BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
23 Years
139 Days
and
67174 Haikus
later...
Cherry petals float past my
window but I don't give a shit
cos I got the corona blues
Haiku #67102, by Keith Richards of Good to be anywhere
March 21, 2020 3:56 am ET

bernie is my dad
now shut up
i really dont care 'bout you
Haiku #67101, by mmmmmmmm
March 20, 2020 10:55 pm ET

6 girls, and 6 boys
Finally,
We can now have an orgy
Haiku #67100, by Female Hentai Protagonist
March 20, 2020 10:46 pm ET

hate takes too much work
the only "ism" we need
is pragmatism
Haiku #67099, by scotch of sober reflection, as I'm out of booze
March 20, 2020 4:20 pm ET

Clarified butter.
I don't hate every Hindu...
But that last ghee? Ommmmm...
Haiku #67098, by Mahamantra of Sanatana Dharma
March 20, 2020 9:22 am ET

i should clarify:
i don't hate every human
but that last guy? sure
Haiku #67097, by scotch of in a very half-hearted way
March 19, 2020 11:18 pm ET

Looking for human
To hate? Just start with yourself!
For you it's easy!
Haiku #67096, by Fortune Cookie of Bad Haiku
March 19, 2020 9:30 pm ET

can't get a hard-on?
don't bother with viagra
try pangolin balls
Haiku #67095, by scotch of hating humanity...https://planetsmag.com/2020-03-12/pangolin-balls-erectile-dysfunction-chinese-wet-market-virus/
March 19, 2020 9:13 pm ET

chinese wet markets:
capitalism's big fail.
government must act
Haiku #67094, by scotch of ok, so it's not all "wet markets", but free the pangolin (https://www.latimes.com/food/story/2020-03-11/coronavirus-ch
March 19, 2020 7:55 pm ET

"Repubs hate Science":
That's a stupid thing to say.
It's just meaningless.
Haiku #67093, by 0bservableTestableRepeatableFalsifiable
March 19, 2020 3:46 pm ET

Let's pray it away
Works like a sanitizer
For your sick old soul
Haiku #67092, by Jesus is lard
March 19, 2020 1:42 pm ET

Eagle Claw Village?
The village idiot speaks
And makes little sense.

Repubs hate science
Disbanding Pandemic group
Wss done by Trupm too

Get your facts straight first
Before acting like a fool
I will pray for you
Haiku #67091, by Jesus is lard
March 19, 2020 1:39 pm ET

Godless progressives
All murmuring nervously . . .
Virus got them SHOOK!
Haiku #67090, by Foibles of Atheists
March 19, 2020 8:37 am ET

The Democrats want
Our borders open
All disease welcome.

Such stupidity
a type never seen before
in all history
Haiku #67089, by Yue Fei of Eagle Claw Village
March 19, 2020 3:44 am ET

Hard to believe it
a Chicom disease- terror
tormenting the world.

Best the west wakes up
Communist rule is deadly
To every nation
Haiku #67088, by Yue Fei of Eagle Claw Village
March 19, 2020 3:39 am ET

Dainty, wrinkled frame
Wrapped in onyx robes with a
Wonderful jabot.
Haiku #67087, by Anonymous Poet
March 19, 2020 12:54 am ET

df suckles on
pence's teat, cooing softly:
don't believe science... now
Haiku #67086, by available as oil painting
March 18, 2020 11:29 pm ET

There is no virus.
But there is an asteroid.
Either way we're fucked.
Haiku #67085, by of of of
March 18, 2020 5:06 am ET

The coercive state
has Trump Derangement Syndrome
at global level.
Haiku #67084, by Believe Only Half of It
March 17, 2020 11:08 am ET

"Never let crises
Go to waste" - especially
Manufactured ones
Haiku #67083, by Looking At You, Government
March 17, 2020 1:12 am ET

All of this set up,
Global virus and meltdown,
To discredit Trump?
Haiku #67082, by Sense of Reality
March 15, 2020 9:37 pm ET

see the panic rise
heart of darkness is coming
apocalypse soon
Haiku #67081, by ash
March 15, 2020 8:15 am ET

Now, haiku is life...
And life is a filthy joke.
Where does that leave us?
Haiku #67080, by Hu Wan of Wuhan
March 15, 2020 3:25 am ET

Origin China
Mao Xi could have contained it
But instead lied.

