Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 315 Days and 72151 Haikus later...

I got you, babe
Take two Sonny Bonos and
call me in a.m.
Haiku # 68162, September 26, 2020 10:24 pm ET
by human calculator of Head of the Class
Sam, whose mass is 74 kg , takes off across level snow on his jet-powered skis. The skis have a thrust of 230 N and a coefficient of kinetic friction on snow of 0.1. Unfortunately, the skis run out of fuel after only 11 s and Sam jizzes in his pants with a speed of 1.2 m/s when he sees snow bunny Brenda and she notices the wet spot spreading around his crotch. How much will Sam's hospital bill be from his broken leg when he hits that boulder ahead?
Haiku # 68161, September 26, 2020 8:18 pm ET
by Asking for a friend.
You must excuse me.
I have some work to get done.
Chasing that dollar.
Haiku # 68160, September 26, 2020 6:32 pm ET
by The root of all evil.
why would GOD judge you?
does it say in the fine print
That HE gives a HOOT?
Haiku # 68159, September 26, 2020 2:24 pm ET
by Law Offices of Cunfart Cuntfart and Cunt
If her FaceBook says
quote, Only God Can Judge Me,
end quote, she's a slut.
Haiku # 68158, September 26, 2020 1:51 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
They are just whores
doing what their sugar daddy
tells them to do.
Haiku # 68157, September 26, 2020 1:48 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Philippine islands:
The Filipino eye lands
on Filipinas

https://youtu.be/ps-axyeKeZQ
Haiku # 68156, September 26, 2020 11:41 am ET
by Filipinas United Against Drumpf of Fightin' Filipinas
Please, someone, clean up
the Haiku smeared on this page.
Quick . . . before it dries.
Haiku # 68155, September 26, 2020 9:47 am ET
by Verses on the Walls of Hell
My only Captain
Cap'n Crunch for High
Fructose Goon Syrup
Haiku # 68154, September 26, 2020 8:38 am ET
by Supercalifragilisticketoacidosis of Wilfred Brimley's grave
You forgot something.
It needs a splash of vodka.
Or Captain Morgan's.
Haiku # 68153, September 26, 2020 8:28 am ET
by It's always better with the Captain.
Pissing in the mist
Dink lemonade with a twist
A flick of the wrist
Haiku # 68152, September 26, 2020 8:04 am ET
by Cocktail Server of Piscataway
My incubation.
Pre-natal gender repeal.
Pee.. and have a drink.

Call me pessimist.
I'm sensing a civil war.
See the clone troopers.

That's why I'm not there.
"Execute order six-six."
Even Sith will die.
Haiku # 68151, September 26, 2020 7:27 am ET
by Corona is a smoke screen. of Nothing more, nothing less.
By Invitation
Post natal gender reveal
See.. He has a dink
Haiku # 68150, September 26, 2020 3:31 am ET
by Some Kardashian of TV Guide
When the eagle shits
Think of the good times we'll have
Let's drink to that!
Haiku # 68149, September 26, 2020 3:20 am ET
by Optimist of Drunk Tank
Parents high on crack
That waterskiing baby
Watch this, Balloon Boy!
Haiku # 68148, September 26, 2020 3:16 am ET
by Drunk of Barstool
Cephalopod gene splicing.
Cthulu is risen!
Runs for president.
Wins and gets the US
back on track.
Fireside chats with shrimp
gumbo recipes just like
Bubba in Forrest Gump.
Haiku # 68147, September 26, 2020 3:15 am ET
by Praise the True Dark Lord and his culinary delights.
"An asteroid the size of a school bus."
Several alien tots on board.
It was a short asteroid.
Haiku # 68146, September 26, 2020 3:07 am ET
by Poom went the planet. Sort of like a cross between a poop and a boom. Pirate talk I guess.
When Darth is on fire
Life is almost worth living
C'mon say octopus...
Haiku # 68145, September 26, 2020 3:04 am ET
by Darth Lover of Just a syllable away
Extinction ex stink shunned.
And thank God for that!
Stench could corrode a steel wrecking ball. And she likely has a few of those there. Know what I mean, Vern?
Haiku # 68144, September 26, 2020 2:31 am ET
by Your favorite dork lard.
10,000 thermonuclear explosions simultaneously induce elation and The Rapture.
Haiku # 68143, September 26, 2020 2:26 am ET
by The velociraptor was raptured and became a rap star. of Lil' Claw in da house!
Feces is Feces
Flatulence is flatulence
Haiku is haiku
Haiku # 68142, September 26, 2020 12:23 am ET
by esta todo el dia of rascandose los huevos
The new improved Darth
Dr. Seuss meets Bukowski
Green Eggs and Schlong!
Haiku # 68141, September 26, 2020 12:08 am ET
by Amigovia of Mulberry Street
That's juicy sushi
You even mentioned gar fish
You know I love you
Haiku # 68140, September 25, 2020 11:56 pm ET
by Purrmaid of Underwater
Halloween costumes!
What will you go as this year?
Donald Trump's toupee?
Haiku # 68139, September 25, 2020 11:29 pm ET
by Touche! of Douche!
Tastes like seafood?
Isn't that rude?
You shouldn't brood.
Dip it in lemon butter.
Maybe with a little garlic.
Gar-lick. Licking a gar fish.
Ghetto sushi Suzi.

