BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
23 Years
314 Days
and
68099 Haikus
later...
def not a haiku
perhaps put it to music
could be viral hit
Haiku #67034, by scotch of play free bird
March 6, 2020 1:06 pm ET

i'm not scared of bugs
if the whiskey don't kill me
i'll live 'till i die
Haiku #67033, by scotch of immortality, at least so far
March 6, 2020 12:17 pm ET

not a haiku, but hey, topical as all bejesus :

Late in the year of 2019
a novel virus hit the scene
and though the birth was a little bit hazy
just a few months later the world's gone batshit crazy

we've been waiting, just waiting, it seems
for apocalyptic times

see the people panic buying
watch them freak at their chance of dying
surely the media isn't lying

as news of the spread goes viral

our crisis is no longer existential
it's here and now and pestilential
watch anxiety go exponential

as the stories start to spiral

like coronavirus r.n.a.

it seems that stuff is here to stay
gonna all get some so they say
before the whole thing goes away

that's a dreadful worry

but if you're not old
or sick
or have other complications

you probably won't die
at least from it
in any hurry

but sorry to confirm, something will eventually kill you regardless
Haiku #67032, by ash
March 6, 2020 4:36 am ET

BDSM is
A great way to explore my
Anal cavity
Haiku #67031, by Boners in butts of 2020
March 6, 2020 3:56 am ET

drunk decisions are
Leading to pregnancies but
Just gunna send it
Haiku #67030, by Burrito boy of Mars
March 6, 2020 3:53 am ET

when there is no line
There is something that distracts
And that wins us all
Haiku #67029, by tittys donâ of San Diego
March 6, 2020 3:52 am ET

Well... somebody's got
Some extremely serious
Mommy-love issues
Haiku #67028, by Backing Away Slowly of Bad Haiku
March 5, 2020 11:08 pm ET

I need Hillary
Mothering, smothering me
Globally sweaty
Haiku #67027, by Traveler of AR
March 5, 2020 9:27 pm ET

I'd fuck Hillary.
Just to say been there done that.
Banged a first lady.

And if she were Pres.,
then I'd fuck Slick Willy too.
Maybe a three-way!
Haiku #67026, by of of of
March 5, 2020 8:08 pm ET

Stuck on Hillary?
I think you are hot for her
You must like pantsuits
Haiku #67025, by Jesus is lard
March 5, 2020 6:03 pm ET

Presidents task force:
Dudes who don't believe science
We are going to die
Haiku #67024, by Jesus is lard
March 5, 2020 5:59 pm ET

Money was laundered
Truth got snorted up noses
Witnesses silenced
Haiku #67023, by Hillbillary of Scotch Tape
March 5, 2020 2:37 pm ET

lesser minds can't see
her innocence proves her guilt
this blog explains it
Haiku #67022, by scotch of no thanks!
March 5, 2020 11:19 am ET

she is so guilty!
although never convicted.
proof of the deep state
Haiku #67021, by scotch of the rabbit hole
March 5, 2020 11:14 am ET

Those Arkansas tricks:
I went down the rabbit hole...
Found lots of bodies.
Haiku #67020, by Hillbillary's Team of Fake Lawyers
March 5, 2020 10:58 am ET

hil and obama
still hatching their evil schemes
in their secret lairs
Haiku #67019, by scotch of can anyone stop them? Oh, look, up in the sky!
March 5, 2020 1:53 am ET

Rose Law Whitewater
Mena Cocaine Gunrunning
(Arkancided All)
Haiku #67018, by Hillbillary of Global Village
March 4, 2020 8:23 pm ET

for all shopping needs:
badhaiku dot com website
if your needs are few
Haiku #67017, by scotch of minimalism
March 4, 2020 12:34 pm ET

We are sell fine watch
Huanjin trading company
There. I made haiku.
Haiku #67016, by Greatest Salesman of Central Party Command Structure
March 4, 2020 7:40 am ET

go forex elsewhere
this site has no currency
bye hungary ghost
Haiku #67015, by scotch of wind in the trees
March 4, 2020 1:42 am ET

https://currency-trading-brokers.com/forex-comparisons-ratings-reviews-hungary.html Listája szabályozott forex brókerek-alkuszok.
Haiku #67014, by Brokersjix of Brokers
March 3, 2020 9:29 pm ET

There's this guy I know
Trying to baptize a cat
Not really sure why
Haiku #67013, by Anomalous Poet
March 3, 2020 7:48 pm ET

science fiction i
suppose, but discord sez hot
dogs are on fridays
Haiku #67012, by Anonymous Poet
March 3, 2020 2:37 pm ET