Good Chinese people
Know the real truth about it
And try to fight back
Haiku #67079, by Yue Fei of Eagle Claw Village
March 15, 2020 3:21 am ET

The Wuhan Virus
Was covered up by Mao Xi
Hunts down truth tellers

Murder and torture
Concentration camps- terror.
For seventy years
Haiku #67078, by Yue Fei of Eagle claw Village
March 15, 2020 3:09 am ET

The men in their masks
scrub, mop, wipe and disinfect.
When they're done, I spit.
Haiku #67077, by of of of
March 15, 2020 3:00 am ET

10,000 neutron bombs
dropped on the the major population centers and the world would be a better place and the future would be brighter.
Haiku #67076, by Donald Trumps arm pit lump.
March 15, 2020 2:59 am ET

My step mother used to make the best fucking lasagna in the universe and I don't care if this is a haiku or not so suck my tiny little stinky balls until they smell like your mouth wash.
Haiku #67075, by of of of
March 15, 2020 2:56 am ET

You cannot stop it.
Inevitability.
Now go fuck some whores.
Haiku #67074, by Viruses are awesome! of But not lethal enough. We need a nuclear war.
March 15, 2020 2:54 am ET

I want the virus.
Lick escalator hand rails.
Thrown out of the mall.

But do not worry.
When I catch it, I will share.
Sharing is caring.
Haiku #67073, by of of of of of
March 15, 2020 2:51 am ET

A celebration;
The plague's acceleration:
Our coronation!
Haiku #67072, by Crown us with Many Crowns
March 13, 2020 9:33 am ET

Get ready for it
The Corona Holiday
Three weeks of paid leave
Haiku #67071, by Jesus is lard
March 13, 2020 7:20 am ET

Gray green aliens
spread their legs for your dollars.
Some mighty strange strange.

Sex with aliens.
There's no chance of STDs.
Incompatible.
Haiku #67070, by Warp 6, Mr. Sulu!
March 12, 2020 11:11 pm ET

It is better to
doodle your noodle than to
diddle your poodle.
Haiku #67069, by You know you miss me!
March 12, 2020 11:06 pm ET

not a lumberjack
i really don't sleep all night
does this look like work?
Haiku #67068, by scotch of full disclosure in untied states of insomnia
March 12, 2020 12:20 pm ET

i'm a lumberjack
and I'm OK, sleep all night
and i work all day


I sleep all night and I work all day
Haiku #67067, by scotch of everyone sing
March 12, 2020 11:45 am ET

I am a man's man.
I go four-wheelin' and shoot.
Now, where's my handbag?
Haiku #67066, by Big )l' Redneck in High Heels
March 12, 2020 8:17 am ET

God does not love you.
That's because you're a poet.
Now go be a man!
Haiku #67065, by Miyamoto Musashi and his 8 mistresses.
March 12, 2020 1:58 am ET

Joseph ate pussy.
Jesus loved some vagina.
They think it's holy.
Haiku #67064, by Wholly holy holes. of Holly folly trolly. Ding ding sings the bell.
March 12, 2020 1:55 am ET

Hippopotamus.
Scissor-tail fly catcher.
Duck-billed platypus.

Proof that God exists.
If you say no, then fuck you...
and your pachyderm.
Haiku #67063, by of of of
March 12, 2020 1:51 am ET

Kim Kardashian's
enormous rancid cooter
for next president.
Haiku #67062, by KK's Kunt 2020
March 12, 2020 1:32 am ET

Corona event:
Solar ejection from crown
The seventh seal loosed
Haiku #67061, by Jest a Lil' Old Studint of Eschatology
March 11, 2020 9:49 pm ET

the GOP are
*disaster* capitalists
dems are regular
Haiku #67060, by scotch of untied states of taking off ideological blinders
March 11, 2020 1:59 pm ET

dems are no commies
they are backed by billionaires
bernie's centrist-left
Haiku #67059, by scotch of bring back FDR
March 11, 2020 1:51 pm ET

if he's put back in
i'll suffer with the planet
and write bad haiku
Haiku #67058, by scotch of you don't know me
March 11, 2020 1:22 pm ET

real hate crimes go up
wherever trump holds rallies
and bernie scares you?

https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2019/03/22/trumps-rhetoric-does-inspire-more-hate-crimes/
Haiku #67057, by scotch of untied states of projection
March 11, 2020 1:19 pm ET

https://pjmedia.com/trending/schumers-scotus-threats-should-place-him-on-red-flag-list-gun-rights-leader-says/

When Bernies threaten
To burn cities down and kill
Is that common talk?

Americans are now wise
To leftist do as I say
Jive turkey talk

Four more years baby
You will cry hellish loud
And get violent.
Haiku #67056, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
March 11, 2020 12:57 pm ET

it's a common phrase
"bring a gun to a knife fight"
trump said "take her out"
Haiku #67055, by scotch of untied states of people playing dumb, or actually being dumb, while fascism takes hold
March 11, 2020 12:46 pm ET

Communist are worse
Than National Socialists
Then killed millions more
Haiku #67054, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
March 11, 2020 12:43 pm ET

When Obama said
Bring a gun to a knife fight
Did you cry?

Good for goose gander.
The Democrat jive turkeys
Need to use a mirror
Haiku #67053, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
March 11, 2020 12:35 pm ET