, presents, then even tents.
BWAAACK goes the belchers.
Haiku #68217, by Ass
October 3, 2020 4:00 pm ET

covid is a hoax
unpresidented events
back to the bleachers
Haiku #68216, by ash
October 3, 2020 8:26 am ET

Social media
is neither one of those things.
Because I said so.
Haiku #68215, by Don't argue with a Sith Lord! Heed the wise words of Darth Whorendous and his collection of exotic and sentient STDs.
October 2, 2020 10:12 pm ET

quadratic quadruped queens
queerly queef quicksand.
Haiku #68214, by And it's good to get all that sand out of that delicate area or it could get infected.
October 2, 2020 10:08 pm ET

well i just called some
agent i didn't know a bad
name, twitters dead
Haiku #68213, by vhs
October 2, 2020 3:58 pm ET