Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 73 Days and 69789 Haikus later...

A celebration;
The plague's acceleration:
Our coronation!
Haiku # 67072, March 13, 2020 9:33 am ET
by Crown us with Many Crowns
Get ready for it
The Corona Holiday
Three weeks of paid leave
Haiku # 67071, March 13, 2020 7:20 am ET
by Jesus is lard
Gray green aliens
spread their legs for your dollars.
Some mighty strange strange.

Sex with aliens.
There's no chance of STDs.
Haiku # 67070, March 12, 2020 11:11 pm ET
by Warp 6, Mr. Sulu!
It is better to
doodle your noodle than to
diddle your poodle.
Haiku # 67069, March 12, 2020 11:06 pm ET
by You know you miss me!
not a lumberjack
i really don't sleep all night
does this look like work?
Haiku # 67068, March 12, 2020 12:20 pm ET
by scotch of full disclosure in untied states of insomnia
i'm a lumberjack
and I'm OK, sleep all night
and i work all day

I sleep all night and I work all day
Haiku # 67067, March 12, 2020 11:45 am ET
by scotch of everyone sing
I am a man's man.
I go four-wheelin' and shoot.
Now, where's my handbag?
Haiku # 67066, March 12, 2020 8:17 am ET
by Big )l' Redneck in High Heels
God does not love you.
That's because you're a poet.
Now go be a man!
Haiku # 67065, March 12, 2020 1:58 am ET
by Miyamoto Musashi and his 8 mistresses.
Joseph ate pussy.
Jesus loved some vagina.
They think it's holy.
Haiku # 67064, March 12, 2020 1:55 am ET
by Wholly holy holes. of Holly folly trolly. Ding ding sings the bell.
Scissor-tail fly catcher.
Duck-billed platypus.

Proof that God exists.
If you say no, then fuck you...
and your pachyderm.
Haiku # 67063, March 12, 2020 1:51 am ET
by of of of
Kim Kardashian's
enormous rancid cooter
for next president.
Haiku # 67062, March 12, 2020 1:32 am ET
by KK's Kunt 2020
Corona event:
Solar ejection from crown
The seventh seal loosed
Haiku # 67061, March 11, 2020 9:49 pm ET
by Jest a Lil' Old Studint of Eschatology
the GOP are
*disaster* capitalists
dems are regular
Haiku # 67060, March 11, 2020 1:59 pm ET
by scotch of untied states of taking off ideological blinders
dems are no commies
they are backed by billionaires
bernie's centrist-left
Haiku # 67059, March 11, 2020 1:51 pm ET
by scotch of bring back FDR
if he's put back in
i'll suffer with the planet
and write bad haiku
Haiku # 67058, March 11, 2020 1:22 pm ET
by scotch of you don't know me
real hate crimes go up
wherever trump holds rallies
and bernie scares you?
Haiku # 67057, March 11, 2020 1:19 pm ET
by scotch of untied states of projection

When Bernies threaten
To burn cities down and kill
Is that common talk?

Americans are now wise
To leftist do as I say
Jive turkey talk

Four more years baby
You will cry hellish loud
And get violent.
Haiku # 67056, March 11, 2020 12:57 pm ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
it's a common phrase
"bring a gun to a knife fight"
trump said "take her out"
Haiku # 67055, March 11, 2020 12:46 pm ET
by scotch of untied states of people playing dumb, or actually being dumb, while fascism takes hold
Communist are worse
Than National Socialists
Then killed millions more
Haiku # 67054, March 11, 2020 12:43 pm ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
When Obama said
Bring a gun to a knife fight
Did you cry?

Good for goose gander.
The Democrat jive turkeys
Need to use a mirror
Haiku # 67053, March 11, 2020 12:35 pm ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
Get rid of Chicom's!
Disengage from biz with them!
Dangerous not to!
Haiku # 67052, March 11, 2020 12:32 pm ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
when giuliani
said trump could shoot james comey
did you give one shit?
Haiku # 67051, March 11, 2020 12:31 pm ET
by scotch of untied states of hypocrisy
when the donald said
maybe gun nuts could stop Hil
were you outraged? no
Haiku # 67050, March 11, 2020 12:29 pm ET
by scotch of untied states of hypocrisy
The Wuhan Virus
Communist party fook up!
How you like Mao now?
Haiku # 67049, March 11, 2020 12:17 pm ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
Chucky Shumer-dolt
Threats to the supreme's yak yak!
Chucky got red flagged

