roll out the limo
inhale the president's germs
and feel his power

While online shopping,
I put a funt in my cart.
But what is a funt?

I bet someone puts edibles in Halloween treats this year so there will be a legalization backlash and the police will crack down on marijuana dispensaries.

Whatchu wanna bet?

Maybe even heavy doses of LSD. The right wing will use this as an excuse to take over. In fact they are probably the ones who will do it.

Trump will form a new Empire of the United States!

Then aliens will land and kill us all.

Speaking of poopies.
Imagine huge Tootsie Rolls
with candy corn bits.

The two worst candies.
Straight to Molotov cocktails.
Screw the rotten eggs.

If we must riot
lets have a good reason to.
Stingy old people.

Dorris Day made poop.
I'd eat a mile of it
to get to the source.

Sitting in IHOP.
Make rude jokes about sausage.
Sausage lies honey.

The police show up.
Shouldn't do that around kids.
They look at least twelve!

the president says
masks are a personal choice
unless hypoxic

Bob Barker made poops
That's easy to imagine
Smeared on his smug face

Doris Day made poops
Kind of tough to imagine
But you can get there

Will there be world war?
It could very well happen.
We have run our course.

Just like a virus.
Earth will never be the same.
The T-cells reboot.

And I need to poo.
Doesn't matter that you know.
Because nothing does.

I just know this much.
We are God's entertainment.
Our sit-com's cancelled.

Corona's a beer.
Fun, presents, then even tents.
BWAAACK goes the belchers.

covid is a hoax
unpresidented events
back to the bleachers

Social media
is neither one of those things.
Because I said so.

Quadralateral
quadratic quadruped queens
queerly queef quicksand.

well i just called some
agent i didn't know a bad
name, twitters dead

Jollibee's pure shit.
If you don't understand that,
you haven't been there.

Yes, I'm a rude dude.
But I likes me some good food.
Without it I brood.

It's raining Cheetos.
It should be raining French wine.
Or perhaps live frogs.

But we get Cheetos.
Don't read the ingredients.
They are not wholesome.

If you eat Cheetos
before using the restroom
your junk will turn orange.

my smiley face turned into a â

Bananas Foster?
On this one I side with Darth...
on hella dessert â

Trump has Covid now...
Lets see what God does for him
to shut you all up.

covid is voting
and it's chosen the donald
a storm is brewing

Just skip the meal.
Bring the Bananas Foster.
Hold the bananas.

And hold the ice cream.
And serve it in a shot glass.
Yes, that would be rum.

Lobster Thermador.
Asparagus with Stilton.
And Beaujolais wine.

Biscuits and gravy.
Scramble eggs with chives and ham.
And a hot mocha.

Qunt.

Quantum quetzal quills
Quixotic qabalas quizzed.
Quadruplicating?

Q infiltration:
present at all levels now.
the Storm (in haiku)

I also miss me.
I wish that I would come back.
But I can't love me.

I miss you.

*go

Here I got again.
Pathetic situation.
Talking to myself.

I never tell lies.
Seriously, I mean it!
Would I lie to you?

Cocaine, hand grenades,
and teenage Thai prostitutes.
*Sigh* The good old days.

Watching mantis shimp
destroy invasive crayfish
on YouTube; my life.

I am so lonely.
Please tell me how wrong I am.
That I need to change.

My inner demon
keeps reminding me of that
but I ignore him.

It's never too late
to heed that rascal's wise words
sharing a crack pipe.

You can't smoke crack here.
Our President will kill you.
You can't debate that!

Don't forget the Pandemic Special of South Park airs tonight. I can hardly wait!

The presidential debates would be better handled as a booger picking contest based on size, color, texture, and how many nostril hairs are in there.
Best three out of five wins. Loser buys the other one a beer.

Come on out, you vigalante poets!
"You complete me," The Joker says to Batman.
"What would I do without you?!"

We get the debate
That we deserve: two old clowns
Out-shout each other.

Where is ev'ryone?
Have you all died of covid?
Life will be empty.

I'm disappointed.
You should display your vomit.
That is my applause.

Captain Queefs-a-Lot
vs. Flatus Maximus!
Live on Pay-Per-View!

He who masturbates
to Yanky Doodle Dandy
eats feather pasta.

I plucked my right nut.
Thought it's a dingleberry.
Oh well, got one more.

You ever think that
Donald Trump's just a muppet?
Just look at his hair!

Jim Henson's not dead.
He's playing us all for fools!
Now we're the puppets.

If corona kills about 1 in 1000 people, or even 1 in 500... or 1 in 100.... or 1 in 50. Is that such a bad thing?!?!

Consider the graph...
... I can't attach my butt-pic?
What a lame website!

Come on, fix this site!
You know you want to see it.
I will show it all!

Ev'ry dangly bit!
Testes and dingleberries.
They look 'bout the same.

Calculate y-prime
at the point of origin.
Concave up or down?

I want a poem
that conjures up Satan
five thousand feet tall

pooping fire balls
belching sulfuric acid
and does my bidding

Walk outside naked.
Smeared with your rancid feces.
Then you'll find freedom.

Well, maybe not in the US, but in other poor countries, they won't touch the crazy people... bad luck and curses and diseases. Being crazy and poor is pure freedom. I've seen it! No corona lock down for those lucky fools.