6K years ago
god was making fake fossils
why? to test our faith
Haiku #67011, by scotch of i fail, see you in hell
March 3, 2020 12:07 pm ET

shrugs...cats in hats, a
tendency to turn ourselves
to idols of chance
Haiku #67010, by vhs
March 3, 2020 9:59 am ET

i believe in you
and i believe in your poo
god, now wash your hands
Haiku #67009, by scotch of scatotheology
March 2, 2020 9:21 pm ET

We are all God here.
See, I created something.
Same in the bathroom.
Haiku #67008, by of
March 2, 2020 7:27 pm ET

thing about santa:
he knows who's naughty and nice
you're all getting coal
Haiku #67007, by scotch of the melting North Pole
March 2, 2020 11:19 am ET

The thing about God
is that He IS omniscient.
And that's our problem.
Haiku #67006, by Presence/Absence of the Creator
March 2, 2020 7:58 am ET

if god's omniscient
he knew that i would post that
at the beginning
Haiku #67005, by scotch of all things, so it's part of the plan i guess
March 2, 2020 2:19 am ET

i believe in God
if you do not then that is
not my issue here
Haiku #67004, by vhs
March 2, 2020 12:03 am ET

god can count to five
'cause the bible tell us so
(in chapter "numbers")
Haiku #67003, by scotch of checked my syllable count, saw no issue
March 1, 2020 10:29 pm ET

That Japanese stuff:
Anime, weird esthetics.
It becomes boring.
Haiku #67002, by Harajuku of Shinjuku
March 1, 2020 8:21 pm ET

You are the story.
God is the author of it.
So bring Him glory!
Haiku #67001, by Theology of Telenovelas
March 1, 2020 1:42 pm ET

god can count to 5
so he's more omniscient
than those who cannot
Haiku #67000, by ash
March 1, 2020 7:23 am ET

god's not omniscient
god is not omnipotent
god is a story
Haiku #66999, by scotch of He told me so Himself
March 1, 2020 1:18 am ET

omniscience traps god
if god knows all, it follows:
god has no free will
Haiku #66998, by scotch of see Watchmen "A God Walks into a Bar"
March 1, 2020 1:17 am ET

Some scientists say
That the universe is flat
That's hilarious
Haiku #66997, by Anomalous Poet
February 29, 2020 2:59 pm ET

I can't stand this shit.
God is omniscient, and just,
but we are so lost.
Haiku #66996, by Calvinist Doctrine of the Ongoing Reformation
February 29, 2020 1:44 pm ET

Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust. We all fall down.
Ring around Rosie.
Haiku #66995, by Extinction Excitement of Thanatos
February 29, 2020 12:54 pm ET

corona virus
sailing out to take us all
a sampandemic
Haiku #66994, by ash
February 28, 2020 8:31 pm ET

subjected choices
confected predications
toss a word salad
Haiku #66993, by ash
February 28, 2020 8:26 pm ET

Whistleblower killed.
Obamacided. Yeah, right.
Phukk the See Eye Ay.
Haiku #66992, by something happened of SHOPPING
February 28, 2020 6:10 pm ET

nothing wrong with dogs
but me, i'm a cat person
tail, claws and the rest
Haiku #66991, by scotch of licking my butt - what?
February 28, 2020 12:33 pm ET

No thumbs: learned English
Government experiment
I'm a real good boy
https://memeguy.com/photos/images/be-cool-man-be-cool-66009.jpg
Haiku #66990, by Dog of Internet
February 28, 2020 1:34 am ET

i don't know my arce
from a big hole in the ground
but I can google
Haiku #66989, by scotch of untied states of the intertubes
February 27, 2020 10:56 pm ET

the second-person
singular present active
imperative of...
Haiku #66988, by scotch of arceÅ
February 27, 2020 10:52 pm ET

So now the question
Is, what does the word "arce" mean?
You dangum sumbit
Haiku #66987, by Anomalous Poet
February 27, 2020 8:35 pm ET

meaning of laurice:
the foetus of the rabbit
eaten as a treat
Haiku #66986, by scotch, yum yum of https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laurices
February 27, 2020 6:52 pm ET

"prove humanity"
the sumbit page entreats us
and then you post links
Haiku #66985, by scotch of oh, the humanity (and yeah, page title is sumbit, which sounds like a cowboy curse)
February 27, 2020 6:49 pm ET