BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
23 Years
237 Days
and
67689 Haikus
later...
"Never let crises
Go to waste" - especially
Manufactured ones
Haiku #67083, by Looking At You, Government
March 17, 2020 1:12 am ET

All of this set up,
Global virus and meltdown,
To discredit Trump?
Haiku #67082, by Sense of Reality
March 15, 2020 9:37 pm ET

see the panic rise
heart of darkness is coming
apocalypse soon
Haiku #67081, by ash
March 15, 2020 8:15 am ET

Now, haiku is life...
And life is a filthy joke.
Where does that leave us?
Haiku #67080, by Hu Wan of Wuhan
March 15, 2020 3:25 am ET

Origin China
Mao Xi could have contained it
But instead lied.

Good Chinese people
Know the real truth about it
And try to fight back
Haiku #67079, by Yue Fei of Eagle Claw Village
March 15, 2020 3:21 am ET

The Wuhan Virus
Was covered up by Mao Xi
Hunts down truth tellers

Murder and torture
Concentration camps- terror.
For seventy years
Haiku #67078, by Yue Fei of Eagle claw Village
March 15, 2020 3:09 am ET

The men in their masks
scrub, mop, wipe and disinfect.
When they're done, I spit.
Haiku #67077, by of of of
March 15, 2020 3:00 am ET

10,000 neutron bombs
dropped on the the major population centers and the world would be a better place and the future would be brighter.
Haiku #67076, by Donald Trumps arm pit lump.
March 15, 2020 2:59 am ET

My step mother used to make the best fucking lasagna in the universe and I don't care if this is a haiku or not so suck my tiny little stinky balls until they smell like your mouth wash.
Haiku #67075, by of of of
March 15, 2020 2:56 am ET

You cannot stop it.
Inevitability.
Now go fuck some whores.
Haiku #67074, by Viruses are awesome! of But not lethal enough. We need a nuclear war.
March 15, 2020 2:54 am ET

I want the virus.
Lick escalator hand rails.
Thrown out of the mall.

But do not worry.
When I catch it, I will share.
Sharing is caring.
Haiku #67073, by of of of of of
March 15, 2020 2:51 am ET

A celebration;
The plague's acceleration:
Our coronation!
Haiku #67072, by Crown us with Many Crowns
March 13, 2020 9:33 am ET

Get ready for it
The Corona Holiday
Three weeks of paid leave
Haiku #67071, by Jesus is lard
March 13, 2020 7:20 am ET

Gray green aliens
spread their legs for your dollars.
Some mighty strange strange.

Sex with aliens.
There's no chance of STDs.
Incompatible.
Haiku #67070, by Warp 6, Mr. Sulu!
March 12, 2020 11:11 pm ET

It is better to
doodle your noodle than to
diddle your poodle.
Haiku #67069, by You know you miss me!
March 12, 2020 11:06 pm ET

not a lumberjack
i really don't sleep all night
does this look like work?
Haiku #67068, by scotch of full disclosure in untied states of insomnia
March 12, 2020 12:20 pm ET

i'm a lumberjack
and I'm OK, sleep all night
and i work all day


I sleep all night and I work all day
Haiku #67067, by scotch of everyone sing
March 12, 2020 11:45 am ET

I am a man's man.
I go four-wheelin' and shoot.
Now, where's my handbag?
Haiku #67066, by Big )l' Redneck in High Heels
March 12, 2020 8:17 am ET

God does not love you.
That's because you're a poet.
Now go be a man!
Haiku #67065, by Miyamoto Musashi and his 8 mistresses.
March 12, 2020 1:58 am ET

Joseph ate pussy.
Jesus loved some vagina.
They think it's holy.
Haiku #67064, by Wholly holy holes. of Holly folly trolly. Ding ding sings the bell.
March 12, 2020 1:55 am ET

Hippopotamus.
Scissor-tail fly catcher.
Duck-billed platypus.

Proof that God exists.
If you say no, then fuck you...
and your pachyderm.
Haiku #67063, by of of of
March 12, 2020 1:51 am ET

Kim Kardashian's
enormous rancid cooter
for next president.
Haiku #67062, by KK's Kunt 2020
March 12, 2020 1:32 am ET

Corona event:
Solar ejection from crown
The seventh seal loosed
Haiku #67061, by Jest a Lil' Old Studint of Eschatology
March 11, 2020 9:49 pm ET

the GOP are
*disaster* capitalists
dems are regular
Haiku #67060, by scotch of untied states of taking off ideological blinders
March 11, 2020 1:59 pm ET

dems are no commies
they are backed by billionaires
bernie's centrist-left
Haiku #67059, by scotch of bring back FDR
March 11, 2020 1:51 pm ET

if he's put back in
i'll suffer with the planet
and write bad haiku
Haiku #67058, by scotch of you don't know me
March 11, 2020 1:22 pm ET

real hate crimes go up
wherever trump holds rallies
and bernie scares you?

https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2019/03/22/trumps-rhetoric-does-inspire-more-hate-crimes/
Haiku #67057, by scotch of untied states of projection
March 11, 2020 1:19 pm ET

https://pjmedia.com/trending/schumers-scotus-threats-should-place-him-on-red-flag-list-gun-rights-leader-says/

When Bernies threaten
To burn cities down and kill
Is that common talk?