Take Chucky's guns
He don't have none? wat the hell?
His goon squad does though

Typical jive @$$
Communist Democrat dolt
Use a mirror fool
Haiku # 67048, March 11, 2020 12:14 pm ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
rubber hits the road
rubber leaf blight hits rubber
and then we are done
Haiku # 67047, March 10, 2020 12:38 pm ET
by scotch of forget coronavirus
Triangle I am
But four sided is my mind
Shapely eccentric
Haiku # 67046, March 10, 2020 8:40 am ET
by Pythagoras-on-Acidas of Lesbian Island
That's IT! You are right.
GOP are not right-wing...
Mostly globalists.
Haiku # 67045, March 10, 2020 8:22 am ET
by Early Hint of Spring
if they're not right wing,
neither is the GOP.
fox is their channel
Haiku # 67044, March 9, 2020 3:51 pm ET
by scotch of according to the FBI
Fox is not Right-wing
Fox is corporate money;
Lip gloss. No values.
Haiku # 67043, March 9, 2020 3:46 pm ET
by Hen House of Fox
picture their love-child:
roger ailes and dick nixon.
it's sean hannity
Haiku # 67042, March 9, 2020 1:28 pm ET
by scotch of
as it was designed,
"Fox News" works for the party.
Haiku # 67041, March 9, 2020 1:25 pm ET
by scotch of
He entertained us.
Why would I care if he's gay?
He entered anus.
Haiku # 67040, March 9, 2020 1:38 am ET
by of of of robot robot robot
They don't look like shit...
Those chicks are true goddesses.
(They're just a bit used).
Haiku # 67039, March 8, 2020 10:02 pm ET
by Subversion of the Pornocracy
You know what sucks ass?
Getting past a relationship with a girl who you were absolutely crazy about and then for bad reasons you both had to end it... but then after some time you try to jack off to porn, but can't because those chicks just look like shit.
That truly sucks ass!

Complain if you want.
A long seven syllables.
Ask me if I care!
Haiku # 67038, March 8, 2020 8:08 am ET
by of of of
oh hi ash, how's your
sex life? nice doggie! lisa!!!
you are tearing me apart!!!!
Haiku # 67037, March 7, 2020 1:56 pm ET
by Tommy VHSeau
here's a thing they say:
good is enemy of great.
bad yells "fight", takes bets
Haiku # 67036, March 7, 2020 2:05 am ET
by scotch of modern politics explained
Only one true god
Macho Man Randy Savage
Cream always rises
Haiku # 67035, March 6, 2020 1:47 pm ET
by Killdozer of CO
def not a haiku
perhaps put it to music
could be viral hit
Haiku # 67034, March 6, 2020 1:06 pm ET
by scotch of play free bird
i'm not scared of bugs
if the whiskey don't kill me
i'll live 'till i die
Haiku # 67033, March 6, 2020 12:17 pm ET
by scotch of immortality, at least so far
not a haiku, but hey, topical as all bejesus :

Late in the year of 2019
a novel virus hit the scene
and though the birth was a little bit hazy
just a few months later the world's gone batshit crazy

we've been waiting, just waiting, it seems
for apocalyptic times

see the people panic buying
watch them freak at their chance of dying
surely the media isn't lying

as news of the spread goes viral

our crisis is no longer existential
it's here and now and pestilential
watch anxiety go exponential

as the stories start to spiral

like coronavirus r.n.a.

it seems that stuff is here to stay
gonna all get some so they say
before the whole thing goes away

that's a dreadful worry

but if you're not old
or sick
or have other complications

you probably won't die
at least from it
in any hurry

but sorry to confirm, something will eventually kill you regardless
Haiku # 67032, March 6, 2020 4:36 am ET
by ash
A great way to explore my
Anal cavity
Haiku # 67031, March 6, 2020 3:56 am ET
by Boners in butts of 2020
drunk decisions are
Leading to pregnancies but
Just gunna send it
Haiku # 67030, March 6, 2020 3:53 am ET
by Burrito boy of Mars
when there is no line
There is something that distracts
And that wins us all
Haiku # 67029, March 6, 2020 3:52 am ET
by tittys donâ of San Diego
Well... somebody's got
Some extremely serious
Mommy-love issues
Haiku # 67028, March 5, 2020 11:08 pm ET
by Backing Away Slowly of Bad Haiku
I need Hillary
Mothering, smothering me
Globally sweaty
Haiku # 67027, March 5, 2020 9:27 pm ET
by Traveler of AR
I'd fuck Hillary.
Just to say been there done that.
Banged a first lady.

And if she were Pres.,
then I'd fuck Slick Willy too.
Maybe a three-way!
Haiku # 67026, March 5, 2020 8:08 pm ET
by of of of
Stuck on Hillary?
I think you are hot for her
You must like pantsuits
Haiku # 67025, March 5, 2020 6:03 pm ET
by Jesus is lard
Presidents task force:
Dudes who don't believe science
We are going to die
Haiku # 67024, March 5, 2020 5:59 pm ET
by Jesus is lard
Money was laundered
Truth got snorted up noses
Witnesses silenced
Haiku # 67023, March 5, 2020 2:37 pm ET
by Hillbillary of Scotch Tape
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