Please get me a beer.
Something dark and full-bodied.
And a little head.
Haiku # 68138, September 25, 2020 11:23 pm ET
by Maybe we need to get back to discussing poo. of Hey, it beats politics!!!
So let's talk aobut the clitoris then.
How big is your clitoris?
Is that your favorite stimulation spot?
Gee, I'm just asking, don't get all pissy.

Clitty clit clit, lickity split.
Two for the price of one.
Double slit experiment.
The wave of the motion.
Just like the ocean.
Tastes like seafood!
Haiku # 68137, September 25, 2020 11:16 pm ET
by Happy now? Hapiness? Happy penis?
I think you are right.
My life will be much better
when you are deceased.

Is that a mushroom
on your grave or maybe you're
happy to see me.
Haiku # 68136, September 25, 2020 11:11 pm ET
by A fun guy with rigor mortis where it counts.
Penis penis schlong.
They're skinny fat short or long.
They look like a bong.

Penis penis schlong.
I'll use mine to bang a gong.
And then bang your mom.
Haiku # 68135, September 25, 2020 11:07 pm ET
by :-)
Sometimes you wonder
If the best time in your life
is when you are dead
Haiku # 68134, September 25, 2020 10:50 pm ET
by GOD of NOT TELLING
Darth: please just STOP it.
Stop mentioning penises.
Damn. It gets old fast.
Haiku # 68133, September 25, 2020 7:57 pm ET
by Obsessions of Figpucker
Any side that has chicken and watermellon AND has big schlongs has GOT to be the right side!
Haiku # 68132, September 25, 2020 7:01 pm ET
by Awesome stereotypical stereotypes. of They stole my stereo, so I'll steal their stereotypes.
The United States
Built upon Christ, with help from
The Enlightenment.
Haiku # 68131, September 25, 2020 1:40 pm ET
by Sorry Marxist, Enemy of What is Good and Right
All transnationals,
All corporate media
Back you. We don't care.
Haiku # 68130, September 25, 2020 12:52 pm ET
by You on Wrong Side of The Culture War
I'll joing BLM
if there's crispy fried chicken
and watermelon.

And I'd also like
a free penis enlargement.
Just don't arrest me.
Haiku # 68129, September 25, 2020 12:25 pm ET
by White Flower!
White America
Stolen from the Indians
Built by Africans
Haiku # 68128, September 25, 2020 11:16 am ET
by Truth
Blakk Revolushun:
Your incoherent violence
Is useless, bitches.
Haiku # 68127, September 25, 2020 5:08 am ET
by Mjinga Mjangu of Screaming at da PO-leese
Better to have loved and lost...
No, that's bullshit. Join the military and kill people. You'll be glad you did.
Haiku # 68126, September 24, 2020 11:24 pm ET
by dw
Don't have anything
except the haiku you write
At least I have that
Haiku # 68125, September 24, 2020 11:13 pm ET
by Loser of Lost
The food is much worse
than their atrocious spelling;
cell phones make it worse.

Filipino Philippino Filipina Philippina
Piliffffines Pill-fiends.

Married a whore and moved here to die.
Cheating slut. They all are.
Haiku # 68124, September 24, 2020 8:19 pm ET
by darth where-did-i-put-my-depends-undergarments
Can't even spell it.
What a ridiculous word:
PHILIPPINES. How dumb.
Haiku # 68123, September 24, 2020 7:27 pm ET
by Pilipino of Pilipina
So why does Darth live
Over in the Phillipines?
Could it be THAT? Hmmmmmm...
Haiku # 68122, September 24, 2020 7:16 pm ET
by Exiled of Ex-isled
The Law of Multiple Proportions says that some boobs are big and others are small, some are firm and some droop, and that's just the way it is. They come in all shapes and sizes.
Haiku # 68121, September 24, 2020 7:10 pm ET
by A++
But I didn't sing.
The birds are responsible.
I'll let them have that.
Haiku # 68120, September 24, 2020 12:08 pm ET
by Tweet tweet tweet -- just like the orange monkey.
Sorry, that was me.
Don't want birds taking credit.
My new drone drops poop.
Haiku # 68119, September 24, 2020 12:01 pm ET
by dw of look out below!
The streets are empty
But the birds go on singing
Shitting on statues
Haiku # 68118, September 24, 2020 6:03 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Undisclosed View
Bump clump chump dump flump grump Gump hump jump lump pump plump rump slump stump sump Trump thump.
Haiku # 68117, September 24, 2020 5:16 am ET
by Get to work!
The rump clump went thump.
Would you hump Trump on a stump?
Orange grump takes a dump.
Haiku # 68116, September 24, 2020 5:10 am ET
by dw
Do not get a mop!
Just do the funky sock hop.
Like on Happy Days.
Haiku # 68115, September 24, 2020 5:07 am ET
by Heeeeeey!
In the voting booth
Figpucker votes his conscience
Someone get a mop!
Haiku # 68114, September 24, 2020 3:48 am ET
by This sticky stuff of Kills the Covid
Ocean confetti
That sea horse ejaculate
In the mood for love?
Haiku # 68113, September 24, 2020 3:45 am ET
by Ocean Pearl of Going Down
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