Americans are now wise
To leftist do as I say
Jive turkey talk

Four more years baby
You will cry hellish loud
And get violent.
Haiku #67056, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
March 11, 2020 12:57 pm ET

it's a common phrase
"bring a gun to a knife fight"
trump said "take her out"
Haiku #67055, by scotch of untied states of people playing dumb, or actually being dumb, while fascism takes hold
March 11, 2020 12:46 pm ET

Communist are worse
Than National Socialists
Then killed millions more
Haiku #67054, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
March 11, 2020 12:43 pm ET

When Obama said
Bring a gun to a knife fight
Did you cry?

Good for goose gander.
The Democrat jive turkeys
Need to use a mirror
Haiku #67053, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
March 11, 2020 12:35 pm ET

Get rid of Chicom's!
Disengage from biz with them!
Dangerous not to!
Haiku #67052, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
March 11, 2020 12:32 pm ET

when giuliani
said trump could shoot james comey
did you give one shit?
Haiku #67051, by scotch of untied states of hypocrisy
March 11, 2020 12:31 pm ET

when the donald said
maybe gun nuts could stop Hil
were you outraged? no
Haiku #67050, by scotch of untied states of hypocrisy
March 11, 2020 12:29 pm ET

The Wuhan Virus
Communist party fook up!
How you like Mao now?
Haiku #67049, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
March 11, 2020 12:17 pm ET

Chucky Shumer-dolt
Threats to the supreme's yak yak!
Chucky got red flagged

Take Chucky's guns
He don't have none? wat the hell?
His goon squad does though

Typical jive @$$
Communist Democrat dolt
Use a mirror fool
Haiku #67048, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
March 11, 2020 12:14 pm ET

rubber hits the road
rubber leaf blight hits rubber
and then we are done

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt9617858/
Haiku #67047, by scotch of forget coronavirus
March 10, 2020 12:38 pm ET

Triangle I am
But four sided is my mind
Shapely eccentric
Haiku #67046, by Pythagoras-on-Acidas of Lesbian Island
March 10, 2020 8:40 am ET

That's IT! You are right.
GOP are not right-wing...
Mostly globalists.
Haiku #67045, by Early Hint of Spring
March 10, 2020 8:22 am ET

if they're not right wing,
neither is the GOP.
fox is their channel
Haiku #67044, by scotch of according to the FBI
March 9, 2020 3:51 pm ET

Fox is not Right-wing
Fox is corporate money;
Lip gloss. No values.
Haiku #67043, by Hen House of Fox
March 9, 2020 3:46 pm ET

picture their love-child:
roger ailes and dick nixon.
it's sean hannity
Haiku #67042, by scotch of https://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/blogpost/post/richard-nixon-and-roger-ailes-1970s-plan-to-put-the-gop-on-tv/2011/07/01/AG1W
March 9, 2020 1:28 pm ET

as it was designed,
"Fox News" works for the party.
GOP TV
Haiku #67041, by scotch of https://www.rawstory.com/2020/03/fox-news-sean-hannity-tailored-his-shows-to-trump-campaigns-suggestions-in-2016-fbi-documents/
March 9, 2020 1:25 pm ET

He entertained us.
Why would I care if he's gay?
He entered anus.
Haiku #67040, by of of of robot robot robot
March 9, 2020 1:38 am ET

They don't look like shit...
Those chicks are true goddesses.
(They're just a bit used).
Haiku #67039, by Subversion of the Pornocracy
March 8, 2020 10:02 pm ET

You know what sucks ass?
Getting past a relationship with a girl who you were absolutely crazy about and then for bad reasons you both had to end it... but then after some time you try to jack off to porn, but can't because those chicks just look like shit.
That truly sucks ass!

Complain if you want.
A long seven syllables.
Ask me if I care!
Haiku #67038, by of of of
March 8, 2020 8:08 am ET

oh hi ash, how's your
sex life? nice doggie! lisa!!!
you are tearing me apart!!!!
Haiku #67037, by Tommy VHSeau
March 7, 2020 1:56 pm ET

here's a thing they say:
good is enemy of great.
bad yells "fight", takes bets
Haiku #67036, by scotch of modern politics explained
March 7, 2020 2:05 am ET

Only one true god
Macho Man Randy Savage
Cream always rises
Haiku #67035, by Killdozer of CO
March 6, 2020 1:47 pm ET

def not a haiku
perhaps put it to music
could be viral hit
Haiku #67034, by scotch of play free bird
March 6, 2020 1:06 pm ET