I'll joing BLM
if there's crispy fried chicken
and watermelon.
And I'd also like
a free penis enlargement.
Just don't arrest me.
by White Flower!
White America
Stolen from the Indians
Built by Africans
by Truth
Blakk Revolushun:
Your incoherent violence
Is useless, bitches.
by Mjinga Mjangu of Screaming at da PO-leese
Better to have loved and lost...
No, that's bullshit. Join the military and kill people. You'll be glad you did.
by dw
Don't have anything
except the haiku you write
At least I have that
by Loser of Lost
The food is much worse
than their atrocious spelling;
cell phones make it worse.
Filipino Philippino Filipina Philippina
Piliffffines Pill-fiends.
Married a whore and moved here to die.
Cheating slut. They all are.
by darth where-did-i-put-my-depends-undergarments
Can't even spell it.
What a ridiculous word:
PHILIPPINES. How dumb.
by Pilipino of Pilipina
So why does Darth live
Over in the Phillipines?
Could it be THAT? Hmmmmmm...
by Exiled of Ex-isled
The Law of Multiple Proportions says that some boobs are big and others are small, some are firm and some droop, and that's just the way it is. They come in all shapes and sizes.
by A++
But I didn't sing.
The birds are responsible.
I'll let them have that.
by Tweet tweet tweet -- just like the orange monkey.
Sorry, that was me.
Don't want birds taking credit.
My new drone drops poop.
by dw of look out below!
The streets are empty
But the birds go on singing
Shitting on statues
by Noticer of Details of Undisclosed View
Bump clump chump dump flump grump Gump hump jump lump pump plump rump slump stump sump Trump thump.
by Get to work!
The rump clump went thump.
Would you hump Trump on a stump?
Orange grump takes a dump.
by dw
Do not get a mop!
Just do the funky sock hop.
Like on Happy Days.
by Heeeeeey!
In the voting booth
Figpucker votes his conscience
Someone get a mop!
by This sticky stuff of Kills the Covid
Ocean confetti
That sea horse ejaculate
In the mood for love?
by Ocean Pearl of Going Down
If voting's private,
how did they know what I did
in the voting booth?
by dw
Voting is pointless.
The decisions have been made
before elections.
by dw
in america
vote early and vote often
don't be a loser
by ash
I think I love you.
Let's hook-up and get married.
I'll have your babies.
by Darth Whorendous of I promise I'll stop whoring.
Let's talk politics.
It can't get much worse than that.
Vomit inducing.
by Just kidding; let's not.
Jesus! I told you
I am NOT a figpucker.
I gave all that up.
I've gone cold turkey.
... hold on! Forget I said that.
Now take a deep breath.
5, 4, 3, 2, 1...
CUNTFART CUNTFART CUNTFART CUNT!
There, now I'm better.
by Darth Whorendous, a.k.a., The Fartist Formerly Known As Darth Figpucker, The Highly Inappropriate and Maker of Uncalled-For Comments At the Dinner Table
Dear lady has a
vagina like a Big Mac
I'm in the Drive thru
by Fast Food Fucker of McDonald's
I want my freedom
No responsibility
And a lotta guns
by Jesus is lard
Hey: Darth's life matters!
Let's take it to tha streetz NOW.
Darth needs justice, y'all.
by Figpucker Defense League of Gehenna
Neighborhood murder
predicted in tarot cards
The Bathrobe Killer
by Not Safe of Anywhere
Hello citizens.
Please refrain from compliance
With all state commands.
by New Normal of Lifestyles
That would be enough:
Restoration of all things.
I would be content.
by Exceeding of Abundantly
Protective cover
Does it go on your penis?
Or on the keyboard?
by Neat Freak
just letting you know
I put it all together
and came up with this
by Ask me if I care of Go ahead, ask me
I've been watching female weightlifters on Youtube.
Now my keyboard's all sticky.
I really need one of those protective covers.
by Not exactly a clean jerk.
Overnight dirt mounds
Voles humping under the tiles
Fuck this landscaping
by Loser
Mexico City
In the underground labyrinth
Rata Gigante!
by Gatita Estrella of Callejon
Japanese taco
made with fresh octopus meat;
a tako taco!
by Hentai Tex-Mex Cafe. of The outskirts of Dallas.
Did you have to break
up with me when my mouth was
full of your hot cum?
by asking for a friend of behind the stadium
His schlong smelled like ham
And he wore pants made of bread
Let's do lunch some time
by Miss Piggy of Hog Heaven
His schlong smelled like ham
And he wore pants made of bread
Let's do lunch some time
by Miss Piggy of Hog Heaven
That crisp autumn air
Once again I'm on my knees
Blowing the mailman
by Punkin' Spice of driveway
Nineteen sixty-eight.
That was a year for revolt.
Really helped the Left . . .
by Judgement of Paris
You keep talking that
Japanese octopus talk
I'll do anything
by Star K. of Undisclosed
I don't 69.
I much prefer 68.
Never heard of it?
That's where you do me.
And then I will owe you 1.
Tomorrow. Promise!
by Would I lie?
Teach me 69
You sexy mathematician
Teach me gozintas
by Stirred Up of In your dreams
I'm no longer a figpucker.
I've given up pork and decided to go Kosher. That means I cannot sodomize lobsters or other strange sea animals as well. But whores are okay. Plenty of those around here, I tell you!
by DW
The next time I'm stateside,
I'll look you up so we can have
a wild affair to write bad
haiku about.
His schlong smelled like ham.
Ham that was left out for weeks.
I ran, vomiting.
He chased and caught me.
Now I smell like rotten pork.
There's pus in my hair.
You can say what you want, that's not as disgusting as pineapple on pizza. RIGHT?!
by The Dork Lard of the Sith, Darth Whorrendous of Doing Whorrible things to Whore's Ends.
Oh Darth Figpucker
Now you've got my attention
I'll be right over
by lovin pie of Nearby
If the zombie apocolypse happens and there are some fresh ones out there, I'm getting the handcuffs and KY.
by Go ahead, bite me!
And that doesn't really stop the fact that my balls are itching and you look like you could use a salty refreshment. Have a bloody mary w/ my scrotal sweat.
by Anonymous Poet
Actually, no, the electric socket doesn't have near enough juice. Maybe if you have some special 440 outlet and go from one hand to the outlet and the other to a water pipe (ground). And it's the current that gets you... so have to bypass the breaker if possible. It's harder than you think... so many safety precautions these days.
by Your welcome.
